MPPT3K Guest Submission:
Balloons
RatherHomely, I do sincerely hope you’ll value that we’re doing this for you.
Hello to everyone of you MPPT3000 readers out there, be it an old or a new member. Names are Glassed, your friendly commentator and pre-reader, and Hydkore, a meager author of sorts, both hailing from FimFiction. So riffing... Kinda funny sport to mock others and share a laugh with all under the cloak of good humour.
While some people may say that it is in bad taste, there’s one thing we can all agree on: that this story is sick beyond belief. It feels like it can’t choose whether it wants to be gore or clop, tragedy or romance, horror or comedy. This story has it all, yet none of it. So enjoy as we, alongside with your friendly mailmare Derpy Hooves, explore this trainwreck and try our best to hold on.
Special thanks to ‘The Producer’ and ‘Nathan Traveler’ for proof-reading.
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Hydkore: (slams the archive-door open) That’s it! Glassed, this is the last time I ever partake in any of your ideas!
Glassed: Hey, it wasn’t me that told you to swim in it! At least your hair didn’t turn green this time...
Hydkore: ...I still have no clue how that happened.
Glassed: Heh, it seems like weird things happens to us all the time-(iron bars appears in the windows, the door give off a ‘click’ sound and all other exits shuts off, sealing the entire archive) ...Yeah, like that.
Pinkie: (From TV) Hi guys!
Glassed: Hi Pinkie, here for another story to use on Author?
Pinkie: (From TV) Nope, not this time.
Hydkore: (sighs) Pinkie, did you mess with the security-system again?
Glassed: Yeah, I mean- Wait, we have a security-system?
Hydkore: Of course we do!
Glassed: Why? We live in the physical representation of Fimfiction’s archive, located in the center of Ponyville. What story could possibly be important enough, that we need a high-tech security-system?
Pinkie: (From TV) Well that’s kinda why we’re here.
Glassed: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) The security-system isn’t just there to keep thieves out, but also to keep certain things in.
Hydkore: Oh no...You’re not saying...
Pinkie: (From TV) Yes. We’re gonna go through and sort out all of the worst fanfics we’ve got in the inner vault. Vault X.
Glassed: I still think that’s a cliché name for it!
Hydkore: No Pinkie! There’s a reason that we-
Pinkie: (From TV) And boy have I got a treat for the three of you!
Hydkore and Glassed: Three? (tube comes down and spits out a grey pegasus)
Derpy: ...Where am I?
Pinkie: (From TV) This is a very funny story about Pinkamena and the twins.
Enjoy... ‘Balloons’
(Buzzer goes off)
All: Let the story-sorting begin!
Balloons
Glassed: You know, this title doesn’t really strike me as ‘horrific’.
Hydkore: Neither did ‘Cupcakes’.
Glassed: Touche.
By vampader
Glassed: New and improved Vampader, gets rid of all the garlic-stains!
Hydkore: Buy yours today and get an Anti-Cross device for 50% off!
Derpy: And just because we like you a lot, here’s a free raincoat against holy-water!
“Hey Pinkie, time to baby-sit!” Mr. Cake called out to the 2nd floor of sugar cube
corner. It was Tuesday. The day Pinkie had agreed to take care of the 2 infant foals, and
let the Cakes go out on a date.
Derpy: Wow, I can smell the dumb on the horizon...
Glassed: Doesn’t help at all that there’s three of us here.
“Be right there!” she shouted back trying to catch Poundcake, who was flying
away from her. ”Its bottle time! Oh, what’s the point.” she said in defeat
Hydkore: Fatality!
as she sat on her rump and looked down at the floor. Its been a week since her first babysitting job with the twins and she hasn’t fully tamed them yet.
Glassed: Yeah, babies are always nasty creatures.
Hydkore: Agreed.
Derpy: (sighs) Guys...
But they have been cooperating a lot better since then, except obviously, not now.
“uhhh, Pinkie… is everything alright up there?” Shouted back Mr. Cake with a hint
of nervousness in his voice.
Derpy: And just a tiny hint of lemon.
Pinkie came walking down the stairs with her head low, and her hopes even lower.
Mr. Cake gave her a surprised look before asking what was wrong. She sighed and
handed him the baby bottle which was for Poundcake. She walked over to the couch and
laid down with her hooves over her eyes. “ Pinkie?” he siad with distress.
“I’m fine Mr. Cake. I just need a nappy wappy, *yawn*.”
Derpy: A what?
Hydkore: Sounds like a sandwich.
she smacked her lips before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep.
Mr. Cake was confused for Pinkie was never tired!
Glassed: Ahh, the wonders of caffeine pills.
Hydkore: Ugh, cannot stand coffee...
He walked over to Pinkies lain body to see if she was actually sleeping, or just playing one of her usual jokes.
Hydkore: Yes, playing dead is always a laugh and a half...
When he got there he knew she was sound asleep, she would be smiling if she were playing around.
How strange.. He tapped her shoulder with his hoof lightly, as to wake her up soundly.
“ Huh. Oh, sorry. I guess I stayed up too late last night with Twi. We read book,
after book, after book, after book…”
Derpy: (in a very casual tone) Uh-huh, we buy that all the way.
“uh, uh, Yeah, I get it. Well, are you sure you can baby sit our little ginger snaps?”
he said with a face that showed complete nervousness. He quickly remembered how the
last time he left Pinkie there with them, she had been very responsible. The worried look
soon transformed into a confident one.
Hydkore: Whose look transformed? I thought Mr. Cake’s face looked ‘nervous’.
Derpy: Don’t start that now, or we’ll never get done.
“No Problemo!” she said with an instant smile on her face. “ But first I need to
tickle my pickle…” she squeaked, realizing what she had just said.
All: …
Glassed: Derpy, is that a mare-thing?
Derpy: Umm...
Hydkore: There are borders between what we, as men, should know Glassed.
Mr. Cake just gave her a an odd look.
Everypony knew not to question Pinkies randomness.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Oh Pinkie, you’re so random.
Hydkore: Are we seriously already relying on memes?
If only he knew what books I was reading last night! She quickly dashed off for the bathroom.
She anxiously turned around to look at her guardians face as to make sure he didn’t know what she was talking about, then quickly slammed the door shut.
“ Ummm, well, me and Mrs. Cake will be out for a while, we’ll probably be here
tomorrow morning. But since we know how responsible you are, we trust you can do
ok… ok?”
“oki doki loki!”
Derpy: Just what is th-
Glassed: Let it go, otherwise we’ll be here all day and night.
She said really fast through the closed door.
“Well, she’s waiting outside for me, so I have to go now. Have fun and take care
of our little Cakie Wakies!” he said, finishing with a baby voice to his children who were
now down stairs doing what they do best. Chewing, and pounding.
Glassed: Bow chika bow wow!
Derpy: (groans) Oh you did not just do that...
He kissed them each on the forehead, gave his goodbyes along with Mrs. Cake who just walked in, and then left.
Once the door closed the tiny siblings turned from sweet, innocent, angels, to
crying, screaming, hormonal little demons! The little magical hormones
Hydkore: My Little Magical Hormones.
Glassed: DNA is Magic.
that were. Pumpkin Cake were starting to show as she was levitating objects around the room in
circles. Pound Cakes was smashing the popsicle stick house he and Pinkie had made a few
days ago. Both were still not used to their parents being gone, and Pinkie was also not
used to being completely responsible.
In the bathroom, Pinkie was looking at herself in the mirror, making goofy faces,
when she should be outside trying to calm the babies. But these weren’t the usual faces
she makes. These ones were more of a seductive type than a funny type.
All: ...
She was changing facial expressions every second, and each one would be as equally sexy as the last one. She stopped randomly to peek out the keyhole to see the babies. They were still throwing their monstrous temper tantrum out there. Anyways, she went back to the mirror to
continue. She usually loved making faces to the babies, in fact, that’s what could’ve
calmed them down right now, but she could not show them this profile. But she wanted to
do it so badly, and being home alone with only a few babies was the perfect time to do it.
She started rubbing her coat.
Glassed: (rubs temples) And here we go...
She used her left hoof to rub the sides of her neck up and down, and used her right to stroke her top chest. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back to face the ceiling, breathing a little harder than before. She continued what she was doing but opened one eye to lean towards the keyhole again. The 2 babies were calming down now, still crying, but not being destructive at least. Satisfied with their status, she resumed feeling herself with an intensity in her hooves.
Derpy: At least she’s keeping an eye on the babies...
Glassed: Are you seriously defending this story?
She brought her left hoof down to her chest now to start rubbing in circles on the left half, while her right hoof was rubbing circles on the right half. She was doing exactly what the ponies in Twilights book did. Humph! I want to read more! She scarcely remembered what happened next
since she wasn’t much of a reader, and got to the good parts of the story.
Hydkore: Pony sutra?
Glassed: And they say I make bad jokes...
She brought her right hoof down to her haunches. She was planning on slowly
spreading them apart and rubbing them, but she wanted to go to the part where Twilight
blushed when reading aloud to her.
Pinkie shoved her hoof right into her unprepared, dry pussy of hers.
All: …(unnecessary whistling)
She skipped the whole clit rubbing and lip massaging and went straight for penetration.
Hydkore: With what? Her hoof? Auch...
She was so tight at the moment that she wasn’t even ready to slide her hoof in
and out, all she could do was dig deeper and deeper into her dark passage.
Glassed: I can’t hear you, it’s too dark in here!
She was giving slight whimpers, as she inched deeper, vaginal lining squeezing her
foreleg. Once she felt deep enough she started pulling out. This time faster. She pushed it
back in, not as fast as pulling it out, but much faster than when she first invaded herself.
She started getting a rhythm down after a few slides and began moaning quietly.
“When I was a naughty filly and the Cakes were going out…
Glassed: Tell me she’s not...
I used that time alone to do something I read about…
Hydkore: She is...
I ran into the bathroom, to do what I saw…
But Twi said that wasn’t the way, well who listens to her at all…
Derpy: Then what is?
I’m gonna buck me, until I start to cry…
I’ll see that I can have fun just like the mares who love their rear!”
Hydkore: I can’t tell if this is funny or disturbing...
She was singing this in a low voice so that the babies couldn’t repeat it. She didn’t
want them to know these dirty things. But she had no problem exposing herself to them,
even though Twilight said nopony, no matter how old, should read, say, do, or even think
about the things in those types of books. But that didn’t matter anymore. She was singing
faster and faster, while her sliding had been going faster and faster!
Glassed: Gotta go fast! Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, Pinkie X!
She was penetrating herself vigorously to the point where she was squirming everywhere. She even started kicking her legs,
Hydkore: With what?!
Derpy: Just how is she sitting/standing/laying?
and arching her back against the toilet she was now sitting on. She kept going, harder, faster, stronger! She kept going and going, her biceps in her foreleg were getting very tense, her vulva becoming very red and raw. Her face was scrunched up with a bubble in her cheeks, trying to hold in her breath until the best part came. She knew it would be soon, the book said so. Harder, Faster, Stronger. HARDER, FASTER, STRONGER.HARDER! FASTER! STRONGER!!
Hydkore: Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
“ ahhhhhhhhhh!” she wailed at the top of her lungs as fluid started gushing out of
her blazing red pussy.
Glassed: IT’S ON FIRE!
She yanked her hoof out of the now loose passage to let it cool down. Feeling is a lot better than reading…
Derpy: In this case, I agree completely.
Glassed: You aren’t alone, dear.
5:38 P.M.
Derpy: Oh look at the clock, it’s time for me to go home now!
Hydkore: (grabs Derpy’s tail) Nice try, we’re still locked in though.
Pinkie was filling the bottles with milk for their dinner. She felt complete for the day, all she had to do was pleasure herself to get rid of the stress. New and rejuvenated she went to the dining room to find the little foals playing normal. She handed each one of them a bottle and let them drink away.
Hydkore: (breath of relief) Whew, at least that awful clopping is over.
Glassed: I’ve read worse...
Derpy and Hydkore: (scoots over)
Maybe once isn't enough? She shook her head after she realized what she was
thinking. Once is enough. I need to be responsible. After thinking that she heard Pumpkin
Cake coughing. “oh, no!” she forgot to burp the baby. Not only did she forget to burp
her, but she forgot how to burp her!
Glassed: (slaps his cheeks) Oh noes! Its not like she couldn’t, I dunno, ask for help?!
Hydkore: From whom, may I ask?
Derpy: Friends, Neighbours, your local mailmare...
She picked up Pumpkin and was walking in circles. “what do I do, what do I do?!” She laid the baby down on her back and started repeatingly beating her tummy.
