MPPT3K Guest Submission:
Blue Frosting
The ever-so opinionated Storiesatrandom is here with more riffing shenanigans. Today is a one shot known as "Blue Frosting". Run of the mill gore with more 'Pinkie Pie goes crazy action.
Enjoy!
Hello, I'm Storiesatrandom, I remember it so you don't have to. We all are aware of the bazillion sequels to the infamous gorefic, Cupcakes. You know, the very sickening and violent, not to mention lacking of canon character portrayal of a gorefic? Basically, it was about Pinkie Pie suddenly capturing and murdering Rainbow Dash. The disgusting fic ended up so popular, it spawned many fan art, several videos that take a similar play on this, and, as we are painfully aware, the many, many, many, and most of the time half baked, sequels. Trust me, typed Cupcakes, heck, check fan labor wiki, and you'll find out it generated many sequels, like, Pinkie Pie attacking more victims, or being either captured or destroyed, heck, it even inspired another gorefic "Rocket to Insanity" when Rainbow became the psycho! Bottom-line, despite its obvious disgusting nature, people went nuts for it… but, clearly, after facing more and more, and often nonsensical spin-offs, it got old with us. In rare cases, there are those interesting or, half worthy sequels or spin-offs, in fact, there are gore-fics that take a similar but original take on the idea. But the lack of originally and/or other known mistakes has taken its toll on Cupcakes in fanfics, while it stay strong in fan pics and started to keep a steady pace in YouTube, if though it's rare on that place, thank god. Then there's the other gorefics that were technically inspired, but took an original, and just as disturbing approach, like the aforementioned RTI, "The rainbow factory" and the ridiculously disturbing "Sweet Apple Massacre". Now, SAM is vile because it involved child rape and death of the Cutiemark crusaders, and it bared a similar, but not entirely positive infamy in fandom. But, when I was surfing FIMFiction, I discovered something I wished I did not found: a fic called Blue Frosting. It's apparently the love child of Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre; it has the CMC suffering and dying, and a psycho Pinkie Pie. What's worse, it has many versions on how it freaken ends! Either happy but dark, or full blown Gorefic tradition ending. Also, an added insult, it involves drugs. Yes, everyone getting high and one of them gets murderous with it. Well, this will be an interesting take off of Molestia while I think for jokes for that. But this fic was so, love child of both heinous gorefics; I have to give this a beating before RatherHomely gets a whiff of this!
Small warning, this fic tends to be, expressive.
Storiesatrandom: "Ok, this is gonna be tough, we're talking about a fic that is a love child of Cupcakes and SAM."
Twilight: "Why we decided to do this, I'll never know."
Pinkie Pie: "Too bad Celestia and Rarity are missing out on this."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, trust me; they have a good reason why they won't make an appearance."
(BUZZ!)
Storiesatrandom: "ICEBURG AHEAD! BRACE FOR IMPACT!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were so proud of themselves.
Storiesatrandom: "(Gasp), did they finally get Cutiemarks?"
Pinkie Pie had promised them a "good-grades" party for each week they got straight A's in school, and this was their fourth week in a row, except this week Scootaloo had gotten one B in Math, but Pinkie had said it was okay anyway.
Twilight: "To our disappointment, no."
"It's getting real hard to concentrate on Friday afternoon," admitted Scootaloo.
Pinkie Pie (mimicking Scootaloo): "Especially since we don't have hands to write, or those that are young Unicorns can't do magic yet."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, I can imagine how having no thumbs or fingers can be a real pain in the ass."
"It's like somepony filled my head with sand instead of brains."
Twilight: "I bet it was the Sandpony again. Celestia has got to set that guy straight."
They all agreed that it was getting harder to concentrate as the week went on; all they could think of was the celebration party at Pinkie's house.
Storiesatrandom: "They even forgot their hopes and dreams about getting Cutiemarks because of the parties."
Actually, it wasn't the party that excited them,
All: "Huh?"
it was Pinkie's extra special you're-a-fabulous-student prize: blue cupcakes.
Pinkie Pie: "Well I do make fabulous Cupcakes!"
The cupcakes were delicious and made them feel so good and happy that by Friday they were tempted to skip school altogether and head straight for the cupcakes.
Twilight: "But it failed because of interfering Prefects."
Storiesatrandom: "And their pesky dog, too!"
"CUPCAKES!" screamed the trio as they burst through the front door into Sugarcube Corner.
Storiesatrandom: "PANCAKES!"
Pinkie and Twilight: "….."
Storiesatrandom: "Thought we were playing a game."
"Wowie Zowie!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Are you fillies ready for a fun, fun..."
Pinkie Pie: "That is if you got parents' permission, otherwise, you girls need to get home!"
"CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES!" screamed the trio as they ran past Pinkie.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh Jesus. They don't know any better, do they? Word of advice for Equestrians? Practice Stranger Danger!"
"Okey dokey lokie! You fillies sure are excited about my cupcakes," remarked Pinkie, who was just as excited to see the sweet young things return for a special sleepover tonight.
Twilight: "It was special because it involved sex."
"CUPCAKES CUPCAKES CUPCAKES!"
Pinkie Pie (singing): "So sweet and tasty!"
shouted the students as they skidded to a stop in front of the cooling rack, ogling the blue cupcakes. Scootaloo reached up and took one of the special creamy, blue cupcakes in her mouth.
Storiesatrandom: "They must be damn good cupcakes."
The blue cupcakes were special; special in ways the fillies could not understand.
All: "Huh?"
A year ago Pinkie had been picking flowers near the Everfree forest.
All: "Oh no."
When she got home she noticed that her lips had been stained blue by some of the flowers and she felt very, very strange but very, very, very good for the rest of the day and then she stopped breathing and started again and stopped and started again and was asleep for a long time before she finally woke up.
Storiesatrandom: "The innocence of this fic is quickly disappearing!"
Zecora was consulted and told Pinkie those were very special flowers and she should never pick them again.
Twilight: "Did Zecora ACTSELLY think Pinkie would listen to reason?"
Pinkie Pie: "HAHA, yeah. Pinkie Pie would never- HEY WAIT A MINUTE!"
When asked why she couldn't pick flowers that made her feel good, Zecora said that some ponies who ate the flowers couldn't stop eating them, and sometimes they got sick and died.
Twilight: "Yet she didn't add the warning of possible insanity."
But Pinkie was never the same after that. She heard voices and saw things that weren't there.
Storiesatrandom: "Like the audience."
She thought Twilight Sparkle was a human in a pony suit.
Twilight: "(Stuttering), WHAT?"
She thought a Fluttershy lived in Rarity's basement and ate clouds.
Storiesatrandom: "Well that's dumb!"
But most disturbingly, she became inappropriately, very inappropriately, infatuated with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Pinkie Pie: "HEY! THAT'S NOT THE PINKIE THAT I KNOW…. IS ME?"
Through her drug-damaged brain she saw Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle as strikingly beautiful Party Ponies.
Storiesatrandom (Pretending to be Mr. Herbert): "You like Popsicles? Hmmmmmm."
In Pinkie's mind,
Twilight: "There is only darkness."
everybody wanted to be best friends with Party Ponies, because they were the bestest, most funnest, and prettiest ponies that ever went to parties.
Storiesatrandom: "In hindsight, this is the same pony that thought Gaston was an old timey movie villain, Joe a secret James Bond rip-off agent, and that female donkey a ninja."
She also knew that for all their fun nature, they were too shy to admit their strong sexual attraction to the vivacious, party-loving, and attractive Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Storiesatrandom: "Pinkie Pie, your so off your rocker."
They were so shy they pretended to be fillies so they could hide in the school all day.
Twilight: "Oh, sure, deny your inner pervert, Pinkie."
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Mr. Herbert again): "I'm gonna slap you right in your penis!"
Pinkie longed to have the soft, beautiful Party Ponies comb her mane and stroke her ears.
Storiesatrandom: "You call that a perverted fanisity? She's nothing to Mikical Jack….. son…. Oh, sorry, that was, that was in bad taste. Forget I said that."
She would lie on her back in a bed of pink party balloons and let the mares nibble her teats and lick the insides of her thighs.
Twilight: "Pinkie is not well, folks. She is not well."
One at a time they would slowly drag their tongues down to her sex, and penetrate her with their tongues. At the same time they would present themselves to Pinkie's mouth, their mare juices tasting like strawberry candy, or lime punch, or vanilla-cream cookies.
All: "…"
Pinkie would eagerly slurp them up, and the Party Ponies would ask her to party with them forever.
Pinkie Pie: "Just to set the record straight, THAT IS NOT ME AT ALL!"
Storiesatrandom (being Mr. Herbert again): "Now you behave yourself or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis."
Both Pinkie and Twilight punch Storiesatrandom in the balls!
Storiesatrandom (high-pitched): "AY!"
Before she had encountered the blue flower, she never would have thought of herpony as a fillyfooler,
Twilight: "Except in Clopfics where she is paired with either dash or others."
Storiesatrandom: "The word "Filly-fooler" always intrigued me. Like Alicorn, It just appeared from nowhere. It is not of canon, yet it's origin can't be traced or currently found in fandom. It just, appeared."
but the voices in her head told her to think and do things odd things. Wanting to be licked by other mares seemed perfectly natural now.
Storiesatrandom: "This fic would be welcomed in the 50's, back when everyone hated others for being different!"
Pinkie was sad that she couldn't make the fillies admit they were her Party Ponies,
Storiesatrandom: "Oh boy, an indicator that this story is showing the final straw."
who Pinkie just knew wanted to love her both emotionally and physically. Then Pinkie thought about the blue flowers that made you feel good. Maybe if she could just make the Party Ponies feel good with the blue flowers then the Party Ponies would like her forever.
Storiesatrandom: "Or be too damn high to process intelligent and demand sex. Either way, it's a win-win situation."
So every Friday she would play along with their ruse and invite them to Sugarcube Corner and praise their academic efforts and serve up a pile of blue-frosted cupcakes.
Twilight: "Isn't that what most parents do? Feed their kids junkfood or pastries in return for getting smarter?"
Storiesatrandom: "Hey, it may somewhat be lazy and uninventive parenting, in fact a violation of their health, but if it ain't broke."
Pinkie kept the pastries coming, until the fillies could eat no more.
Storiesatrandom: "Either getting too high or in a coma."
As time went on the fillies became addicted to the blue drug in the frosting. Eventually they could no longer fight the compulsion to come back and visit Pinkie Pie and her delicious blue cupcakes.
Pinkie Pie: "My cupcakes are the best, after all."
Apple Bloom knocked the cupcake out of Scootaloo's mouth and it rolled onto the counter. "No!" scolded Apple Bloom,
Twilight (mimicking Applebloom): "I just realized that there's something bad in the cupcakes, and Pinkie is not well!"
forcing herpony between Scootaloo and the cupcakes. "We always have to be polite and ask first."
Twilight groaned and facehoof herself.
"Don't touch my cupcake again," shouted Scootaloo "or I swear to Celestia that I will KILL YOU!"
Pinkie Pie: "It scares me when ponies fight over cupcakes."
Storiesatrandom: "Well, maybe you should've thought of that before you added drugs to them, Pinkie."
She threw a wild swing at Apple Bloom. The startled filly ducked just in time, eyes wide with surprise. "Scoot, what's gotten into you? You're all crazy-like on account of cupcakes?"
Storiesatrandom: "This is the result of over-censoring adult cartoons to kids, or making kid cartoons of today TOO kid friendly, they don't know how drug addicts or other forms of adultery work. They're being sensitized to think the world is a clean and friendly place, well, depressing articles in newspapers and other problems of the world say otherwise, and back then, cartoons are not afraid to even so much as briefly reference them. Nowadays, I don't know. I just don't freaking know. I miss the days where cartoons aren't afraid to be offensive, or at least have turned down versions of the more expressive adult shows. Now, just, well, it's upsetting at best, I mean, how else are kids gonna wake up and know there are sick and twisted things in the world, if TV is being restricted?"
Pinkie Pie: "The internet?"
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, but even that is getting picked on for many reasons. It allowed itself to be doing whatever it wants, now the government trying to restrict that more to the point to goes back being nothing but advertisements and blogs. Yes, there are souls fighting for our right to keep the internet free, but, the fact it's happening at all is, depressing. It's just, depressing, and scary, we don't know what the future will hold, will we win? Will we lose? Will America sacrifice the American dream to make a bunch of corporate fat cats that someone isn't uploading their work without prior permission? I mean, if they actually make themselves more available on the internet, and have like, a permission asking place, maybe we wouldn't even have such problems. The internet is supposed to be filled with stuff that is hard to find these days, or filled with expressed forms of opinion. Why have those if you don't want your stuff on it? I mean, what's the point picking on it for doing what comes naturally? I just don't know. It's depressing and concerning. I'm sorry for saying this on something about comedy, but, I just wanted to make you all aware of the problems the internet is facing, and that if nothing is done to keep the internet safe, well, we will be lucky if only video sites like YouTube suffer the most, in fact more focus on, cause we don't know if fan arts and fanfics will be targeted too. Look, I am not predicting dark days ahead, we are still fighting, and hopefully, like when SOPA was a problem, the Declaration of Independence will come through again, right? Its design to prevent bad and unfair laws to pass that monarchies and other non-government or democratic places would otherwise just pass them without anyone's consent. America's not perfect, it has other problems as well, but, at least our government is bonded by the Declaration of Independence thing, and hopefully, won't allow bad laws to make it, even if it meant putting up with more of the corporate media's bitching even more. If should a bad law pass, it will get bitched on like hell with riots and revulsions that the government can't ignore, and will undo the laws. Look, we don't know for sure, so let's hope for the best. Sorry for my extended rant, I just wanted to make a point; I allowed it to get too far, back to riffing a stupid gorefic."
Scootaloo shoot her head and apologized. "I'm sorry Apple Bloom, I don't know what got into me. I just saw those delicious cupcakes and..."
Twilight (mimicking Scootaloo): "I really wanna get high on the strange drug-like ingredient in the frosting."
"Hey, no arguing in Sugarcube Corner!" interjected Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: "I should've stopped them early before, in hindsight."
"That's a rule.
Storiesatrandom: "That's a rule! And that's a-"
Twilight: "We were asked by the producers to go easy on the image jokes. To avoid this one being messed up too greatly like the second riff of Molestia."
And it's an official rule because today is the most specialist, most wonderfulest, most excitingest day in the whole world!"
Twilight: "Pinkie, you always did have a strange vocabulary."
Pinkie threw up her arms
All: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ALIEN!"
and spun around.
Storiesatrandom: "I'm getting dizzy."
This should get the Party Ponies to be nice to her!
Twilight: "Or make them think she's the weirdest pony in Equestria."
The fillies turned toward one another, puzzled.
Storiesatrandom: "Puzzle versions of the cutiemark crusaders? Looks like another advertisement idea for Hasbro."
"Is it Rain Appreciation Day?" hesitantly asked Sweetie Belle.
Storiesatrandom: "Did I ever mention that Equestria has the STRANGEST holidays in existence?"
"No, silly!"
"Did another load of crabapple jam come into town?" guessed Scootaloo.
Twilight: "And what's so special about a new shipment of a byproduct of obscure fruits, why?"
Apple Bloom glared at the pegasus pony. "Don't be stupid. Everypony knows crabapple season isn't for another two weeks." Scootaloo responded by sticking out her tongue.
Storiesatrandom: "Nice, but Gene Simmons has a cooler tongue."
"Nope. One more guess why this is a super, super, super wonderful day."
Pinkie Pie: "Or it's no cupcakes for you three dummy heads."
Storiesatrandom: "Pinkie, just what is your age exactly?"
It was Apple Bloom's turn. She was having trouble thinking today. Was it a vegetable holiday? "Is it maybe Eggplant..."
Storiesatrandom: "Eggplant what?"
"WRONG!" shouted Pinkie. "It's my birthday party!"
Pinkie Pie: "(LONG EXTENDED GASP!) YAY! HAPPY PINKIE'S BIRTHDAY DAY!"
Twilight: "Pinkie, it's just a fic, just because it said it, doesn't mean it's true."
Pinkie Pie: "Oops, sorry."
There was a long pause.
Storiesatrandom: "It was from the video-gamer that had to take a really long bathroom break."
"Wasn't your birthday last month?" asked Sweetie Belle, confused.
Storiesatrandom: "Your defense Pinkie?"
"No, that was my pre-birthday rehearsal day party. Today is the real birthday party, but only for my favorite Party Ponies." Pinkie gave them a sly wink.
Twilight: "Pinkie, the nerve you didn't invite your friends!"
Pinkie Pie: "Don't blame me; blame the guy who wrote this!"
The fillies looked at each other and gave a collective shrug. "She's acting kinda weird, even for Pinkie," whispered Scootaloo.
Storiesatrandom: "I already gave a long rant how TV has been sensitized, I don't wanna to another."
"I'm sorry we didn't get you a present," apologized the quick-thinking Apple Bloom,
Storiesatrandom: "The fastest thinker in the west."
"but we didn't know."
"That's okay, you get to spend the weekend with me while Mr. and Mrs. Cake and the baby are away. You can be my birthday presents!"
Storiesatrandom: "You mean babies; cause if memory serves me well in "Baby Cakes", the cakes had twins."
"Pinkie," interrupted Scootaloo with a little quaver in her voice, "I know it's not polite to interrupt but I was wondering if maybe we could really please have one or two cupcakes right now please before you talk any more now?" Her wings were twitching involuntarily, and she was literally drooling in anticipation. The other ponies were merely antsy but nodded their heads enthusiastically.
"Sure! Dig in!"
Pinkie Pie: "HERE'S YOUR SOVELS!"
Almost before she finished the sentence, Pinkie's guests were cramming their mouths full of cupcakes.
Storiesatrandom: "It always had me curious that your mouths can get unrealistically big in both the show and maybe some fanfics."
Their noses and chins were plastered with blue icing.
Twilight: "Left there by tiny worker elves that constructs candy houses on drug-induced fillies."
"Ah, I feel better," exclaimed Sweetie Belle about twenty minutes later.
Storiesatrandom: "Doesn't feel like 20 minutes later to me."
She let out a long, loud, un-filly-like burp and slid down to the floor.
Twilight: "Rarity would defiantly hate this part."
"So do I," said Scootaloo, who immediately burst into a fit of giggles that lasted for five minutes.
Pinkie Pie: "It didn't even felt like 1 minute!"
Apple Bloom just stared blankly at the ceiling, a very contented look on her face.
Storiesatrandom: "Because she got high, cause she high, cause she got hi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-gh!"
They laughed and joked and played for a long time,
All: "Don't feel like a long time."
until Pinkie said they should all come outside to the cellar for more fun.
Storiesatrandom: "She had her XBOX 360 all ready for them to play."
She was going to have a special party that would be so special that they would stop pretending and be real Party Ponies.
All: "(DISAPPOINTED GRUNT)"
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom waited at the door, but Scootaloo wouldn't stop racing around the kitchen.
Storiesatrandom: "And there goes Scootaloo in first place, followed by an unoriginal plotline and angry critics on her tail!"
The brain-scrambled, sugar-fueled pony was attempting acrobatic flips over the pastry tables, knocking almost every pot and pan to the floor.
Pinkie Pie: "Last time I let Scootaloo in the kitchen."
Pinkie grabbed a broom and swatted her out of the house, but not before taking a hoof to the head from the rambunctious little pony.
Pinkie Pie: "Nopony messes with Pinkie's kitchen!"
Pinkie stumbled out the door as the giggling, snorting, hiccupping, farting, and burping trio headed across the lawn to the cellar.
Storiesatrandom: "I don't think whoever wrote this has a good understanding of people in getting high time. What really occurs is them being either laughing idiots or in a coma-like state."
She swooned and tried to focus, the brain-jarring impact scrambling her already schizophrenic thoughts. She looked out toward the cellar and saw...
Storiesatrandom: "The police."
Three totally stoned fillies, dancing across the lawn.
Storiesatrandom: "GAH! Why are we even do this if the story doesn't change because we add something else to it?"
Still holding her head, she looked around frantically for the Party Ponies.
Pinkie Pie: "Oops, I forgot I made them up and that I am a kooky pedophile!"
She looked up to see if they were flying.
Storiesatrandom: "But she remembers only one of them actually is flight capable."
She looked to see if they had already gone into the cellar.
Twilight: "And I thought Pinkie from the second Chapter of Molestia was a moron."
She spun around to see if they had gone back into the house. They had left her!
Pinkie Pie: "RUDE!"
"Come back!" she screamed. "Be my friend! Come back!"
Pinkie Pie: "You're the only happiness in my life!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stopped their laughing and giggling and turned back toward the voice. They paused for a moment, then pointed at the horrified expression on Pinkie's face, laughed hysterically and continued on toward the cellar.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh boy… this must be where she snaps."
The voices in Pinkies head were very angry at the fillies who had pretended to be her Party Ponies.
Storiesatrandom: "I knew it."
The voices were very, very angry. She had worked so hard to be so nice to them and they had tricked her. Pinkie took off at full gallop toward the little ponies who had been so mean to her. The voices were telling her to do bad things, very bad things.
Twilight: "PINKIE! DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MADNESS!"
The intoxicated ponies saw Pinkie charging at them at top speed. And she didn't look like she was in a party mood anymore.
Storiesatrandom: "This must be the violent part!
Twilight: "Seriously? It blacked out on the most suspenseful part?"
Storiesatrandom: "Perfect time for a break."
Storiesatrandom: "Opinions, go!"
Pinkie: "I just hate it."
Twilight: "It has the typical atrocities that make gorefics un-enjoyable in anyway. Some spelling errors, we don't even know who wrote this smock, incorrect drug reactions in the later part, and that it does drugs at all."
Storiesatrandom: "Trust me, it's gonna get worse."
(BUZZ)
All: "Too soon!"
Apple Bloom's leg woke her up by loudly announcing that it was broken in three places.
Storiesatrandom: "Cool, Apple bloom’s got a talking leg! That's like that talking foot guy from Rocco’s modern life."
The pain was excruciating, just slightly more than her headache. She gently probed the right side of her head with a hoof and discovered it was caked with dirt and dried blood, most likely from what little remained of her equine ear.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh god, our first gore scene and already I are disgusted!"
She opened one eye to see she was lying in some kind of room, with sunlight spilling through cracks in the ceiling. It smelled of damp earth and mildew and rotted wood.
Storiesatrandom: "Thank god they didn't invent smell-o-vision yet."
She knew instantly it must be the Cake's cellar. In the dim light she could see the room was decorated with balloons and streamers and banners welcoming somebody called Party Pony.
Pinkie Pie: "The mark of my disappointment."
"Hello? Is anybody else here?" whispered Apple Bloom.
A low moan came from the darkness.
Storiesatrandom: "AHH! ZOMBIE PONY!"
"Apple Bloom? It's Sweetie Belle. You've to get out of here, now. She's insane! Go!" There was urgency in her voice that implied life or death.
Twilight: "Well duh!"
"I can't; my leg is broken. Besides, I'm not leaving you here."
Storiesatrandom: "The old cliché of choosing to face a horrible fate with your friends then save yourself and get help is a bit over-used, you be a bigger jerk to let them suffer period, just get out and get help, you dumb broad!"
She started to crawl in the direction of the sound but felt a tugging at her neck. It didn't take her long to discover there was a metal collar around her neck, attached to a chain. "Are you on a chain? I am. Where's Scootaloo?"
Twilight: "Did Sweetie Belle just answered herself and asked where Scootaloo is?"
"She's tied up next to me. I don't think she's doing very well. I think she needs cupcakes real bad."
Storiesatrandom: "That's like saying this won't give you cancer!"
Apple Bloom's head throbbed in sympathy. She also felt the siren call of the blue cupcakes.
Storiesatrandom: "There are two words that don't mix: Sirens, and cupcakes."
"What happened? How long have we been here? Where's Pinkie?
Twilight: "Don't waste your breath on asking for the murderer."
Scootaloo cried as she piped to answer those questions. "I don't know. Pinkie just went crazy. One minute she was our friend and the next minute she started hurting us. We were laughing and playing and then she flank-slammed Sweetie Belle down the stairs and it knocked her out cold. Then you were brave and you got between Pinkie and the cellar and told her that if she wanted to hurt any of us she would have to go through you first. I ran down the stairs behind you to help Sweetie Belle but I couldn't get her to wake up. You tried to fight Pinkie but she was just too big for any of us. We heard you scream when she broke your leg. Next thing we saw was Pinkie dragging you down the stairs by your ear, but you were unconscious before you hit the bottom of the stairs."
Storiesatrandom: "You're finished? Well, moving on-"
"Then Pinkie told me she would crush your head if I didn't help tie up Sweetie Belle. I was so scared, Apple Bloom, so I did it. Then she turned on me and she was kicking me and kicking me and she wouldn't stop kicking me and then I hurt too much to fight back and she tied me up, too. I don't remember when she put the collar on you."
Storiesatrandom: "Oh now you're finished?"
Scootaloo pulled herself together.
Twilight: "Was she ever apart?"
"Thank you for being so brave. I know it didn't help much but I'm glad you're my friend."
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Scootaloo): "Even though you failed horribly and are now deaf in one ear."
"I don't know how long we've been here," offered Sweetie Belle. "Scoot's not thinking too clearly sometimes, but from what she said and the shadows
All: "WHAT SHADOWS!"
I think it might be late afternoon on Saturday. I haven't seen Pinkie since the fight."
Pinkie: "So, I just vanished?"
Just then they were blinded as the cellar door opened and Pinkie Pie descended the steps carrying a picnic basket and a bouquet of balloons.
All: "Oh god, here we go."
Apple Bloom saw Sweetie Belle tied against a pole, front hooves over her head. Her white coat was covered with mud and dust, and she had a long gash down one flank. Next to her was Scootaloo, restrained in the same way.
All: "OH! GEEZ!"
"Apple Bloom!" chirped their captor. "You're wakey wakey!
Storiesatrandom: "stranger Pinkie dialog."
Great! We are going to have so much fun. I brought cupcakes, and a new game to go with them."
Pinkie Pie: "We're gonna play Soul Caliber 5!"
As she stepped off the steps a balloon scraped the rough ceiling and popped. "I love party games and made a new one up for all of us." Pinkie was standing over Apple Bloom and glaring down at her. "I mean all of YOU."
Pinkie Pie: "I meant to say you, but I wanted to join in but remembered that it's bad things."
"Why are you doing this, Pinkie? Please let us go," begged Sweetie Belle.
Twilight: "Why begged to the Murderers if you know they won't listen anyway?"
"Why am I doing this?" Pinkie's expression changed instantly from bubbly cherub to sadistic demon.
Storiesatrandom: "Do we really need to be that detailed?"
"Why? WHY? Because you pretended to be my Party Pony friends just to get my blue cupcakes!"
Pinkie Pie: "I don't handle being used well."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, the episode you turned into Pinkamena Pie from that season 1 episode demonstrated it well."
She started screaming now.
Pinkie Pie: "!"
Storiesatrandom: "Oh, thanks. I'll bill you the hearing aid I now require."
"I made those cupcakes for Party Ponies. They were MY Party Ponies and you made them go away because you were you!"
Twilight: "It's a sad sight when an addict's dream is shut down by reality checks."
She kicked a clod of dirt in Apple Bloom's face, which sent her coughing and sputtering. "Mine mine mine mine mine Party Ponies all mine but you little griffon turds
Storiesatrandom: "What? Griffin turds? Ok, I won't even attempt to make fun of that."
stole my PONIES!" She stomped her hooves at each rambling syllable. Eventually she ran out of breath and paused her ranting.
Pinkie Pie: "I have to be sure to listen to Zecora should I actually face these bad flowers."
Others: "PLEASE DO!"
"So me and the new pony friends who are in my head made up this game,
Storiesatrandom: "HAHA! YOU ADMIT THEY WERE FAKE, FAKER!"
which is possibly the most funnest game ever made up, called Too Much, Too Little, or Just Right.
Storiesatrandom: "Sounds more like a rejected nursery rhyme."
Doesn't it sound great?" she asked, bobbing her head in a way that let her captives know that they should bob their heads too, which they did.
Pinkie Pie: "I DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS!"
"Okay, here's how you play. It's all about the blue frosting.
Storiesatrandom: "TITLE DROP!"
Since you love it so much you are all going to die for it." Her face took on an evil grimace.
Storiesatrandom: "Which was a rejected and alternate version of the McDonald's character."
"One of you will get too much of my delicious blue frosting,
Storiesatrandom: "TITLE DROP!"
one of you will get too little, and one of you will get an amount that's just right. And I've, I mean we've, got it all figured it out.
"Your horrible death," she pointed a hoof at Sweetie Bell, "will be caused by too much frosting, because you have a sister who has a cat, and a cat sees very well in the dark. Now 'sees' rhymes with 'keys'..."
Storiesatrandom: "But it's off by a few words!"
In the background Apple Bloom made the crazy motion with her hoof, and Sweetie Belle gave a barely perceptible nod.
Storiesatrandom: "COCO! COCO! COCO!"
"and keys go in locks, and Sweetie Belle's sister has locks of beautiful purple hair.
Pinkie Pie: "But no keys to revel her beautiful bald spot!"
So all the ponies in my head, except the brown one who couldn't take even a second away from her math homework ..."
Twilight: "Pinkie, you're off your rocker."
Pinkie stopped, swatted an imaginary fly overhead,
Storiesatrandom: "I think the cast of Foster's home for imaginary friends will no doubt hate this fic for this part alone, aside from the other disgusting things about it!"
and continued. "voted, and everypony agreed that you would get too much frosting." Pinkie gave herpony a very self-satisfied, I-am-a-smart-pony smile.
Twilight: "That is not deserving of her."
"That means that the pony that kicked me in the head," she motioned toward Scootaloo, "will get too little. In fact, she won't get any at all. I asked all of the Ponies in my head, even the ones living in the apple pastries, and none of them like her."
Pinkie Pie: "Nor did the pots and pans Scoot here knocked earlier for being a loony mcloony pants!"
'Too little' was Scootaloo's dangerous predicament at the moment. The pegasus pony was in excruciating pain, with tears at the corner of her blood-shot eyes. Little Scootaloo was the first to become hooked on the blue stuff at the "good grades parties", and always ate twice as many cupcakes and got twice as stoned as the other fillies. Tonight she had made an absolute pig of herpony,
Storiesatrandom: "What is with the "Herpony" word anyway? Is that another pony word that isn't canon but trying to get known in fanon word with no traceable place of origin thing?"
and later snuck back into the kitchen and eaten all the leftover cupcakes, and devoured the leftover frosting. Tonight she had eaten almost three times as much frosting as the other fillies.
Storiesatrandom: "Rainbow Dash is disappointed in you, Scooty."
As a result she was crashing hard. Really hard. Every cell in Scootaloo's body was screaming for more blue.
Storiesatrandom: "It got tired being orange, and wanted to be just like Rainbow dash! I post an image as a joke, but this fic does not deserve it."
Her body remembered drowning in an ocean of ecstasy,
Twilight: "Where it is nothing but continuous sex."
and it wanted that feeling again more than anything else. She was trembling and twitching, and the light from the cellar door revealed she was covered in sweat, as well as huge bruises.
Storiesatrandom: "Wow, