FP Riffs 4: Pinkie Pie's Fishing Adventure
God help me, this is an addiction...
At any rate, this time I’m torturing my girlfriend Nocturnal Melodies (or No_M) with a story because I’m a terrible awful bastard. And yes, it’s the product of more scouring through the F/F/T3K submissions. I went for a multi-chapter abomination that, oh good lord, has FAR more negative votes than positive ones. A short dose of stupid known as “Pinkie Pie’s Fishing Adventure,” written by ThePonyWithNoName.
At any rate, this time I’m torturing my girlfriend Nocturnal Melodies (or No_M) with a story because I’m a terrible awful bastard. And yes, it’s the product of more scouring through the F/F/T3K submissions. I went for a multi-chapter abomination that, oh good lord, has FAR more negative votes than positive ones. A short dose of stupid known as “Pinkie Pie’s Fishing Adventure,” written by ThePonyWithNoName.
Fallen Prime: And I keep the rusty sawblades right here next to the doorway.
Nocturnal Melodies: Why do you need so many of them?
Fallen: Don’t question my taste in armaments. Yeah, I JUST got done fixing this place up. Scary what that yellow blob of social awkwardness knows about weaponry...
(Right on cue, there’s a squeak from the other side of the doorway.)
Fallen: Speak of the devilfucking dickens...
No_M: For the record, I worry about you much more than I worry about Fluttershy over there.
Fluttershy: (walking in) Is that... a good thing?
No_M: Yes, Fluttershy, that is a very good thing. Then again, I worry about pretty much everyone I come into contact with...
Pinkie Pie: HI, EVERYPONY!
Fallen: JESUS! What are you doing here!?
Pinkie: It’s MST time again! Oh hey, who’s this?
No_M: Hey Pinkie! And please Prime, you didn’t see that coming?
Fallen: You can NEVER see this one coming. By the way, this is Nocturnal Melodies.
Pinkie: I’ll just call you Nocty.
No_M: I feel like a Noctowl now. I don’t know why, but I do.
Fallen: Fantastic, but Pinkie, you never answered me. Why are you here? I understand what time it is, but if you’re here right now, you’re gonna-
(The armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: -get stuck in here with us. You planned for this, didn’t you.
Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Yeah, she did. And today we have, as per your wishes, a story that tries to have a STORY.
Fallen: Rainbow, you’re manning this by yourself?
Dash: Nope.
Vinyl Scratch: (from TV) What up, bitches?
Fallen: Oh, fantastic.
No_M: Is it storytime yet? Can it be storytime now pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
Fallen: You’re... looking forward to this. Oh god.
Fluttershy: Can I go?
Vinyl: Sorry, yellow, but you’re staying put. Rainbow, what are we doing to them?
Dash: This time we’re unleashing a story called “Pinkie Pie’s Fishing Adventure.”
Pinkie: It stars me!
Fallen: How surprising.
Dash: It involves fishing.
Fallen: I can’t contain my shock.
Dash: And griffon attacks.
Fallen: Wait, what?
No_M: Okay, I’m even more excited for this now.
Fallen: Don’t say I didn’t warn you...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Nocturnal Melodies: Why do you need so many of them?
Fallen: Don’t question my taste in armaments. Yeah, I JUST got done fixing this place up. Scary what that yellow blob of social awkwardness knows about weaponry...
(Right on cue, there’s a squeak from the other side of the doorway.)
Fallen: Speak of the devilfucking dickens...
No_M: For the record, I worry about you much more than I worry about Fluttershy over there.
Fluttershy: (walking in) Is that... a good thing?
No_M: Yes, Fluttershy, that is a very good thing. Then again, I worry about pretty much everyone I come into contact with...
Pinkie Pie: HI, EVERYPONY!
Fallen: JESUS! What are you doing here!?
Pinkie: It’s MST time again! Oh hey, who’s this?
No_M: Hey Pinkie! And please Prime, you didn’t see that coming?
Fallen: You can NEVER see this one coming. By the way, this is Nocturnal Melodies.
Pinkie: I’ll just call you Nocty.
No_M: I feel like a Noctowl now. I don’t know why, but I do.
Fallen: Fantastic, but Pinkie, you never answered me. Why are you here? I understand what time it is, but if you’re here right now, you’re gonna-
(The armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: -get stuck in here with us. You planned for this, didn’t you.
Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Yeah, she did. And today we have, as per your wishes, a story that tries to have a STORY.
Fallen: Rainbow, you’re manning this by yourself?
Dash: Nope.
Vinyl Scratch: (from TV) What up, bitches?
Fallen: Oh, fantastic.
No_M: Is it storytime yet? Can it be storytime now pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
Fallen: You’re... looking forward to this. Oh god.
Fluttershy: Can I go?
Vinyl: Sorry, yellow, but you’re staying put. Rainbow, what are we doing to them?
Dash: This time we’re unleashing a story called “Pinkie Pie’s Fishing Adventure.”
Pinkie: It stars me!
Fallen: How surprising.
Dash: It involves fishing.
Fallen: I can’t contain my shock.
Dash: And griffon attacks.
Fallen: Wait, what?
No_M: Okay, I’m even more excited for this now.
Fallen: Don’t say I didn’t warn you...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
One day, Twilight and her friends decided to go camping in White Tail Woods. When they got to a nice spot in the middle of the woods, the Six friends quickly set up camp. After three hours, Rarity finishes setting up her luxurious house tent with Spike's help.
Fallen: Riveting fishing action!
"Thank you, Spike," Rarity said as she kisses him on the forehead, "You've been a great help".
Fluttershy: What tense is this in?
Pinkie: All of them!
Scooting the cloud 9-riding baby dragon over to Fluttershy who's too busy befriending the woodland creatures over by her tent to notice him,
Fluttershy: A mare needs her priorities, you know.
Rarity turns her attention to Applejack and asks
"Do you need help with YOUR tent, Applejack?"
"No ma'am," AJ replied as she unrolled her tent, "All's I need is the moon and stars".
Fallen: Then why does she have a tent to unroll if she never intended to use it?
No_M: Are you really trying to logic? Haven’t you learned by now that logic-ing isn’t something that’s possible in most fanfics?
Rolling her eyes with an unsruprised "Hmph", Rarity enters her tent saying "Well sleep in the dirt if you must," as Rainbow Dash lands in between the two,
Fallen: And Rainbow Dash will be playing the role of Denny this evening.
"But I plan on enjoying our little camping trip".
Rainbow looks into Rarity's tent and asks "Uh, you do know that the idea of camping is ROUGHING IT!?"
Fallen: Bow-chicka-bow-wow?
Rarity pops her head out of her tent and replies "I AM roughing it, I turned down THREE very important clients to come along!"
Pinkie: Blowing off business is serious business!
With that, Rarity retreats back into the tent as an exasperated RD flies over to a tree with a blanket and pillow on one of it's branches and proceeds with a nap.
Finishing setting up the fire pit, Twilight looks around the site then over to a pink, decorated tent with balloons attached to the sides and asks "Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie: I’m right here, guys! HEY!
No_M: Pinkie, I’m not sure, but I think your fourth-wall privileges have been revoked for things like this.
Fallen: Let it go. You can logic Pinkie less than you can logic the story.
"Last I saw her," said Spike recovering from his twitterpated state, "She had a fishing pole with her".
Fluttershy: But ponies don’t normally go fishing. We can’t even-
Fallen: We’ll have downtime later, ‘Shy. You can talk about it then.
Fluttershy: Oh... okay...
Rainbow then reports "She's down by the lake fishing".
Fluttershy then asks "What about the food we've brought with us?"
Pinkie: Oops. That was supposed to last us?
"Y'all needn't worry 'bout THAT none," Applejack answered pointing to a sack tied up to a branch on the opposite of Rainbow Dash's tree, "Dash is guardin' it"
No_M: Maybe that’s why Pinkie is fishing? To leave a bribe for the bears to stay away from their actual food?
Fallen: Because god knows park rangers are effective at keeping bears away from picnic baskets...
Meanwhile down at the lake, Pinkie is sitting on the dock with a pile of fish behind her pole at hoof singing to herself.
"Oh the lake is full of wonderful things, if I went exploring, I could meet a king, I tell you with this song I sing, that I really, really, really, really love fish-ing! WHEE!"
Pinkie: How was the song?
Fallen: Ear cancer.
No_M: It was shorter than your normal songs.
Fluttershy: It’s... nice.
After finishing her song, a walrus comes out of the water and starts eating the fish. Noticing this, Pinkie reels her pole in, sits it aside aside, turns around and exclaims "HEY! What are you doing?"
Fallen: Um... eating fish. I thought the story just said that.
The walrus ignores her and continues eating. Just then, a big, green, burly Earth Pony wearing a straw hat and a stock of hay in his mouth and a Cutie Mark of a fish shows up. "What are YOU doin'?" He asked her in an Appleloosan accent.
No_M: Because fishing poles plus piles of fish equal making cupcakes, and totally not fishing.
Fallen: Why would somepony from Appleloosa even give a shit about fishing in the first place?
Fluttershy: Maybe he wanted to experience other Equestrian cultures?
Fallen: He’s FROM Appleloosa. He has a fishing cutie mark. Appleloosa is made of DESERT. You can’t explain that away that easily.
"I'm fishing," she replied with a slight hint of anger in her voice, "And this walrus is eating my score!"
Pinkie: I was totally about to get a touchdown, too!
Fallen: You don’t know the first thing about fishing, do you.
Pinkie: ...slam dunk?
The Earth Pony then tells her "Mah name is Big Catch, and YOU happen to be fishin' on MAH property!"
"WHAT!?" Pinkie shouted in disbelief, "But I didn't see any signs!"
Fluttershy: Except for the giant flashing sign saying “BIG CATCH’S FISHING HOLE.”
As Big Catch showed Pinkie the deed, Fluttershy walks in noticing the walrus and ignoring the argument. With an excited gasp, she rushes over to the walrus and gives him a big hug.
"Oh my goodness," she proclaimed, "You're so cute!"
No_M: A couple of my friends tried to imitate a walrus before. It wasn’t at all cute, but it was pretty funny.
Pinkie: OOH! I wanna try! Um... anypony have any straws?
Fallen: NO, Pinkie.
Big Catch looks over at Fluttershy with a sneer asking "You touchin' mah walrus?"
Fallen: And hello, accidentally implied bestiality.
Fluttershy: How is that even a thing...?
Pushed to the limit, Pinkie claims "That's it, I challenge you to a fishing contest! Winner gets to decide what happens to the lake!"
No_M: Oh god, is this gonna play out like the ordeal with Flim and Flam?
"Loser works for the winner for a month!" Big Catch added.
Fallen: Looks like it. More or less.
The two then leave in their seprate ways which lead to Pinkie falling into the water.
Fluttershy: Why was that important?
Fallen: Because of the reason.
Moments later, everypony gathed around to see this competition. Big Catch is in a regular fishing boat while Pinkie is in a brightly decorated boat with streamers and balloons.
Fallen: I know exactly what you’re thinking, Pinkie, but please don’t-
Pinkie: I’M ON A BOAT!
Fallen: (facepalm)
"Fillies and gentalcolts," Spike started, "Welcome to the fishing competition that will decide an argument!"
Fallen: Isn’t that the best way to open a sporting event commentary? Also, I almost read that as “genitalcolts.”
No_M: (Backs away slowly, in the direction of the sawblades)
Fallen: OH NO. Don’t think I’m not watching you...
Applejack adds "The one that catches the most fish and the biggest gets the deed to this here lake!"
Fluttershy: Isn’t it a public lake?
"Contestants ready...Get set..." As Spike rang the bell, the contest began. Both Pinkie and Big Catch were tied with each other until Spike rang the bell again, the last fish caught was on both hooks.
Pinkie: WOW! Such fast-paced action!
Fallen: Or lack thereof.
It was the biggest one out of both sides. This lead to a tug-of-war between the two Earth Ponies. Pinkie's pole slips out of her hooves as the two reeled in.
Fallen: I’d say “butterfingers,” but ponies don’t have any digits on their hooves.
"Ha! That's what you get for tryin' to take MAH property!" Big Catch gloated, "Now ah believe y'all are trespassin'!"
"JUST A SECOND!" Rainbow Dash says as she and Fluttershy fly over to the contestants, "That last fish CLEARLY belongs to Pinkie Pie! Her pole's still attatched to it!"
Fallen: I can’t be the only one whose mind just went in the gutter for that.
Pinkie: What are we talking about?
Fallen: Oh, nothing, just a veiled fish-fucking joke at your expense.
Pinkie: O...kay...