Glassed: Now, I’m not an expert on babies, but...
Hydkore: Save it, friend. It’s not worth it...
This only made matters worse for she started crying louder, until she couldn’t scream any longer. All that came up next was green, chunky puke which sprayed out all over Pinkies face.
All: And filthy Pinkie Pie says...
“ EWW!”
All: And disgusted us says “EWW!” as well.
This only made Pinkie punch harder on the foals belly, which only made the puke spurt out further, which in turn made her punch harder.
Glassed: Oh look, it’s a fountain-(gets slapped by Derpy)
This process continued until she started hearing Poundcake crying. She stopped to
look at him. But he wasn’t just crying over needing to burp.
Hydkore: My shitstorm sense is tickling...
Glassed: Like a pickle?
Derpy: It’s not funny!
She found him doing something she would never expect.
Hydkore: Planning to take over the world?
Glassed: Playing with knives?
Derpy: Washing the dishes?
All: Doing math?!
He was pounding on his ball sack full force.
Glassed and Hydkore: (holds their crotches)
Every thrust would make more blood squirt out the holes that formed during the self beating.
Hydkore: (falls out of chair)
Glassed: (faints)
Derpy: (groan) Guys...
Pinkie quickly grabbed his arm to make him stop, but all this led to was him pounding her face, with his free hoof. Then he went back to obliterating his scrotum.
Hydkore: (climbs back over to the chair) Wh-wha?
Glassed: (holds his head) Wow, I had a bad dream whe-
Derpy: (facehoof) Sorry Glassed, it’s still here.
All through this, Pumpkin started crawling with what energy she had left to
Poundcake. She, of course, started chewing. Its what she chewed that’s the problem.
All: Oh no...
One of the holes in his sack was big enough for her to stick her hoof in,
Glassed and Hydkore: (jaws drop down)
Derpy: This is not how pony-anatomy works!
Hydkore: But in human-anatomy... (shiver)
and grab the testicle itself. She kept yanking it until the cord snapped. Poundcake, not feeling the bit of pleasure he thought he would get, started pounding even harder on himself determined to
feel as good as he saw Pinkie earlier that day.
Glassed: He saw her? How? She was locked in the bathroom!
Hydkore: Either a case of forgotten line, the writer misinterpreted or just the usual case of ‘Who-gives-a-fuck-it’s-about-balls-being-chewed!’
Derpy: That’s ‘the usual’?
Glassed: Here in Vault X, it is.
Hydkore: Wish I could just go to Vault Z to read all of the TwiDash clop knighty has stored there...
Pumpkin, getting over the earlier beating, was enjoying the small, ovalish, salty testicle. She even bit down harder at times so that it could squirt undeveloped semen in her mouth.
Glassed: (unsure look) You wanna do it, Hydkore?
Hydkore: (sighs) Oh look, she got more than she could chew for...
Derpy: Originality at its best people!
Pinkie sat up, and got her senses back. She looked at the 2 hurting each other.
Hydkore: Well she took a while. Guess the caffeine pills are wearing off.
She quickly took out the testicle out Pumpkins mouth and put it to the side, and to stop
Poundcake, she grabbed both of his front hooves to pin him down. “STOP! Okay? Just
calm down.” she slowly let go. To her surprise he did stop. “ Now stay here.”
The next thing he saw was a pink blur, and then Pinkie appeared with a stapler. How she
did it that fast, only Celestia knows.
Glassed: (calls up Celestia) How’d she do it?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. I don’t have to explain it.
Back to the story,
Derpy: We left at some point?!
she grabbed his decapitated testicle from the floor and squeezed it back in the ripped scrotum.
Glassed: Why does it hurt to read?!
Rainbow: (from TV) Whenever a reader sees something that he or she can relate to, they automatically send signals to the mind asking for that specific feeling to be sent throughout the body. This only works for very traumatic experiences and in this ca-
Glassed: Why does it hurt to listen?!
Every time she pushed more blood would trickle out the other small holes that speckled the sack.
Hydkore: Wait, there’s more than one hole?
Glassed: 18 to be specific.
She was finally able to get in there, except at a price. His teste was placed sideways and only made it more painful for him.
Hydkore: Hmm...Glassed, how did your last teste go by the way?
Glassed: I got an F, and it was for reading this story.
She started sweating,” So this is how it feels to be a surgeon.”
Derpy: Cupcakes -refrence?
Hydkore: Either that or ‘Operation’...
Once it was in she picked up the stapler with slow, and precisely. She closed one of her eyes as to judge the perfect angle and distance to perform her next move. She raised the bottomless stapler to swing down and attach both sides of his ripped sack together. It was for keeping his free teste inside, and that’s exactly what it did, but it also stapled his small lump of skin to the
floor beneath him.
Glassed: I wonder if this is what Doc. House works with all day... I don’t understand surgery...
“WAHHHH! WAAAAHHH!WAH, WAH, WAHHHHH!” the crying would not
stop. Pinkie didn’t know what to do,
Hydkore: Err, I dunno. Maybe you should GET THAT STAPLER OUT!
Derpy: Hyd’, you’re shouting...
Hydkore: (sigh) Sorry, but this!
Pinkie: (from TV) Don’t worry, the archive is soundproof, fireproof, waterproof, lightproof, weatherproof, explosionproof and Hydkoreproof.
Glassed: Too bad it’s not Pinkieproof...
Hydkore: What was that last one?
and unknowingly of the physics of how a staple works, she picked up Poundcake only to lift him up a few inches.
Derpy: Ugh, this is just silly, right guys?
“Are you glued to the ground or what silly?” She said before using all of her force
to rip him off the floor. “ That’s more like it… what’s that?” she looked down to the
ground where he was just laying at, and saw a huge flap of skin stapled to the ground,
along with a small white object that Pumpkin eventually came to start chewing again.
Glassed: Get me a bucket, ASAP!
Hydkore: (mumbles from the bucket) Too late...Use your cap.
“uh, oh.” she picked up Poundcake above her head to check something.” Just as I
thought…” He had no scrotum now. All he had was a red and black void right under his
tiny ding-a-ling, along with one teste still being held by its cord that went up the void.
“Okay, just fly there. Don’t sit down!” she was now extremely worried and tried
her best to pull out the scrotum from the ground.
Glassed: Looking like a fool with the scrotum on the ground!
All she did though was create more tiny rips through it. Tears started forming in her eyes, because she was clueless on what to do, she needed help with these two.
Derpy: Again, you’d only need to call your local mailmare for some perfectly safe time travel trips.
Hydkore: You really ought to have Whooves patent that damn thing.
She stood up and walked to the door only to get smacked in the back of the head.
Half unconscious, she was able to see Poundcake on top of her belly staring down
at her with a devilish grin. She blacked out.
Glassed: I think this is the perfect time for a break, don’t you two agree?
Derpy and Hydkore: YES!
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Hydkore: What do I do with this bucket? (tube comes down and sucks it up) ...Oh...
Glassed: (looks up) Where the hell does that even come from?
Derpy: House renovation; don’t you recall how you wanted to have those travel tubes?
Glassed: My best idea to date!
Hydkore: *cough* Futurama *cough*
Pinkie: (from TV) Okay, break it up guys. So, any thoughts to share?
Glassed: We’re gonna be raiding the brain-bleach storage later.
Hydkore: We have one of those?
Glassed: Forget what I said earlier, THAT was my best idea to date!
Derpy: (facehoof) Anyways, this story... Look, do the people need us to tell what’s wrong with it?
Pinkie: (From TV) Go ahead!
Derpy: (takes a long inhale of air) Well...
Glassed: Hang on Derpy, let me and Hydkore sum it up.
Hydkore and Glassed: (takes a long inhale of air) THIS IS STUPID! THIS IS STUPID!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, [x14]. STUPIIID!! STUPID!! IT'S SO INCREDIBLY STUPID!! THIS IS THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!! GOD, HORSE, ASS, WHOLE PACK OF SHIT!! STUPID SHIT! THIS IS STUPID SHIT!!! ASS, BUCKFACE, DICKHEAD, ASSHOLE, YOU IN THE ASS FUCKED HARD!! STUPID!! IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLY STUPID!! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT [x12]. ASS!! ASS, WHORE, ASS, SHIT, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, MOTHER-
(Buzzer goes off)
All: Let the story-sorting resume!
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The light was creeping in through her eyes, but it was still blurry.
Hydkore: (stands in a pose with a plastic sword) Darkness is coming...
She could make out Pumpkin laying on her chest… chewing on a sphere of some kind… an eyeball! It was connected to the nerve still, she followed its direction. It led up her chest and further.
Glassed: I may be stupid, but I know a thing or two about anatomy. The string isn’t more than a few centimeters long, and therefore it would onl- (gets slapped by Derpy)
Derpy: Don’t make this session longer than it needs to be!
She reached a tired, limp hoof up to feel a hole with a string pulled out where her left eye used to be.
Hydkore: (stands up) That’s it! Cannot take this shit anymore!
Derpy: Wait, Hyd’. What are you-
Pinkie: (from TV) Aww, don’t be such a party-pooper.
Hydkore: I... don’t... car- (tries to break down the door and gets electrocuted)
Derpy: ...Wow.
Glassed: Be glad he didn’t try that in Vault Y. That door has acid in it...
Hydkore: (still spazzing out on the floor)
“ eye cant see…hehe.” she said with a weak, hoarse voice,” get it.”
Glassed: And you told me my puns were bad...
Hydkore: Oh they are, but this is pretty bad as well.
she started coughing hard. Her lungs burned with every push, and blood that puddled in her throat came out with the mucus. In fact she coughed so hard that Pumpkin fell off with the
eyeball still in mouth. Pinkie’s brain felt like it was just tugged, well, it was. This was worse than any headache she ever felt.
At least this woke her brain up so she can feel what else they
Hydkore: (cocks eyebrow)They? Isn’t that kinda jumping to conclusions?
did to her unconscious body.
Glassed: Date-rape.
Actually, that did more bad than good, but she couldn’t help that. If she could just forget this ever happened and die, she would. But she cant.
She looked at the clock on the ceiling to see how long this pain would last.
Glassed: “Still 10 more minutes of pain.”
8:03 P.M.
Glassed: (looks at Derpy) Well come on, say your thing.
Derpy: I don’t wanna get electrocuted...
Hydkore: (spazzes one last time)
, it was still so early! She was going to have to go through the whole night like
this. “ Poundcake… your in big…*coughing*… trouble.”
Glassed: Oh, bucking is nothing compared to coughing when it comes to being in trouble!
she tried to pick herself up only to feel a numbing pain in between her legs. “ow!” she bent her back to look down at her pleasure spot. It didn’t look pleasurable at all.
Her labia was painted black and blue with bruises.
Derpy: Remember what you said about me never knowing how much hurt a single sentence could bring? I know now...
Glassed and Hydkore: (sniff) Welcome to the gang.
Poundcake must have done this.
Hydkore: “Oh, and that dumb Glassed!”
But that was it thankfully. She got up again. She winced once she picked up her hind legs,
but once she stood completely up she was able to block out the pain.
Derpy: (rolls the dice) Congrats Pinkie. You were successfully able to cast ‘Block-out-the-pain’ spell... Wait, wha?
Glassed: (To Pinkie) If I roll a 20, can I go?
Pinkie: (From TV) Sure!
Glassed: (rolls and gets a 3) Oh... What now?
Pinkie: (From TV) Now you get sucked up through one of the travel tubes to your worst nightmare!
Glassed: Wha-(gets sucked up)
“Pumpkin. Huh… Where did Poundcake go?” Pumpkincake bit down on the eyeball. “ Oki dok…” she didn’t have the energy to finish.
Derpy: We don’t either...
She just walked. She didn’t go over to the door like she knew she should, no, she went upstairs to find Poundcake.
“Hello?” she went up the stairs to find the little rascal, at least that’s what she
thought of him.He deserves a spanking.
Hydkore: Only spanking?
Only spanking?
Hydkore: ...Creepy.
Well, Pinkie thought they didn’t know any better. Well, she found him.
He hung upside down from his room. He got up there by flying, but how is he still
up there without flapping his wings. Oh, that’s how. His body was dangling from his 2
inch, soft, yet stretched penis.
(A scream is heard from somewhere in the archive)
Derpy: At least we’re not the only ones suffering...
His head was nailed to the ceiling and there was a hammer on the floor.
Hydkore: Nailed to the ceiling from where? What, do the nails travel through his skull?
Derpy: Wrong head.
