FP Riffs 6: Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma and Rainbow Dash 's Confession
Hey, everypeoples! Guess who’s back!
...no, not Eminem. GOD, that was a dated guess. No, it’s Fallen Prime, your lord and riffmaster! Today’s riff is special for two very distinct reasons. The first is that it’s co-run by my pal KillJoy, author of the ongoing story “Three of Me,” which I’m co-writing/proofreading. The second reason has everything to do with the featured riffbait author, FelixDawn. AKA the son of a bitch who gives a big FUCK YOU to anyone who tries to get him to fix his incoherent grammar and deletes comments that try to give him constructive criticism because everyone notices the exact same glaring problem and he thinks it’s spam because he’s that fucking stubborn and GAAAAAAAH! RingmasterJ5 and I have a minor history with this buttmunch, and we’ve screencapped and saved an entire conversation that no longer exists on another of his stories. Right now, we have FelixDawn’s only two finished stories, “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma” and “Rainbow Dash ’s Confession” (sic). Your anuses will never be prepared enough for the incoming grammar shitstorm, I promise you that.
...no, not Eminem. GOD, that was a dated guess. No, it’s Fallen Prime, your lord and riffmaster! Today’s riff is special for two very distinct reasons. The first is that it’s co-run by my pal KillJoy, author of the ongoing story “Three of Me,” which I’m co-writing/proofreading. The second reason has everything to do with the featured riffbait author, FelixDawn. AKA the son of a bitch who gives a big FUCK YOU to anyone who tries to get him to fix his incoherent grammar and deletes comments that try to give him constructive criticism because everyone notices the exact same glaring problem and he thinks it’s spam because he’s that fucking stubborn and GAAAAAAAH! RingmasterJ5 and I have a minor history with this buttmunch, and we’ve screencapped and saved an entire conversation that no longer exists on another of his stories. Right now, we have FelixDawn’s only two finished stories, “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma” and “Rainbow Dash ’s Confession” (sic). Your anuses will never be prepared enough for the incoming grammar shitstorm, I promise you that.
Fallen Prime: Ugh... ten stories in a fucking row. But at least I had my six... casual begrudging acquaintances with me to tough through them. Most of them were short, and I enjoyed the company of those present. At least it wasn’t a bunch of people from a BEHEMOTH of a story that I DESPISE-
Joy: Who did you have in mind?
Fallen: I have no idea. Um... I don’t think we’ve met.
Joy: We haven’t.
Fallen: Odd, though, because you seem familiar. Like I know you... from... something...
Kill: Oi! Who is this wanker, and what the fuck am I doing in this hell hole?!
Fallen: Oh, fuck no. FUCK NO. You’re Razor Graze’s consciences from “Three of Me: School Society!” How did you find me? How did you get here? How do you exist!?
Joy: Hello to you too. And technically we’re just from “Three of Me.”
Fallen: Oh. Well, that’s not as bad. Now actually ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.
Kill: Because (clears throat) because... because we... because shut up.
Fallen: Probably as good an answer as I’m gonna get. Why do I EVER expect straight answers from these ponies...
Joy: Oh, he’s just being difficult...and also, you need to update your virus scans... cookies and whatnot. Hmph, teenagers.
Fallen: What I do with my software is my own business. Point is, you’re trespassing and I’m not too fond of either of you. I have guns and weapons lining my goddamn walls. I want you out of my armory before-
(The armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: -before you get trapped with me for an MST. FUCK.
Joy: First of all, would you kindly try shooting us? I bet you twenty bits it won’t work.
Fallen: Right, manifestations from some other jackass’s mind. Forgot about that.
Pinkie Pie: (from TV) I TOLD you you’d be surprised, Primey! I brought Kill and Joy in to do a riff with you!
Fallen: I... refuse to question how.
Kill: Oooo! A riff? Is it like ranting? I love ranting! LET’S RANT!
Joy: I think it’s more ranting at something. Not just ranting aimlessly.
Fallen: The less obnoxious one is right.
Joy: We have names, you know.
Fallen: I’m sure you do. What are we doing this time?
Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Oh, you’re gonna love this one. Any of you heard of an author named FelixDawn?
Joy: Um... not that I know of.
Kill: Is he... like... I don’t know... is he... who the fuck is he? Never heard of him in my life.
Fallen: You fucking EVIL CREATURES.
Dash: Ooooooooh, we struck a nerve.
Kill: Teach me how to do that more! I like to see this! (pokes Fallen) Do it again. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Fallen: I’m ignoring you. I’ve got serious beef with this jackass. Pinkie, lay it on me!
Pinkie: Will do! You’ve got two of FelixDawn’s stories today, since they’re both so short! First up, “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma,” his first story!
Fallen: Oh god. That can only mean the quality I’ve already seen from his work is gonna drop to an infinite degree.
Joy: Sounds like you know what we’re in for. Would you care to explain?
Kill: Yeah, the title even looks a bit off. Shouldn’t there be a “The” somewhere around there? Like, The “something” Dilemma?
Fallen: We haven’t even STARTED and he’s going... well, nicer one-
Joy: My name is Joy.
Fallen: I know. Well, nicer one, this guy’s main failing is grammar and spelling. Everyone knows it, everyone tells him, and he tells them to fuck off every time. If you value the English language, you will weep.
Kill: Don’t worry, there must be a dustbin and toilet in this armory, right? Just dump the shit in there.
Fallen: You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Joy: Who did you have in mind?
Fallen: I have no idea. Um... I don’t think we’ve met.
Joy: We haven’t.
Fallen: Odd, though, because you seem familiar. Like I know you... from... something...
Kill: Oi! Who is this wanker, and what the fuck am I doing in this hell hole?!
Fallen: Oh, fuck no. FUCK NO. You’re Razor Graze’s consciences from “Three of Me: School Society!” How did you find me? How did you get here? How do you exist!?
Joy: Hello to you too. And technically we’re just from “Three of Me.”
Fallen: Oh. Well, that’s not as bad. Now actually ANSWER MY QUESTIONS.
Kill: Because (clears throat) because... because we... because shut up.
Fallen: Probably as good an answer as I’m gonna get. Why do I EVER expect straight answers from these ponies...
Joy: Oh, he’s just being difficult...and also, you need to update your virus scans... cookies and whatnot. Hmph, teenagers.
Fallen: What I do with my software is my own business. Point is, you’re trespassing and I’m not too fond of either of you. I have guns and weapons lining my goddamn walls. I want you out of my armory before-
(The armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: -before you get trapped with me for an MST. FUCK.
Joy: First of all, would you kindly try shooting us? I bet you twenty bits it won’t work.
Fallen: Right, manifestations from some other jackass’s mind. Forgot about that.
Pinkie Pie: (from TV) I TOLD you you’d be surprised, Primey! I brought Kill and Joy in to do a riff with you!
Fallen: I... refuse to question how.
Kill: Oooo! A riff? Is it like ranting? I love ranting! LET’S RANT!
Joy: I think it’s more ranting at something. Not just ranting aimlessly.
Fallen: The less obnoxious one is right.
Joy: We have names, you know.
Fallen: I’m sure you do. What are we doing this time?
Rainbow Dash: (from TV) Oh, you’re gonna love this one. Any of you heard of an author named FelixDawn?
Joy: Um... not that I know of.
Kill: Is he... like... I don’t know... is he... who the fuck is he? Never heard of him in my life.
Fallen: You fucking EVIL CREATURES.
Dash: Ooooooooh, we struck a nerve.
Kill: Teach me how to do that more! I like to see this! (pokes Fallen) Do it again. Do it. Do it. Do it.
Fallen: I’m ignoring you. I’ve got serious beef with this jackass. Pinkie, lay it on me!
Pinkie: Will do! You’ve got two of FelixDawn’s stories today, since they’re both so short! First up, “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma,” his first story!
Fallen: Oh god. That can only mean the quality I’ve already seen from his work is gonna drop to an infinite degree.
Joy: Sounds like you know what we’re in for. Would you care to explain?
Kill: Yeah, the title even looks a bit off. Shouldn’t there be a “The” somewhere around there? Like, The “something” Dilemma?
Fallen: We haven’t even STARTED and he’s going... well, nicer one-
Joy: My name is Joy.
Fallen: I know. Well, nicer one, this guy’s main failing is grammar and spelling. Everyone knows it, everyone tells him, and he tells them to fuck off every time. If you value the English language, you will weep.
Kill: Don’t worry, there must be a dustbin and toilet in this armory, right? Just dump the shit in there.
Fallen: You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Celestia sun was shining down on Ponyville, giving light for the residents.
While most of the ponyfolk were doing their own business, it was Rainbow Dash she heading towards at the Sweet Apple Acres.
Fallen: We’re off to a great start, folks!
Joy: THE Sweet Apple Acres?
Applejack bucking apples from the many trees that covered the farm.
Joy: I feel like this should have a Mature tag.
The orange mare, Applejack,
Fallen: Yes, thank you. We already established that this was Applejack.
took the bucket and placed it in the barn where many more buckets full of apples laid there scattered full. She decided to take a quick break and grabbed some apple juice to quench her thirst from the day work.
Fallen: I’ll give it one thing. It’s not doing the one-sentence-per-paragraph thing anymore.
"Sorry AJ I could not find them anywhere!" Said Rainbow Dash with a disappointing look.
"For real?" Ask Applejack.
Kill: For realz yo. Ah remember Applejack talkin’ a lil something like this, sugarcube.
Fallen: And yes, the paragraphs are double-spaced to make the story look longer than it is.
Rainbow Dash nodded. Applejack and Rainbow Dash spent the next few hours looking for Big Mac and the Cutie Mark Crusader but not sign of them.