Big Catch replies while glaring at the angry Pegasis, "But it's in MAH boat!"
"Well, mister Big Catch, sir," Fluttershy begins in her timid manner, "When the bell rang, our friend pulled up the fish first. So, um, if you don't mind-"
Fallen: And as they argued, the previously-caught fish all suffocated.
Fluttershy: That’s awful!
"You want MAH fish?" Big Catch asked in anger grabbing the pole and throwing the fish at Fluttershy, "You can have MAH fish!"
Fallen: He threw. The fish. At Fluttershy. No_M, you want to take this, or should I?
No_M: CHAINSAWS AT THE READY!!
Fluttershy dodges the fish and the pole with a yelp as Big Catch realizes what he just did. Before anypony could react, the walrus returns and takes the fish with the pole.
Rainbow Dash then tells Big Catch "SEE WHAT YOU DID!?"
Fallen: LOLNOP3 >:]
"Hey, wait a minute, that silly walrus took my pole!" Pinkie cried before diving in. She swam after the walrus. Just when she had him right where she wanted him, his tail smacks her unconcious sending her to the bottom.
No_M: Pinkie then grew gills and lived out the rest of her days as a seahorse.
Pinkie: They’re called seaponies!
End of part 1.
Fallen: I know it’s a little early, but I think we deserve a break. Fluttershy wanted to get something off her chest anyway.
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you so much!
Fallen: Riveting fishing action!
"Thank you, Spike," Rarity said as she kisses him on the forehead, "You've been a great help".
Fluttershy: What tense is this in?
Pinkie: All of them!
Scooting the cloud 9-riding baby dragon over to Fluttershy who's too busy befriending the woodland creatures over by her tent to notice him,
Fluttershy: A mare needs her priorities, you know.
Rarity turns her attention to Applejack and asks
"Do you need help with YOUR tent, Applejack?"
"No ma'am," AJ replied as she unrolled her tent, "All's I need is the moon and stars".
Fallen: Then why does she have a tent to unroll if she never intended to use it?
No_M: Are you really trying to logic? Haven’t you learned by now that logic-ing isn’t something that’s possible in most fanfics?
Rolling her eyes with an unsruprised "Hmph", Rarity enters her tent saying "Well sleep in the dirt if you must," as Rainbow Dash lands in between the two,
Fallen: And Rainbow Dash will be playing the role of Denny this evening.
"But I plan on enjoying our little camping trip".
Rainbow looks into Rarity's tent and asks "Uh, you do know that the idea of camping is ROUGHING IT!?"
Fallen: Bow-chicka-bow-wow?
Rarity pops her head out of her tent and replies "I AM roughing it, I turned down THREE very important clients to come along!"
Pinkie: Blowing off business is serious business!
With that, Rarity retreats back into the tent as an exasperated RD flies over to a tree with a blanket and pillow on one of it's branches and proceeds with a nap.
Finishing setting up the fire pit, Twilight looks around the site then over to a pink, decorated tent with balloons attached to the sides and asks "Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?"
Pinkie: I’m right here, guys! HEY!
No_M: Pinkie, I’m not sure, but I think your fourth-wall privileges have been revoked for things like this.
Fallen: Let it go. You can logic Pinkie less than you can logic the story.
"Last I saw her," said Spike recovering from his twitterpated state, "She had a fishing pole with her".
Fluttershy: But ponies don’t normally go fishing. We can’t even-
Fallen: We’ll have downtime later, ‘Shy. You can talk about it then.
Fluttershy: Oh... okay...
Rainbow then reports "She's down by the lake fishing".
Fluttershy then asks "What about the food we've brought with us?"
Pinkie: Oops. That was supposed to last us?
"Y'all needn't worry 'bout THAT none," Applejack answered pointing to a sack tied up to a branch on the opposite of Rainbow Dash's tree, "Dash is guardin' it"
No_M: Maybe that’s why Pinkie is fishing? To leave a bribe for the bears to stay away from their actual food?
Fallen: Because god knows park rangers are effective at keeping bears away from picnic baskets...
Meanwhile down at the lake, Pinkie is sitting on the dock with a pile of fish behind her pole at hoof singing to herself.
"Oh the lake is full of wonderful things, if I went exploring, I could meet a king, I tell you with this song I sing, that I really, really, really, really love fish-ing! WHEE!"
Pinkie: How was the song?
Fallen: Ear cancer.
No_M: It was shorter than your normal songs.
Fluttershy: It’s... nice.
After finishing her song, a walrus comes out of the water and starts eating the fish. Noticing this, Pinkie reels her pole in, sits it aside aside, turns around and exclaims "HEY! What are you doing?"
Fallen: Um... eating fish. I thought the story just said that.
The walrus ignores her and continues eating. Just then, a big, green, burly Earth Pony wearing a straw hat and a stock of hay in his mouth and a Cutie Mark of a fish shows up. "What are YOU doin'?" He asked her in an Appleloosan accent.
No_M: Because fishing poles plus piles of fish equal making cupcakes, and totally not fishing.
Fallen: Why would somepony from Appleloosa even give a shit about fishing in the first place?
Fluttershy: Maybe he wanted to experience other Equestrian cultures?
Fallen: He’s FROM Appleloosa. He has a fishing cutie mark. Appleloosa is made of DESERT. You can’t explain that away that easily.
"I'm fishing," she replied with a slight hint of anger in her voice, "And this walrus is eating my score!"
Pinkie: I was totally about to get a touchdown, too!
Fallen: You don’t know the first thing about fishing, do you.
Pinkie: ...slam dunk?
The Earth Pony then tells her "Mah name is Big Catch, and YOU happen to be fishin' on MAH property!"
"WHAT!?" Pinkie shouted in disbelief, "But I didn't see any signs!"
Fluttershy: Except for the giant flashing sign saying “BIG CATCH’S FISHING HOLE.”
As Big Catch showed Pinkie the deed, Fluttershy walks in noticing the walrus and ignoring the argument. With an excited gasp, she rushes over to the walrus and gives him a big hug.
"Oh my goodness," she proclaimed, "You're so cute!"
No_M: A couple of my friends tried to imitate a walrus before. It wasn’t at all cute, but it was pretty funny.
Pinkie: OOH! I wanna try! Um... anypony have any straws?
Fallen: NO, Pinkie.
Big Catch looks over at Fluttershy with a sneer asking "You touchin' mah walrus?"
Fallen: And hello, accidentally implied bestiality.
Fluttershy: How is that even a thing...?
Pushed to the limit, Pinkie claims "That's it, I challenge you to a fishing contest! Winner gets to decide what happens to the lake!"
No_M: Oh god, is this gonna play out like the ordeal with Flim and Flam?
"Loser works for the winner for a month!" Big Catch added.
Fallen: Looks like it. More or less.
The two then leave in their seprate ways which lead to Pinkie falling into the water.
Fluttershy: Why was that important?
Fallen: Because of the reason.
Moments later, everypony gathed around to see this competition. Big Catch is in a regular fishing boat while Pinkie is in a brightly decorated boat with streamers and balloons.
Fallen: I know exactly what you’re thinking, Pinkie, but please don’t-
Pinkie: I’M ON A BOAT!
Fallen: (facepalm)
"Fillies and gentalcolts," Spike started, "Welcome to the fishing competition that will decide an argument!"
Fallen: Isn’t that the best way to open a sporting event commentary? Also, I almost read that as “genitalcolts.”
No_M: (Backs away slowly, in the direction of the sawblades)
Fallen: OH NO. Don’t think I’m not watching you...
Applejack adds "The one that catches the most fish and the biggest gets the deed to this here lake!"
Fluttershy: Isn’t it a public lake?
"Contestants ready...Get set..." As Spike rang the bell, the contest began. Both Pinkie and Big Catch were tied with each other until Spike rang the bell again, the last fish caught was on both hooks.
Pinkie: WOW! Such fast-paced action!
Fallen: Or lack thereof.
It was the biggest one out of both sides. This lead to a tug-of-war between the two Earth Ponies. Pinkie's pole slips out of her hooves as the two reeled in.
Fallen: I’d say “butterfingers,” but ponies don’t have any digits on their hooves.
"Ha! That's what you get for tryin' to take MAH property!" Big Catch gloated, "Now ah believe y'all are trespassin'!"
"JUST A SECOND!" Rainbow Dash says as she and Fluttershy fly over to the contestants, "That last fish CLEARLY belongs to Pinkie Pie! Her pole's still attatched to it!"
Fallen: I can’t be the only one whose mind just went in the gutter for that.
Pinkie: What are we talking about?
Fallen: Oh, nothing, just a veiled fish-fucking joke at your expense.
Pinkie: O...kay...
Big Catch replies while glaring at the angry Pegasis, "But it's in MAH boat!"
"Well, mister Big Catch, sir," Fluttershy begins in her timid manner, "When the bell rang, our friend pulled up the fish first. So, um, if you don't mind-"
Fallen: And as they argued, the previously-caught fish all suffocated.
Fluttershy: That’s awful!
"You want MAH fish?" Big Catch asked in anger grabbing the pole and throwing the fish at Fluttershy, "You can have MAH fish!"
Fallen: He threw. The fish. At Fluttershy. No_M, you want to take this, or should I?
No_M: CHAINSAWS AT THE READY!!
Fluttershy dodges the fish and the pole with a yelp as Big Catch realizes what he just did. Before anypony could react, the walrus returns and takes the fish with the pole.
Rainbow Dash then tells Big Catch "SEE WHAT YOU DID!?"
Fallen: LOLNOP3 >:]
"Hey, wait a minute, that silly walrus took my pole!" Pinkie cried before diving in. She swam after the walrus. Just when she had him right where she wanted him, his tail smacks her unconcious sending her to the bottom.
No_M: Pinkie then grew gills and lived out the rest of her days as a seahorse.
Pinkie: They’re called seaponies!
End of part 1.
Fallen: I know it’s a little early, but I think we deserve a break. Fluttershy wanted to get something off her chest anyway.
Fluttershy: Oh, thank you so much!
Fallen: Alright. You were making a point about fishing?
Fluttershy: I certainly was. First of all, ponies can’t eat any sort of meat, and I don’t know why anypony would ever want to, so fishing isn’t a practical activity.
Pinkie: What about for sport? You don’t have to eat them then.
Fluttershy: That seems even worse! There’s no reason to capture fish like this for your own amusement! It makes it impossible for the poor things to breathe, and it’s just cruel! At least if they were being eaten, it would have a purpose, but this is just torture! Everything about this premise is fundamentally and morally wrong!
Fallen: Remind me why we brought her along.
No_M: She got locked in here with us before we could get her out.
Pinkie: She’s got you there, Primey.
Fallen: Yeah, I guess, but I refuse to believe you didn’t plan for this.
Pinkie: Of course not! But wait... Dashie, did you set her up to be here?
Dash: (from TV) I didn’t see the harm in it.
Pinkie: What did I tell you about pranking Fluttershy!?
Dash: You’ve done this to her before.
Fallen: I can vouch for that. I did one with her. She used up all my brain bleach, and I still don’t think it got rid of the story.
Fluttershy: Oh Celestia why...
Dash: Well, not much you can do about it, now is there?
Fallen: Not us, but you’re the one at the controls.
Vinyl: (from TV) Oh, hey, he’s right! Why don’t I just-
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: DAMMIT, VINYL!
Fluttershy: I certainly was. First of all, ponies can’t eat any sort of meat, and I don’t know why anypony would ever want to, so fishing isn’t a practical activity.
Pinkie: What about for sport? You don’t have to eat them then.
Fluttershy: That seems even worse! There’s no reason to capture fish like this for your own amusement! It makes it impossible for the poor things to breathe, and it’s just cruel! At least if they were being eaten, it would have a purpose, but this is just torture! Everything about this premise is fundamentally and morally wrong!
Fallen: Remind me why we brought her along.
No_M: She got locked in here with us before we could get her out.
Pinkie: She’s got you there, Primey.
Fallen: Yeah, I guess, but I refuse to believe you didn’t plan for this.
Pinkie: Of course not! But wait... Dashie, did you set her up to be here?
Dash: (from TV) I didn’t see the harm in it.
Pinkie: What did I tell you about pranking Fluttershy!?
Dash: You’ve done this to her before.
Fallen: I can vouch for that. I did one with her. She used up all my brain bleach, and I still don’t think it got rid of the story.
Fluttershy: Oh Celestia why...
Dash: Well, not much you can do about it, now is there?
Fallen: Not us, but you’re the one at the controls.
Vinyl: (from TV) Oh, hey, he’s right! Why don’t I just-
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: DAMMIT, VINYL!
