Mystery Equestria Theater 3000
~Introduction~
Turn down your lights. (If there’s an alicorn available.)
It was early afternoon at the Ponyville Library where six good friends were mulling over, of all things, a book.
“So, Twilight, how did you come across this?” Asked Rarity, prodding the tome with her hoof.
“Well,” answered Twilight Sparkle, “Whenever I have to order books for the library’s patrons from the main branch in Canterlot…”
“Along with whatever you want.” Spike’s voice rang out from the kitchen. The purple unicorn shot the dragon a glare of dissatisfaction through the door of the kitchen before continuing on.
“Whenever I receive the order, there are always some extra books. Usually it’s older ones the main branch has to remove to make room for new arrivals, but they want to keep them in the system. A lot of times it’s something mundane; a well worn textbook, a biography of a little know stallion, or a bit of clop fiction. Things of that nature. But this…” Twilight’s hoof ran over one of the edges of the book. “THIS is something that’s a hundred times better than any of that.”
Applejack studied the front cover of the book, reading the title aloud “’Advanced Mass Teleportation Spells.’ But Twilight, don’t y’all know how to teleport already?”
Twilight shoulders slumped a bit. “Well, yes, but I can usually teleport only one thing at a time. If I try for more, there are… problems.”
“I know.” Said Rarity. “When we were being chased by those teenaged dragon hoodlums, it took you two tries before you could get us out of there.”
“That was one of the better ones.” Added Spike from the kitchen. “Usually the problems are solved by a trip to Ponyville General’s burn unit.”
“… Anyway, with this book I was able to calculate the correct magical power output while matching the harmonic wave…” Twilight glanced over at her friends to see their looks in the range of completely lost. “… I figured out was I was doing wrong.” After the chorus of ‘Ohhh, I see now’ died down, she moved on “I was teleporting all morning with Spike on my back all around town without a single incident. Well, until we appeared in front of Rainbow Dash.”
The aforementioned pony jumped in, adding to the tale in her own fashion. “Yeah, so Twilight and Spike blipped in front of me, and neither of them looked like burnt marshmallows, so I convinced her to take me along.”
Twilight sighed. “You pestered me until I said yes.”
“You still said yes. I say that was convincing.” The rainbow maned pegasus stuck her tongue out at unicorn before continuing on. “Anyways, blipping around Ponyville is pretty awesome! It’s the shortest time it’s ever taken me to get from one end to the other! So naturally we decided to see how awesome it could be.”
“No, YOU wanted to see how awesome it could be. And then you pestered me about that.”
“And then you said yes. Convinced.”
“Regardless of how it was decided…”
“Convinced.”
Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a dirty look. “REGARDLESS, I would like to see if I can try with the maximum load. And according to the book…” she flipped through pages until she found the right one. “Ah, here it is: ‘Six ponies.’”
“Is there any danger to this?” inquired Fluttershy. “I don’t want to see any pony get hurt.”
“I’m with Fluttershy on this. I don’t wind up in the middle of Hoofington. Or a wall.” Added Applejack.
Twilight continued to go through the book, rechecking calculations and equations. “Long distance teleports take either a lot of power or special talismans to make sure somepony can reach their destination. Neither of which I have. And most spells have a safety catch that prevent being teleporting into something else.”
“Well then, where are we going?” Asked Rarity.
Twilight paused for a second. “… How about Fluttershy’s Cottage? Far enough away to accurately gauge the spell, but close enough that if it breaks we’ll just wind up somewhere in Ponyville.”
Most of the rest seemed a little apprehensive at the thought of trying for that distance, even Rainbow Dash. Save for one…
“C’mon everypony, I know Twilight can do this, and she needs our help to do it!” Twilight smiled at Pinkie’s exuberance, which spread like wild fire to the rest and within moments they were all coaxing her on.
The egging and faith from her friends was all the unicorn needed. “Well then, no time like the present to try.” Twilight cocked her head towards the kitchen. “Spike? Watch the library. I should be back around dinner.” She then turned back to her friends. “Okay, everypony get into a semi-circle and join hooves.”
With the rest holding onto each other, Twilight magically flipped the pages of the book to the correct teleportation spell. Her horn flared as it aligned to it as she held an image of Fluttershy’s cottage in her head. Just as the spell was about to go off, Twilight felt something grab a hold of her magic…
“Hold on, something’s wro~” Twilight started to say before the six disappeared in a flash of purple light.
“Twilight? What was that?” asked Spike as he came out of the kitchen, just in time to see the book disintegrate into ash.