Hydkore: What do you... (eyes widen) Oh... Oh my...
“oh my! Poundcake, why would you do that?” she walked over to him and pulled him down. His head stopped at the nub on the nail, but that didn’t stop her from pulling.
Hydkore: (facedesk) Pinkie, don’t you learn from your mistakes?
Pinkie: (from TV) Hmm....nah.
Rainbow: (from TV) Wrong meme, Pinkie.
She was able to pull hard enough to pull out the nail along with the foal with a disguise of cuteness. She held him in her forelegs and rocked his sleeping body back and forth. “ your so cute… and red, oh wait, that’s just me.” Her right eye was starting to tear up with blood. The irises themselves were black with dried, internal blood.
(Tube comes down and spits out Glassed covered in black stuff)
Hydkore and Derpy:(look at each other and then at Glassed) …Do we want to know?
Glassed: No.
She laid the still impaled baby into his crib and headed back downstairs to get
Pumpkin. This night will probably change every one of her friends profiles of her.
Rainbow: (from TV) Nah, I think we’d be totally cool with this.
Cupcakes wasn’t nearly as bad as this...
But she figured when its all said and done, they would all be laughing at it. She liked laughing.
“Hahahaha. This is funny, really funny! Hahahhahahaha!”
Derpy: Entering the ring, Pinkamena Diane Pie!
she started laughing maniacally as her usually cute, puffy air went down to straight, intimidating locks of insanity.
Glassed: Sanity-locks? Isn’t that from Journey to my Imagination?
Hydkore: You honestly think that that story would take anything from this horror-filled mess of a narrative?
She walked back down to get Pumpkin and have some fun with her.
Glassed: Bow chika bow wo-(gets slapped by Hydkore and Derpy) WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND GETTING SLAPPED?!
She picked up some scissors on her way down.
Hydkore: To cut paper for birthday gifts. What else they could be for?
Glassed: Well to cut those nasty bills.
12:52 A.M. Pinkie had spent hours staring at the 2 fillies in their cribs. Earlier she
had took Pumpkin to her room without doing anything harmful. She had to think about
her next actions, not determining if what she is about to do is right or wrong. But to figure
out how she could get the most fun out of them.
Glassed: And in the end, isn’t that what counts the most?
Derpy: I can imagine a lot of fun in prison...
She replayed the same images in her head over and over again. Each time no different than the last. When was she going to start. Not even Celestia could tell, let alone help this demented pony.
Glassed: (calls Celestia) True or false?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. I don’t have to explain it. Now let me continue my royal obligations. (The words ‘Finish him’ are heard from the background)
Pumpkin started to cry a bit,
Derpy: And then another bit, and another, and another, until Pinkie was the richest pony in Equestria.
something all young foals do at night. It was time…
Hydkore: To end this story! Bye! (gets electrocuted by door)
Derpy: (sigh) Doesn’t he learn?
Glassed: Meh, I think he won’t be trying it for the third time.
Pumpkin kept making little whimpers and opened her eyes to see a pink pony with
a snake tooth grin worse than Discord, who literally had a snake tooth. Seeing this made
what it would make any pony do…
Glassed: Scream for help?
Hydkore: Jump in joy?
Derpy: Stop reading this fanfic?
cry.
All: Oh...
Pinkie slammed her hoof on her body so that she couldn’t move.
Derpy: Why? She’s a baby and crying.
All: (recalls what happened first time around)
Glassed: Sounds legit enough.
Pinkie knew she was good with magic so to make sure she didn’t do anything funny,
Glassed. See, Pink- I’m sorry, Pinkamena agrees with me.
she spread the scissors open and detached the still fragile horn. She threw it to the side for later. For now, she wanted to use the scissors a lot more.
Pumpkin’s crying at night always waked up the neighbors, but this wasn’t your
average crying. But the way Pumpkin was screaming, you would’ve swore she was being
tortured… well she was.
Hydkore: Oh, so I wasn’t just imagining it. Thank you vampader, you sultan of knowledge!
Pinkie already knowing what to do grabbed the sleeping Poundcake
All: ...
Glassed: ...Erm...
Derpy: Well...
Hydkore: Face it, she’s completely nuts by this point.
and used the nail that was still pierced through his head
Hydkore: That head thing still bugs me...
to stab it through both her lips. His head was running up her left nostril. Pumpkin now could only breathe through one nostril. It didn’t help that she was a baby and had tons of mucus stored inside.
Pinkie, satisfied with how things are working so far goes to the next step in her
premeditated homicide.
Derpy: ‘Premedicated’? Pinkie’s on medication?
Pinkie: (From TV) I am?!
Hydkore: ‘Premeditated’ Derpy. There’s a difference.
Pinkie: (From TV) I’m meditating?
Hydkore: (groans)
She opened the scissors so that she can fit only one blade up Pumpkins extremely tight vagina.
Glassed: Remember when I said I had read worse clop? Forget that...
Hydkore: What about mrhappyface?
She shoved the 4 inch blade really fast so that the lining would get cut and bleed. But she didn’t need a blade to make her bleed. She obviously was a virgin
Hydkore: I’d never have guessed.
and still had a cherry to pop,
Glassed: Suddenly I’m both hungry and disgusted.
Hydkore: Why am I suddenly thinking about a certain teacher mare?
Glassed: Nice reference. I believe Cheerilee’s Garden is in here somewhere...
Hydkore: (drools) But she’s still the best...
Derpy and Glassed: (scoots over)
or for Pinkie, to stab repeatedly. Pinkie slid it in and out faster and faster with each second.
Hydkore: No Glassed! No Sonic-jokes!
The baby couldn’t help but squirm in place while Pinkie got off at doing this. In fact, Pinkie wished she didn’t nail her mouth shut so she can hear the babies screaming.
“Now for step 2!” She said in a voice that was from a demon itself.
Derpy: What demon? There’s lots of different demons with different voices. It all depends on how you-(sees Glassed and Hydkore looking at her)-Ehm... Never mind.
She used the 2nd blade of the scissors to anally penetrate her, and now instead of sliding she was going to cut through the prostate.
All: (backs away)
This would be very easy since her bones were still made of cartilage. It took all but a few snips to connect her rectum and uterus. Pinkie shoved her hoof in to pull out one of her ovaries. The thing was so tiny, but it will have to do. “Chew on this you little buck face!”
Glassed: I can’t help but read that in Bruce Willis’s voice.
She slid her lips through the nail so that they can slightly part, and shoved her
ovary in her mouth. She closed it and forced chewed her. The moving of the jaw caused
the sleeping Poundcake to arise. “Right on cue.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. What the buck!! This was not in her plan.
Pinkie: (From TV) DAMN IT! Foiled again!
Who could’ve been knocking at this time. Pinkie’s evil face turned grew a nervous profile.
Derpy: “I’m a single mare from Ponyville looking for a good stallion, I mean- Eep!”
Glassed: I don’t think it was that kind of profile, but whatever.
She galloped down to answer. She had to act normal. My eye! Pinkie went to her chest full of nightmare night costumes to put on an eye patch from a past pirate costume. It was Pinkie. No one would be suspicious.
Hydkore: It’s a sad day when that’s actually true...
Glassed: That’s the first time this story have actually made sense!
Knock. Knock. Knock. “ I’m coming!”
Derpy: Bow chika bow wow!
Glassed: You have learned well, young padamare (brohoofs/fists Derpy)
she shouted washing the blood off of her hooves. She had made sure she stapled Poundcakes lips and wings together before she left so that they couldn’t give her away.
Derpy: Like this won’t seriously backfire somehow!
Hydkore: Aaaaand how come she leaves them in open? I’m sure there’s a closet of sorts around.
Glassed: I think they’re upstairs, but it’s still a stupid plan.
She breathed in her hoof to smell her breath. Smells like crap… literally.
Glassed: I have those mornings as well...
She took a peppermint. She looked at the door. She shook her head to get her head in the game and stay cool. She opened the door.
“Noponys here!” she slammed the door shut.
Hydkore: (raises hand) Umm, may I ask but WHY DID SHE OPEN IT IF SHE SLAMS IT CLOSE ANYWAYS?!
Glassed: Nopony here but us chickens!
“Pinkie. Its me twilight!
Derpy: Twilight? At midnight?... Oh, the pony! I thought the sun was setting twice!
Hydkore: Would have made as much sense as some of the other parts of this story.
Can you open the door?”
“umm.” Pinkie sat there for about 2 minutes thinking of a plan.
“Uhh, hello?” Twilight had a hint of nervousness in her voice.
Derpy: And just a hint of garlic.
Pinkie likey.
“Come on in Twi.” she said opening the door and lifted her foreleg and motioned
inside. Twilight, completely oblivious to Pinkies insanity walked in worry free.
Hydkore: One does not simply walk into Sugarcube Corner!
Glassed: (mimics Twilight) “Just another night at Sugarcube Corner.”
“I’m sorry I came so late, but I had a lot to study today, and I know you think
you’re responsible, but I just came to make sure.”
Pinkie twitched at the word ‘responsible’.” You still don’t think I’m responsible?”
Hydkore: Its not like this is totally my second time taking care of these things.
“No, its not that. I just came to see how good you were at responsibility! If that
makes sense to you.”
“Now you’re saying I’m dumb!”
Twilight face hoofed,” no Pinkie, just… can I see the babies.”
Glassed: Tara Strong would be proud, vampader.
Hydkore: You know, there’s something that’s been bothering me from the beginning. Isn’t it ‘foals’ not ‘babies’?
Derpy: Stop questioning this story!
Pinkie grew a mischievous smile, “ Well who wouldn’t love to see those little
angels. Lets go upstairs. Wait…I need to get something from the freezer.”
“umm, okay, I’ll be waiting upstairs. Oh yeah…about those books last night…”
“Say no more. Say no more. You’re Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got it covered.”
Twilight started blushing and slowly walked up the steps, bouncing her rump left
to right, imitating what she had read in those stories.
Hydkore: So that’s why Twilight’s there.
Glassed: Why?
Hydkore: (pats Glassed’s head) You’ll understand when you’re older.
Glassed: ...I’m 3 years older than you!
Once Twilight got up the stairs where Pinkie wouldn’t see her, she stopped her strutting. Its actually very uncomfortable. She made her way past Pinkies room, where she hopes some fun will happen.
Glassed: (thinks for couple minutes) Aha, now I get it!
Derpy: Also, what happened to the tense- No, now I’m doing it as well! Everypony stop asking questions!
But she needed to see the babies and how they were doing. She slowly slipped the door open preparing to find 2 little sleeping angels. All she could see though, was a blanket with a
large, shaking lump.
Derpy: Wait, a blanket? Where did that blanket come from?
Glassed: (calls Celestia) Explain?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. Do I need to say it anymore?
Twilights became afraid, and her heart started beating faster than any metal band could play the drums.
Hydkore: Oh yes, ‘cause metal bands are a common thing in a land of rainbow coloured ponies.
Glassed: Twilight’s Heart presents: Through the Fire and Flames.
She lifted the cover with her magic to find the most horrid thing she’s ever seen in her life. In any ponies life.
Derpy: Most ponies believes in reincarnation, so that’s a lot of lives...
Twilights eyes could not stop staring at the twins mutilated, attached bodies. Her
jaw dropped as she slowly crept backwards still looking at them struggling to survive.
Pumpkin being in the worst condition since her only free nostril had mucus coming out in
bubbles. Twilight started to shed small tears and her breathing became faster. She walked
back faster, faster, faster, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER , STOP!
Glassed: (makes puppy-eyes to Hydkore)
She couldn’t scoot backwards any farther for she felt a stopping motion within her
anal cavity.
All: Wut?
The force was cold… sharp… dry… big. Twilight looked back to see Pinkie
holding something in her anus with one hoof, using the other one to shove a knife in her
spinal cord. Twilight became paralyzed, but still feeling everything that happened to her.
“How nice to have company over. Right, Alaskan Bull Worm!”
All: …
Glassed: Bulls-eye! (Derpy bucks Glassed through the roof)
She pulled out the makeshift dildo out of Twilights anus and showed it to her face.
Hydkore: Ass to mouth rule? (looks hopingly at Derpy) Come on, not bad enough?
Hydkore: ...Nevermind...
Glassed: I’m...back...bitches...
"Why yes! I love anal penetration!" said Pinkie using a manly voice, pupils
getting small and running towards the back of her head.
Derpy: Now those are some some pupils!
Hydkore: Wish my pupils could do the same right now...