We rejoin Pinkie in an underwater cave. As she regains conciousness, she notices a male pony with a Cutie Mark of a clam on his lower half being a fish tail sitting in a puddle of water.
Pinkie: See? Look! Seaponies!
No_M: I was kidding about the seaponies. I... I didn’t think they were actually a thing...
Fallen: Get used to that feeling. Fics do that very often to you.
"Are you all right, miss?" the pony asked in a soft, raspy voice.
It took a couple of seconds, but the out-of-breath Earth Pony perks up and begins running around in a panic shouting "OH MY GOODNESS! FISH! LAKE! WALRUS! NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! CONTEST! POLE! SLAP!" She then plops in front of the strange pony.
Fluttershy: You could have been a bit clearer with your explanation. I mean... that’s just my opinion...
"My name is Clam Clop" he said,
Fallen: Ew.
No_M: Did your mind just go where I think it just went?
Fallen: If yours didn’t, the stories you’re reading are too good.
"I am a Merpony.
Pinkie: Okay, NOT a seapony. But close!
Now what's this about a walrus?"
Pinkie then proceeds to explaining her situation; "Well, yesterday, me and my friends were at Carosel Boutique and after Rarity started panicing about losing a pice of an outfit she was making, Twilight then had an idea".
Fluttershy: Twilight tends to have a lot of those.
After three hours of explaining every detail up to her meeting Clam, Pinkie then asks "So why is there an underwather cave in a lake?"
Fallen: You know... they never specified if this cave had any air in it. For all we know, Pinkie could be slowly drowning, and talking isn’t doing her any favors.
"This cave is connected to the sea," he replied,
Fluttershy: Doesn’t that make it a tunnel?
"Specifically, to my home, Gallopagos Island". He then points to the pool of water behind Pinkie. "Please, hop in".
Pinkie then then jumps
Fallen: jumps
into the pool asking "What are we doing?"
Clam then heads into the pool himself and hoofs Pinkie Pie a cupcake with green frosting saying "All your questions will soon be answred. For now, eat that".
Fallen: But she only really asked one question that you haven’t answered.
"Done!" Pinkie shouted licking the frosting off of her face.
Clam dives in followed by Pinkie Pie who holds her breath. Noticing her puffy cheeks, Clam points out "You do not need to do that, the cupcake you ate had an ingredient that temporarily gives you the ability to breathe underwater, long enough to get to the island".
Fallen: Okay, NOW my mind’s scaring me. I’m convinced some part of Clam went into that pastry, and I don’t know why.
After blowing out a few bubbles, Pinkie replies in a gurgly voice "Okie dokie lokie!"
Pinkie: But Clam’s voice wasn’t all gurgly. That’s not fair! He should have an awesome voice too!
The two travel on the ocean floor seeing various sea creatures along the way. When they got to a tunnel in the mountain on their path, the effects of the cupcake began to wear off. They quickly swam through the tunnel into a lake full of Merponies.
As Pinkie makes it to dry land, Clam began to explain the reason for binging
Fallen: Hello, flashbacks to “Bittersweet.” And now I’m sad.
her to the island; "This is Merpony Lake, my domain. Your destination is Buckatowa Village. A local will escort you to there. I will see you again around the waters of the island. Farewell for now, Wielder of the Element of Laughter!"
Fluttershy: How did he know that she’s the Element of Laughter?
Pinkie: Maybe he read ahead in the script!
He then dives into the water again as our party-loving heroine walks along the path in the jungle until she runs into a female, tropical tan Earth Pony with a flower in her grass-green mane with a Cutie Mark of a Coconut Tree on her flank.
"Greetings, miss Pie,"
Fallen: Okay, why do they all know Pinkie?
Pinkie: Maybe the bearers are just that famous.
Fallen: Isn’t that at odds with your last excuse?
Pinkie: Who knows?
the native filly says in a voice as soft as Fluttershy's yet slightly rough as Rainbow Dash's, "My name is Paradise, come with me".
The two Earth Ponies walk aways before making it to the village. There, she ran into a familiar face wearing a sun hat and an aloha shirt. "Derpy?" Pinkie claimed seeing her.
Derpy: Somepony called for me?
Fallen: STOP DOING THAT!
"Oh, hi, Pinkie," replied the grey Pegasus, "Are you here on vacation too?"
"No, I actually don't know what I'm doing here" said Pinkie, "No, seriously, what's going on? As Twilight would say, 'this makes no sense!' I've been acting practically out of character!
Fallen: Took you long enough to notice.
You're being a big, confusing, weird, crazy confusie confusing pants!"
Wait, what?
"Well first I'm fishing in a lake while camping with my friends, then a big guy tells me it's HIS lake, then I get into a fishing contest for the lake then my pole gets stolen and then I'm brought to this island and now I'm in a village on said island with Derpy Hooves! And why do you keep calling this Pinkie Pie's FISHING Adventure when there's no actual fishing going on right now!? AND WHAT'S WITH THE WALRUS!? DO I EVER GET THE POLE BACK!?"
No_M: Of all the things you could be worried about, it’s whether or not you get your fishing pole back.
*Munch* *Munch* *Gulp*
"What the hay?"
Sorry, you were ranting so long, I left to get some lunch.
Fallen: Oh god, she’s really in dialogue with the author.
Pinkie: But isn’t that what we’re doing right now?
Fallen: SHHHHHH! They’re not supposed to know that!
"Haven't you been paying attention? The point is, you're writing me out of character for most of this!"
Hey, at least I didn't write you into a murderous butcher-baker like the guy who wrote Cupcakes did!
"I guess you're right...Wait, you read that?"
Pinkie: Even I know there’s such thing as too much meta.
Fallen: Wait. You- RESTRAINT!?
No, just a desciption of it on Know Your Meme.
Fallen: Pussy.
"Oh..."
Okay...So Derpy, why don't you explain how you got to have a vacation here?
"That would take up a whole nother paragraph,
Fluttershy: Or a more pleasing story. No... no offense to this one...
are you sure you want to finish up this part with that?"
Aw pony feathers!
Okay, that was a disaster...Anyway, after givng the two Ponyvillians a tour of the village, Paradise brings them to a big hut.
"But what about the-?"
All: SHUT UP!
WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THE WALRUS FOR NOW!? I'LL GET TO THAT! Sorry, now then, a male, yellow Earth Pony in a tribal headdress with an aloha shirt of a different design of that of Derpy's and a Cutie Mark of a bottle of a sunblock on his flank exits the hut.
"Greetings bodacious visitors," He said in a surfer dude voice, "Welsome to Gallopagose Island!"
Fallen: Oh, I already hate this son of a bitch.
Paradise then replies, "Father, I brough the chosen one"
"Righteous, come this way" The chief said.
He then leads them to a wall with what appears to be a picture of Pinkie Pie's Cutie Mark.
Fallen: So the merponies have a stalker shrine of Pinkie?
End of part 2
"Wait, that's it?"
Afraid so, your rant took up most of the second to last paragraph.
Fallen: You have no idea what a paragraph is. And I think I need another breather. Something’s been bothering me anyway.
Pinkie: Are you gonna do this every chapter?
Fallen: If shit keeps coming up, then yes. There are only four anyway, so you’ll live.
Pinkie: See? Look! Seaponies!
No_M: I was kidding about the seaponies. I... I didn’t think they were actually a thing...
Fallen: Get used to that feeling. Fics do that very often to you.
"Are you all right, miss?" the pony asked in a soft, raspy voice.
It took a couple of seconds, but the out-of-breath Earth Pony perks up and begins running around in a panic shouting "OH MY GOODNESS! FISH! LAKE! WALRUS! NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! CONTEST! POLE! SLAP!" She then plops in front of the strange pony.
Fluttershy: You could have been a bit clearer with your explanation. I mean... that’s just my opinion...
"My name is Clam Clop" he said,
Fallen: Ew.
No_M: Did your mind just go where I think it just went?
Fallen: If yours didn’t, the stories you’re reading are too good.
"I am a Merpony.
Pinkie: Okay, NOT a seapony. But close!
Now what's this about a walrus?"
Pinkie then proceeds to explaining her situation; "Well, yesterday, me and my friends were at Carosel Boutique and after Rarity started panicing about losing a pice of an outfit she was making, Twilight then had an idea".
Fluttershy: Twilight tends to have a lot of those.
After three hours of explaining every detail up to her meeting Clam, Pinkie then asks "So why is there an underwather cave in a lake?"
Fallen: You know... they never specified if this cave had any air in it. For all we know, Pinkie could be slowly drowning, and talking isn’t doing her any favors.
"This cave is connected to the sea," he replied,
Fluttershy: Doesn’t that make it a tunnel?
"Specifically, to my home, Gallopagos Island". He then points to the pool of water behind Pinkie. "Please, hop in".
Pinkie then then jumps
Fallen: jumps
into the pool asking "What are we doing?"
Clam then heads into the pool himself and hoofs Pinkie Pie a cupcake with green frosting saying "All your questions will soon be answred. For now, eat that".
Fallen: But she only really asked one question that you haven’t answered.
"Done!" Pinkie shouted licking the frosting off of her face.
Clam dives in followed by Pinkie Pie who holds her breath. Noticing her puffy cheeks, Clam points out "You do not need to do that, the cupcake you ate had an ingredient that temporarily gives you the ability to breathe underwater, long enough to get to the island".
Fallen: Okay, NOW my mind’s scaring me. I’m convinced some part of Clam went into that pastry, and I don’t know why.
After blowing out a few bubbles, Pinkie replies in a gurgly voice "Okie dokie lokie!"
Pinkie: But Clam’s voice wasn’t all gurgly. That’s not fair! He should have an awesome voice too!
The two travel on the ocean floor seeing various sea creatures along the way. When they got to a tunnel in the mountain on their path, the effects of the cupcake began to wear off. They quickly swam through the tunnel into a lake full of Merponies.
As Pinkie makes it to dry land, Clam began to explain the reason for binging
Fallen: Hello, flashbacks to “Bittersweet.” And now I’m sad.
her to the island; "This is Merpony Lake, my domain. Your destination is Buckatowa Village. A local will escort you to there. I will see you again around the waters of the island. Farewell for now, Wielder of the Element of Laughter!"
Fluttershy: How did he know that she’s the Element of Laughter?
Pinkie: Maybe he read ahead in the script!
He then dives into the water again as our party-loving heroine walks along the path in the jungle until she runs into a female, tropical tan Earth Pony with a flower in her grass-green mane with a Cutie Mark of a Coconut Tree on her flank.
"Greetings, miss Pie,"
Fallen: Okay, why do they all know Pinkie?
Pinkie: Maybe the bearers are just that famous.
Fallen: Isn’t that at odds with your last excuse?
Pinkie: Who knows?
the native filly says in a voice as soft as Fluttershy's yet slightly rough as Rainbow Dash's, "My name is Paradise, come with me".
The two Earth Ponies walk aways before making it to the village. There, she ran into a familiar face wearing a sun hat and an aloha shirt. "Derpy?" Pinkie claimed seeing her.
Derpy: Somepony called for me?
Fallen: STOP DOING THAT!
"Oh, hi, Pinkie," replied the grey Pegasus, "Are you here on vacation too?"
"No, I actually don't know what I'm doing here" said Pinkie, "No, seriously, what's going on? As Twilight would say, 'this makes no sense!' I've been acting practically out of character!
Fallen: Took you long enough to notice.
You're being a big, confusing, weird, crazy confusie confusing pants!"
Wait, what?
"Well first I'm fishing in a lake while camping with my friends, then a big guy tells me it's HIS lake, then I get into a fishing contest for the lake then my pole gets stolen and then I'm brought to this island and now I'm in a village on said island with Derpy Hooves! And why do you keep calling this Pinkie Pie's FISHING Adventure when there's no actual fishing going on right now!? AND WHAT'S WITH THE WALRUS!? DO I EVER GET THE POLE BACK!?"
No_M: Of all the things you could be worried about, it’s whether or not you get your fishing pole back.
*Munch* *Munch* *Gulp*
"What the hay?"
Sorry, you were ranting so long, I left to get some lunch.
Fallen: Oh god, she’s really in dialogue with the author.
Pinkie: But isn’t that what we’re doing right now?
Fallen: SHHHHHH! They’re not supposed to know that!
"Haven't you been paying attention? The point is, you're writing me out of character for most of this!"
Hey, at least I didn't write you into a murderous butcher-baker like the guy who wrote Cupcakes did!
"I guess you're right...Wait, you read that?"
Pinkie: Even I know there’s such thing as too much meta.
Fallen: Wait. You- RESTRAINT!?
No, just a desciption of it on Know Your Meme.