Joy: Yep. Consciences can get aneurysms. That was fast.
Kill: Well, that escalated quickly.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were able to reach the tree house that is home to the CMC club and entered it. When they entered they see the place was deserted.
Fallen: The Crusaders were trying to escape the tense shift. They did an alright job so far.
"Applebloom?... Sweetie Belle?... Scootaloo?" Shoot Applejack, "Where'd they go?" Ask Applejack as she keep looking for the 3 fillies.
Kill: What... who... where... why would you do this? WHY?!
When Applejack was still looking for the girls, Rainbow Dash seen a class with a purple liquid that filled the glass and drink it.
Fallen: Yes, drink the purple liquid you seen in a class in the CMC club. What could go wrong?
The drink starts to work on her.
"Strangely enough, I can't fin Big Macintosh either." Said the farm pony Applejack a she walk back to Rainbow Dash side, "Are you aright, Rainbow?" She ask her friend with a concern.
Fallen: It’s only just started, and I’ve even seen this horror several times over... but I’m on the verge of just rage quitting.
Rainbow Dash under the effect of the drink turns her head to look Applejack then she smiles at her.
Joy: At least PICK a tense!
Applejack look with a confused expression, "Rainbow... Rainbow?" Applejack spot a open book and read it.
Kill: No, don’t help your friend out. I think I’d just read a book. Yeah. Legit.
Joy: It’s like a bad horror movie...
Applejack when she sees the image of love poison on the book and see that Rainbow Dash drink, when she roll the head of Rainbow Dash sees her face close, Applejack was confused until he saw the empty bottle of love poison potion on the table of CMC she looks Rainbow Dash.
Fallen: Let me get this straight: she sees the image in the book, notices Rainbow’s drunks, and rolls around. Rainbow’s head sees her, Applejack notices the bottle on a table made from the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ flesh, turns into a stallion, and takes the form of Rainbow Dash.
Kill: I think I’m gonna read that book so I can turn into a mare. Worked for Applejack.
Joy: Drinking and writing should be illegal.
"Uh no the love poison potion hit you!" Applejack said. Rainbow smiled at Applejack and moved forward.
Kill: …(opens mouth)... Never mind.
"You are the cutest mare I ever see!" Rainbow Dash said with a hearts
Fallen: Ew. A hearts. I dislike heartses.
Joy: Did she... she just used a Fatality!
in her eyes she wanted Applejack so bad
Kill: I think the sentence offed itself!
"Oh damn this can't end good it's be used on the princess and the prince now you're...in love with me? Oh my Celestia!"
Fallen: How has no one in the history of fanfiction looked at the phrase “oh my Celestia” and thought it looked completely stupid?
Applejack said as she move back away to the wall. As Rainbow Dash was about to make her move towards Applejack, the farm pony ran out of the CMC's club tree house.
"You can run but can't hide my little AppleKuu!" Rainbow Dash said. Rainbow gave chase Applejack.
Kill: Insta-anime! My little Fallenkuu!
Fallen: If you weren’t technically a figment of someone else’s imagination, I’d try to strangle you.
Joy: Honestly, you did TEN of these?! Like, ten of THESE?!
Fallen: Fourteen, actually, but I’ve done ten AT ONCE. And most of those were, if you can believe it, WORSE. And they’re STILL not the lowest forms of writing I’ve seen from this fandom. By the way, those 450 or so words were only the first chapter.
Kill: Sweet fuck...
While most of the ponyfolk were doing their own business, it was Rainbow Dash she heading towards at the Sweet Apple Acres.
Fallen: We’re off to a great start, folks!
Joy: THE Sweet Apple Acres?
Applejack bucking apples from the many trees that covered the farm.
Joy: I feel like this should have a Mature tag.
The orange mare, Applejack,
Fallen: Yes, thank you. We already established that this was Applejack.
took the bucket and placed it in the barn where many more buckets full of apples laid there scattered full. She decided to take a quick break and grabbed some apple juice to quench her thirst from the day work.
Fallen: I’ll give it one thing. It’s not doing the one-sentence-per-paragraph thing anymore.
"Sorry AJ I could not find them anywhere!" Said Rainbow Dash with a disappointing look.
"For real?" Ask Applejack.
Kill: For realz yo. Ah remember Applejack talkin’ a lil something like this, sugarcube.
Fallen: And yes, the paragraphs are double-spaced to make the story look longer than it is.
Rainbow Dash nodded. Applejack and Rainbow Dash spent the next few hours looking for Big Mac and the Cutie Mark Crusader but not sign of them.
Joy: Yep. Consciences can get aneurysms. That was fast.
Kill: Well, that escalated quickly.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were able to reach the tree house that is home to the CMC club and entered it. When they entered they see the place was deserted.
Fallen: The Crusaders were trying to escape the tense shift. They did an alright job so far.
"Applebloom?... Sweetie Belle?... Scootaloo?" Shoot Applejack, "Where'd they go?" Ask Applejack as she keep looking for the 3 fillies.
Kill: What... who... where... why would you do this? WHY?!
When Applejack was still looking for the girls, Rainbow Dash seen a class with a purple liquid that filled the glass and drink it.
Fallen: Yes, drink the purple liquid you seen in a class in the CMC club. What could go wrong?
The drink starts to work on her.
"Strangely enough, I can't fin Big Macintosh either." Said the farm pony Applejack a she walk back to Rainbow Dash side, "Are you aright, Rainbow?" She ask her friend with a concern.
Fallen: It’s only just started, and I’ve even seen this horror several times over... but I’m on the verge of just rage quitting.
Rainbow Dash under the effect of the drink turns her head to look Applejack then she smiles at her.
Joy: At least PICK a tense!
Applejack look with a confused expression, "Rainbow... Rainbow?" Applejack spot a open book and read it.
Kill: No, don’t help your friend out. I think I’d just read a book. Yeah. Legit.
Joy: It’s like a bad horror movie...
Applejack when she sees the image of love poison on the book and see that Rainbow Dash drink, when she roll the head of Rainbow Dash sees her face close, Applejack was confused until he saw the empty bottle of love poison potion on the table of CMC she looks Rainbow Dash.
Fallen: Let me get this straight: she sees the image in the book, notices Rainbow’s drunks, and rolls around. Rainbow’s head sees her, Applejack notices the bottle on a table made from the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ flesh, turns into a stallion, and takes the form of Rainbow Dash.
Kill: I think I’m gonna read that book so I can turn into a mare. Worked for Applejack.
Joy: Drinking and writing should be illegal.
"Uh no the love poison potion hit you!" Applejack said. Rainbow smiled at Applejack and moved forward.
Kill: …(opens mouth)... Never mind.
"You are the cutest mare I ever see!" Rainbow Dash said with a hearts
Fallen: Ew. A hearts. I dislike heartses.
Joy: Did she... she just used a Fatality!
in her eyes she wanted Applejack so bad
Kill: I think the sentence offed itself!
"Oh damn this can't end good it's be used on the princess and the prince now you're...in love with me? Oh my Celestia!"
Fallen: How has no one in the history of fanfiction looked at the phrase “oh my Celestia” and thought it looked completely stupid?
Applejack said as she move back away to the wall. As Rainbow Dash was about to make her move towards Applejack, the farm pony ran out of the CMC's club tree house.
"You can run but can't hide my little AppleKuu!" Rainbow Dash said. Rainbow gave chase Applejack.
Kill: Insta-anime! My little Fallenkuu!
Fallen: If you weren’t technically a figment of someone else’s imagination, I’d try to strangle you.
Joy: Honestly, you did TEN of these?! Like, ten of THESE?!
Fallen: Fourteen, actually, but I’ve done ten AT ONCE. And most of those were, if you can believe it, WORSE. And they’re STILL not the lowest forms of writing I’ve seen from this fandom. By the way, those 450 or so words were only the first chapter.
Kill: Sweet fuck...
Applejack was now chased by her friend Rainbow Dash after she drink love poison potion, Applejack was the first pony she saw
Joy: We were there for that, thanks.
Kill: I’m pretty sure there’s supposed to be a full stop... somewhere...
and now Applejack was running around ponyville avoiding her she hide in tree, rock and ever in the barn, when she finally go to a dress shop to wear a disguise.
Fallen: Applejack, willingly going to get a dress? Why, that’s so out of character that it’s just SILLY!
She wore a black dress long enough to hide her cutie mark with black classes,
Kill: This story is a crime against the letter G.
she knew Rainbow couldn't get her now, as she was walking she enters to the CMC club house to read the book to cure her friend, "Ha ha!" Applejack said when she discover how cure her friend.
Joy: Keep her from looking into her eyes for an hour, right?
Fallen: Actually...
Kill: Don’t blink...
It seems all was going good for the farm pony until the mare that was chasing her was in the forest, she saw Rainbow walking around in the forest. Applejack hide making sure she didn't see her.
Fallen: Fun fact: The author can read his own writing. And he thinks the people who can’t are retarded.
Kill: The more you know, the better.
Joy: Rules like that don’t apply with this fic.
After finishing her reading she walked out of the club house and avoided Rainbow Dash but a stick caught her dress and pull the dress off at Applejack causing that Rainbow discover her.
Joy: A dress and glasses aren’t the best cover anyway.
Fallen: Works for Superman.
"AppleKuu there you are my little apple" Rainbow Dash said with her eyes hearts.
Kill and Joy: Fallenkuu! (both laugh, rolling on their backs)
Fallen: I swear to god. Rusty sawblade, up the rectum.
"Oh shit gotta run" Applejack said in shocked, "how did you know?"
Kill: (gasp) Ponies don’t curse! Or fucking do we?
Fallen: You haven’t met Vinyl Scratch, have you.