“ Hey Twilight. Wanna know how I made him?” no reply, “Well, since you want to know so much I’ll let you in on my secret.” She went right to Twilights ear and whispered seductively in her ear. “ First I got balloons.
Hydkore: Our title ladies and gentlemen!
Something that makes everything fun, then I took a dump in it! HAHA!
Glassed: I hate to point this out, but I thought it was an Alaskan Bull Worm...
Hydkore: Who gives a ‘shit’? (Glassed and Hydkore highfives)
That was fun too.
Derpy: This story is against me...
Then I put in the freezer so it can harden, trust me, it doesn’t work if its not frozen. Unless you want to eat it. Than its awesome! Twilight, can I eat your feces? Why thank you, how kind.”
Glassed: (throws his chocolate-bar away)
Hydkore: Reminds me of ‘The Human Centipede’...
Glassed: (tries to break down the door and gets electrocuted)
Derpy: ...I’m...I’m speechless.
Hydkore: At this point, that’s a good escape from this story.
She pulled the knife out and flipped Twilight over. She took the knife and slit her
lower belly. The fresh, hot, tasty intestines were there just waiting to be played with.
Derpy: I’m just wondering if this story could be somehow salvaged?
Glassed and Hydkore: Nope.
Pinkie grabbed a random part of her small intestine and yanked it out with some tugging.
She used the knife to cut it and then pulled it out like it was some very long noodle.
Hydkore: Even the soup comes along.
Glassed: (shouts from inside the bucket) Making it right now!
After about 6 feet was pulled, she wrapped it around Twilights neck so that she could be choked and penetrated at the same time.
Derpy: …(tries the door, gets electrocuted)
Hydkore: Clever girl...
How can this happen, you might ask?
Glassed: (calls Celestia) Here yet again.
Celestia: (from phone) Okay, this is just getting ridi-(sound of spurting cake fill in) WHAT?! BACK OFF! MY BITCH PRESTIGE TOY!
Well, Pinkie flipped her on her belly again, other organs spilled out during the process. With the intestine that came out of the opening, around the neck, and held by Pinkies hoof, she lifted it up, raising Twilights head and closing her windpipe.
Derpy: Umm... Glassed, is this anatomically possible?
Glassed: I don’t know, I can’t call Celestia for some reason... I think I’ve gone over my minutes...
Pinkie let some slack so that she could breath again. She wanted her alive as long as possible.
Glassed: Live long and prosper.
Hydkore: (makes V-sign with hand)
While maneuvering the intestine with one hoof, her other was used to slowly dig Alaskan Bull Worm through her anus.
Hydkore: What? The turd dildo is suddenly inside Pinkie?
Glassed: ...OH! The turd is inside Twilight and the AB-Worm is in Pinkie! Makes perfect sense!
Derpy: What happened to make you like this?
Glassed: (sniff) I’ve had a hard life filled with bad fanfiction.
The frozen piece of crap had a lot of sharp edges on the side witch caused internal bleeding in her rectum.
Derpy: Hmm... Don’t recall seeing any witches beside Zecora around Ponyville.
Glassed: I thought she was a potion-maker?
Derpy: Who do you think taught me black ma-ehm, nevermind.
The sliding became more vigorous after a few strokes, because her inner lining gave away more and more until it was just a massive, blood gushing, abyss.
Hydkore: (grins) Oh God, it gets worse, doesn’t it?
The dildo was able to go in and out easily, the blood as a natural lubricant, and
while that was happening Twilight was still getting periodically choked. Pinkie didn’t even
know if she was alive, but that didn’t matter. Dead, alive… as long as they had fun, its
worth it in the end.
Glassed: No more live long and prosper....(sniff)
Hydkore: Goodbye Spock.
3:28 A.M. Pinkie started to get bored after 15 minutes of raping Twilight and left
her on the floor bleeding out of her anus.
Hydkore: Can only have so much fun doing anal-raping I guess...
She walked over to the twins which had cried themselves to sleep. Well, Poundcake did, Pumpkincake laid dead under her brother, having been suffocated from his tip and the nail that ran through it. Pinkie grabbed some filled balloons that she had made earlier from her room and placed anal beads on the string.
Derpy: I did wonder what those boxes I delivered for Cakes had in... Oh Celestia...This is real!
Hydkore: Relax. What do you think those boxes me and Glassed share have inside them?
Glassed: (grumbles) I thought we agreed to never speak of that again...
“you’re going to like this one Poundcake, just remember… clinch hard!” she
shoved the string in 4 beads deep. There was enough helium in the balloons to float his
body. That’s exactly what she wanted to do.
Glassed: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry...
She slid his head off the nail which she removed from Pumpkins lips. Pinkie grabbed the hammer from the ground and smashed his bottom ribs. He started wailing at the blunt contact, Pinkie didn’t bother closing his mouth. The whole town will eventually find out, might as well make it funny.
Glassed: (chuckles)
Derpy: I don’t see the funny thing here...
Glassed: Oh, just remembered a funny joke, you seriously think that I’m paying attention to what’s going on?
She was able to bend him forward enough with the broken ribs, so that she could
place his own dick in his mouth.
Hydkore: Pumpkin shall now be known as ‘Ozzy Pumpkin’.
That’s when she brought back the nail and closed his lips around his shaft. She walked over to the nearest window and let him fly. The moon was at its brightest, and if anypony were walking outside, they would’ve saw the most bizarre silhouette ever.
Glassed: Is it a bird?
Derpy: Is it a pegasus?
Hydkore: Well...In a way it is...
But Pinkie will just have to wait till morning before all her friends find out and they can laugh at how silly this all was.
She walked towards Twilight and checked her pulse,” Still alive!
Glassed: (singing) “I’m making a note here, huge success.”
I am so proud of you Twi! If you weren’t paralyzed for the rest of your life, we could laugh all night, every night, about this. Hahaha! Oh this is soooo funny!” she was speaking as if this was all a game. She had no dark, sinister voice. Just her normal, happy go lucky, squeaky, Pinkie
voice. “ Remember what these are called?” said Pinkie rubbing her labia. “ Pussy lips!
What if you combined normal lips and pussy lips! They would be called normussy lips!”
All: ...
No reply.
Hydkore: We just didn’t think it deserved any.
“ Well, I hope you like it, because if you don’t, tell me now.”
Derpy: Then I’d like to shout something here.
No reply.
Derpy: Don’t ignore me!
She squeaked with a huge smile across her face. She grabbed the knife off the floor
and started skinning her pussy lips. “AHHHHHH!”
Glassed and Hydkore: (holds their crotch)
Hydkore: This shouldn’t be happening...
Glassed: Good job vampader, you’ve written something that physically hurts both genders! Right Derpy?
she couldn’t help but scream,
Derpy: (lays fainted on the floor)
Hydkore: I think she broke...
but she loved it. The whole idea of what she’s doing just turns her on, and the pain makes it more kinky. “OH MY GOOOOOOSH!” she starts skinning the other lip. “AHHHH, AHHHH,
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHAAAA!” The last scream, was the most
horrid, uncomfortable, most demonic, bloodcurdling screams Equestria has ever
witnessed.
Hydkore: Like that one time when I put tomatoes in Glassed’s food.
Glassed: THAT WAS YOU?!
Every house in Ponyville’s lights shined. The neighbors started walking toward
their house. Pinkie saw that out the window and decided to act fast. She grabbed her
pussy lips and placed them horribly, and impatiently on her real lips.
Derpy: (wakes up) So what? One of them was fake?
Glassed: Apparently plastic-surgery is also a thing in Equestria...
She stapled the bottom and top ones. “ See, this is normussy lips! HAHa…ha…haha…” her laughter became less and less audible as she started to get sleepy.
Hydkore: I’m starting to get sleepy as well, but that’s for other reasons...
“ Here twilight, remember me with this.”
Derpy: “-Horrible fanfic.”
She handed over Alaskan Bull Worm to Twilights paralyzed body. “I’m going to fly away. It will make more of a laugh if they try to catch me. Just like those old cowpony movies.
Glassed: I don’t remember Lucky Luke or Clint Eastwood doing that...
Huh.. I’ll miss you Twilight.” She went over and kissed Twilight on the lips. Even though she was more than halfway dead, and in no control of her bodily functions, you could still see her cheeks blushing through her blood soaked, lavender coat.
Glassed: Tara shuns you Twilight!
Pinkie grabbed a few balloons and decided to fly away just like Poundcake.
Hydkore: Wait, he is outside of Sugarcube Corner?
Glassed: Got thrown out of the window, remember?
Hydkore: ...In our own words: ‘Do you expect me to pay attention?’
She stepped out the window, threw her eye patch to the ground, cracked her neck,
and limbered up.
Glassed: (turns on the radio) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCLOgMfwIXk&list
With a step of her bottom hoof she was off. The balloons together wee
able to pick her up and float her away from her friends in Ponyville. She looked into the
horizon and saw the sun rising up. 5:12 A.M. Pinkie looked down to wave at Applejack
who was just starting to get up and buck apples.
This only led to her to get tied up in the strings.
Derpy: Aha, so the real culprit behind all this is no-good Applejack!
Hydkore: You’re related to Sherclop?
Derpy: No?
Hydkore: Didn’t think so.
She started kicking and shaking violently to get out, but it only made it worse. She would struggle. Struggle just like Pumpkin, just like Poundcake, just like Twilight tried to. She was on the brink of death now.
Glassed: Wait... It’s been over five hours from since she ‘lost her energy’... You know what? Screw it! We’re almost done!
She had given her victims unimaginable torture and now she was about to feel only a
fraction of what they went through. Her lungs were internally bleeding, her face was
turning purple, She tried to breathe in, but every time she tensed her neck muscles, it
would just make the string wrap tighter around her throat. The best part is, that the reason
she died so quickly, was because she was laughing.
Hydkore: The best part of this is the ending to the story.
Her continuous laughter while being choked in mid-air was what killed her, laughter. Her element of harmony. Balloons, her cutie mark.
Glassed: (turns off the radio)
Did everypony die the way they lived? Has anypony ever truly lived? Has anypony
ever truly died? Where do we go? What did we do before we lived here? Were our cutie
marks determined before birth?
Glassed: Did we truly deserve to read this story?
Derpy: Why are we here?
Hydkore: Why haven’t we died from being electrocuted yet?
These were the questions Twilight asked herself.
All: WHAAAAAAAAAT?!
It had been years since the incident.
Glassed: Time flies by doesn't it?!
Hydkore: Glassed, for your own good, I hope you were just joking...
But not being able to talk and move really limits what you can experience in life.
Her friends don’t even come over anymore. They still love her, but how can they love a
rag doll? How can they truly understand how it felt to be like this? They couldn’t know.
They shouldn’t know. Twilight should though, Pinkie was her lover. Even though they fell
for each other in one night after reading a book, and having an insane sex experience the
next, it was all worth it to Twilight.
Glassed: I’d make a joke about being speechless, but I honestly have no words to describe this...
As long as its funny in the end, everything is alright. Maybe she was the only pony, but on the inside, she is still laughing about that night,
Hydkore: (slowly shakes head) No...
with the Alaskan Bull Worm sitting on her lap…
Hydkore: (stares at the screen)
Derpy: Hyd’?
Hydkore: (raises his fist up)
Glassed: Umm... pal, you’re seriously star-
Hydkore: (punches his fist through the monitor)
Derpy and Glassed: OH JESUS!
The End.
(another monitor comes down from the celling)
Glassed: ...Not one of my best ideas...
Pinkie: (From TV) So? Did you enjoy it?
All: …
Pinkie (From TV) I knew you would!
Derpy: Can I...can I just go home to Dinky?
Pinkie: (From TV) Of course! (door opens and lets Derpy out)
Glassed: Wait... Dinky’s staying over at Sparkler’s place today! (goes for the door, but it closes) ...Clever girl.
Hydkore: Fuck...
Pinkie: (From TV) Oh no you don’t. There’s still an entire vault to be sorted!
Glassed: (whimpers) Can’t you just let Author deal with this? We’re but mere providers of the stories for his doom.
Rainbow: (From TV) Sorry boys, but we gotta have order in the archive so we know what to give Author.
Pinkie: (From TV) Until next time. (Monitor shuts off)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hydkore: Glassed?
Glassed: Yeah?
Hydkore: I hate our job...
Glassed: (looks around the room) We’re still trapped, huh?
Hydkore: Pretty much.
Glassed: This means we have to do another story soon?
Hydkore: Yeah.