Fallen: Pussy.
"Oh..."
Okay...So Derpy, why don't you explain how you got to have a vacation here?
"That would take up a whole nother paragraph,
Fluttershy: Or a more pleasing story. No... no offense to this one...
are you sure you want to finish up this part with that?"
Aw pony feathers!
Okay, that was a disaster...Anyway, after givng the two Ponyvillians a tour of the village, Paradise brings them to a big hut.
"But what about the-?"
All: SHUT UP!
WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THE WALRUS FOR NOW!? I'LL GET TO THAT! Sorry, now then, a male, yellow Earth Pony in a tribal headdress with an aloha shirt of a different design of that of Derpy's and a Cutie Mark of a bottle of a sunblock on his flank exits the hut.
"Greetings bodacious visitors," He said in a surfer dude voice, "Welsome to Gallopagose Island!"
Fallen: Oh, I already hate this son of a bitch.
Paradise then replies, "Father, I brough the chosen one"
"Righteous, come this way" The chief said.
He then leads them to a wall with what appears to be a picture of Pinkie Pie's Cutie Mark.
Fallen: So the merponies have a stalker shrine of Pinkie?
End of part 2
"Wait, that's it?"
Afraid so, your rant took up most of the second to last paragraph.
Fallen: You have no idea what a paragraph is. And I think I need another breather. Something’s been bothering me anyway.
Pinkie: Are you gonna do this every chapter?
Fallen: If shit keeps coming up, then yes. There are only four anyway, so you’ll live.
Fluttershy: What’s wrong, Fallen?
Fallen: I don’t know if it’s anything that’s wrong, but lately, I’ve noticed that whenever the story mentions Derpy or muffins-
Derpy: I heard someone call me! Where are the muffins?
Fallen: -that happens. And don’t go anywhere, Derpy.
Derpy: Um... alright. Why?
Fallen: I have a few questions about you repeatedly coming in here, but first and foremost is how you’re getting in in the first place.
Derpy: Most of your windows are wide open.
Fallen: …oh. So none of us were ever really trapped. Though they ARE too high for most of us to reach- wait, where’s Fluttershy?
Derpy: You guys are trapped? It didn’t look like it, since she flew by without any problems.
Fallen: Clever mare...
(The remaining windows shut tight, leaving Fluttershy free and Derpy trapped.)
Vinyl: (from TV) Shit, sorry, I’m still new to this. Wait, that’s not the same pegasus that was there before, is it? The last mare had pink hair. And straight vision.
Derpy: Hey! I can still see! I just have problems with depth perception. And focus. And seeing.
Dash: (from TV) You let her LEAVE? I thought you said you could handle this!
Vinyl: Nopony said anything about any bucking windows!
Pinkie: Calm down, Dashie. I never noticed them either, so it’s not Scratchie’s fault!
Fallen: Okay, all of you shut up. I’m trying to talk to Derpy. I know how you get in, but how do you keep hearing mentions of you or muffins in the stories we read?
Derpy: I don’t know if I should tell you that. The Doctor said-
Fallen: Okay, that tells me more than I needed to know. One last thing, though. You were mentioned a LOT in the first fic Pinkie and Rainbow made me read, but you never popped in. So why now?
Derpy: I don’t know. Maybe I was out of town whenever you did your other thingy.
Fallen: Or out with the Doctor?
Derpy: Uh-
Fallen: You don’t have to tell, I’m not gonna ask. It’s a shame you have to sit through this one with us now, though. I can’t believe Fluttershy had it in her to-
(A light knock is heard on the nearest window.)
Fluttershy: Um... excuse me... can you let me back in?
Pinkie: Sure! Dashie, Fluttershy’s back!
Dash: Wait, seriously? Vinyl, open those windows back up!
(The windows reopen, and Fluttershy reenters.)
Fluttershy: I’m so sorry, everypony. I really wanted to leave this story behind, but... I just felt so terrible about leaving the rest of you here, so I turned back around. I hope you can forgive me...
Fallen: Forgive you? I envied you.
Pinkie: HOORAY! Now it’s a real party again!
Fallen: I question your exact definition of “party.” Derpy, I guess you can go.
Derpy: Oh, alright. See you around, everypony!
(As Derpy turns to wave, she smashes into the wall and knocks several weapons over.)
Derpy: Oops. Sorry. (flies away)
Fallen: And I JUST reorganized everything...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: I don’t know if it’s anything that’s wrong, but lately, I’ve noticed that whenever the story mentions Derpy or muffins-
Derpy: I heard someone call me! Where are the muffins?
Fallen: -that happens. And don’t go anywhere, Derpy.
Derpy: Um... alright. Why?
Fallen: I have a few questions about you repeatedly coming in here, but first and foremost is how you’re getting in in the first place.
Derpy: Most of your windows are wide open.
Fallen: …oh. So none of us were ever really trapped. Though they ARE too high for most of us to reach- wait, where’s Fluttershy?
Derpy: You guys are trapped? It didn’t look like it, since she flew by without any problems.
Fallen: Clever mare...
(The remaining windows shut tight, leaving Fluttershy free and Derpy trapped.)
Vinyl: (from TV) Shit, sorry, I’m still new to this. Wait, that’s not the same pegasus that was there before, is it? The last mare had pink hair. And straight vision.
Derpy: Hey! I can still see! I just have problems with depth perception. And focus. And seeing.
Dash: (from TV) You let her LEAVE? I thought you said you could handle this!
Vinyl: Nopony said anything about any bucking windows!
Pinkie: Calm down, Dashie. I never noticed them either, so it’s not Scratchie’s fault!
Fallen: Okay, all of you shut up. I’m trying to talk to Derpy. I know how you get in, but how do you keep hearing mentions of you or muffins in the stories we read?
Derpy: I don’t know if I should tell you that. The Doctor said-
Fallen: Okay, that tells me more than I needed to know. One last thing, though. You were mentioned a LOT in the first fic Pinkie and Rainbow made me read, but you never popped in. So why now?
Derpy: I don’t know. Maybe I was out of town whenever you did your other thingy.
Fallen: Or out with the Doctor?
Derpy: Uh-
Fallen: You don’t have to tell, I’m not gonna ask. It’s a shame you have to sit through this one with us now, though. I can’t believe Fluttershy had it in her to-
(A light knock is heard on the nearest window.)
Fluttershy: Um... excuse me... can you let me back in?
Pinkie: Sure! Dashie, Fluttershy’s back!
Dash: Wait, seriously? Vinyl, open those windows back up!
(The windows reopen, and Fluttershy reenters.)
Fluttershy: I’m so sorry, everypony. I really wanted to leave this story behind, but... I just felt so terrible about leaving the rest of you here, so I turned back around. I hope you can forgive me...
Fallen: Forgive you? I envied you.
Pinkie: HOORAY! Now it’s a real party again!
Fallen: I question your exact definition of “party.” Derpy, I guess you can go.
Derpy: Oh, alright. See you around, everypony!
(As Derpy turns to wave, she smashes into the wall and knocks several weapons over.)
Derpy: Oops. Sorry. (flies away)
Fallen: And I JUST reorganized everything...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
As Pinkie Pie looked at the picture, she couldn't help but wonder, "Why is there a picture of my Cutie Mark here?"
The chief replied "This painting from generations past like, represents the coming of a great hero, brah"
Fallen: So the creepy obsessed stalkers are either psychic or time travelers.
Pinkie: Or psychic time travelers!
Paradise continues, "Legend has it that whoever bares the Cutie Mark of the three tailed orbs shall make way for the challenge of the Weilder of the Element of Itself"
Fallen: Huh. Sounds like there may be an Element of Redundancy.
"The Element of Itself?" Pinkie asked.
"It is said that the one who weilds the Element of Itself is the Fragment of Harmony. This element is said to be the most powerful of all six but is indepenant from them. In order for 12 to become one, the foretold weilder must aquire his element"
Hey, Derpy, that was Paradise's line!
Fluttershy: I don’t understand what’s happening here. At all.
Fallen: I’m just as lost as you.
Fluttershy: Why did I come back...?
"But I read it in the brochure!"
Look, whatever, just try to be a good little secondary character and just stick to comments and questions relating to the current situation.
Pinkie: HEY! Don’t talk to Derpy like that, story!
"But doesn't that mean-?"
No, it means...You know what, just wait for me to tell you when to talk. Ugh, first paragraph and this is already happening, I swear!
Fallen: Okay, you REALLY have no idea how paragraphs work or what they are.
Okay, so after hearing the story, thank you very much, Pinkie notices a Brownish Orange Unicorn wearing a vest with pockets with a Cutie Mark of a treasure map on her flank levitating a magnifying glass over HER Cutie Mark.
No_M: Dat flank.
"The three tailed orbs..." she murmured.
"Um, where I'M from, those are called BALOONS!" Pinkie commented...Okay, Derpy, you can talk again.
Pinkie: She could always talk, silly! You just weren’t letting her.
"Hi, Goldie!" Said Derpy.
The unicorn then looks at her and says "Oh, there you are! If you wan't
Fallen: Okay, that’s just incompetence at the English language.
to be my assistant for this, we have to stay together".
"Wait, I thought you said you were on vacation!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"I am," Derpy replied, "But I also offered my services to Goldie here
Fallen: Prostitution? Was the mail carrier job REALLY not paying that much?
Fluttershy: How could you say that about Derpy!?
Fallen: Oh, like that’s the worst thing I’ve said about someone. Today.
because her other assistant ran off on her"
Pinkie then looks at Goldie and asks "Who are you?"
"Oh, forgive me," she said putting her magnifying glass away, "My husband, daughter and I are so renowned, I often forget to introduce myself. My name is Goldenrod, Equestria's finest treasure-hunter! I'm here looking for the Element of Itself"
Fallen: Seriously. What the fuck does that even mean?
Paradise walks up to Goldie and says "Ah, so You're the one who sent the letter. I am to be your guide in your expedition. Let us be off".
Fluttershy: I don’t know if trusting this pony you just met to guide you on a journey is the best idea...
After introductions were on out of the way, Pinkie, Goldie, Derpy and Paradise begin their journey. As they continue into the jungle, Pinkie notices something on the ground.
"HEY GUYS, WAIT!" She shouted. Everypony gathered around what Pinkie was looking at.
"I don't see anything" Derpy claims as she's squinting at the blank area.
"It's a picture of my Cutie Mark!" Pinkie said, "Ooh, there's another...And another..." She continues this as she follows this trail.
"'And she shall see the path before her eyes...'" Goldie said.
Fallen: That’s PATHETIC for a sacred prophecy excerpt.
"Hurry, before we lose her!"
The three ponies followed out heroine. As they went along in the dark reaches of the jungle, two trees on the right fall seperate ways and...Oh HAY to the no!
"AAAAH, OLD SPICE ODER BLOCKER BODY SPRAY IS TOO POWERFUL TO LET THIS GUY MAKE FAN-FICTION ABOUT A GIRLY SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Dass right"
No_M: What? What’s even going on? Did the story interrupt itself again?
Dude, what the hay?
No_M: Good god it did. Why though? What is the point of all these interruptions?
Pinkie: I... dunno, honestly.
Fallen: Oh no. That is the absolute worst sign.
"I was about to ask you the same thing. You kow why you write stuff like this?"
Yeah but go ahead and throw in your opinion.
"YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE A MAN!"
Pinkie: You need Princess Celestia’s deodorant armor!
Look, I think I know what you're problem is, you're one of those dudes who don't get Bronies. Here, watch the first two episodes.
Fallen: Um... my gateway was “Over a Barrel” and “A Bird in the Hoof.” I doubt the pilot would’ve roped me in as effectively.
No_M: “Party of One”, that is all.
"Okay, but I don't see what it'll do for your case"
Two hours later...
"Okay, I see why now, I'm sorry..."
It's cool. Just do your pec thing and fly away.
"Okay...FRIENDSHIP IS POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"
Fallen: No argument.
Now that that's over, let's continue.
The four followed the trail to a field where they find-
"WAIT A MINUTE!"
Yes, Pinkie?
No_M: Y’know, I’d find this story more interesting and less annoying if the fourth wall didn’t get broken every five seconds.
Pinkie: I don’t try to do THIS much damage to it!
"The walrus...In a tuxedo, a top hat and and a moustache...Riding a giant contraption...With my fishing pole as a lever by his chair? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME ANGRY!?"
Fallen: You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry...
Hey, I couldn't write him out of the story, he's important...Somehow...This was the best I can come up with, but there's another bad guy after this. For now, why don't you introduce yourself?