Kill: Sounds like my type of mare.
"I do not know but I'm not care, now come here you!" Applejack ran out to the forest, Rainbow shook her head and run after her.
Joy: Of course, because I am “care!”
Fallen: Please, continue the story. I’m care SO much.
Kill: I’m care, Joy’s care, he’s care, we’re all care. Care sounds like a weird word now.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders are walking in the apple field after they punishes
Fallen: Who punishes’d them? And what did they get punishes’d for?
Kill: Punishes’ing lil fillies is wrong. If you would like to stop this cruel act, please call 1-555-IAM-CARE.
but they turned to see Applejack running CMC direction she not stops but continue running be follow be Rainbow Dash both pass them.
Fallen: (head explodes)
Kill: Hara-kiri time.
Joy: At times like this, I am saddened and just want to end it all. Please tell me this is trolling.
Fallen: I’ve talked to this author before. I’m entirely convinced it is.
"Or is it me or Rainbow Dash have her eyes like hypnotized like Big Mac and Cheerilee after drink the love poison potion?"
The CMC look to each other.
Kill: (looks to Joy)
Joy: (looks to Fallen)
Fallen: (looks to sawblades) Oh, goddammit, now the story has US doing that!
--------
Back to the CMC Club House.
Joy: Meanwhile, at the Batcave!
Kill: No, you don’t get to go anywhere. Once you’re done riffing this fic, then you have my permission to leave.
Fallen: Was... was that a Dark Knight Rises joke?
When the CMC back to the clube house
Fallen: That sounds dirty.
they see the love poison class half of empty. They leave a surprises look. Apple Bloom panic and imaginary many horrible scene for her sister Applejack.
Joy: ...is Applejack imaginary?
"This is horrible this is a disaster!!!" Apple Bloom said at she panic ever more. The others crusaders try to calm her down but in vail to calm her down.
Kill: Okay, seriously, if I ever hear anypony speak like that, I will personally snap their neck.
Fallen: ...I think I have a newfound respect for you.
"Come one!!!"
Fallen: “Come all!!!”
Apple Bloom said at she take her two friends hoof and run where Applejack run.
Kill: Sweet mother of the Princesses! That sounds like... this gave me up, left, right, down syndrome.
Joy: Can they even run when they’re holding hooves?
---------
Back to Applejack.
Fallen: And years in the future (but not many)...
Kill: (on his knees) Dear Celestia! They blew it up! They blew it up! (hits the ground with hooves) DAMN YOU, YOU MANIACS!
Applejack stop running to take a break after so much running away for the crazy blue pegasus Rainbow Dash, "I... think... I... lost her...!" Said Rainbow when she taking air.
Fallen: Spell Nexus can’t decide if he’s aroused by that.
"AppleKuu!" Said Rainbow Dash,
Fallen: Don’t even.
Kill and Joy: …Kuu
when Applejack was taking a break she saw Rainbow Dash flying towards her.
Joy: Wow. That’s the closest it’s ever gotten to actual grammar.
Rainbow stops right in front of her with Applejack hiding behind a tree, Rainbow looks to her.
"Hi there my apple!"
Fallen: Well, it’s still better than... the other name.
Rainbow move where Applejack is hide in the other side of the tree but Applejack move as well so Rainbow can't get her but she still move over her. Both pony move in circle around the tree.
Fallen: The previous sentence has a problem. It was born without the letter S.
"Please not run my applekuu, I love you!" Said Rainbow still move forward over Applejack.
Kill: Please not run my Fallenk... wait... HOLY SHIT! Is that... no... it cannot be! It’s a comma! Hahaha! Yes! It’s a comma! (breaks down in tears with laughter) It’s a comma...
Joy: Hell froze over... it’s a correctly used comma.
Fallen: It’s not even correctly used. It SHOULD say “ “
Joy: Um... why?
Fallen: Because this story’s only hope is to stop existing.
"That's not you Rainbow is the potion" Said Applejack at she keep move away for Rainbow.
Fallen: I counted at least eight things wrong in that sentence.
Kill: Was potato one of them? That’s how much I’ve learnt to count to ever since I started reading. All of this is potato.
Rainbow Dash was pulling the tree off it place until she rip off the tree and drop it away, she finally have Applejack on her arm as she gave her a hug as she did Rainbow gave Applejack a bone crushing hug.
Joy: “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma” as narrated by the Hulk.
Fallen: This story’s found a way to be spoken in tenses that don’t even exist. When you have to invent a tense to tell your story, you’ve fucked up as a writer and a person.
"You know Applejack you're just the most cutest mare ever!"
"This can't be happening somepony... HELP!!!"
Joy: I can relate.
"Hush my little apple and give me some apples!"
Fallen: You are not Ash Williams, story-Rainbow. You don’t get to do that.
Rainbow moved her face close to Applejack face and was prepared to give Applejack a kiss on the lips but Applejack was pushing her face away and Rainbow was pushing her face close to her.
Applejack know that she couldn't hold out too long her arms were getting tired after some much running,
Fallen: Bullshit. I’ve seen Applejack in action, and she can easily overpower anypony who tries to make a move on her.
Kill: Arms... (grabs Joy) ARMS?!
Joy: (slaps Kill’s hooves away) Don’t touch me with your filthy arms.
she gave up and let go and as she did Rainbow Dash try to planted a kiss on her, she was moving her head from side to side trying to pull away from Rainbow kiss.
"Please Rainbow... stop and... let me go!"
"After a kiss!"
"Hell no!"
Fallen: What’s with this story and making Applejack curse like this?
Joy: If I’m not mistaken, it should be Tartarus.
Fallen: In this context? Probably not, but we can agree that it shouldn’t even BE there.
Kill and Joy: (looks at the other) Agreed.
Applejack try to push her away from Rainbow Dash but it was no she was too tire to fight, Rainbow grabbed Applejack hoofs and held them down so she wouldn't escape. After while Applejack some how managed to escaped Rainbow Dash hug,
Fallen: “Somehow” nothing. Faithful and strong.
Kill and Joy: Sharing kindness, it’s an easy feat! And magic makes it all complete!
Fallen: The fact that you two know the song scares me slightly.
Joy: Actually, since we are all referred to as ‘little ponies’ or refer each other as that, it’s a typical nursery rhyme that we sing to foals. We actually do hum it as proof.
she was hide in the barn in one of the hay mountain at she can see outside with one of the hay hole.
Joy: “At “ and “and” aren’t interchangeable.
Kill: HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN!
"Applejack!!!". Applejack hear a shout as she look into the hole she see Apple Bloom who was looking around for her sister. Applejack come off the hay and hug Apple Bloom.
Fallen: Was she in the hay or on top of it? If it was the latter, she’s doing a shit job of hiding.
"Oh Apple Bloom you not have idea how much I happy to see you!" Said Applejack.
"I know I know can you please let me go?" Apple Bloom said try to escape of her sister.
Applejack free Apple Bloom.
Kill: You are free! Now run away little Apple sibling! Run far, far away from this... this asdfdsasdfdsak.
Fallen: Spoken like a true gentleman.
"Applejack me and the girls we have Rainbow Dash we give her a cure potion who work too, you so thank that to Zecora. The effect of the cure start tomorrow,
Fallen: See? The solution is Zecora’s potion. Which is a stupid and terrible solution.
Kill: Aww... I wanted to actually see Zecora rhyme.
until then you so keep hide from her!"
Fallen: And that’s why. If Applejack successfully hides from Rainbow Dash, she’ll have been without eye contact for LONGER than an hour and it’ll wear off before the potion ever has a chance to kick in.
Applejack smile and pet Apple Bloom head, "Thank you sis... I do not know what I do without you!" Said Applejack.
Joy: Maybe without Apple Bloom, she’d have learned to speak English.
"Happy to help big sis!" Apple Bloom reply with a smile she left and walk to the house.
Applejack was laying in one of the hay waiting to be tomorrow, she then tun off the barn light and walk to the barn door, she heard something like a wood going to crack, but before she could react the exist she get hit be a wood in the head.
Kill: As quoted by FelixDawn in Love Poison Dilemma, “But before she could react the exist.” Now, as quoted by Morgan Freeman in Wanted, “Someone shoot this motherfucker.”
She tried to get up but it was too late she fell to the ground and blacked out. As she tried to recover her conscious a blue hoof step out in front of Applejack and kneeled down to her and said.
Fallen: Rainbow Dash’s hoof said “.”
"You couldn't escape me my applekuu now I have you!" said a smirking Rainbow.
---------
After hours
Kill: That’s when the best parties happen.
Applejack finally awakens to find that her 4 hoofs has been tied and she was in a bed.
Joy: Is this rated Mature? I’m pretty sure that’s BDSM.
Fallen: Nope. If it were, this might have been some sick sort of entertaining.
"Uh what the fuck happen let me out!!!" Applejack yell, "Hey who did this to me?" Yelling Applejack.
Kill: Sounds like my Friday night.
Fallen: Now that I look at it, this story’s rated Teen. Odd for this author...
She looked around to find out where she was at somepony house, her thoughts were interrupt when a voice behind her said.
"Now I have you my little farm mare"
Joy: That CAN’T have looked right when he was writing this.
Kill: Bad author. Take your hands out from your pants.
Applejack roll to see her friend Rainbow Dash, she was holding with her mouth a plate with a glass of champagne she was looking Applejack seducted.
Fallen: “She was looking Applejack seducted.” How many ways can you interpret that?
"Rainbow why... why?" Applejack ask.
Rainbow leave the plate of champagne on the table
Kill: A fucking plate of champagne... that has to be either the classiest drink for a dog-- Joy: Or the worst date ever.
and she began to laugh, "Why Applejack don't you realize you're mare for me and I seen the way you look at me, come on Applejack you know you want me too!"