Glassed and Hydkore: (looks at each other) Motherfu-(light turns off)
Hello to everyone of you MPPT3000 readers out there, be it an old or a new member. Names are Glassed, your friendly commentator and pre-reader, and Hydkore, a meager author of sorts, both hailing from FimFiction. So riffing... Kinda funny sport to mock others and share a laugh with all under the cloak of good humour.
While some people may say that it is in bad taste, there’s one thing we can all agree on: that this story is sick beyond belief. It feels like it can’t choose whether it wants to be gore or clop, tragedy or romance, horror or comedy. This story has it all, yet none of it. So enjoy as we, alongside with your friendly mailmare Derpy Hooves, explore this trainwreck and try our best to hold on.
Special thanks to ‘The Producer’ and ‘Nathan Traveler’ for proof-reading.
----------
Hydkore: (slams the archive-door open) That’s it! Glassed, this is the last time I ever partake in any of your ideas!
Glassed: Hey, it wasn’t me that told you to swim in it! At least your hair didn’t turn green this time...
Hydkore: ...I still have no clue how that happened.
Glassed: Heh, it seems like weird things happens to us all the time-(iron bars appears in the windows, the door give off a ‘click’ sound and all other exits shuts off, sealing the entire archive) ...Yeah, like that.
Pinkie: (From TV) Hi guys!
Glassed: Hi Pinkie, here for another story to use on Author?
Pinkie: (From TV) Nope, not this time.
Hydkore: (sighs) Pinkie, did you mess with the security-system again?
Glassed: Yeah, I mean- Wait, we have a security-system?
Hydkore: Of course we do!
Glassed: Why? We live in the physical representation of Fimfiction’s archive, located in the center of Ponyville. What story could possibly be important enough, that we need a high-tech security-system?
Pinkie: (From TV) Well that’s kinda why we’re here.
Glassed: Huh?
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) The security-system isn’t just there to keep thieves out, but also to keep certain things in.
Hydkore: Oh no...You’re not saying...
Pinkie: (From TV) Yes. We’re gonna go through and sort out all of the worst fanfics we’ve got in the inner vault. Vault X.
Glassed: I still think that’s a cliché name for it!
Hydkore: No Pinkie! There’s a reason that we-
Pinkie: (From TV) And boy have I got a treat for the three of you!
Hydkore and Glassed: Three? (tube comes down and spits out a grey pegasus)
Derpy: ...Where am I?
Pinkie: (From TV) This is a very funny story about Pinkamena and the twins.
Enjoy... ‘Balloons’
(Buzzer goes off)
All: Let the story-sorting begin!
Balloons
Glassed: You know, this title doesn’t really strike me as ‘horrific’.
Hydkore: Neither did ‘Cupcakes’.
Glassed: Touche.
By vampader
Glassed: New and improved Vampader, gets rid of all the garlic-stains!
Hydkore: Buy yours today and get an Anti-Cross device for 50% off!
Derpy: And just because we like you a lot, here’s a free raincoat against holy-water!
“Hey Pinkie, time to baby-sit!” Mr. Cake called out to the 2nd floor of sugar cube
corner. It was Tuesday. The day Pinkie had agreed to take care of the 2 infant foals, and
let the Cakes go out on a date.
Derpy: Wow, I can smell the dumb on the horizon...
Glassed: Doesn’t help at all that there’s three of us here.
“Be right there!” she shouted back trying to catch Poundcake, who was flying
away from her. ”Its bottle time! Oh, what’s the point.” she said in defeat
Hydkore: Fatality!
as she sat on her rump and looked down at the floor. Its been a week since her first babysitting job with the twins and she hasn’t fully tamed them yet.
Glassed: Yeah, babies are always nasty creatures.
Hydkore: Agreed.
Derpy: (sighs) Guys...
But they have been cooperating a lot better since then, except obviously, not now.
“uhhh, Pinkie… is everything alright up there?” Shouted back Mr. Cake with a hint
of nervousness in his voice.
Derpy: And just a tiny hint of lemon.
Pinkie came walking down the stairs with her head low, and her hopes even lower.
Mr. Cake gave her a surprised look before asking what was wrong. She sighed and
handed him the baby bottle which was for Poundcake. She walked over to the couch and
laid down with her hooves over her eyes. “ Pinkie?” he siad with distress.
“I’m fine Mr. Cake. I just need a nappy wappy, *yawn*.”
Derpy: A what?
Hydkore: Sounds like a sandwich.
she smacked her lips before closing her eyes and drifting to sleep.
Mr. Cake was confused for Pinkie was never tired!
Glassed: Ahh, the wonders of caffeine pills.
Hydkore: Ugh, cannot stand coffee...
He walked over to Pinkies lain body to see if she was actually sleeping, or just playing one of her usual jokes.
Hydkore: Yes, playing dead is always a laugh and a half...
When he got there he knew she was sound asleep, she would be smiling if she were playing around.
How strange.. He tapped her shoulder with his hoof lightly, as to wake her up soundly.
“ Huh. Oh, sorry. I guess I stayed up too late last night with Twi. We read book,
after book, after book, after book…”
Derpy: (in a very casual tone) Uh-huh, we buy that all the way.
“uh, uh, Yeah, I get it. Well, are you sure you can baby sit our little ginger snaps?”
he said with a face that showed complete nervousness. He quickly remembered how the
last time he left Pinkie there with them, she had been very responsible. The worried look
soon transformed into a confident one.
Hydkore: Whose look transformed? I thought Mr. Cake’s face looked ‘nervous’.
Derpy: Don’t start that now, or we’ll never get done.
“No Problemo!” she said with an instant smile on her face. “ But first I need to
tickle my pickle…” she squeaked, realizing what she had just said.
All: …
Glassed: Derpy, is that a mare-thing?
Derpy: Umm...
Hydkore: There are borders between what we, as men, should know Glassed.
Mr. Cake just gave her a an odd look.
Everypony knew not to question Pinkies randomness.
Rainbow Dash: (From TV) Oh Pinkie, you’re so random.
Hydkore: Are we seriously already relying on memes?
If only he knew what books I was reading last night! She quickly dashed off for the bathroom.
She anxiously turned around to look at her guardians face as to make sure he didn’t know what she was talking about, then quickly slammed the door shut.
“ Ummm, well, me and Mrs. Cake will be out for a while, we’ll probably be here
tomorrow morning. But since we know how responsible you are, we trust you can do
ok… ok?”
“oki doki loki!”
Derpy: Just what is th-
Glassed: Let it go, otherwise we’ll be here all day and night.
She said really fast through the closed door.
“Well, she’s waiting outside for me, so I have to go now. Have fun and take care
of our little Cakie Wakies!” he said, finishing with a baby voice to his children who were
now down stairs doing what they do best. Chewing, and pounding.
Glassed: Bow chika bow wow!
Derpy: (groans) Oh you did not just do that...
He kissed them each on the forehead, gave his goodbyes along with Mrs. Cake who just walked in, and then left.
Once the door closed the tiny siblings turned from sweet, innocent, angels, to
crying, screaming, hormonal little demons! The little magical hormones
Hydkore: My Little Magical Hormones.
Glassed: DNA is Magic.
that were. Pumpkin Cake were starting to show as she was levitating objects around the room in
circles. Pound Cakes was smashing the popsicle stick house he and Pinkie had made a few
days ago. Both were still not used to their parents being gone, and Pinkie was also not
used to being completely responsible.
In the bathroom, Pinkie was looking at herself in the mirror, making goofy faces,
when she should be outside trying to calm the babies. But these weren’t the usual faces
she makes. These ones were more of a seductive type than a funny type.
All: ...
She was changing facial expressions every second, and each one would be as equally sexy as the last one. She stopped randomly to peek out the keyhole to see the babies. They were still throwing their monstrous temper tantrum out there. Anyways, she went back to the mirror to
continue. She usually loved making faces to the babies, in fact, that’s what could’ve
calmed them down right now, but she could not show them this profile. But she wanted to
do it so badly, and being home alone with only a few babies was the perfect time to do it.
She started rubbing her coat.
Glassed: (rubs temples) And here we go...
She used her left hoof to rub the sides of her neck up and down, and used her right to stroke her top chest. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back to face the ceiling, breathing a little harder than before. She continued what she was doing but opened one eye to lean towards the keyhole again. The 2 babies were calming down now, still crying, but not being destructive at least. Satisfied with their status, she resumed feeling herself with an intensity in her hooves.
Derpy: At least she’s keeping an eye on the babies...
Glassed: Are you seriously defending this story?
She brought her left hoof down to her chest now to start rubbing in circles on the left half, while her right hoof was rubbing circles on the right half. She was doing exactly what the ponies in Twilights book did. Humph! I want to read more! She scarcely remembered what happened next
since she wasn’t much of a reader, and got to the good parts of the story.
Hydkore: Pony sutra?
Glassed: And they say I make bad jokes...
She brought her right hoof down to her haunches. She was planning on slowly
spreading them apart and rubbing them, but she wanted to go to the part where Twilight
blushed when reading aloud to her.
Pinkie shoved her hoof right into her unprepared, dry pussy of hers.
All: …(unnecessary whistling)
She skipped the whole clit rubbing and lip massaging and went straight for penetration.
Hydkore: With what? Her hoof? Auch...
She was so tight at the moment that she wasn’t even ready to slide her hoof in
and out, all she could do was dig deeper and deeper into her dark passage.
Glassed: I can’t hear you, it’s too dark in here!
She was giving slight whimpers, as she inched deeper, vaginal lining squeezing her
foreleg. Once she felt deep enough she started pulling out. This time faster. She pushed it
back in, not as fast as pulling it out, but much faster than when she first invaded herself.
She started getting a rhythm down after a few slides and began moaning quietly.
“When I was a naughty filly and the Cakes were going out…
Glassed: Tell me she’s not...
I used that time alone to do something I read about…
Hydkore: She is...
I ran into the bathroom, to do what I saw…
But Twi said that wasn’t the way, well who listens to her at all…
Derpy: Then what is?
I’m gonna buck me, until I start to cry…
I’ll see that I can have fun just like the mares who love their rear!”
Hydkore: I can’t tell if this is funny or disturbing...
She was singing this in a low voice so that the babies couldn’t repeat it. She didn’t
want them to know these dirty things. But she had no problem exposing herself to them,
even though Twilight said nopony, no matter how old, should read, say, do, or even think
about the things in those types of books. But that didn’t matter anymore. She was singing
faster and faster, while her sliding had been going faster and faster!
Glassed: Gotta go fast! Gotta go faster, faster, faster, faster, Pinkie X!
She was penetrating herself vigorously to the point where she was squirming everywhere. She even started kicking her legs,
Hydkore: With what?!
Derpy: Just how is she sitting/standing/laying?
and arching her back against the toilet she was now sitting on. She kept going, harder, faster, stronger! She kept going and going, her biceps in her foreleg were getting very tense, her vulva becoming very red and raw. Her face was scrunched up with a bubble in her cheeks, trying to hold in her breath until the best part came. She knew it would be soon, the book said so. Harder, Faster, Stronger. HARDER, FASTER, STRONGER.HARDER! FASTER! STRONGER!!
Hydkore: Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
“ ahhhhhhhhhh!” she wailed at the top of her lungs as fluid started gushing out of
her blazing red pussy.
Glassed: IT’S ON FIRE!
She yanked her hoof out of the now loose passage to let it cool down. Feeling is a lot better than reading…
Derpy: In this case, I agree completely.
Glassed: You aren’t alone, dear.
5:38 P.M.
Derpy: Oh look at the clock, it’s time for me to go home now!
Hydkore: (grabs Derpy’s tail) Nice try, we’re still locked in though.
Pinkie was filling the bottles with milk for their dinner. She felt complete for the day, all she had to do was pleasure herself to get rid of the stress. New and rejuvenated she went to the dining room to find the little foals playing normal. She handed each one of them a bottle and let them drink away.
Hydkore: (breath of relief) Whew, at least that awful clopping is over.
Glassed: I’ve read worse...
Derpy and Hydkore: (scoots over)
Maybe once isn't enough? She shook her head after she realized what she was
thinking. Once is enough. I need to be responsible. After thinking that she heard Pumpkin
Cake coughing. “oh, no!” she forgot to burp the baby. Not only did she forget to burp
her, but she forgot how to burp her!
Glassed: (slaps his cheeks) Oh noes! Its not like she couldn’t, I dunno, ask for help?!
Hydkore: From whom, may I ask?
Derpy: Friends, Neighbours, your local mailmare...
She picked up Pumpkin and was walking in circles. “what do I do, what do I do?!” She laid the baby down on her back and started repeatingly beating her tummy.