"BREHEM! Yes, well, my name is Professor Thaddeus Q. Blubberton"
No_M: How original, giving a walrus a name with the word ‘blubber’ somehow incorporated into it.
he said in a refined voice.
Pinkie giggles at his name...Yeah, I thought you'd like that.
"My old nemesis" Goldie says walking up in front of the group, "You're after the Element of Itself too, aren't you!?"
"Indeed I am, my little pony," Said Blubberton,
Fluttershy: Um... why?
"But you unfortunately have it in your posession. What we are REALLY after, is the component to activate this element".
Derpy goes wall-eyed and asks "...Come again?"
Fallen: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
With a sigh, Blubberton eleborates, "If you were to reffer to the brochure," Aw horse apples, not this again, "It tells you that the Element of Itself is created by the one who seeks it but has it already.
Fluttershy: How does that make sense?
Pinkie: You’ll understand when you’re younger.
But enough of this," he said pointing to a cage with another familiar face in it, "Shall we begin our dance?"
"FLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie and Derpy shouted.
No_M: Oh hell no. Where are those sawblades?
Fluttershy: I grabbed them. But... I can put them back...
"That's your friend?" Goldie asked, "I'll destract him, you two go get her!" Blubberton gives a whistle and ten griffins show up. "Man, I hate these guys" Goldie muttered.
Fallen: I’m confused. Completely. This is supposed to be a STORY?
As Goldie began fighting, the two Ponyvillians gallop over to the machine, dodging pies, bombs and boxing gloves along the way until they got up to Fluttershy. As Derpy starts bucking the cage, hops up to the cockpit and frees her fishing pole. She then leaves to help Fluttershy.
No_M: I feel like we’re missing something here...
Pinkie: Are you sure? I’m happy to help look for it!
Then Blubberton shouts, "NO, THAT'S THE SELF-DESTRUCT SWITCH!"
Aw come on, say it!
"No, it's demeaning, and a stareotype!"
No_M: ‘Stareotype’? Hm... Hey Fluttershy, would the stare work on walruses?
Fluttershy: I assume it would. But I’ve never cared for a walrus, let alone used it on one.
No_M: Yeah... I’m just wondering why this story you didn’t try to use the stare on it when it tried to get you in the cage, or even once it had you in the cage.
Fine, he then looks at the dashboard and says with a sigh, "That's the last time I buy my blueprints from a couple of smooth-talking salesponies"
Pinkie: The Flim Flam brothers strike again!
Pinkie and Derpy manage to get Fluttershy off the suspending bar before the machine exploded. After taking down the last griffin, Goldie rushed over to the cage and used her magic to unlock it.
"Thank you, everypony," Fluttershy said exiting the cage, "I was so scared!"
Pinkie walked up to her and asked "What was that all about? How did you get captured like that?"
Flashing back to the point Pinkie dove in after Blubberton, Fluttershy explained
"After you went after the walrus, Big Catch came back to the lake's shore. He whistled, then a mean-looking pegasus with three scratch marks on the left side of his flank and a whole pride of griffins
Fallen: Would a group of griffons really be called a pride? As opposed to a flock, or some avian-related word?
show up attempting to capture everypony. Everyone else managed to get away thanks to Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but Rarity and I weren't so lucky. That's the last thing I remembered before they put me to sleep. The next thing I knew, I woke up in that cage"
No_M: Okay... so that explains how they got her in the cage. I guess it makes sense... somehow...
Fallen: This thing and sense don’t even exist within the same plane of reality.
Just then, the aforementioned pegasus shows up with an army of griffins. One of them appear to be Gilda.
End of Part 3...Very good, we've managed to get through one with minimal interruptions.
Fallen: No, this was interrupted far too often. And speaking of interruptions, I need to sit down again after this.
The chief replied "This painting from generations past like, represents the coming of a great hero, brah"
Fallen: So the creepy obsessed stalkers are either psychic or time travelers.
Pinkie: Or psychic time travelers!
Paradise continues, "Legend has it that whoever bares the Cutie Mark of the three tailed orbs shall make way for the challenge of the Weilder of the Element of Itself"
Fallen: Huh. Sounds like there may be an Element of Redundancy.
"The Element of Itself?" Pinkie asked.
"It is said that the one who weilds the Element of Itself is the Fragment of Harmony. This element is said to be the most powerful of all six but is indepenant from them. In order for 12 to become one, the foretold weilder must aquire his element"
Hey, Derpy, that was Paradise's line!
Fluttershy: I don’t understand what’s happening here. At all.
Fallen: I’m just as lost as you.
Fluttershy: Why did I come back...?
"But I read it in the brochure!"
Look, whatever, just try to be a good little secondary character and just stick to comments and questions relating to the current situation.
Pinkie: HEY! Don’t talk to Derpy like that, story!
"But doesn't that mean-?"
No, it means...You know what, just wait for me to tell you when to talk. Ugh, first paragraph and this is already happening, I swear!
Fallen: Okay, you REALLY have no idea how paragraphs work or what they are.
Okay, so after hearing the story, thank you very much, Pinkie notices a Brownish Orange Unicorn wearing a vest with pockets with a Cutie Mark of a treasure map on her flank levitating a magnifying glass over HER Cutie Mark.
No_M: Dat flank.
"The three tailed orbs..." she murmured.
"Um, where I'M from, those are called BALOONS!" Pinkie commented...Okay, Derpy, you can talk again.
Pinkie: She could always talk, silly! You just weren’t letting her.
"Hi, Goldie!" Said Derpy.
The unicorn then looks at her and says "Oh, there you are! If you wan't
Fallen: Okay, that’s just incompetence at the English language.
to be my assistant for this, we have to stay together".
"Wait, I thought you said you were on vacation!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"I am," Derpy replied, "But I also offered my services to Goldie here
Fallen: Prostitution? Was the mail carrier job REALLY not paying that much?
Fluttershy: How could you say that about Derpy!?
Fallen: Oh, like that’s the worst thing I’ve said about someone. Today.
because her other assistant ran off on her"
Pinkie then looks at Goldie and asks "Who are you?"
"Oh, forgive me," she said putting her magnifying glass away, "My husband, daughter and I are so renowned, I often forget to introduce myself. My name is Goldenrod, Equestria's finest treasure-hunter! I'm here looking for the Element of Itself"
Fallen: Seriously. What the fuck does that even mean?
Paradise walks up to Goldie and says "Ah, so You're the one who sent the letter. I am to be your guide in your expedition. Let us be off".
Fluttershy: I don’t know if trusting this pony you just met to guide you on a journey is the best idea...
After introductions were on out of the way, Pinkie, Goldie, Derpy and Paradise begin their journey. As they continue into the jungle, Pinkie notices something on the ground.
"HEY GUYS, WAIT!" She shouted. Everypony gathered around what Pinkie was looking at.
"I don't see anything" Derpy claims as she's squinting at the blank area.
"It's a picture of my Cutie Mark!" Pinkie said, "Ooh, there's another...And another..." She continues this as she follows this trail.
"'And she shall see the path before her eyes...'" Goldie said.
Fallen: That’s PATHETIC for a sacred prophecy excerpt.
"Hurry, before we lose her!"
The three ponies followed out heroine. As they went along in the dark reaches of the jungle, two trees on the right fall seperate ways and...Oh HAY to the no!
"AAAAH, OLD SPICE ODER BLOCKER BODY SPRAY IS TOO POWERFUL TO LET THIS GUY MAKE FAN-FICTION ABOUT A GIRLY SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Dass right"
No_M: What? What’s even going on? Did the story interrupt itself again?
Dude, what the hay?
No_M: Good god it did. Why though? What is the point of all these interruptions?
Pinkie: I... dunno, honestly.
Fallen: Oh no. That is the absolute worst sign.
"I was about to ask you the same thing. You kow why you write stuff like this?"
Yeah but go ahead and throw in your opinion.
"YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE A MAN!"
Pinkie: You need Princess Celestia’s deodorant armor!
Look, I think I know what you're problem is, you're one of those dudes who don't get Bronies. Here, watch the first two episodes.
Fallen: Um... my gateway was “Over a Barrel” and “A Bird in the Hoof.” I doubt the pilot would’ve roped me in as effectively.
No_M: “Party of One”, that is all.
"Okay, but I don't see what it'll do for your case"
Two hours later...
"Okay, I see why now, I'm sorry..."
It's cool. Just do your pec thing and fly away.
"Okay...FRIENDSHIP IS POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"
Fallen: No argument.
Now that that's over, let's continue.
The four followed the trail to a field where they find-
"WAIT A MINUTE!"
Yes, Pinkie?
No_M: Y’know, I’d find this story more interesting and less annoying if the fourth wall didn’t get broken every five seconds.
Pinkie: I don’t try to do THIS much damage to it!
"The walrus...In a tuxedo, a top hat and and a moustache...Riding a giant contraption...With my fishing pole as a lever by his chair? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME ANGRY!?"
Fallen: You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry...
Hey, I couldn't write him out of the story, he's important...Somehow...This was the best I can come up with, but there's another bad guy after this. For now, why don't you introduce yourself?
"BREHEM! Yes, well, my name is Professor Thaddeus Q. Blubberton"
No_M: How original, giving a walrus a name with the word ‘blubber’ somehow incorporated into it.
he said in a refined voice.
Pinkie giggles at his name...Yeah, I thought you'd like that.
"My old nemesis" Goldie says walking up in front of the group, "You're after the Element of Itself too, aren't you!?"
"Indeed I am, my little pony," Said Blubberton,
Fluttershy: Um... why?
"But you unfortunately have it in your posession. What we are REALLY after, is the component to activate this element".
Derpy goes wall-eyed and asks "...Come again?"
Fallen: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
With a sigh, Blubberton eleborates, "If you were to reffer to the brochure," Aw horse apples, not this again, "It tells you that the Element of Itself is created by the one who seeks it but has it already.
Fluttershy: How does that make sense?
Pinkie: You’ll understand when you’re younger.
But enough of this," he said pointing to a cage with another familiar face in it, "Shall we begin our dance?"
"FLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie and Derpy shouted.
No_M: Oh hell no. Where are those sawblades?
Fluttershy: I grabbed them. But... I can put them back...
"That's your friend?" Goldie asked, "I'll destract him, you two go get her!" Blubberton gives a whistle and ten griffins show up. "Man, I hate these guys" Goldie muttered.
Fallen: I’m confused. Completely. This is supposed to be a STORY?
As Goldie began fighting, the two Ponyvillians gallop over to the machine, dodging pies, bombs and boxing gloves along the way until they got up to Fluttershy. As Derpy starts bucking the cage, hops up to the cockpit and frees her fishing pole. She then leaves to help Fluttershy.
No_M: I feel like we’re missing something here...
Pinkie: Are you sure? I’m happy to help look for it!
Then Blubberton shouts, "NO, THAT'S THE SELF-DESTRUCT SWITCH!"
Aw come on, say it!
"No, it's demeaning, and a stareotype!"
No_M: ‘Stareotype’? Hm... Hey Fluttershy, would the stare work on walruses?
Fluttershy: I assume it would. But I’ve never cared for a walrus, let alone used it on one.
No_M: Yeah... I’m just wondering why this story you didn’t try to use the stare on it when it tried to get you in the cage, or even once it had you in the cage.
Fine, he then looks at the dashboard and says with a sigh, "That's the last time I buy my blueprints from a couple of smooth-talking salesponies"
Pinkie: The Flim Flam brothers strike again!
Pinkie and Derpy manage to get Fluttershy off the suspending bar before the machine exploded. After taking down the last griffin, Goldie rushed over to the cage and used her magic to unlock it.
"Thank you, everypony," Fluttershy said exiting the cage, "I was so scared!"
Pinkie walked up to her and asked "What was that all about? How did you get captured like that?"
Flashing back to the point Pinkie dove in after Blubberton, Fluttershy explained
"After you went after the walrus, Big Catch came back to the lake's shore. He whistled, then a mean-looking pegasus with three scratch marks on the left side of his flank and a whole pride of griffins
Fallen: Would a group of griffons really be called a pride? As opposed to a flock, or some avian-related word?
show up attempting to capture everypony. Everyone else managed to get away thanks to Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but Rarity and I weren't so lucky. That's the last thing I remembered before they put me to sleep. The next thing I knew, I woke up in that cage"
No_M: Okay... so that explains how they got her in the cage. I guess it makes sense... somehow...
Fallen: This thing and sense don’t even exist within the same plane of reality.
Just then, the aforementioned pegasus shows up with an army of griffins. One of them appear to be Gilda.
End of Part 3...Very good, we've managed to get through one with minimal interruptions.
Fallen: No, this was interrupted far too often. And speaking of interruptions, I need to sit down again after this.
Pinkie: Why do we keep stopping the MST? We’re almost done!
Fallen: Everything about this fic bothers me severely. I can’t take doing this in one sitting. Plus, this chapter was longer than either of the others before it, which means there was MORE bullshit to put up with.
No_M: Everything about this story hurts...
Fallen: I’d take Prayer Ponies over this. At least that was entertaining in its unholy retardation. This is just... a really BAD kind of bad.
Fluttershy: There’s a good kind of bad?
Fallen: You’re damn right there is, and No_M and I are no strangers to it.
No_M: Ehehe, The Room was the most beautiful type of bad.
Pinkie: OOH! I think I’ve heard of that one! That’s the one with the guy with the silly accent whose fiance cheated on him, right? I LOVE that one!
Fallen: Of course you do.
Fluttershy: Wait, what makes it a good kind of bad?
Fallen: EVERYTHING. The story’s pathetic, the characters are barely characters, and the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious.
Fluttershy: And ponies - I mean... people watch this kind of thing?
Fallen: Eat it right up. That’s a factor in my enjoyment of riffing: my love of the so-bad-it’s-good.
Fluttershy: You mean you LIKE-
Fallen: I’ve been over this. Yes, I actually like doing this. It feels a bit less like obligation and more like recreation.
Pinkie: Yeah! It’s like a fun little activity!
Fluttershy: It’s not very fun for me...
Fallen: You’ll live. We always do.
Pinkie: This isn’t even the best MST-able story I have. You should see what I’ve got for you next time!
Fallen: Should I be scared?
Pinkie: Terrified! You’ll be in for a whole BUNCH of-
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: Everything about this fic bothers me severely. I can’t take doing this in one sitting. Plus, this chapter was longer than either of the others before it, which means there was MORE bullshit to put up with.
No_M: Everything about this story hurts...
Fallen: I’d take Prayer Ponies over this. At least that was entertaining in its unholy retardation. This is just... a really BAD kind of bad.
Fluttershy: There’s a good kind of bad?
Fallen: You’re damn right there is, and No_M and I are no strangers to it.
No_M: Ehehe, The Room was the most beautiful type of bad.
Pinkie: OOH! I think I’ve heard of that one! That’s the one with the guy with the silly accent whose fiance cheated on him, right? I LOVE that one!
Fallen: Of course you do.
Fluttershy: Wait, what makes it a good kind of bad?
Fallen: EVERYTHING. The story’s pathetic, the characters are barely characters, and the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious.
Fluttershy: And ponies - I mean... people watch this kind of thing?
Fallen: Eat it right up. That’s a factor in my enjoyment of riffing: my love of the so-bad-it’s-good.
Fluttershy: You mean you LIKE-
Fallen: I’ve been over this. Yes, I actually like doing this. It feels a bit less like obligation and more like recreation.
Pinkie: Yeah! It’s like a fun little activity!
Fluttershy: It’s not very fun for me...
Fallen: You’ll live. We always do.
Pinkie: This isn’t even the best MST-able story I have. You should see what I’ve got for you next time!
Fallen: Should I be scared?
Pinkie: Terrified! You’ll be in for a whole BUNCH of-
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
The Pegasus walks up to the group and introduces himself.
"My name is Scratch,
Fallen: Wait, Vinyl’s not a pegasus!
I believe you have trespassed on my territory" he said in a slightly menacing voice.
"You're the one who keeps beating up our warriors!" Paradise said after a deep, sharp gasp of air.
"Indeed I am," said Scratch.
"My husband warned me about you" Goldie added.
"What are you talking about?" asked Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: I think I agree with myself in the story. What are they talking about?
Sighing, Goldie replied "He's my uncle-in-law. His real name is Altostratus, he comes from the legendary Cloud Clan of Pegasi from Clopkick City".
"Gilda..." Pinkie said walking up to the army.
All: WHAT.
Gilda flies down to Pinkie and asks "What do YOU want, Stinky Pie?"
Pinkie took a moment and asked "I know you've been a big, grumpy, thieving, mean, meanie-pants bully since the last time we've met, but why are you with these guys? Is it because of all the pranks Rainbow Dash pulled off at the party I threw you back in Ponyville?"
An angry Gilda replied "No, this has nothing to do with you, OR Dash, it's about...Him...Father of...Her...
Fallen: Yeah, just admit you have no idea what you’re doing there.
My vengance shall be swift!"
No_M: Eh? What? That’s it. Good job story, I can feel my brain melting.
Quizically, Pinkie asks "What are you talking about?"
"That's a story for another time," replied Gilda holding up what appears to be a flyer and looking at what's on it, "For now, you've got bigger fish to fry..."
"RARITY!" cried Fluttershy, "What have you done with her?"
Fallen: Rape. Gotta be rape.
Pinkie: PRIMEY!
Scratch replied "Don't freat, my little pony, I'm sure wherever she is...She's having a KRAKEN good time!"
Paradise pondered this then said, "Oh no, there's a lake just at the foot of Mt. Gallopagos, a kraken lives there."
Fallen: MUST... RESIST... CLASH OF THE TITANS JOKE...
Goldie then continues, "Derpy, you and Fluttershy return to the village and warn the chief. Pinkie, go find your other friend. Paradise and I will hold off the army for as long as we can. GO!"
Fallen: My new headcanon is that Goldie is King Leonidas.
The group then splits up.
Meanwhile in Ponyville, things were no better. Griffins ran amuk through the streets,
Pinkie: Since when?
smashing stuff, disorganizing books in Twilight's library, annoying the Apple Family, eating Sugarcube Corner's inventory, pestering pegasi, and...Playing dress-up in Carousel Boutique? HEY, WHAT IS THS!? YOU TWO, GET BACK TO WORK!
RatherHomely: Hey, you know when I break the fourth wall I try to be clever and funny about it? Well, this person just likes breaking the fourth wall because they can.
"But we ARE working!"
"Yeah, we's messin' up the store!"
Fluttershy: I’m not sure wearing dresses is really messing anything up...
Pinkie: Of course it is! They were all hung up neatly, then these meanies put them on!
Fluttershy: Um... okay... if you say so...
Oh...Okay then...Sorry...Carry on. Yes, things looked bleak for the Ponyvillians...Let's go see what Twilight and the other half of the gang are up to...We find them sitting around a table with apple celler with the Apple Family.
"This is crazy, y'all!" AJ cried, "Them griffins are wreckin' the place!"
"Yeah," shuttered Spike, "And I'm worried about Rarity!"
Fallen: Why is she not with you? Oh right, that whole thing. I stopped paying attention once my sanity started making sizzling noises.
"I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE LIBRARY!" Shouted a distraught Twilight, "Just before we left, I re-shelved them! Do you know how long it takes to alphabetize books in an entire library!? Who know's what they're doing to my room? And on top of it, ALL I WANTED FROM THIS WHOLE THING WAS A NICE, QUIET CAMPING TRIP!" Spike slaps the hysterical unicorn.
Fallen: “Shut up, ho!”
"Thanks," she said, "I needed that".
Granny Smith stands up and says "Calm down, troops!"
Pinkie: Is she talking to the jam jars?
She walks over to the map behind Twilight. "This here's war! I know you're all frightened and morale is low at the moment, but we can beat 'em if we just keep it together!"
"But Granny," cried Apple Bloom, "They've thrown everything we've thrown at THEM back at US!"
Rainbow Dash after just getting done playing with a rock on the table adds "And the only pony with the right sense to griffin-proof her property is Fluttershy after Gilda's visit".
"YOU WANNA BE COURT-MARTIALED AGAIN!?" Shouted Granny Smith.
Pinkie: I rest my case.
Fallen: What case?
"For what" replied Dash, "Stating the obvius!?"
Big Macintosh seperates the two. After they both calmed down, Granny Smith continued, "The point is, we need a plan to get to Fluttershy's".
Dash then adds "I'll destract them while you guys make a run for it!" Everypony except Big Mac murmered in agreement.
Fallen: For the love of- “Obvious!” “Separates!” “Distract!” “Murmured!” LEARN ENGLISH!
"Nnope," Said Big Mac standing up, "It's too dangerous. They've probably hidden in the orchards waiting for us to come out. And they've got control of the skies over the town, so they would outnumber you. Our best bet is if we go underground"
Pinkie: That way, they’d only have to deal with the mole people!
After thinking about this, Apple Bloom claims "That's it!" as she runs over to a door to her left and opens it.
"What's this place?" Applejack asked.
"It's one of the tunnels Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and I have been working on weeks before you guys went off for your camping trip." AB replied, "We started with makin' a tunnel to Fluttershy's home from our tree house first, but then we had an idea."
No_M: And why on earth would you need a tunnel from your treehouse to Fluttershy’s?
Fallen: Plot contrivance.
Sweetie Belle pops out of the side of the door holding a shovel, wearing a miner hat and continues, "To make a NETWORK of them around Ponyville!"
Fallen: With no regard for the stability of the ground above them, no doubt.
Scootaloo pops out of the other side of the door with a pick also wearing a miner hat asking "Is it lunch time yet?" before noticing everyone then asks "What's going on?"
"So THAT'S where our diggin' tools went!" Said Granny Smith.
"And why the jackhammer's broken!" Big Mac added.
Pinkie: “And why the ground caved in underneath the Carousel Boutique!”
Applejack then informs her "Normally, y'all would get in a heap of trouble for not tellin' anypony about something this, but given the circumstances, I'd say that you three couldn't have done this in a better time!"
Fluttershy: So... it would’ve been bad to do it last century?
The girls enter followed by Spike, Granny Smith and Big Mac leaving the Cutie Mark Crusaders behind.
Scootaloo says "Seriously, I'm hungry and totally out of the loop!"
"Yeah Apple Bloom, what's going on?" Sweetie Belle asks.
Fallen: Um... griffon invasion? Does that ring any bells?
"I'll explain on the way to Fluttershy's, come on!" Apple Bloom replied as she entered the tunnel.
Moments in, the group notices a few signs poninting to where the paths lead.
"Not much longer now" said Scootaloo.
Twilight notices one of the signs reads Jungle. "We don't have a jungle near Ponyville!" she pointed out.
Apple Bloom replied "This is where the jackhammer broke. We got carried away and accidentally made a tunnel that leads to a mountain in a random jungle"
Fluttershy: How far did they tunnel, exactly?
A few moments later, they make it to Fluttershy's. Just as they did, the griffins are seen with their backs turned at Twilight and Co. quivering in frear at something they're looking at.
"It's them!" one griffin said.
"The Half-Breed
Fallen: ...who? I’m so lost.
and...HER!" replied another.
From a distance, two silhouettes are seen. One seems to be of a griffin with the tail of a manticore and the other of a winged unicorn about the size and body build of a regular run-of-the-mill female pony. As Angel Bunny is see twirling a pen and stopping it to blow on the tip, the winged unicorn casts a spell that zaps all the surrounding griffins scaring every last one out of Ponyville and it's establishments. The two then fly away...Let's see what Pinkie's up to!
Fallen: YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT!
Pinkie raced the trail she can see to Mt. Gallopagos. Once she got there, she saw Rarity dressed in a feathery safari outfit tied by all four legs to two posts in front of the lake. When Pinkie reached the fancy unicorn, she came to.
Fluttershy: Is this just a bad dream for her? I think it would be nice if none of this really happened...
"Ugh, where am I?" she asked. Just then, the kraken shows up roaring. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Screeched Rarity...ouch...
Pinkie then setps up to the beast. "NO! BAD OCTOPUS THINGIE!" she cried, "GO AWAY!"
The kraken then roars and grabs both Ponyvillians with his tentacles. As the two struggle to get free, Clam Clop returns and slaps the kraken with his fin until it collapses to the lake floor letting the girls go. Clam catches them in time and lands them on the other side of the lake.
No_M: What even just happened here?
Fallen: Nothing. And yet... everything.
"Are you two alright?" he asked.
"Oh, why...Yes" Rarity said in a voice as if she were in awe of the Merpony.
"Thanks again, Clam" Pinkie said.
"Anytime, Pinkie" replied Clam,
Fallen: USE! PERIODS! AFTER! DIALOGUE!
"Until we meet again!"
As Clam dives into the lake, Rarity turns to Pinks and asks "Pinkie, what have you been up to?"
OH FOR PETE SAKE, NOT AGAIN! As Pinkie was about to say ANYTHING, Zecora pops up from a wooden trapdoor by the two and notices the mountain.
Fluttershy: Why did she just come out of nowhere?
Fallen: Is your job here just to question the story?
Fluttershy: I’m sorry...
"By my eyes it is so close, is that Mt. Gallopagos?" the zebra asked. Pinkie and Rarity notice her.
"Hi, Zecora!" Pinkie said.
Noticing them, Zecora says "A question I ask you Pinkie, are there pictures that you see?"
"Pictures?" Rarity asked.
Pinkie: She took them after her last vacation!
Pinkie tells Zecora "You mean the pictures of my Cutie Mark on the ground? Yeah, I see them"
Rarity again asks "What pictures?"
Zecora then replies "There is no time, we cannot stop, we must get up to the top! As we climb, I shall explain, for now, we must prevent more pain"
Fallen: Well, at least her rhymes are better written than even most GOOD stories I’ve seen.
The three run up the mountain. "So what's going on?" Rarity asks Zecora.
Zecora replied "Long ago it has been said, an event full of wonder and dread, is soon to come and run it's course, for twelve to make one, you must enforce, for without the Elements of Harmony, all will end in catastrophy"
Rarity ponders what she just said and asks, "And where do these pictures of Pinkie's Cutie Mark come in?"
All: PLEASE EXPLAIN.
Zecora then says "The one who bares the three tailed orbs, this knowlege you must both absorb, she must go and find the key, to activate the Fragment of Harmony"
"Still not getting it, darling" Rarity said.
No_M: It’s okay, Rarity. None of us get it either.
When they get to the top they find a badly beaten Scratch at the mouth of what is revealed to be a volcano.
"You're too late," he said, "The sun is in the right position, my path to great power shall soon be realized"
Fallen: What the fuck does that even MEAN?
He then jumps into the volcano without another word.
Fluttershy: Why would he do that!?
"Blast that pony and his crime! We must return another time. For soon here shall spawn a monster..." As Pinkie and Rarity make their way down, Rarity claims
"I'm so confused, what just happened?" Pinkie answered "I'll explain on the way to the village"
Fallen: So... was something supposed to have been resolved?
Zecora then looks up to a rainbow-colored cloud saying "...The Great Gathering shall soon occur..." before heading down...Hey Pinkie, you wanna take the last paragraph? You've earned it!
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
Okay, just come on out, I gotta go drain the lizzard.
Fallen: No one wants to hear about you taking a piss.
So after we got back to the village, I was congradulated with a party, my friends were all there're, we had cake, balloons and sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla and *BLAM!*
Pinkie: Party cannon! Never leave Sugarcube Corner without it!
dklioekuowincnjzalijjDai;oejncZji;ao'pMBNAIWNJKFJFKsdjkadlueilncbhbnjkfjasNcvlshshvoijskdncvbfhsiauiowjlkaoilkjsdfhguewjiodksfjvfhujiofdkjlkacnskbdvdfhfoihdjgaof;ijklnsdjbhafijokldjsvbgawoejfklanxdvjfhfjoidkmlanSvnbdfhaueeijkdlnasmfnhjieodKLNSAFJVFHSGJIOEDKLAKSNFBJFHPUERIOJ;Kllakjshuoapnvbsaopdi;kngoai;jksffgmsblnvmaeadfjioosgijdfpkospisloewkriuejowergsrewofiojsgt9srewsdokifglodskvjbgfdowsldkvjbfieiowdkfjfxdwqopdsklfvgfdsodklvjbieiowsdkjilsdokladfwoksadfj8aohunklmASDFBCNOIlasjdhejnwklAJHDCPIOJENFKLDSVDAUJKLAFDSHlka;sjionsvzlkjkjvpoalopJM;KLSDMNA;klsdfnds a;isdlmdnajifsdklndfaoifj;skdlngajpifo;eksdlgoiejaksdliohugytfdycfrtiuyhtfrd5r67tguytr6t7yguvcfrttygtdre6tygfvtdre6tytdres5rftdresrtygfdrtyguhftdr6rt7yguftdrtyguftdrtyguhftdrtyguft6ygftrtygfttygufttyugfttygfiaipoj;kslfnsajpo'kdl;mvfnaojpw'kdlm;s,nffsoakm,lnlfdjaiookd;lsm,dnvfjo;aklsdm,lnkjf;klasdakkffoklSDFAAJdklioekuowincnjzalijjDai;oejncZji;ao'pMBNAIWNJKFJFKsdjkadlueilncbhbnjkfjasNcvlshshvoijskdncvbfhsiauiowjlkaoilkjsdfhguewjiodksfjvfhujiofdkjlkacnskbdvdfhfoihdjgaof;ijklnsdjbhafijokldjsvbgawoejfklanxdvjfhfjoidkmlanSvnbdfhaueeijkdlnasmfnhjieodKLNSAFJVFHSGJIOEDKLAKSNFBJFHPUERIOJ;Kllakjshuoapnvbsaopdi;kngoai;jksffgmsblnvmaeadfjioosgijdfpkospisloewkriuejowergsrewofiojsgt9srewsdokifglodskvjbgfdowsldkvjbfieiowdkfjfxdwqopdsklfvgfdsodklvjbieiowsdkjilsdokladfwoksadfj8aohunklmASDFBCNOIlasjdhejnwklAJHDCPIOJENFKLDSVDAUJKLAFDSHlka;sjionsvzlkjkjvpoalopJM;KLSDMNA;klsdfnds a;isdlmdnajifsdklndfaoifj;skdlngajpifo;eksdlgoiejaksdliohugytfdycfrtiuyhtfrd5r67tguytr6t7yguvcfrttygtdre6tygfvtdre6tytdres5rftdresrtygfdrtyguhftdr6rt7yguftdrtyguftdrtyguhftdrtyguft6ygftrtygfttygufttyugfttygfiaipoj;kslfnsajpo'kdl;mvfnaojpw'kdlm;s,nffsoakm,lnlfdjaiookd;lsm,dnvfjo;aklsdm,lnkjf;klasdakkffoklSDFAAJ
No_M: This is what my brain is doing right now. Nothing but relentless keymashing.
Fallen: “Computer over? Virus equals very yes? That’s not a good prize!”
"Um...Mr. NoName, come back, I think I broke the paragraph!"
What? Oh just great, don't worry, I'll fix it...
"I can do it, I can do it TWELVE times!"
Fallen: Really. It beat me to the Homestar Runner reference.
What? Wait- no, NO TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*BOOOM!*
Pinkie: HAPPY END!
Fallen: So that’s how the story ends. Not with a whimper, but with a LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
"My name is Scratch,
Fallen: Wait, Vinyl’s not a pegasus!
I believe you have trespassed on my territory" he said in a slightly menacing voice.
"You're the one who keeps beating up our warriors!" Paradise said after a deep, sharp gasp of air.
"Indeed I am," said Scratch.
"My husband warned me about you" Goldie added.
"What are you talking about?" asked Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: I think I agree with myself in the story. What are they talking about?
Sighing, Goldie replied "He's my uncle-in-law. His real name is Altostratus, he comes from the legendary Cloud Clan of Pegasi from Clopkick City".
"Gilda..." Pinkie said walking up to the army.
All: WHAT.
Gilda flies down to Pinkie and asks "What do YOU want, Stinky Pie?"
Pinkie took a moment and asked "I know you've been a big, grumpy, thieving, mean, meanie-pants bully since the last time we've met, but why are you with these guys? Is it because of all the pranks Rainbow Dash pulled off at the party I threw you back in Ponyville?"
An angry Gilda replied "No, this has nothing to do with you, OR Dash, it's about...Him...Father of...Her...
Fallen: Yeah, just admit you have no idea what you’re doing there.
My vengance shall be swift!"
No_M: Eh? What? That’s it. Good job story, I can feel my brain melting.
Quizically, Pinkie asks "What are you talking about?"
"That's a story for another time," replied Gilda holding up what appears to be a flyer and looking at what's on it, "For now, you've got bigger fish to fry..."
"RARITY!" cried Fluttershy, "What have you done with her?"
Fallen: Rape. Gotta be rape.
Pinkie: PRIMEY!
Scratch replied "Don't freat, my little pony, I'm sure wherever she is...She's having a KRAKEN good time!"
Paradise pondered this then said, "Oh no, there's a lake just at the foot of Mt. Gallopagos, a kraken lives there."
Fallen: MUST... RESIST... CLASH OF THE TITANS JOKE...
Goldie then continues, "Derpy, you and Fluttershy return to the village and warn the chief. Pinkie, go find your other friend. Paradise and I will hold off the army for as long as we can. GO!"
Fallen: My new headcanon is that Goldie is King Leonidas.
The group then splits up.
Meanwhile in Ponyville, things were no better. Griffins ran amuk through the streets,
Pinkie: Since when?
smashing stuff, disorganizing books in Twilight's library, annoying the Apple Family, eating Sugarcube Corner's inventory, pestering pegasi, and...Playing dress-up in Carousel Boutique? HEY, WHAT IS THS!? YOU TWO, GET BACK TO WORK!
RatherHomely: Hey, you know when I break the fourth wall I try to be clever and funny about it? Well, this person just likes breaking the fourth wall because they can.
"But we ARE working!"
"Yeah, we's messin' up the store!"
Fluttershy: I’m not sure wearing dresses is really messing anything up...
Pinkie: Of course it is! They were all hung up neatly, then these meanies put them on!
Fluttershy: Um... okay... if you say so...
Oh...Okay then...Sorry...Carry on. Yes, things looked bleak for the Ponyvillians...Let's go see what Twilight and the other half of the gang are up to...We find them sitting around a table with apple celler with the Apple Family.
"This is crazy, y'all!" AJ cried, "Them griffins are wreckin' the place!"
"Yeah," shuttered Spike, "And I'm worried about Rarity!"
Fallen: Why is she not with you? Oh right, that whole thing. I stopped paying attention once my sanity started making sizzling noises.
"I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE LIBRARY!" Shouted a distraught Twilight, "Just before we left, I re-shelved them! Do you know how long it takes to alphabetize books in an entire library!? Who know's what they're doing to my room? And on top of it, ALL I WANTED FROM THIS WHOLE THING WAS A NICE, QUIET CAMPING TRIP!" Spike slaps the hysterical unicorn.
Fallen: “Shut up, ho!”
"Thanks," she said, "I needed that".
Granny Smith stands up and says "Calm down, troops!"
Pinkie: Is she talking to the jam jars?
She walks over to the map behind Twilight. "This here's war! I know you're all frightened and morale is low at the moment, but we can beat 'em if we just keep it together!"
"But Granny," cried Apple Bloom, "They've thrown everything we've thrown at THEM back at US!"
Rainbow Dash after just getting done playing with a rock on the table adds "And the only pony with the right sense to griffin-proof her property is Fluttershy after Gilda's visit".
"YOU WANNA BE COURT-MARTIALED AGAIN!?" Shouted Granny Smith.
Pinkie: I rest my case.
Fallen: What case?
"For what" replied Dash, "Stating the obvius!?"
Big Macintosh seperates the two. After they both calmed down, Granny Smith continued, "The point is, we need a plan to get to Fluttershy's".
Dash then adds "I'll destract them while you guys make a run for it!" Everypony except Big Mac murmered in agreement.
Fallen: For the love of- “Obvious!” “Separates!” “Distract!” “Murmured!” LEARN ENGLISH!
"Nnope," Said Big Mac standing up, "It's too dangerous. They've probably hidden in the orchards waiting for us to come out. And they've got control of the skies over the town, so they would outnumber you. Our best bet is if we go underground"
Pinkie: That way, they’d only have to deal with the mole people!
After thinking about this, Apple Bloom claims "That's it!" as she runs over to a door to her left and opens it.
"What's this place?" Applejack asked.
"It's one of the tunnels Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and I have been working on weeks before you guys went off for your camping trip." AB replied, "We started with makin' a tunnel to Fluttershy's home from our tree house first, but then we had an idea."
No_M: And why on earth would you need a tunnel from your treehouse to Fluttershy’s?
Fallen: Plot contrivance.
Sweetie Belle pops out of the side of the door holding a shovel, wearing a miner hat and continues, "To make a NETWORK of them around Ponyville!"
Fallen: With no regard for the stability of the ground above them, no doubt.
Scootaloo pops out of the other side of the door with a pick also wearing a miner hat asking "Is it lunch time yet?" before noticing everyone then asks "What's going on?"
"So THAT'S where our diggin' tools went!" Said Granny Smith.
"And why the jackhammer's broken!" Big Mac added.
Pinkie: “And why the ground caved in underneath the Carousel Boutique!”
Applejack then informs her "Normally, y'all would get in a heap of trouble for not tellin' anypony about something this, but given the circumstances, I'd say that you three couldn't have done this in a better time!"