Rainbow started to moved forward towards Applejack, she lay down on Applejack side on the bed and ran her hoofs across Applejack body.
Joy: You see, the thing is... I know what’s happening, and I don’t know whether I’m turned on by the two mares, since I’m a stallion, or just completely cockblocked by the way it’s written.
Fallen: The second one. Arousal is not an option.
Kill: Meh, you’re a human. I respect you for not being aroused by any other species.
"What do you want from me" Applejack asked in a anger eyed.
Rainbow moved her head closer to one of Applejack ears and whispered, "I want be inside of you!"
Fallen: Um... not sure if sex change or hermaphrodite.
Kill: Why Fallen? Why those images? I dislike them.
Fallen: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were doing this for your personal comfort.
Applejack eyes widened when she heard that, she was desperate to escape but to no avail she was trapped, she then see the sun started to come out is was a miracle for Applejack. Rainbow move her slip close to Applejack slip,
Joy: …“slip?”
Kill: I think he meant the word cl--
Fallen: HE MEANT LIPS.
Applejack hide her slip inside of her mouth so she can't kiss Rainbow.
Fallen: If Rainbow’s going south, Applejack has to be Blossomforth levels of flexible to pull that off.
When the rooster sing as the sun finally come out, Rainbow Dash make many funny face as the effect of love poison began to disappear. When Rainbow look around she see herself on the top of Applejack make her to blush.
"Applejack... why we are in my bed and why I am in top of you?" Rainbow Dash ask as she scratching her head.
Fallen: Wait, they’re in Rainbow’s bed? On a cloud? Which earth ponies can’t walk on, let alone get strapped to?
Kill: OH. MY. GOD. (mind implodes)
Fallen: Good. Someone else knows how that feels now.
Kill: GOD. MY. OH. (heaven bells gong as Kill revives through a shining light)
Fallen: That’s... new.
"I will tell you if you get off me and untie me!" Applejack said in annoying tone of voice.
Fallen: That’s more Rarity’s turf with the whining.
Rainbow move away for Applejack and untie her, "Okay I'm listen!" Said Rainbow.
Fallen: Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried.
Applejack started to explain about the Love Poison Potion and about the crazy persecution. Rainbow Dash blush and leave a disgusting expression.
"I can not believe what I did... Next time I so not drink something what is not mine...!" Rainbow said as she rub her hoofs around her face.
Fallen: Don’t bother pretending this shit had a moral.
Kill: …Fine! Now nopony can send a letter to Celestia.
Fallen: Do you really think she’d want anything to do with this story?
Applejack node, "Now can you please send me back to the farm?" Applejack ask her friend.
Rainbow Dash node and carrying Applejack and fly with her to the farm, as they arrive both pony agreed not to talk about this again as they go to different direction.
Kill: I counted, like... seventeen different tenses there.
Applejack was happy that all this end well and she did not to have sex with her best friend Rainbow Dash, she then walk back to her home so she can take a long sleep after all wild crazy night she have, when she finally lay down to her bed to sleep Big Mac appear to awake her so she can start to work.
Joy: Run-on sentences are not your friend, author.
Applejack cried in disbelieve Big Mac not have idea what night she have, Big Mac look AJ confuses wondering what wrong with her.
All: EVERYTHING.
End
Kill: Worst. Two hours. Of. My. Life. I feel sorry for you, Fallen.
Fallen: I’ve had worse. Come on, let’s rest for a second.
Joy: We were there for that, thanks.
Kill: I’m pretty sure there’s supposed to be a full stop... somewhere...
and now Applejack was running around ponyville avoiding her she hide in tree, rock and ever in the barn, when she finally go to a dress shop to wear a disguise.
Fallen: Applejack, willingly going to get a dress? Why, that’s so out of character that it’s just SILLY!
She wore a black dress long enough to hide her cutie mark with black classes,
Kill: This story is a crime against the letter G.
she knew Rainbow couldn't get her now, as she was walking she enters to the CMC club house to read the book to cure her friend, "Ha ha!" Applejack said when she discover how cure her friend.
Joy: Keep her from looking into her eyes for an hour, right?
Fallen: Actually...
Kill: Don’t blink...
It seems all was going good for the farm pony until the mare that was chasing her was in the forest, she saw Rainbow walking around in the forest. Applejack hide making sure she didn't see her.
Fallen: Fun fact: The author can read his own writing. And he thinks the people who can’t are retarded.
Kill: The more you know, the better.
Joy: Rules like that don’t apply with this fic.
After finishing her reading she walked out of the club house and avoided Rainbow Dash but a stick caught her dress and pull the dress off at Applejack causing that Rainbow discover her.
Joy: A dress and glasses aren’t the best cover anyway.
Fallen: Works for Superman.
"AppleKuu there you are my little apple" Rainbow Dash said with her eyes hearts.
Kill and Joy: Fallenkuu! (both laugh, rolling on their backs)
Fallen: I swear to god. Rusty sawblade, up the rectum.
"Oh shit gotta run" Applejack said in shocked, "how did you know?"
Kill: (gasp) Ponies don’t curse! Or fucking do we?
Fallen: You haven’t met Vinyl Scratch, have you.
Kill: Sounds like my type of mare.
"I do not know but I'm not care, now come here you!" Applejack ran out to the forest, Rainbow shook her head and run after her.
Joy: Of course, because I am “care!”
Fallen: Please, continue the story. I’m care SO much.
Kill: I’m care, Joy’s care, he’s care, we’re all care. Care sounds like a weird word now.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders are walking in the apple field after they punishes
Fallen: Who punishes’d them? And what did they get punishes’d for?
Kill: Punishes’ing lil fillies is wrong. If you would like to stop this cruel act, please call 1-555-IAM-CARE.
but they turned to see Applejack running CMC direction she not stops but continue running be follow be Rainbow Dash both pass them.
Fallen: (head explodes)
Kill: Hara-kiri time.
Joy: At times like this, I am saddened and just want to end it all. Please tell me this is trolling.
Fallen: I’ve talked to this author before. I’m entirely convinced it is.
"Or is it me or Rainbow Dash have her eyes like hypnotized like Big Mac and Cheerilee after drink the love poison potion?"
The CMC look to each other.
Kill: (looks to Joy)
Joy: (looks to Fallen)
Fallen: (looks to sawblades) Oh, goddammit, now the story has US doing that!
--------
Back to the CMC Club House.
Joy: Meanwhile, at the Batcave!
Kill: No, you don’t get to go anywhere. Once you’re done riffing this fic, then you have my permission to leave.
Fallen: Was... was that a Dark Knight Rises joke?
When the CMC back to the clube house
Fallen: That sounds dirty.
they see the love poison class half of empty. They leave a surprises look. Apple Bloom panic and imaginary many horrible scene for her sister Applejack.
Joy: ...is Applejack imaginary?
"This is horrible this is a disaster!!!" Apple Bloom said at she panic ever more. The others crusaders try to calm her down but in vail to calm her down.
Kill: Okay, seriously, if I ever hear anypony speak like that, I will personally snap their neck.
Fallen: ...I think I have a newfound respect for you.
"Come one!!!"
Fallen: “Come all!!!”
Apple Bloom said at she take her two friends hoof and run where Applejack run.
Kill: Sweet mother of the Princesses! That sounds like... this gave me up, left, right, down syndrome.
Joy: Can they even run when they’re holding hooves?
---------
Back to Applejack.
Fallen: And years in the future (but not many)...
Kill: (on his knees) Dear Celestia! They blew it up! They blew it up! (hits the ground with hooves) DAMN YOU, YOU MANIACS!
Applejack stop running to take a break after so much running away for the crazy blue pegasus Rainbow Dash, "I... think... I... lost her...!" Said Rainbow when she taking air.
Fallen: Spell Nexus can’t decide if he’s aroused by that.
"AppleKuu!" Said Rainbow Dash,
Fallen: Don’t even.
Kill and Joy: …Kuu
when Applejack was taking a break she saw Rainbow Dash flying towards her.
Joy: Wow. That’s the closest it’s ever gotten to actual grammar.
Rainbow stops right in front of her with Applejack hiding behind a tree, Rainbow looks to her.
"Hi there my apple!"
Fallen: Well, it’s still better than... the other name.
Rainbow move where Applejack is hide in the other side of the tree but Applejack move as well so Rainbow can't get her but she still move over her. Both pony move in circle around the tree.
Fallen: The previous sentence has a problem. It was born without the letter S.
"Please not run my applekuu, I love you!" Said Rainbow still move forward over Applejack.
Kill: Please not run my Fallenk... wait... HOLY SHIT! Is that... no... it cannot be! It’s a comma! Hahaha! Yes! It’s a comma! (breaks down in tears with laughter) It’s a comma...
Joy: Hell froze over... it’s a correctly used comma.
Fallen: It’s not even correctly used. It SHOULD say “ “
Joy: Um... why?
Fallen: Because this story’s only hope is to stop existing.
"That's not you Rainbow is the potion" Said Applejack at she keep move away for Rainbow.
Fallen: I counted at least eight things wrong in that sentence.
Kill: Was potato one of them? That’s how much I’ve learnt to count to ever since I started reading. All of this is potato.
Rainbow Dash was pulling the tree off it place until she rip off the tree and drop it away, she finally have Applejack on her arm as she gave her a hug as she did Rainbow gave Applejack a bone crushing hug.
Joy: “Applejack in Love Poison Dilemma” as narrated by the Hulk.
Fallen: This story’s found a way to be spoken in tenses that don’t even exist. When you have to invent a tense to tell your story, you’ve fucked up as a writer and a person.