He said just four words that seemed to sum up the situation perfectly:
“… That can’t be good.”
“So, Twilight, how did you come across this?” Asked Rarity, prodding the tome with her hoof.
“Well,” answered Twilight Sparkle, “Whenever I have to order books for the library’s patrons from the main branch in Canterlot…”
“Along with whatever you want.” Spike’s voice rang out from the kitchen. The purple unicorn shot the dragon a glare of dissatisfaction through the door of the kitchen before continuing on.
“Whenever I receive the order, there are always some extra books. Usually it’s older ones the main branch has to remove to make room for new arrivals, but they want to keep them in the system. A lot of times it’s something mundane; a well worn textbook, a biography of a little know stallion, or a bit of clop fiction. Things of that nature. But this…” Twilight’s hoof ran over one of the edges of the book. “THIS is something that’s a hundred times better than any of that.”
Applejack studied the front cover of the book, reading the title aloud “’Advanced Mass Teleportation Spells.’ But Twilight, don’t y’all know how to teleport already?”
Twilight shoulders slumped a bit. “Well, yes, but I can usually teleport only one thing at a time. If I try for more, there are… problems.”
“I know.” Said Rarity. “When we were being chased by those teenaged dragon hoodlums, it took you two tries before you could get us out of there.”
“That was one of the better ones.” Added Spike from the kitchen. “Usually the problems are solved by a trip to Ponyville General’s burn unit.”
“… Anyway, with this book I was able to calculate the correct magical power output while matching the harmonic wave…” Twilight glanced over at her friends to see their looks in the range of completely lost. “… I figured out was I was doing wrong.” After the chorus of ‘Ohhh, I see now’ died down, she moved on “I was teleporting all morning with Spike on my back all around town without a single incident. Well, until we appeared in front of Rainbow Dash.”
The aforementioned pony jumped in, adding to the tale in her own fashion. “Yeah, so Twilight and Spike blipped in front of me, and neither of them looked like burnt marshmallows, so I convinced her to take me along.”
Twilight sighed. “You pestered me until I said yes.”
“You still said yes. I say that was convincing.” The rainbow maned pegasus stuck her tongue out at unicorn before continuing on. “Anyways, blipping around Ponyville is pretty awesome! It’s the shortest time it’s ever taken me to get from one end to the other! So naturally we decided to see how awesome it could be.”
“No, YOU wanted to see how awesome it could be. And then you pestered me about that.”
“And then you said yes. Convinced.”
“Regardless of how it was decided…”
“Convinced.”
Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a dirty look. “REGARDLESS, I would like to see if I can try with the maximum load. And according to the book…” she flipped through pages until she found the right one. “Ah, here it is: ‘Six ponies.’”
“Is there any danger to this?” inquired Fluttershy. “I don’t want to see any pony get hurt.”
“I’m with Fluttershy on this. I don’t wind up in the middle of Hoofington. Or a wall.” Added Applejack.
Twilight continued to go through the book, rechecking calculations and equations. “Long distance teleports take either a lot of power or special talismans to make sure somepony can reach their destination. Neither of which I have. And most spells have a safety catch that prevent being teleporting into something else.”
“Well then, where are we going?” Asked Rarity.
Twilight paused for a second. “… How about Fluttershy’s Cottage? Far enough away to accurately gauge the spell, but close enough that if it breaks we’ll just wind up somewhere in Ponyville.”
Most of the rest seemed a little apprehensive at the thought of trying for that distance, even Rainbow Dash. Save for one…
“C’mon everypony, I know Twilight can do this, and she needs our help to do it!” Twilight smiled at Pinkie’s exuberance, which spread like wild fire to the rest and within moments they were all coaxing her on.
The egging and faith from her friends was all the unicorn needed. “Well then, no time like the present to try.” Twilight cocked her head towards the kitchen. “Spike? Watch the library. I should be back around dinner.” She then turned back to her friends. “Okay, everypony get into a semi-circle and join hooves.”
With the rest holding onto each other, Twilight magically flipped the pages of the book to the correct teleportation spell. Her horn flared as it aligned to it as she held an image of Fluttershy’s cottage in her head. Just as the spell was about to go off, Twilight felt something grab a hold of her magic…
“Hold on, something’s wro~” Twilight started to say before the six disappeared in a flash of purple light.
“Twilight? What was that?” asked Spike as he came out of the kitchen, just in time to see the book disintegrate into ash.
He said just four words that seemed to sum up the situation perfectly:
“… That can’t be good.”