Glassed: Now, I’m not an expert on babies, but...
Hydkore: Save it, friend. It’s not worth it...
This only made matters worse for she started crying louder, until she couldn’t scream any longer. All that came up next was green, chunky puke which sprayed out all over Pinkies face.
All: And filthy Pinkie Pie says...
“ EWW!”
All: And disgusted us says “EWW!” as well.
This only made Pinkie punch harder on the foals belly, which only made the puke spurt out further, which in turn made her punch harder.
Glassed: Oh look, it’s a fountain-(gets slapped by Derpy)
This process continued until she started hearing Poundcake crying. She stopped to
look at him. But he wasn’t just crying over needing to burp.
Hydkore: My shitstorm sense is tickling...
Glassed: Like a pickle?
Derpy: It’s not funny!
She found him doing something she would never expect.
Hydkore: Planning to take over the world?
Glassed: Playing with knives?
Derpy: Washing the dishes?
All: Doing math?!
He was pounding on his ball sack full force.
Glassed and Hydkore: (holds their crotches)
Every thrust would make more blood squirt out the holes that formed during the self beating.
Hydkore: (falls out of chair)
Glassed: (faints)
Derpy: (groan) Guys...
Pinkie quickly grabbed his arm to make him stop, but all this led to was him pounding her face, with his free hoof. Then he went back to obliterating his scrotum.
Hydkore: (climbs back over to the chair) Wh-wha?
Glassed: (holds his head) Wow, I had a bad dream whe-
Derpy: (facehoof) Sorry Glassed, it’s still here.
All through this, Pumpkin started crawling with what energy she had left to
Poundcake. She, of course, started chewing. Its what she chewed that’s the problem.
All: Oh no...
One of the holes in his sack was big enough for her to stick her hoof in,
Glassed and Hydkore: (jaws drop down)
Derpy: This is not how pony-anatomy works!
Hydkore: But in human-anatomy... (shiver)
and grab the testicle itself. She kept yanking it until the cord snapped. Poundcake, not feeling the bit of pleasure he thought he would get, started pounding even harder on himself determined to
feel as good as he saw Pinkie earlier that day.
Glassed: He saw her? How? She was locked in the bathroom!
Hydkore: Either a case of forgotten line, the writer misinterpreted or just the usual case of ‘Who-gives-a-fuck-it’s-about-balls-being-chewed!’
Derpy: That’s ‘the usual’?
Glassed: Here in Vault X, it is.
Hydkore: Wish I could just go to Vault Z to read all of the TwiDash clop knighty has stored there...
Pumpkin, getting over the earlier beating, was enjoying the small, ovalish, salty testicle. She even bit down harder at times so that it could squirt undeveloped semen in her mouth.
Glassed: (unsure look) You wanna do it, Hydkore?
Hydkore: (sighs) Oh look, she got more than she could chew for...
Derpy: Originality at its best people!
Pinkie sat up, and got her senses back. She looked at the 2 hurting each other.
Hydkore: Well she took a while. Guess the caffeine pills are wearing off.
She quickly took out the testicle out Pumpkins mouth and put it to the side, and to stop
Poundcake, she grabbed both of his front hooves to pin him down. “STOP! Okay? Just
calm down.” she slowly let go. To her surprise he did stop. “ Now stay here.”
The next thing he saw was a pink blur, and then Pinkie appeared with a stapler. How she
did it that fast, only Celestia knows.
Glassed: (calls up Celestia) How’d she do it?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. I don’t have to explain it.
Back to the story,
Derpy: We left at some point?!
she grabbed his decapitated testicle from the floor and squeezed it back in the ripped scrotum.
Glassed: Why does it hurt to read?!
Rainbow: (from TV) Whenever a reader sees something that he or she can relate to, they automatically send signals to the mind asking for that specific feeling to be sent throughout the body. This only works for very traumatic experiences and in this ca-
Glassed: Why does it hurt to listen?!
Every time she pushed more blood would trickle out the other small holes that speckled the sack.
Hydkore: Wait, there’s more than one hole?
Glassed: 18 to be specific.
She was finally able to get in there, except at a price. His teste was placed sideways and only made it more painful for him.
Hydkore: Hmm...Glassed, how did your last teste go by the way?
Glassed: I got an F, and it was for reading this story.
She started sweating,” So this is how it feels to be a surgeon.”
Derpy: Cupcakes -refrence?
Hydkore: Either that or ‘Operation’...
Once it was in she picked up the stapler with slow, and precisely. She closed one of her eyes as to judge the perfect angle and distance to perform her next move. She raised the bottomless stapler to swing down and attach both sides of his ripped sack together. It was for keeping his free teste inside, and that’s exactly what it did, but it also stapled his small lump of skin to the
floor beneath him.
Glassed: I wonder if this is what Doc. House works with all day... I don’t understand surgery...
“WAHHHH! WAAAAHHH!WAH, WAH, WAHHHHH!” the crying would not
stop. Pinkie didn’t know what to do,
Hydkore: Err, I dunno. Maybe you should GET THAT STAPLER OUT!
Derpy: Hyd’, you’re shouting...
Hydkore: (sigh) Sorry, but this!
Pinkie: (from TV) Don’t worry, the archive is soundproof, fireproof, waterproof, lightproof, weatherproof, explosionproof and Hydkoreproof.
Glassed: Too bad it’s not Pinkieproof...
Hydkore: What was that last one?
and unknowingly of the physics of how a staple works, she picked up Poundcake only to lift him up a few inches.
Derpy: Ugh, this is just silly, right guys?
“Are you glued to the ground or what silly?” She said before using all of her force
to rip him off the floor. “ That’s more like it… what’s that?” she looked down to the
ground where he was just laying at, and saw a huge flap of skin stapled to the ground,
along with a small white object that Pumpkin eventually came to start chewing again.
Glassed: Get me a bucket, ASAP!
Hydkore: (mumbles from the bucket) Too late...Use your cap.
“uh, oh.” she picked up Poundcake above her head to check something.” Just as I
thought…” He had no scrotum now. All he had was a red and black void right under his
tiny ding-a-ling, along with one teste still being held by its cord that went up the void.
“Okay, just fly there. Don’t sit down!” she was now extremely worried and tried
her best to pull out the scrotum from the ground.
Glassed: Looking like a fool with the scrotum on the ground!
All she did though was create more tiny rips through it. Tears started forming in her eyes, because she was clueless on what to do, she needed help with these two.
Derpy: Again, you’d only need to call your local mailmare for some perfectly safe time travel trips.
Hydkore: You really ought to have Whooves patent that damn thing.
She stood up and walked to the door only to get smacked in the back of the head.
Half unconscious, she was able to see Poundcake on top of her belly staring down
at her with a devilish grin. She blacked out.
Glassed: I think this is the perfect time for a break, don’t you two agree?
Derpy and Hydkore: YES!
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Hydkore: What do I do with this bucket? (tube comes down and sucks it up) ...Oh...
Glassed: (looks up) Where the hell does that even come from?
Derpy: House renovation; don’t you recall how you wanted to have those travel tubes?
Glassed: My best idea to date!
Hydkore: *cough* Futurama *cough*
Pinkie: (from TV) Okay, break it up guys. So, any thoughts to share?
Glassed: We’re gonna be raiding the brain-bleach storage later.
Hydkore: We have one of those?
Glassed: Forget what I said earlier, THAT was my best idea to date!
Derpy: (facehoof) Anyways, this story... Look, do the people need us to tell what’s wrong with it?
Pinkie: (From TV) Go ahead!
Derpy: (takes a long inhale of air) Well...
Glassed: Hang on Derpy, let me and Hydkore sum it up.
Hydkore and Glassed: (takes a long inhale of air) THIS IS STUPID! THIS IS STUPID!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, [x14]. STUPIIID!! STUPID!! IT'S SO INCREDIBLY STUPID!! THIS IS THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!! GOD, HORSE, ASS, WHOLE PACK OF SHIT!! STUPID SHIT! THIS IS STUPID SHIT!!! ASS, BUCKFACE, DICKHEAD, ASSHOLE, YOU IN THE ASS FUCKED HARD!! STUPID!! IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLY STUPID!! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT [x12]. ASS!! ASS, WHORE, ASS, SHIT, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, MOTHER-
(Buzzer goes off)
All: Let the story-sorting resume!
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The light was creeping in through her eyes, but it was still blurry.
Hydkore: (stands in a pose with a plastic sword) Darkness is coming...
She could make out Pumpkin laying on her chest… chewing on a sphere of some kind… an eyeball! It was connected to the nerve still, she followed its direction. It led up her chest and further.
Glassed: I may be stupid, but I know a thing or two about anatomy. The string isn’t more than a few centimeters long, and therefore it would onl- (gets slapped by Derpy)
Derpy: Don’t make this session longer than it needs to be!
She reached a tired, limp hoof up to feel a hole with a string pulled out where her left eye used to be.
Hydkore: (stands up) That’s it! Cannot take this shit anymore!
Derpy: Wait, Hyd’. What are you-
Pinkie: (from TV) Aww, don’t be such a party-pooper.
Hydkore: I... don’t... car- (tries to break down the door and gets electrocuted)
Derpy: ...Wow.
Glassed: Be glad he didn’t try that in Vault Y. That door has acid in it...
Hydkore: (still spazzing out on the floor)
“ eye cant see…hehe.” she said with a weak, hoarse voice,” get it.”
Glassed: And you told me my puns were bad...
Hydkore: Oh they are, but this is pretty bad as well.
she started coughing hard. Her lungs burned with every push, and blood that puddled in her throat came out with the mucus. In fact she coughed so hard that Pumpkin fell off with the
eyeball still in mouth. Pinkie’s brain felt like it was just tugged, well, it was. This was worse than any headache she ever felt.
At least this woke her brain up so she can feel what else they
Hydkore: (cocks eyebrow)They? Isn’t that kinda jumping to conclusions?
did to her unconscious body.
Glassed: Date-rape.
Actually, that did more bad than good, but she couldn’t help that. If she could just forget this ever happened and die, she would. But she cant.
She looked at the clock on the ceiling to see how long this pain would last.
Glassed: “Still 10 more minutes of pain.”
8:03 P.M.
Glassed: (looks at Derpy) Well come on, say your thing.
Derpy: I don’t wanna get electrocuted...
Hydkore: (spazzes one last time)
, it was still so early! She was going to have to go through the whole night like
this. “ Poundcake… your in big…*coughing*… trouble.”
Glassed: Oh, bucking is nothing compared to coughing when it comes to being in trouble!
she tried to pick herself up only to feel a numbing pain in between her legs. “ow!” she bent her back to look down at her pleasure spot. It didn’t look pleasurable at all.
Her labia was painted black and blue with bruises.
Derpy: Remember what you said about me never knowing how much hurt a single sentence could bring? I know now...
Glassed and Hydkore: (sniff) Welcome to the gang.
Poundcake must have done this.
Hydkore: “Oh, and that dumb Glassed!”
But that was it thankfully. She got up again. She winced once she picked up her hind legs,
but once she stood completely up she was able to block out the pain.
Derpy: (rolls the dice) Congrats Pinkie. You were successfully able to cast ‘Block-out-the-pain’ spell... Wait, wha?
Glassed: (To Pinkie) If I roll a 20, can I go?
Pinkie: (From TV) Sure!
Glassed: (rolls and gets a 3) Oh... What now?
Pinkie: (From TV) Now you get sucked up through one of the travel tubes to your worst nightmare!
Glassed: Wha-(gets sucked up)
“Pumpkin. Huh… Where did Poundcake go?” Pumpkincake bit down on the eyeball. “ Oki dok…” she didn’t have the energy to finish.
Derpy: We don’t either...
She just walked. She didn’t go over to the door like she knew she should, no, she went upstairs to find Poundcake.
“Hello?” she went up the stairs to find the little rascal, at least that’s what she
thought of him.He deserves a spanking.
Hydkore: Only spanking?
Only spanking?
Hydkore: ...Creepy.
Well, Pinkie thought they didn’t know any better. Well, she found him.
He hung upside down from his room. He got up there by flying, but how is he still
up there without flapping his wings. Oh, that’s how. His body was dangling from his 2
inch, soft, yet stretched penis.
(A scream is heard from somewhere in the archive)
Derpy: At least we’re not the only ones suffering...
His head was nailed to the ceiling and there was a hammer on the floor.
Hydkore: Nailed to the ceiling from where? What, do the nails travel through his skull?
Derpy: Wrong head.
Hydkore: What do you... (eyes widen) Oh... Oh my...
“oh my! Poundcake, why would you do that?” she walked over to him and pulled him down. His head stopped at the nub on the nail, but that didn’t stop her from pulling.
Hydkore: (facedesk) Pinkie, don’t you learn from your mistakes?
Pinkie: (from TV) Hmm....nah.
Rainbow: (from TV) Wrong meme, Pinkie.
She was able to pull hard enough to pull out the nail along with the foal with a disguise of cuteness. She held him in her forelegs and rocked his sleeping body back and forth. “ your so cute… and red, oh wait, that’s just me.” Her right eye was starting to tear up with blood. The irises themselves were black with dried, internal blood.
(Tube comes down and spits out Glassed covered in black stuff)
Hydkore and Derpy:(look at each other and then at Glassed) …Do we want to know?
Glassed: No.
She laid the still impaled baby into his crib and headed back downstairs to get
Pumpkin. This night will probably change every one of her friends profiles of her.
Rainbow: (from TV) Nah, I think we’d be totally cool with this.
Cupcakes wasn’t nearly as bad as this...
But she figured when its all said and done, they would all be laughing at it. She liked laughing.
“Hahahaha. This is funny, really funny! Hahahhahahaha!”
Derpy: Entering the ring, Pinkamena Diane Pie!
she started laughing maniacally as her usually cute, puffy air went down to straight, intimidating locks of insanity.
Glassed: Sanity-locks? Isn’t that from Journey to my Imagination?
Hydkore: You honestly think that that story would take anything from this horror-filled mess of a narrative?
She walked back down to get Pumpkin and have some fun with her.
Glassed: Bow chika bow wo-(gets slapped by Hydkore and Derpy) WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND GETTING SLAPPED?!
She picked up some scissors on her way down.
Hydkore: To cut paper for birthday gifts. What else they could be for?
Glassed: Well to cut those nasty bills.
12:52 A.M. Pinkie had spent hours staring at the 2 fillies in their cribs. Earlier she
had took Pumpkin to her room without doing anything harmful. She had to think about
her next actions, not determining if what she is about to do is right or wrong. But to figure
out how she could get the most fun out of them.
Glassed: And in the end, isn’t that what counts the most?
Derpy: I can imagine a lot of fun in prison...
She replayed the same images in her head over and over again. Each time no different than the last. When was she going to start. Not even Celestia could tell, let alone help this demented pony.
Glassed: (calls Celestia) True or false?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. I don’t have to explain it. Now let me continue my royal obligations. (The words ‘Finish him’ are heard from the background)
Pumpkin started to cry a bit,
Derpy: And then another bit, and another, and another, until Pinkie was the richest pony in Equestria.
something all young foals do at night. It was time…
Hydkore: To end this story! Bye! (gets electrocuted by door)
Derpy: (sigh) Doesn’t he learn?
Glassed: Meh, I think he won’t be trying it for the third time.
Pumpkin kept making little whimpers and opened her eyes to see a pink pony with
a snake tooth grin worse than Discord, who literally had a snake tooth. Seeing this made
what it would make any pony do…
Glassed: Scream for help?
Hydkore: Jump in joy?
Derpy: Stop reading this fanfic?
cry.
All: Oh...
Pinkie slammed her hoof on her body so that she couldn’t move.
Derpy: Why? She’s a baby and crying.
All: (recalls what happened first time around)
Glassed: Sounds legit enough.
Pinkie knew she was good with magic so to make sure she didn’t do anything funny,
Glassed. See, Pink- I’m sorry, Pinkamena agrees with me.
she spread the scissors open and detached the still fragile horn. She threw it to the side for later. For now, she wanted to use the scissors a lot more.
Pumpkin’s crying at night always waked up the neighbors, but this wasn’t your
average crying. But the way Pumpkin was screaming, you would’ve swore she was being
tortured… well she was.
Hydkore: Oh, so I wasn’t just imagining it. Thank you vampader, you sultan of knowledge!
Pinkie already knowing what to do grabbed the sleeping Poundcake
All: ...
Glassed: ...Erm...
Derpy: Well...
Hydkore: Face it, she’s completely nuts by this point.
and used the nail that was still pierced through his head
Hydkore: That head thing still bugs me...
to stab it through both her lips. His head was running up her left nostril. Pumpkin now could only breathe through one nostril. It didn’t help that she was a baby and had tons of mucus stored inside.
Pinkie, satisfied with how things are working so far goes to the next step in her
premeditated homicide.
Derpy: ‘Premedicated’? Pinkie’s on medication?
Pinkie: (From TV) I am?!
Hydkore: ‘Premeditated’ Derpy. There’s a difference.
Pinkie: (From TV) I’m meditating?
Hydkore: (groans)
She opened the scissors so that she can fit only one blade up Pumpkins extremely tight vagina.
Glassed: Remember when I said I had read worse clop? Forget that...
Hydkore: What about mrhappyface?
She shoved the 4 inch blade really fast so that the lining would get cut and bleed. But she didn’t need a blade to make her bleed. She obviously was a virgin
Hydkore: I’d never have guessed.
and still had a cherry to pop,
Glassed: Suddenly I’m both hungry and disgusted.
Hydkore: Why am I suddenly thinking about a certain teacher mare?
Glassed: Nice reference. I believe Cheerilee’s Garden is in here somewhere...
Hydkore: (drools) But she’s still the best...
Derpy and Glassed: (scoots over)
or for Pinkie, to stab repeatedly. Pinkie slid it in and out faster and faster with each second.
Hydkore: No Glassed! No Sonic-jokes!
The baby couldn’t help but squirm in place while Pinkie got off at doing this. In fact, Pinkie wished she didn’t nail her mouth shut so she can hear the babies screaming.
“Now for step 2!” She said in a voice that was from a demon itself.
Derpy: What demon? There’s lots of different demons with different voices. It all depends on how you-(sees Glassed and Hydkore looking at her)-Ehm... Never mind.
She used the 2nd blade of the scissors to anally penetrate her, and now instead of sliding she was going to cut through the prostate.
All: (backs away)
This would be very easy since her bones were still made of cartilage. It took all but a few snips to connect her rectum and uterus. Pinkie shoved her hoof in to pull out one of her ovaries. The thing was so tiny, but it will have to do. “Chew on this you little buck face!”
Glassed: I can’t help but read that in Bruce Willis’s voice.
She slid her lips through the nail so that they can slightly part, and shoved her
ovary in her mouth. She closed it and forced chewed her. The moving of the jaw caused
the sleeping Poundcake to arise. “Right on cue.”
Knock. Knock. Knock. What the buck!! This was not in her plan.
Pinkie: (From TV) DAMN IT! Foiled again!
Who could’ve been knocking at this time. Pinkie’s evil face turned grew a nervous profile.
Derpy: “I’m a single mare from Ponyville looking for a good stallion, I mean- Eep!”
Glassed: I don’t think it was that kind of profile, but whatever.
She galloped down to answer. She had to act normal. My eye! Pinkie went to her chest full of nightmare night costumes to put on an eye patch from a past pirate costume. It was Pinkie. No one would be suspicious.
Hydkore: It’s a sad day when that’s actually true...
Glassed: That’s the first time this story have actually made sense!
Knock. Knock. Knock. “ I’m coming!”
Derpy: Bow chika bow wow!
Glassed: You have learned well, young padamare (brohoofs/fists Derpy)
she shouted washing the blood off of her hooves. She had made sure she stapled Poundcakes lips and wings together before she left so that they couldn’t give her away.
Derpy: Like this won’t seriously backfire somehow!
Hydkore: Aaaaand how come she leaves them in open? I’m sure there’s a closet of sorts around.
Glassed: I think they’re upstairs, but it’s still a stupid plan.
She breathed in her hoof to smell her breath. Smells like crap… literally.
Glassed: I have those mornings as well...
She took a peppermint. She looked at the door. She shook her head to get her head in the game and stay cool. She opened the door.
“Noponys here!” she slammed the door shut.
Hydkore: (raises hand) Umm, may I ask but WHY DID SHE OPEN IT IF SHE SLAMS IT CLOSE ANYWAYS?!
Glassed: Nopony here but us chickens!
“Pinkie. Its me twilight!
Derpy: Twilight? At midnight?... Oh, the pony! I thought the sun was setting twice!
Hydkore: Would have made as much sense as some of the other parts of this story.
Can you open the door?”
“umm.” Pinkie sat there for about 2 minutes thinking of a plan.
“Uhh, hello?” Twilight had a hint of nervousness in her voice.
Derpy: And just a hint of garlic.
Pinkie likey.
“Come on in Twi.” she said opening the door and lifted her foreleg and motioned
inside. Twilight, completely oblivious to Pinkies insanity walked in worry free.
Hydkore: One does not simply walk into Sugarcube Corner!
Glassed: (mimics Twilight) “Just another night at Sugarcube Corner.”
“I’m sorry I came so late, but I had a lot to study today, and I know you think
you’re responsible, but I just came to make sure.”
Pinkie twitched at the word ‘responsible’.” You still don’t think I’m responsible?”
Hydkore: Its not like this is totally my second time taking care of these things.
“No, its not that. I just came to see how good you were at responsibility! If that
makes sense to you.”
“Now you’re saying I’m dumb!”
Twilight face hoofed,” no Pinkie, just… can I see the babies.”
Glassed: Tara Strong would be proud, vampader.
Hydkore: You know, there’s something that’s been bothering me from the beginning. Isn’t it ‘foals’ not ‘babies’?
Derpy: Stop questioning this story!
Pinkie grew a mischievous smile, “ Well who wouldn’t love to see those little
angels. Lets go upstairs. Wait…I need to get something from the freezer.”
“umm, okay, I’ll be waiting upstairs. Oh yeah…about those books last night…”
“Say no more. Say no more. You’re Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got it covered.”
Twilight started blushing and slowly walked up the steps, bouncing her rump left
to right, imitating what she had read in those stories.
Hydkore: So that’s why Twilight’s there.
Glassed: Why?
Hydkore: (pats Glassed’s head) You’ll understand when you’re older.
Glassed: ...I’m 3 years older than you!
Once Twilight got up the stairs where Pinkie wouldn’t see her, she stopped her strutting. Its actually very uncomfortable. She made her way past Pinkies room, where she hopes some fun will happen.
Glassed: (thinks for couple minutes) Aha, now I get it!
Derpy: Also, what happened to the tense- No, now I’m doing it as well! Everypony stop asking questions!
But she needed to see the babies and how they were doing. She slowly slipped the door open preparing to find 2 little sleeping angels. All she could see though, was a blanket with a
large, shaking lump.
Derpy: Wait, a blanket? Where did that blanket come from?
Glassed: (calls Celestia) Explain?
Celestia: (from phone) Magic. Do I need to say it anymore?
Twilights became afraid, and her heart started beating faster than any metal band could play the drums.
Hydkore: Oh yes, ‘cause metal bands are a common thing in a land of rainbow coloured ponies.
Glassed: Twilight’s Heart presents: Through the Fire and Flames.
She lifted the cover with her magic to find the most horrid thing she’s ever seen in her life. In any ponies life.
Derpy: Most ponies believes in reincarnation, so that’s a lot of lives...
Twilights eyes could not stop staring at the twins mutilated, attached bodies. Her
jaw dropped as she slowly crept backwards still looking at them struggling to survive.
Pumpkin being in the worst condition since her only free nostril had mucus coming out in
bubbles. Twilight started to shed small tears and her breathing became faster. She walked
back faster, faster, faster, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER, FASTER , STOP!
Glassed: (makes puppy-eyes to Hydkore)
She couldn’t scoot backwards any farther for she felt a stopping motion within her
anal cavity.
All: Wut?
The force was cold… sharp… dry… big. Twilight looked back to see Pinkie
holding something in her anus with one hoof, using the other one to shove a knife in her
spinal cord. Twilight became paralyzed, but still feeling everything that happened to her.
“How nice to have company over. Right, Alaskan Bull Worm!”
All: …
Glassed: Bulls-eye! (Derpy bucks Glassed through the roof)
She pulled out the makeshift dildo out of Twilights anus and showed it to her face.
Hydkore: Ass to mouth rule? (looks hopingly at Derpy) Come on, not bad enough?
Hydkore: ...Nevermind...
Glassed: I’m...back...bitches...
"Why yes! I love anal penetration!" said Pinkie using a manly voice, pupils
getting small and running towards the back of her head.
Derpy: Now those are some some pupils!
Hydkore: Wish my pupils could do the same right now...
“ Hey Twilight. Wanna know how I made him?” no reply, “Well, since you want to know so much I’ll let you in on my secret.” She went right to Twilights ear and whispered seductively in her ear. “ First I got balloons.
Hydkore: Our title ladies and gentlemen!
Something that makes everything fun, then I took a dump in it! HAHA!
Glassed: I hate to point this out, but I thought it was an Alaskan Bull Worm...
Hydkore: Who gives a ‘shit’? (Glassed and Hydkore highfives)
That was fun too.
Derpy: This story is against me...
Then I put in the freezer so it can harden, trust me, it doesn’t work if its not frozen. Unless you want to eat it. Than its awesome! Twilight, can I eat your feces? Why thank you, how kind.”
Glassed: (throws his chocolate-bar away)
Hydkore: Reminds me of ‘The Human Centipede’...
Glassed: (tries to break down the door and gets electrocuted)
Derpy: ...I’m...I’m speechless.
Hydkore: At this point, that’s a good escape from this story.
She pulled the knife out and flipped Twilight over. She took the knife and slit her
lower belly. The fresh, hot, tasty intestines were there just waiting to be played with.
Derpy: I’m just wondering if this story could be somehow salvaged?
Glassed and Hydkore: Nope.
Pinkie grabbed a random part of her small intestine and yanked it out with some tugging.
She used the knife to cut it and then pulled it out like it was some very long noodle.
Hydkore: Even the soup comes along.
Glassed: (shouts from inside the bucket) Making it right now!
After about 6 feet was pulled, she wrapped it around Twilights neck so that she could be choked and penetrated at the same time.
Derpy: …(tries the door, gets electrocuted)
Hydkore: Clever girl...
How can this happen, you might ask?
Glassed: (calls Celestia) Here yet again.
Celestia: (from phone) Okay, this is just getting ridi-(sound of spurting cake fill in) WHAT?! BACK OFF! MY BITCH PRESTIGE TOY!
Well, Pinkie flipped her on her belly again, other organs spilled out during the process. With the intestine that came out of the opening, around the neck, and held by Pinkies hoof, she lifted it up, raising Twilights head and closing her windpipe.
Derpy: Umm... Glassed, is this anatomically possible?
Glassed: I don’t know, I can’t call Celestia for some reason... I think I’ve gone over my minutes...
Pinkie let some slack so that she could breath again. She wanted her alive as long as possible.
Glassed: Live long and prosper.
Hydkore: (makes V-sign with hand)
While maneuvering the intestine with one hoof, her other was used to slowly dig Alaskan Bull Worm through her anus.
Hydkore: What? The turd dildo is suddenly inside Pinkie?
Glassed: ...OH! The turd is inside Twilight and the AB-Worm is in Pinkie! Makes perfect sense!
Derpy: What happened to make you like this?
Glassed: (sniff) I’ve had a hard life filled with bad fanfiction.
The frozen piece of crap had a lot of sharp edges on the side witch caused internal bleeding in her rectum.
Derpy: Hmm... Don’t recall seeing any witches beside Zecora around Ponyville.
Glassed: I thought she was a potion-maker?
Derpy: Who do you think taught me black ma-ehm, nevermind.
The sliding became more vigorous after a few strokes, because her inner lining gave away more and more until it was just a massive, blood gushing, abyss.
Hydkore: (grins) Oh God, it gets worse, doesn’t it?
The dildo was able to go in and out easily, the blood as a natural lubricant, and
while that was happening Twilight was still getting periodically choked. Pinkie didn’t even
know if she was alive, but that didn’t matter. Dead, alive… as long as they had fun, its
worth it in the end.
Glassed: No more live long and prosper....(sniff)
Hydkore: Goodbye Spock.
3:28 A.M. Pinkie started to get bored after 15 minutes of raping Twilight and left
her on the floor bleeding out of her anus.
Hydkore: Can only have so much fun doing anal-raping I guess...
She walked over to the twins which had cried themselves to sleep. Well, Poundcake did, Pumpkincake laid dead under her brother, having been suffocated from his tip and the nail that ran through it. Pinkie grabbed some filled balloons that she had made earlier from her room and placed anal beads on the string.
Derpy: I did wonder what those boxes I delivered for Cakes had in... Oh Celestia...This is real!
Hydkore: Relax. What do you think those boxes me and Glassed share have inside them?
Glassed: (grumbles) I thought we agreed to never speak of that again...
“you’re going to like this one Poundcake, just remember… clinch hard!” she
shoved the string in 4 beads deep. There was enough helium in the balloons to float his
body. That’s exactly what she wanted to do.
Glassed: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry...
She slid his head off the nail which she removed from Pumpkins lips. Pinkie grabbed the hammer from the ground and smashed his bottom ribs. He started wailing at the blunt contact, Pinkie didn’t bother closing his mouth. The whole town will eventually find out, might as well make it funny.
Glassed: (chuckles)
Derpy: I don’t see the funny thing here...
Glassed: Oh, just remembered a funny joke, you seriously think that I’m paying attention to what’s going on?
She was able to bend him forward enough with the broken ribs, so that she could
place his own dick in his mouth.
Hydkore: Pumpkin shall now be known as ‘Ozzy Pumpkin’.
That’s when she brought back the nail and closed his lips around his shaft. She walked over to the nearest window and let him fly. The moon was at its brightest, and if anypony were walking outside, they would’ve saw the most bizarre silhouette ever.
Glassed: Is it a bird?
Derpy: Is it a pegasus?
Hydkore: Well...In a way it is...
But Pinkie will just have to wait till morning before all her friends find out and they can laugh at how silly this all was.
She walked towards Twilight and checked her pulse,” Still alive!
Glassed: (singing) “I’m making a note here, huge success.”
I am so proud of you Twi! If you weren’t paralyzed for the rest of your life, we could laugh all night, every night, about this. Hahaha! Oh this is soooo funny!” she was speaking as if this was all a game. She had no dark, sinister voice. Just her normal, happy go lucky, squeaky, Pinkie
voice. “ Remember what these are called?” said Pinkie rubbing her labia. “ Pussy lips!
What if you combined normal lips and pussy lips! They would be called normussy lips!”
All: ...
No reply.
Hydkore: We just didn’t think it deserved any.
“ Well, I hope you like it, because if you don’t, tell me now.”
Derpy: Then I’d like to shout something here.
No reply.
Derpy: Don’t ignore me!
She squeaked with a huge smile across her face. She grabbed the knife off the floor
and started skinning her pussy lips. “AHHHHHH!”
Glassed and Hydkore: (holds their crotch)
Hydkore: This shouldn’t be happening...
Glassed: Good job vampader, you’ve written something that physically hurts both genders! Right Derpy?
she couldn’t help but scream,
Derpy: (lays fainted on the floor)
Hydkore: I think she broke...
but she loved it. The whole idea of what she’s doing just turns her on, and the pain makes it more kinky. “OH MY GOOOOOOSH!” she starts skinning the other lip. “AHHHH, AHHHH,
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHAAAA!” The last scream, was the most
horrid, uncomfortable, most demonic, bloodcurdling screams Equestria has ever
witnessed.
Hydkore: Like that one time when I put tomatoes in Glassed’s food.
Glassed: THAT WAS YOU?!
Every house in Ponyville’s lights shined. The neighbors started walking toward
their house. Pinkie saw that out the window and decided to act fast. She grabbed her
pussy lips and placed them horribly, and impatiently on her real lips.
Derpy: (wakes up) So what? One of them was fake?
Glassed: Apparently plastic-surgery is also a thing in Equestria...
She stapled the bottom and top ones. “ See, this is normussy lips! HAHa…ha…haha…” her laughter became less and less audible as she started to get sleepy.
Hydkore: I’m starting to get sleepy as well, but that’s for other reasons...
“ Here twilight, remember me with this.”
Derpy: “-Horrible fanfic.”
She handed over Alaskan Bull Worm to Twilights paralyzed body. “I’m going to fly away. It will make more of a laugh if they try to catch me. Just like those old cowpony movies.
Glassed: I don’t remember Lucky Luke or Clint Eastwood doing that...
Huh.. I’ll miss you Twilight.” She went over and kissed Twilight on the lips. Even though she was more than halfway dead, and in no control of her bodily functions, you could still see her cheeks blushing through her blood soaked, lavender coat.
Glassed: Tara shuns you Twilight!
Pinkie grabbed a few balloons and decided to fly away just like Poundcake.
Hydkore: Wait, he is outside of Sugarcube Corner?
Glassed: Got thrown out of the window, remember?
Hydkore: ...In our own words: ‘Do you expect me to pay attention?’
She stepped out the window, threw her eye patch to the ground, cracked her neck,
and limbered up.
Glassed: (turns on the radio) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCLOgMfwIXk&list
With a step of her bottom hoof she was off. The balloons together wee
able to pick her up and float her away from her friends in Ponyville. She looked into the
horizon and saw the sun rising up. 5:12 A.M. Pinkie looked down to wave at Applejack
who was just starting to get up and buck apples.
This only led to her to get tied up in the strings.
Derpy: Aha, so the real culprit behind all this is no-good Applejack!
Hydkore: You’re related to Sherclop?
Derpy: No?
Hydkore: Didn’t think so.
She started kicking and shaking violently to get out, but it only made it worse. She would struggle. Struggle just like Pumpkin, just like Poundcake, just like Twilight tried to. She was on the brink of death now.
Glassed: Wait... It’s been over five hours from since she ‘lost her energy’... You know what? Screw it! We’re almost done!
She had given her victims unimaginable torture and now she was about to feel only a
fraction of what they went through. Her lungs were internally bleeding, her face was
turning purple, She tried to breathe in, but every time she tensed her neck muscles, it
would just make the string wrap tighter around her throat. The best part is, that the reason
she died so quickly, was because she was laughing.
Hydkore: The best part of this is the ending to the story.
Her continuous laughter while being choked in mid-air was what killed her, laughter. Her element of harmony. Balloons, her cutie mark.
Glassed: (turns off the radio)
Did everypony die the way they lived? Has anypony ever truly lived? Has anypony
ever truly died? Where do we go? What did we do before we lived here? Were our cutie
marks determined before birth?
Glassed: Did we truly deserve to read this story?
Derpy: Why are we here?
Hydkore: Why haven’t we died from being electrocuted yet?
These were the questions Twilight asked herself.
All: WHAAAAAAAAAT?!
It had been years since the incident.
Glassed: Time flies by doesn't it?!
Hydkore: Glassed, for your own good, I hope you were just joking...
But not being able to talk and move really limits what you can experience in life.
Her friends don’t even come over anymore. They still love her, but how can they love a
rag doll? How can they truly understand how it felt to be like this? They couldn’t know.
They shouldn’t know. Twilight should though, Pinkie was her lover. Even though they fell
for each other in one night after reading a book, and having an insane sex experience the
next, it was all worth it to Twilight.
Glassed: I’d make a joke about being speechless, but I honestly have no words to describe this...
As long as its funny in the end, everything is alright. Maybe she was the only pony, but on the inside, she is still laughing about that night,
Hydkore: (slowly shakes head) No...
with the Alaskan Bull Worm sitting on her lap…
Hydkore: (stares at the screen)
Derpy: Hyd’?
Hydkore: (raises his fist up)
Glassed: Umm... pal, you’re seriously star-
Hydkore: (punches his fist through the monitor)
Derpy and Glassed: OH JESUS!
The End.
(another monitor comes down from the celling)
Glassed: ...Not one of my best ideas...
Pinkie: (From TV) So? Did you enjoy it?
All: …
Pinkie (From TV) I knew you would!
Derpy: Can I...can I just go home to Dinky?
Pinkie: (From TV) Of course! (door opens and lets Derpy out)
Glassed: Wait... Dinky’s staying over at Sparkler’s place today! (goes for the door, but it closes) ...Clever girl.
Hydkore: Fuck...
Pinkie: (From TV) Oh no you don’t. There’s still an entire vault to be sorted!
Glassed: (whimpers) Can’t you just let Author deal with this? We’re but mere providers of the stories for his doom.
Rainbow: (From TV) Sorry boys, but we gotta have order in the archive so we know what to give Author.
Pinkie: (From TV) Until next time. (Monitor shuts off)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hydkore: Glassed?
Glassed: Yeah?
Hydkore: I hate our job...
Glassed: (looks around the room) We’re still trapped, huh?
Hydkore: Pretty much.
Glassed: This means we have to do another story soon?
Hydkore: Yeah.
Glassed and Hydkore: (looks at each other) Motherfu-(light turns off)