"You know Applejack you're just the most cutest mare ever!"
"This can't be happening somepony... HELP!!!"
Joy: I can relate.
"Hush my little apple and give me some apples!"
Fallen: You are not Ash Williams, story-Rainbow. You don’t get to do that.
Rainbow moved her face close to Applejack face and was prepared to give Applejack a kiss on the lips but Applejack was pushing her face away and Rainbow was pushing her face close to her.
Applejack know that she couldn't hold out too long her arms were getting tired after some much running,
Fallen: Bullshit. I’ve seen Applejack in action, and she can easily overpower anypony who tries to make a move on her.
Kill: Arms... (grabs Joy) ARMS?!
Joy: (slaps Kill’s hooves away) Don’t touch me with your filthy arms.
she gave up and let go and as she did Rainbow Dash try to planted a kiss on her, she was moving her head from side to side trying to pull away from Rainbow kiss.
"Please Rainbow... stop and... let me go!"
"After a kiss!"
"Hell no!"
Fallen: What’s with this story and making Applejack curse like this?
Joy: If I’m not mistaken, it should be Tartarus.
Fallen: In this context? Probably not, but we can agree that it shouldn’t even BE there.
Kill and Joy: (looks at the other) Agreed.
Applejack try to push her away from Rainbow Dash but it was no she was too tire to fight, Rainbow grabbed Applejack hoofs and held them down so she wouldn't escape. After while Applejack some how managed to escaped Rainbow Dash hug,
Fallen: “Somehow” nothing. Faithful and strong.
Kill and Joy: Sharing kindness, it’s an easy feat! And magic makes it all complete!
Fallen: The fact that you two know the song scares me slightly.
Joy: Actually, since we are all referred to as ‘little ponies’ or refer each other as that, it’s a typical nursery rhyme that we sing to foals. We actually do hum it as proof.
she was hide in the barn in one of the hay mountain at she can see outside with one of the hay hole.
Joy: “At “ and “and” aren’t interchangeable.
Kill: HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN! HAY MOUNTAIN!
"Applejack!!!". Applejack hear a shout as she look into the hole she see Apple Bloom who was looking around for her sister. Applejack come off the hay and hug Apple Bloom.
Fallen: Was she in the hay or on top of it? If it was the latter, she’s doing a shit job of hiding.
"Oh Apple Bloom you not have idea how much I happy to see you!" Said Applejack.
"I know I know can you please let me go?" Apple Bloom said try to escape of her sister.
Applejack free Apple Bloom.
Kill: You are free! Now run away little Apple sibling! Run far, far away from this... this asdfdsasdfdsak.
Fallen: Spoken like a true gentleman.
"Applejack me and the girls we have Rainbow Dash we give her a cure potion who work too, you so thank that to Zecora. The effect of the cure start tomorrow,
Fallen: See? The solution is Zecora’s potion. Which is a stupid and terrible solution.
Kill: Aww... I wanted to actually see Zecora rhyme.
until then you so keep hide from her!"
Fallen: And that’s why. If Applejack successfully hides from Rainbow Dash, she’ll have been without eye contact for LONGER than an hour and it’ll wear off before the potion ever has a chance to kick in.
Applejack smile and pet Apple Bloom head, "Thank you sis... I do not know what I do without you!" Said Applejack.
Joy: Maybe without Apple Bloom, she’d have learned to speak English.
"Happy to help big sis!" Apple Bloom reply with a smile she left and walk to the house.
Applejack was laying in one of the hay waiting to be tomorrow, she then tun off the barn light and walk to the barn door, she heard something like a wood going to crack, but before she could react the exist she get hit be a wood in the head.
Kill: As quoted by FelixDawn in Love Poison Dilemma, “But before she could react the exist.” Now, as quoted by Morgan Freeman in Wanted, “Someone shoot this motherfucker.”
She tried to get up but it was too late she fell to the ground and blacked out. As she tried to recover her conscious a blue hoof step out in front of Applejack and kneeled down to her and said.
Fallen: Rainbow Dash’s hoof said “.”
"You couldn't escape me my applekuu now I have you!" said a smirking Rainbow.
---------
After hours
Kill: That’s when the best parties happen.
Applejack finally awakens to find that her 4 hoofs has been tied and she was in a bed.
Joy: Is this rated Mature? I’m pretty sure that’s BDSM.
Fallen: Nope. If it were, this might have been some sick sort of entertaining.
"Uh what the fuck happen let me out!!!" Applejack yell, "Hey who did this to me?" Yelling Applejack.
Kill: Sounds like my Friday night.
Fallen: Now that I look at it, this story’s rated Teen. Odd for this author...
She looked around to find out where she was at somepony house, her thoughts were interrupt when a voice behind her said.
"Now I have you my little farm mare"
Joy: That CAN’T have looked right when he was writing this.
Kill: Bad author. Take your hands out from your pants.
Applejack roll to see her friend Rainbow Dash, she was holding with her mouth a plate with a glass of champagne she was looking Applejack seducted.
Fallen: “She was looking Applejack seducted.” How many ways can you interpret that?
"Rainbow why... why?" Applejack ask.
Rainbow leave the plate of champagne on the table
Kill: A fucking plate of champagne... that has to be either the classiest drink for a dog-- Joy: Or the worst date ever.
and she began to laugh, "Why Applejack don't you realize you're mare for me and I seen the way you look at me, come on Applejack you know you want me too!"
Rainbow started to moved forward towards Applejack, she lay down on Applejack side on the bed and ran her hoofs across Applejack body.
Joy: You see, the thing is... I know what’s happening, and I don’t know whether I’m turned on by the two mares, since I’m a stallion, or just completely cockblocked by the way it’s written.
Fallen: The second one. Arousal is not an option.
Kill: Meh, you’re a human. I respect you for not being aroused by any other species.
"What do you want from me" Applejack asked in a anger eyed.
Rainbow moved her head closer to one of Applejack ears and whispered, "I want be inside of you!"
Fallen: Um... not sure if sex change or hermaphrodite.
Kill: Why Fallen? Why those images? I dislike them.
Fallen: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we were doing this for your personal comfort.
Applejack eyes widened when she heard that, she was desperate to escape but to no avail she was trapped, she then see the sun started to come out is was a miracle for Applejack. Rainbow move her slip close to Applejack slip,
Joy: …“slip?”
Kill: I think he meant the word cl--
Fallen: HE MEANT LIPS.
Applejack hide her slip inside of her mouth so she can't kiss Rainbow.
Fallen: If Rainbow’s going south, Applejack has to be Blossomforth levels of flexible to pull that off.
When the rooster sing as the sun finally come out, Rainbow Dash make many funny face as the effect of love poison began to disappear. When Rainbow look around she see herself on the top of Applejack make her to blush.
"Applejack... why we are in my bed and why I am in top of you?" Rainbow Dash ask as she scratching her head.
Fallen: Wait, they’re in Rainbow’s bed? On a cloud? Which earth ponies can’t walk on, let alone get strapped to?
Kill: OH. MY. GOD. (mind implodes)
Fallen: Good. Someone else knows how that feels now.
Kill: GOD. MY. OH. (heaven bells gong as Kill revives through a shining light)
Fallen: That’s... new.
"I will tell you if you get off me and untie me!" Applejack said in annoying tone of voice.
Fallen: That’s more Rarity’s turf with the whining.
Rainbow move away for Applejack and untie her, "Okay I'm listen!" Said Rainbow.
Fallen: Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried.
Applejack started to explain about the Love Poison Potion and about the crazy persecution. Rainbow Dash blush and leave a disgusting expression.
"I can not believe what I did... Next time I so not drink something what is not mine...!" Rainbow said as she rub her hoofs around her face.
Fallen: Don’t bother pretending this shit had a moral.
Kill: …Fine! Now nopony can send a letter to Celestia.
Fallen: Do you really think she’d want anything to do with this story?
Applejack node, "Now can you please send me back to the farm?" Applejack ask her friend.
Rainbow Dash node and carrying Applejack and fly with her to the farm, as they arrive both pony agreed not to talk about this again as they go to different direction.
Kill: I counted, like... seventeen different tenses there.
Applejack was happy that all this end well and she did not to have sex with her best friend Rainbow Dash, she then walk back to her home so she can take a long sleep after all wild crazy night she have, when she finally lay down to her bed to sleep Big Mac appear to awake her so she can start to work.
Joy: Run-on sentences are not your friend, author.
Applejack cried in disbelieve Big Mac not have idea what night she have, Big Mac look AJ confuses wondering what wrong with her.
All: EVERYTHING.
End
Kill: Worst. Two hours. Of. My. Life. I feel sorry for you, Fallen.
Fallen: I’ve had worse. Come on, let’s rest for a second.
Kill: These have to be more fun if you are going to continue! I must not allow such self cruelty to go without fun! WHY NOT MAKE A DRINKING GAME OUT OF THIS?!
Fallen: Now there’s an idea...
Pinkie: (from TV) How’d you two enjoy your first run at an MST?
Joy: My ideas are bleeding.
Kill: All my thoughts have cancer.
Pinkie: Good answers! But remember, you still have more to go!
Fallen: Shit, right, you said you had TWO stories by this fuckstick.
Joy: (cries) But I wanna go back to Graze! I don’t wanna... How many words?
Dash: (from TV) Oh, about 1300, give or take.
Kill: (cracks neck and smacks his hooves together) LET’S DO THIS! GODSPEED!
Fallen: In a bit. Christ, I need a rest...
Joy: What’s wrong? Is it the author?
Fallen: Of course it’s the author. Ring and I have talked to him at least once. We did a thing together for “Spike’s Girl Trouble” as retaliation for his stubborn refusal to not suck. He deleted most of the conversation, but we wore him down enough to basically confirm to ourselves that this son of a bitch is trolling.
Joy: The writing sure shows that.
Fallen: And there has not been a SHRED of improvement after this story. I’ve read two others by FelixDawn, and both hurt worse than this one on every level.
Kill: The drinking game shall soothe your pain.
Fallen: It would if I could drink...
Dash: Get over it. We’re starting up the second story. It’s called “Rainbow Dash ‘s Confession,” and all I’ll say is that I’m glad I’m not there.
Kill and Joy: (looks at title) Holy shit... this is not going to be good.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: Now there’s an idea...
Pinkie: (from TV) How’d you two enjoy your first run at an MST?
Joy: My ideas are bleeding.
Kill: All my thoughts have cancer.
Pinkie: Good answers! But remember, you still have more to go!
Fallen: Shit, right, you said you had TWO stories by this fuckstick.
Joy: (cries) But I wanna go back to Graze! I don’t wanna... How many words?
Dash: (from TV) Oh, about 1300, give or take.
Kill: (cracks neck and smacks his hooves together) LET’S DO THIS! GODSPEED!
Fallen: In a bit. Christ, I need a rest...
Joy: What’s wrong? Is it the author?
Fallen: Of course it’s the author. Ring and I have talked to him at least once. We did a thing together for “Spike’s Girl Trouble” as retaliation for his stubborn refusal to not suck. He deleted most of the conversation, but we wore him down enough to basically confirm to ourselves that this son of a bitch is trolling.
Joy: The writing sure shows that.
Fallen: And there has not been a SHRED of improvement after this story. I’ve read two others by FelixDawn, and both hurt worse than this one on every level.
Kill: The drinking game shall soothe your pain.
Fallen: It would if I could drink...
Dash: Get over it. We’re starting up the second story. It’s called “Rainbow Dash ‘s Confession,” and all I’ll say is that I’m glad I’m not there.
Kill and Joy: (looks at title) Holy shit... this is not going to be good.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Celestia's sun was high in the sky, meaning it was the afternoon.
Fallen: I’m sick to death of stories opening with a comment on the weather. But this somehow takes it that one step in the wrong direction.
Kill: It can never mean that it was morning. No, the sun is never high in the sky. And yes, I intend to make every reader drunk by the end of this 1300 word story.
Twilight Sparkle laid down on the grass reading a book.
Joy: GRAMMAR! HONEST-TO-GOD GRAMMAR!
The purple unicorn, Twilight
Fallen: YES. WE KNOW. IT’S TWILIGHT. YOU SAID THAT ALREADY.
Kill: Honestly, when people write, they shouldn’t say “purple unicorn.” We all know who she is. Describe other features, like her mane maybe?
hear some hoofsteps coming closer to her it was a blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash who watched Twilight reading a book.
Fallen: I refuse to believe she WALKED over.
"Hey, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash started the conversation.
Kill: No. Really?
"Hi, Rainbow... How have you been?"
"I been doing alright.
Kill: My God. They made Rainbow ghetto!
Hey Twilight, can I ask you for some advice?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Of course, what can I help you with?" Twilight Sparkle respond, "So what do you need advice on?" She demanded.
Fallen: Instant mood swing GO!
"Well is... about love!" Rainbow Dash said.
Fallen: Of all the ponies to ask, you pick the one LEAST likely to help with an abstract concept.
"Love?" Twilight asked.
Joy: Yes, lurv.
The purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle
Fallen: STOP THAT!
Kill: I don’t think she’s supposed to be purple, Fallen! THAT TWILIGHT IS A SPY!
remained quiet for a while to think about what Rainbow Dash had just said. Rainbow Dash seemed to be nervous about whatever she had wanted to talk about.
Rainbow Dash started to blush like she was embarrassed about something, Twilight get up and walk where, Rainbow Dash was. Twilight could see that Rainbow was thinking what to say to her.
Joy: What I’d like to know is, why doesn’t he say “The cyan mare, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash take a big breath, "How do you know if you're in love?" She asked.
Kill: “Well, it starts with the birds raping the bees...”
"When you're around somepony your can feel your heart beating very rapidly. You feel like you have butterflies in your stomach that won't seem to go away. After awhile, you know that you really care for this pony and you want to spend the rest of your life with that...
Fallen: Oh, like the author would know a thing about love.
Why?" Twilight explained.
"The thing is.......... I think that I'm in love with, Applejack but I don't know how to tell her how I feel!" Rainbow Dash in a nervous tone and with a blush on her cheeks.
Joy: Coincidentally, after reading a fic about Rainbow Dash nearly performing coitus on AJ, we get this fic that she is in love with her. Sequel, anyone?
Fallen: No, this author’s stories aren’t related to each other. But it’s always either Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Spike. Or, in one case, all three at once, PLUS Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle could feel a smile coming on her face, "Do you love her?" She asked.
Kill: So, what you’re trying to say is Rainbow Dash is seen as a lesbian in this fic? My God. That is brand new. Fresh off the market. Somepony alert the fucking press!
Fallen: His most recent/popular story is one where she’s NOT a lesbian, but everypony thinks she is. Which was written because the author was sick of LesDash stories. So FelixDawn is not only barely literate, he’s a barely literate hypocrite.
"From what you said I officially believe that I loved her. I just don't know how I should tell her. I get very nervous when I'm around her.... especially during a race!" Rainbow Dash said.
Fallen: Didn’t trip you up during the Running of the Leaves.
Kill: Don’t worry, I get very anxious when I decide to talk to mares during a marathon... it’s like the only place you can meet them anyway.
"All right, I help you..
Fallen: You can start by cleaning up the grammar.
Kill: That’s fourteen drinks, by the way.
Fallen: You’re keeping count!?
Kill: Only on the ones where we claw into the story like vultures, so basically, it should be a lot more.
Meet me tomorrow morning at the flower shop we get this over with so by the end of tomorrow morning, you have to confessed your feelings okay?" Twilight said.
"Thanks Twilight you're a life savior.
Fallen: There are no jokes for that error. That is the worst thing.
What time do you want me to meet you?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"How about six in the morning because I need to make some breakfast to, Spike" Twilight said.
Joy: (sees comma and facehoofs)
Kill: (facehoof)
Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a hug and they went their separate ways to get home.
Fallen: ...okay? Is something gonna happen? ...no? White space? Alright.
In the next morning,
Joy: As in literally INSIDE the morning.
Twilight Sparkle woke up in the five in the morning a she promise. When she arrived at the flower shop, she went inside to see what flowers is perfect for Applejack.
Fallen: The part of Twilight Sparkle will be played by Tommy Wiseau.
Rainbow Dash was waiting outside of the flower shop, she walking in a circle along the nerves she have. She then see Twilight coming out of the flower shop holding with her magic the flowers.
"Ready to go?" Twilight asked, Rainbow Dash noticing that she was blushing.
Joy: Why was TWILIGHT blushing?
"What if she does not feel the same way?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"With that I can not help you that it is her decision to love you the same way you love her!" Twilight respond.
Kill: Oh, I feel violated reading that.
Fallen: The hurt never leaves. You would do well to learn that.
Kill: When I sleep at night from now on, I will just stare at the ceiling as I think about life, just because of that sentence.
Rainbow Dash then pick the flowers with her tail. After she take the flowers, Twilight wish her a good luck
Joy: Only one?
and left, Rainbow flies to see Applejack.
After about few minutes,
Fallen: Few is not a numerical value.
she found Applejack bucking apple trees. Rainbow Dash felt his heart bucking more faster and she started to get nervous when she stared at the farm pony beauty.
Joy: Oh, Rule 63, you are such a heartless bitch. Transforming mares when they get nervous? How could you!
*Come on, Rainbow Dash you can do this. I mean, its just Applejack, right? What's the worst that can happen? She a pony that you know for long time and it's no big deal if she finds it weird, right?* The blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash thought repeatedly tried to calm herself.
Kill: ...at least it isn’t “the purple unicorn, Twilight.”
Joy: This is no better.
Rainbow Dash land and gulped a she started to walk to his crush
Fallen: Apparently the author thinks turning into a stallion is a superpower Rainbow has.
Kill: No. Way. Rainbow Dash Land! I’ve always wanted to go there since I was a colt!
Joy: We were always a bit short for the rides, though.
with the flowers behind her back. She got closer when Applejack noticed her.
"Oh, hello Rainbow Dash.. What I can do for you?" Said Applejack with a smile.
Fallen: If Rainbow really loved her, she’d try to help her escape this story.
"Hey, Applejack I need to tell you something!" Rainbow Dash said.
"Ok. What is it sugar?" Applejack asked.
Joy: ...Sugarcube
Rainbow Dash felt himself shaking a little but urged himself to keep going, "I... I got this for you!" She said and show the farmer pony the flowers that Twilight buy for her.
Kill: (Rainbow Dash voice) Gomenasai, Applejack-sama! (normal voice) I wasn’t the only one thinking about an anime love scene.
"Fer... fer me?" Applejack asked
Fallen: Don’t get used to that. There’s almost NOTHING done for AJ’s accent.
Rainbow Dash gave her a nod and she gave Applejack the flowers.
Applejack see a red-rose flowers, "Oh thank you sugarcube not pony gave me flowers before!"
Kill: You see “a”, singular, “red-rose flowers,” plural.
Joy: “Not pony.”
Fallen: We’ve glossed over far worse.
Rainbow Dash felt his heartbeat increase and blushed, "Y... you're welcome Applejack," She said, "I... I also want to... say something to you!"
Kill: Rainbow Dash has changed genders more than the tenses in this fic.
Fallen: That doesn’t seem physically possible.
Applejack stop looking to her flowers and gave a warm smile to Rainbow Dash, "Well what is it sugarcube?"
Rainbow Dash felt like she was going to have a heart attack as she going to confess her love for the farmer pony, "Applejack... I uh... for the last years I've talked to you, I.. I felt something in me!" The blue pegasus said nervously.
Kill: “...felt something in me.” ...Pftchhh. I’m sorry! I’m terrible! Hahahahaha!
Fallen: I think I’d have to kill you if you DIDN’T pick up on that.
"I... I really like hanging out with you and talking to you. You... you aren't like any of the other ponies I've met!" Rainbow Dash said.
Kill: YOU MEAN RAINBOW HASN’T BEEN SEEING ANY OTHER MARES AS WRITTEN BY OTHER AUTHORS? No. Way. You rebel, you.
The blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash
Joy: Wow. You’re right, that IS annoying.
take one of Applejack hoofs, "Thanks for the help of, Twilight that I realized that I love you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I know it may sound weird, but
Fallen: “Argleflargleblargle.”
I really care about you, Applejack what I'm trying to say is that... I love you more than a friend I want to start a life with you as couples!"
Fallen: COUPLES? You haven’t even hooked up with her yet and you’re already trying to make it a polygamous relationship?
Rainbow Dash looked up to see that, Applejack had a shocked expression on her face and her eyes were bulging out of her sockets.
Kill: Bulging out of her sockets... fucking really? (facehoof) I really have no more brain for that sentence.
Joy: That is so out of character.
Rainbow Dash shake Applejack trying to get her out of her trance, "Applejack hello somepony home?"
Fallen She can’t brain today. She has the dumb.
The farmer pony broke out of her trance and looked at Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow did y'all really mean what ya just said to me?" She asked with a concerned look.
The blue pegasus gave her a nod, "Yes... Applejack... I do mean it.... I really like being around you, talking with you, and working with you. I like you a lot Applejack!" She take Applejack hoof again.
Joy: ALL of that could still indicate friendship rather than love.
Kill: Which thus indicates the worse, inescapable pain ever... The Friendzone.
Applejack took her hoof away for Rainbow's hoofs, "Rainbow... Ah've got t'be honest with ya sugarcube!" She said with a sadness in her voice, "Y'all work hard, ya do mess up from time to time, but ya have a good heart and y'all do so much fer everypony!"
Fallen: Oh. My. God. Not only is this actually giving Applejack an accent, but... THIS IS GRAMMAR.
Kill: Hell froze over. Seven times.
Rainbow Dash felt her heart swell up like a balloon, "Applejack are... you saying that...?"
"Do not dilutions yourself sugarcube!" Said Applejack.
Fallen: OUCH.
"What you mean?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
Fallen: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
"I mean I do not I love you as you love me!" Applejack respond.
Joy: That’s a bit formal for a farm mare, don’t you think?
"But.. but!" Rainbow Dash tried to said something with a mix of sorrow and fear in his voice expecting the worst case about the rejection. She gulped.
"Rainbow do you expect me to say I love you back?" Applejack rise her voice but not in anger, "You're my best friend not my lover mare and I am not lesbian or bi... you get that sugar?"
Kill: “DURRRRR NOPE”
Applejack put her hoofs on, Rainbow Dash shoulders, "I'm straight suagar...
Fallen: ...is that supposed to mean “sugar” or “swagger?”
Kill: Yes.
Rainbow Dash that doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend... I hope you understand!"
"Thanks... for the flowers!" Applejack take the flowers that, Rainbow Dash gave her with her tail
Joy: Um...?
and walk to her house.
Rainbow Dash with a sorrow on her heart watched the farm pony leaving, "Applejack...!" She slowly muttered a she felt a tears fall of her eyes.
Fallen: That could actually be made to look pretentious. “A tear’s fall of her-” no, that’s still retarded.
Rainbow Dash hung her head in sadness as she slowly trotted and before flying away.
Kill: Did... did the story just end?
Fallen: Yep. That’s it. The story’s marked as finished, and that’s where it ends.
Joy: Thankfully!
Fallen: I’m sick to death of stories opening with a comment on the weather. But this somehow takes it that one step in the wrong direction.
Kill: It can never mean that it was morning. No, the sun is never high in the sky. And yes, I intend to make every reader drunk by the end of this 1300 word story.
Twilight Sparkle laid down on the grass reading a book.
Joy: GRAMMAR! HONEST-TO-GOD GRAMMAR!
The purple unicorn, Twilight
Fallen: YES. WE KNOW. IT’S TWILIGHT. YOU SAID THAT ALREADY.
Kill: Honestly, when people write, they shouldn’t say “purple unicorn.” We all know who she is. Describe other features, like her mane maybe?
hear some hoofsteps coming closer to her it was a blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash who watched Twilight reading a book.
Fallen: I refuse to believe she WALKED over.
"Hey, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash started the conversation.
Kill: No. Really?
"Hi, Rainbow... How have you been?"
"I been doing alright.
Kill: My God. They made Rainbow ghetto!
Hey Twilight, can I ask you for some advice?" Rainbow Dash said.
"Of course, what can I help you with?" Twilight Sparkle respond, "So what do you need advice on?" She demanded.
Fallen: Instant mood swing GO!
"Well is... about love!" Rainbow Dash said.
Fallen: Of all the ponies to ask, you pick the one LEAST likely to help with an abstract concept.
"Love?" Twilight asked.
Joy: Yes, lurv.
The purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle
Fallen: STOP THAT!
Kill: I don’t think she’s supposed to be purple, Fallen! THAT TWILIGHT IS A SPY!
remained quiet for a while to think about what Rainbow Dash had just said. Rainbow Dash seemed to be nervous about whatever she had wanted to talk about.
Rainbow Dash started to blush like she was embarrassed about something, Twilight get up and walk where, Rainbow Dash was. Twilight could see that Rainbow was thinking what to say to her.
Joy: What I’d like to know is, why doesn’t he say “The cyan mare, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash take a big breath, "How do you know if you're in love?" She asked.
Kill: “Well, it starts with the birds raping the bees...”
"When you're around somepony your can feel your heart beating very rapidly. You feel like you have butterflies in your stomach that won't seem to go away. After awhile, you know that you really care for this pony and you want to spend the rest of your life with that...
Fallen: Oh, like the author would know a thing about love.
Why?" Twilight explained.
"The thing is.......... I think that I'm in love with, Applejack but I don't know how to tell her how I feel!" Rainbow Dash in a nervous tone and with a blush on her cheeks.
Joy: Coincidentally, after reading a fic about Rainbow Dash nearly performing coitus on AJ, we get this fic that she is in love with her. Sequel, anyone?
Fallen: No, this author’s stories aren’t related to each other. But it’s always either Applejack, Rainbow Dash, or Spike. Or, in one case, all three at once, PLUS Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle could feel a smile coming on her face, "Do you love her?" She asked.
Kill: So, what you’re trying to say is Rainbow Dash is seen as a lesbian in this fic? My God. That is brand new. Fresh off the market. Somepony alert the fucking press!
Fallen: His most recent/popular story is one where she’s NOT a lesbian, but everypony thinks she is. Which was written because the author was sick of LesDash stories. So FelixDawn is not only barely literate, he’s a barely literate hypocrite.
"From what you said I officially believe that I loved her. I just don't know how I should tell her. I get very nervous when I'm around her.... especially during a race!" Rainbow Dash said.
Fallen: Didn’t trip you up during the Running of the Leaves.
Kill: Don’t worry, I get very anxious when I decide to talk to mares during a marathon... it’s like the only place you can meet them anyway.
"All right, I help you..
Fallen: You can start by cleaning up the grammar.
Kill: That’s fourteen drinks, by the way.
Fallen: You’re keeping count!?
Kill: Only on the ones where we claw into the story like vultures, so basically, it should be a lot more.
Meet me tomorrow morning at the flower shop we get this over with so by the end of tomorrow morning, you have to confessed your feelings okay?" Twilight said.
"Thanks Twilight you're a life savior.
Fallen: There are no jokes for that error. That is the worst thing.
What time do you want me to meet you?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"How about six in the morning because I need to make some breakfast to, Spike" Twilight said.
Joy: (sees comma and facehoofs)
Kill: (facehoof)
Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a hug and they went their separate ways to get home.
Fallen: ...okay? Is something gonna happen? ...no? White space? Alright.
In the next morning,
Joy: As in literally INSIDE the morning.
Twilight Sparkle woke up in the five in the morning a she promise. When she arrived at the flower shop, she went inside to see what flowers is perfect for Applejack.
Fallen: The part of Twilight Sparkle will be played by Tommy Wiseau.
Rainbow Dash was waiting outside of the flower shop, she walking in a circle along the nerves she have. She then see Twilight coming out of the flower shop holding with her magic the flowers.
"Ready to go?" Twilight asked, Rainbow Dash noticing that she was blushing.
Joy: Why was TWILIGHT blushing?
"What if she does not feel the same way?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"With that I can not help you that it is her decision to love you the same way you love her!" Twilight respond.
Kill: Oh, I feel violated reading that.
Fallen: The hurt never leaves. You would do well to learn that.
Kill: When I sleep at night from now on, I will just stare at the ceiling as I think about life, just because of that sentence.
Rainbow Dash then pick the flowers with her tail. After she take the flowers, Twilight wish her a good luck
Joy: Only one?
and left, Rainbow flies to see Applejack.
After about few minutes,
Fallen: Few is not a numerical value.
she found Applejack bucking apple trees. Rainbow Dash felt his heart bucking more faster and she started to get nervous when she stared at the farm pony beauty.
Joy: Oh, Rule 63, you are such a heartless bitch. Transforming mares when they get nervous? How could you!
*Come on, Rainbow Dash you can do this. I mean, its just Applejack, right? What's the worst that can happen? She a pony that you know for long time and it's no big deal if she finds it weird, right?* The blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash thought repeatedly tried to calm herself.
Kill: ...at least it isn’t “the purple unicorn, Twilight.”
Joy: This is no better.
Rainbow Dash land and gulped a she started to walk to his crush
Fallen: Apparently the author thinks turning into a stallion is a superpower Rainbow has.
Kill: No. Way. Rainbow Dash Land! I’ve always wanted to go there since I was a colt!
Joy: We were always a bit short for the rides, though.
with the flowers behind her back. She got closer when Applejack noticed her.
"Oh, hello Rainbow Dash.. What I can do for you?" Said Applejack with a smile.
Fallen: If Rainbow really loved her, she’d try to help her escape this story.
"Hey, Applejack I need to tell you something!" Rainbow Dash said.
"Ok. What is it sugar?" Applejack asked.
Joy: ...Sugarcube
Rainbow Dash felt himself shaking a little but urged himself to keep going, "I... I got this for you!" She said and show the farmer pony the flowers that Twilight buy for her.
Kill: (Rainbow Dash voice) Gomenasai, Applejack-sama! (normal voice) I wasn’t the only one thinking about an anime love scene.
"Fer... fer me?" Applejack asked
Fallen: Don’t get used to that. There’s almost NOTHING done for AJ’s accent.
Rainbow Dash gave her a nod and she gave Applejack the flowers.
Applejack see a red-rose flowers, "Oh thank you sugarcube not pony gave me flowers before!"
Kill: You see “a”, singular, “red-rose flowers,” plural.
Joy: “Not pony.”
Fallen: We’ve glossed over far worse.
Rainbow Dash felt his heartbeat increase and blushed, "Y... you're welcome Applejack," She said, "I... I also want to... say something to you!"
Kill: Rainbow Dash has changed genders more than the tenses in this fic.
Fallen: That doesn’t seem physically possible.
Applejack stop looking to her flowers and gave a warm smile to Rainbow Dash, "Well what is it sugarcube?"
Rainbow Dash felt like she was going to have a heart attack as she going to confess her love for the farmer pony, "Applejack... I uh... for the last years I've talked to you, I.. I felt something in me!" The blue pegasus said nervously.
Kill: “...felt something in me.” ...Pftchhh. I’m sorry! I’m terrible! Hahahahaha!
Fallen: I think I’d have to kill you if you DIDN’T pick up on that.
"I... I really like hanging out with you and talking to you. You... you aren't like any of the other ponies I've met!" Rainbow Dash said.
Kill: YOU MEAN RAINBOW HASN’T BEEN SEEING ANY OTHER MARES AS WRITTEN BY OTHER AUTHORS? No. Way. You rebel, you.
The blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash
Joy: Wow. You’re right, that IS annoying.
take one of Applejack hoofs, "Thanks for the help of, Twilight that I realized that I love you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I know it may sound weird, but
Fallen: “Argleflargleblargle.”
I really care about you, Applejack what I'm trying to say is that... I love you more than a friend I want to start a life with you as couples!"
Fallen: COUPLES? You haven’t even hooked up with her yet and you’re already trying to make it a polygamous relationship?
Rainbow Dash looked up to see that, Applejack had a shocked expression on her face and her eyes were bulging out of her sockets.
Kill: Bulging out of her sockets... fucking really? (facehoof) I really have no more brain for that sentence.
Joy: That is so out of character.
Rainbow Dash shake Applejack trying to get her out of her trance, "Applejack hello somepony home?"
Fallen She can’t brain today. She has the dumb.
The farmer pony broke out of her trance and looked at Rainbow Dash, "Rainbow did y'all really mean what ya just said to me?" She asked with a concerned look.
The blue pegasus gave her a nod, "Yes... Applejack... I do mean it.... I really like being around you, talking with you, and working with you. I like you a lot Applejack!" She take Applejack hoof again.
Joy: ALL of that could still indicate friendship rather than love.
Kill: Which thus indicates the worse, inescapable pain ever... The Friendzone.
Applejack took her hoof away for Rainbow's hoofs, "Rainbow... Ah've got t'be honest with ya sugarcube!" She said with a sadness in her voice, "Y'all work hard, ya do mess up from time to time, but ya have a good heart and y'all do so much fer everypony!"
Fallen: Oh. My. God. Not only is this actually giving Applejack an accent, but... THIS IS GRAMMAR.
Kill: Hell froze over. Seven times.
Rainbow Dash felt her heart swell up like a balloon, "Applejack are... you saying that...?"
"Do not dilutions yourself sugarcube!" Said Applejack.
Fallen: OUCH.
"What you mean?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
Fallen: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
"I mean I do not I love you as you love me!" Applejack respond.
Joy: That’s a bit formal for a farm mare, don’t you think?
"But.. but!" Rainbow Dash tried to said something with a mix of sorrow and fear in his voice expecting the worst case about the rejection. She gulped.
"Rainbow do you expect me to say I love you back?" Applejack rise her voice but not in anger, "You're my best friend not my lover mare and I am not lesbian or bi... you get that sugar?"
Kill: “DURRRRR NOPE”
Applejack put her hoofs on, Rainbow Dash shoulders, "I'm straight suagar...
Fallen: ...is that supposed to mean “sugar” or “swagger?”
Kill: Yes.
Rainbow Dash that doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend... I hope you understand!"
"Thanks... for the flowers!" Applejack take the flowers that, Rainbow Dash gave her with her tail
Joy: Um...?
and walk to her house.
Rainbow Dash with a sorrow on her heart watched the farm pony leaving, "Applejack...!" She slowly muttered a she felt a tears fall of her eyes.
Fallen: That could actually be made to look pretentious. “A tear’s fall of her-” no, that’s still retarded.
Rainbow Dash hung her head in sadness as she slowly trotted and before flying away.
Kill: Did... did the story just end?
Fallen: Yep. That’s it. The story’s marked as finished, and that’s where it ends.
Joy: Thankfully!
Fallen: So. That was your first run through the riffing fields and, hopefully, your only exposure to FelixDawn radiation. Did you make it out okay?
Kill: GRAZE MUST SUFFER AS WE HAVE SUFFERED.
Fallen: ...come again?
Joy: Anyway, it was a pleasure working with you, Fallen! I hope we do this sometime soon!
Fallen: You... enjoyed this. I mean, I love doing this, but others have called me several synonyms for crazy because of it. YOU liked this?
Kill: Of course! It’s good to, ya know, just completely go ballistic on shit. This was kinda awesome, save for the mind cancer and internal bleeding.
Fallen: Well, it’s like that every time, so if you keep coming back for that, it’s your funeral.
Pinkie: (from TV) See, Primey? Everypony likes a good MST!
Fallen: I’m sure your friends would say otherwise if you asked them.
Pinkie: No way! Dashie, do you like MST’s?
Dash: (from TV) Not from the receiving end.
Fallen: I rest my case.
Dash: Still, was that so bad? You got to bash some fics you didn’t like by some guy you didn’t like with some ponies you apparently didn’t like.
Fallen: Go over that sentence again.
Dash: ...shut up. Kill, Joy, you’re free to go.
(The armory doors unlock and open.)
Joy: I’m not sure we actually needed for you to do that.
Pinkie: It’s just polite. Plus, if I didn’t, we’d have locked in Primey!
Kill: Either way, who knows? We may come back for more... Oooo, the ghosts that haunt Fallen! You know you love us.
Fallen: “Love” is a strong word. And not one I’m comfortable giving to the co-stars of the very story that made me adopt the rusty sawblades. But I’ll give you the benefit of tolerance.
Kill and Joy: Friendship it is! Peace! (exit through the door)
Fallen: Bluh.
Pinkie: Well, another joke well done! Dashie, hit the button!
(Dash pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
Kill: GRAZE MUST SUFFER AS WE HAVE SUFFERED.
Fallen: ...come again?
Joy: Anyway, it was a pleasure working with you, Fallen! I hope we do this sometime soon!
Fallen: You... enjoyed this. I mean, I love doing this, but others have called me several synonyms for crazy because of it. YOU liked this?
Kill: Of course! It’s good to, ya know, just completely go ballistic on shit. This was kinda awesome, save for the mind cancer and internal bleeding.
Fallen: Well, it’s like that every time, so if you keep coming back for that, it’s your funeral.
Pinkie: (from TV) See, Primey? Everypony likes a good MST!
Fallen: I’m sure your friends would say otherwise if you asked them.
Pinkie: No way! Dashie, do you like MST’s?
Dash: (from TV) Not from the receiving end.
Fallen: I rest my case.
Dash: Still, was that so bad? You got to bash some fics you didn’t like by some guy you didn’t like with some ponies you apparently didn’t like.
Fallen: Go over that sentence again.
Dash: ...shut up. Kill, Joy, you’re free to go.
(The armory doors unlock and open.)
Joy: I’m not sure we actually needed for you to do that.
Pinkie: It’s just polite. Plus, if I didn’t, we’d have locked in Primey!
Kill: Either way, who knows? We may come back for more... Oooo, the ghosts that haunt Fallen! You know you love us.
Fallen: “Love” is a strong word. And not one I’m comfortable giving to the co-stars of the very story that made me adopt the rusty sawblades. But I’ll give you the benefit of tolerance.
Kill and Joy: Friendship it is! Peace! (exit through the door)
Fallen: Bluh.
Pinkie: Well, another joke well done! Dashie, hit the button!
(Dash pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
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