Fluttershy: So... it would’ve been bad to do it last century?
The girls enter followed by Spike, Granny Smith and Big Mac leaving the Cutie Mark Crusaders behind.
Scootaloo says "Seriously, I'm hungry and totally out of the loop!"
"Yeah Apple Bloom, what's going on?" Sweetie Belle asks.
Fallen: Um... griffon invasion? Does that ring any bells?
"I'll explain on the way to Fluttershy's, come on!" Apple Bloom replied as she entered the tunnel.
Moments in, the group notices a few signs poninting to where the paths lead.
"Not much longer now" said Scootaloo.
Twilight notices one of the signs reads Jungle. "We don't have a jungle near Ponyville!" she pointed out.
Apple Bloom replied "This is where the jackhammer broke. We got carried away and accidentally made a tunnel that leads to a mountain in a random jungle"
Fluttershy: How far did they tunnel, exactly?
A few moments later, they make it to Fluttershy's. Just as they did, the griffins are seen with their backs turned at Twilight and Co. quivering in frear at something they're looking at.
"It's them!" one griffin said.
"The Half-Breed
Fallen: ...who? I’m so lost.
and...HER!" replied another.
From a distance, two silhouettes are seen. One seems to be of a griffin with the tail of a manticore and the other of a winged unicorn about the size and body build of a regular run-of-the-mill female pony. As Angel Bunny is see twirling a pen and stopping it to blow on the tip, the winged unicorn casts a spell that zaps all the surrounding griffins scaring every last one out of Ponyville and it's establishments. The two then fly away...Let's see what Pinkie's up to!
Fallen: YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT!
Pinkie raced the trail she can see to Mt. Gallopagos. Once she got there, she saw Rarity dressed in a feathery safari outfit tied by all four legs to two posts in front of the lake. When Pinkie reached the fancy unicorn, she came to.
Fluttershy: Is this just a bad dream for her? I think it would be nice if none of this really happened...
"Ugh, where am I?" she asked. Just then, the kraken shows up roaring. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Screeched Rarity...ouch...
Pinkie then setps up to the beast. "NO! BAD OCTOPUS THINGIE!" she cried, "GO AWAY!"
The kraken then roars and grabs both Ponyvillians with his tentacles. As the two struggle to get free, Clam Clop returns and slaps the kraken with his fin until it collapses to the lake floor letting the girls go. Clam catches them in time and lands them on the other side of the lake.
No_M: What even just happened here?
Fallen: Nothing. And yet... everything.
"Are you two alright?" he asked.
"Oh, why...Yes" Rarity said in a voice as if she were in awe of the Merpony.
"Thanks again, Clam" Pinkie said.
"Anytime, Pinkie" replied Clam,
Fallen: USE! PERIODS! AFTER! DIALOGUE!
"Until we meet again!"
As Clam dives into the lake, Rarity turns to Pinks and asks "Pinkie, what have you been up to?"
OH FOR PETE SAKE, NOT AGAIN! As Pinkie was about to say ANYTHING, Zecora pops up from a wooden trapdoor by the two and notices the mountain.
Fluttershy: Why did she just come out of nowhere?
Fallen: Is your job here just to question the story?
Fluttershy: I’m sorry...
"By my eyes it is so close, is that Mt. Gallopagos?" the zebra asked. Pinkie and Rarity notice her.
"Hi, Zecora!" Pinkie said.
Noticing them, Zecora says "A question I ask you Pinkie, are there pictures that you see?"
"Pictures?" Rarity asked.
Pinkie: She took them after her last vacation!
Pinkie tells Zecora "You mean the pictures of my Cutie Mark on the ground? Yeah, I see them"
Rarity again asks "What pictures?"
Zecora then replies "There is no time, we cannot stop, we must get up to the top! As we climb, I shall explain, for now, we must prevent more pain"
Fallen: Well, at least her rhymes are better written than even most GOOD stories I’ve seen.
The three run up the mountain. "So what's going on?" Rarity asks Zecora.
Zecora replied "Long ago it has been said, an event full of wonder and dread, is soon to come and run it's course, for twelve to make one, you must enforce, for without the Elements of Harmony, all will end in catastrophy"
Rarity ponders what she just said and asks, "And where do these pictures of Pinkie's Cutie Mark come in?"
All: PLEASE EXPLAIN.
Zecora then says "The one who bares the three tailed orbs, this knowlege you must both absorb, she must go and find the key, to activate the Fragment of Harmony"
"Still not getting it, darling" Rarity said.
No_M: It’s okay, Rarity. None of us get it either.
When they get to the top they find a badly beaten Scratch at the mouth of what is revealed to be a volcano.
"You're too late," he said, "The sun is in the right position, my path to great power shall soon be realized"
Fallen: What the fuck does that even MEAN?
He then jumps into the volcano without another word.
Fluttershy: Why would he do that!?
"Blast that pony and his crime! We must return another time. For soon here shall spawn a monster..." As Pinkie and Rarity make their way down, Rarity claims
"I'm so confused, what just happened?" Pinkie answered "I'll explain on the way to the village"
Fallen: So... was something supposed to have been resolved?
Zecora then looks up to a rainbow-colored cloud saying "...The Great Gathering shall soon occur..." before heading down...Hey Pinkie, you wanna take the last paragraph? You've earned it!
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
Okay, just come on out, I gotta go drain the lizzard.
Fallen: No one wants to hear about you taking a piss.
So after we got back to the village, I was congradulated with a party, my friends were all there're, we had cake, balloons and sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla and *BLAM!*
Pinkie: Party cannon! Never leave Sugarcube Corner without it!
dklioekuowincnjzalijjDai;oejncZji;ao'pMBNAIWNJKFJFKsdjkadlueilncbhbnjkfjasNcvlshshvoijskdncvbfhsiauiowjlkaoilkjsdfhguewjiodksfjvfhujiofdkjlkacnskbdvdfhfoihdjgaof;ijklnsdjbhafijokldjsvbgawoejfklanxdvjfhfjoidkmlanSvnbdfhaueeijkdlnasmfnhjieodKLNSAFJVFHSGJIOEDKLAKSNFBJFHPUERIOJ;Kllakjshuoapnvbsaopdi;kngoai;jksffgmsblnvmaeadfjioosgijdfpkospisloewkriuejowergsrewofiojsgt9srewsdokifglodskvjbgfdowsldkvjbfieiowdkfjfxdwqopdsklfvgfdsodklvjbieiowsdkjilsdokladfwoksadfj8aohunklmASDFBCNOIlasjdhejnwklAJHDCPIOJENFKLDSVDAUJKLAFDSHlka;sjionsvzlkjkjvpoalopJM;KLSDMNA;klsdfnds a;isdlmdnajifsdklndfaoifj;skdlngajpifo;eksdlgoiejaksdliohugytfdycfrtiuyhtfrd5r67tguytr6t7yguvcfrttygtdre6tygfvtdre6tytdres5rftdresrtygfdrtyguhftdr6rt7yguftdrtyguftdrtyguhftdrtyguft6ygftrtygfttygufttyugfttygfiaipoj;kslfnsajpo'kdl;mvfnaojpw'kdlm;s,nffsoakm,lnlfdjaiookd;lsm,dnvfjo;aklsdm,lnkjf;klasdakkffoklSDFAAJdklioekuowincnjzalijjDai;oejncZji;ao'pMBNAIWNJKFJFKsdjkadlueilncbhbnjkfjasNcvlshshvoijskdncvbfhsiauiowjlkaoilkjsdfhguewjiodksfjvfhujiofdkjlkacnskbdvdfhfoihdjgaof;ijklnsdjbhafijokldjsvbgawoejfklanxdvjfhfjoidkmlanSvnbdfhaueeijkdlnasmfnhjieodKLNSAFJVFHSGJIOEDKLAKSNFBJFHPUERIOJ;Kllakjshuoapnvbsaopdi;kngoai;jksffgmsblnvmaeadfjioosgijdfpkospisloewkriuejowergsrewofiojsgt9srewsdokifglodskvjbgfdowsldkvjbfieiowdkfjfxdwqopdsklfvgfdsodklvjbieiowsdkjilsdokladfwoksadfj8aohunklmASDFBCNOIlasjdhejnwklAJHDCPIOJENFKLDSVDAUJKLAFDSHlka;sjionsvzlkjkjvpoalopJM;KLSDMNA;klsdfnds a;isdlmdnajifsdklndfaoifj;skdlngajpifo;eksdlgoiejaksdliohugytfdycfrtiuyhtfrd5r67tguytr6t7yguvcfrttygtdre6tygfvtdre6tytdres5rftdresrtygfdrtyguhftdr6rt7yguftdrtyguftdrtyguhftdrtyguft6ygftrtygfttygufttyugfttygfiaipoj;kslfnsajpo'kdl;mvfnaojpw'kdlm;s,nffsoakm,lnlfdjaiookd;lsm,dnvfjo;aklsdm,lnkjf;klasdakkffoklSDFAAJ
No_M: This is what my brain is doing right now. Nothing but relentless keymashing.
Fallen: “Computer over? Virus equals very yes? That’s not a good prize!”
"Um...Mr. NoName, come back, I think I broke the paragraph!"
What? Oh just great, don't worry, I'll fix it...
"I can do it, I can do it TWELVE times!"
Fallen: Really. It beat me to the Homestar Runner reference.
What? Wait- no, NO TWELVE-TIMES-A-DAY MAN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*BOOOM!*
Pinkie: HAPPY END!
Fallen: So that’s how the story ends. Not with a whimper, but with a LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
Fallen: What. Is even. The fuck.
Pinkie: That was so exciting! How’d you like it, Nocty?
No_M: Of all the godawful stories I could’ve gotten trapped in here for, it had to be THIS unholy mess... You read these for fun... My god do I worry about you...
Fluttershy: Well... it was better than the last one I was here for. I mean, this story didn’t try to break my sanity... or have me kill animals...
Pinkie: Yeah, you weren’t in this one a lot! Wonder why.
Fluttershy: I don’t mind, really. Actually, I think I’m thankful.
Fallen: Yeah, I can’t imagine what would have been in store for a beacon of adorability like you.
Fluttershy: You... you think I’m... adorable? (squeak)
Fallen: Awwwwwwww...
Dash: (from TV) Ugh. It’s starting to get sappy in here, so I’m just gonna end this. Vinyl, push the button!
Vinyl: (from TV) Got it! Uh... which button?
Dash: The blue one.
Vinyl: There are twenty blue ones!
Dash: Take those things off, they’re probably screwing with your color vision.
Vinyl: (removes goggles) Now there are THIRTY of them!
Dash: I never said it’d help you to take ‘em off.
Fallen: Uh...
Dash: Oh, yeah, right. You guys are still there. Uh... Pinkie, you can let them out, can’t you?
Pinkie: Sure!
(Pinkie pulls a remote control from her mane and pushes a button, unlocking the doors.)
Fallen: (exiting the room) Good. I need some fresh air.
Dash: Okay, seriously, THE BUTTON!
Vinyl: WHICH BUCKING BUTTON?
Dash: THIS ONE!
(Dash violently slams the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
Pinkie: That was so exciting! How’d you like it, Nocty?
No_M: Of all the godawful stories I could’ve gotten trapped in here for, it had to be THIS unholy mess... You read these for fun... My god do I worry about you...
Fluttershy: Well... it was better than the last one I was here for. I mean, this story didn’t try to break my sanity... or have me kill animals...
Pinkie: Yeah, you weren’t in this one a lot! Wonder why.
Fluttershy: I don’t mind, really. Actually, I think I’m thankful.
Fallen: Yeah, I can’t imagine what would have been in store for a beacon of adorability like you.
Fluttershy: You... you think I’m... adorable? (squeak)
Fallen: Awwwwwwww...
Dash: (from TV) Ugh. It’s starting to get sappy in here, so I’m just gonna end this. Vinyl, push the button!
Vinyl: (from TV) Got it! Uh... which button?
Dash: The blue one.
Vinyl: There are twenty blue ones!
Dash: Take those things off, they’re probably screwing with your color vision.
Vinyl: (removes goggles) Now there are THIRTY of them!
Dash: I never said it’d help you to take ‘em off.
Fallen: Uh...
Dash: Oh, yeah, right. You guys are still there. Uh... Pinkie, you can let them out, can’t you?
Pinkie: Sure!
(Pinkie pulls a remote control from her mane and pushes a button, unlocking the doors.)
Fallen: (exiting the room) Good. I need some fresh air.
Dash: Okay, seriously, THE BUTTON!
Vinyl: WHICH BUCKING BUTTON?
Dash: THIS ONE!
(Dash violently slams the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
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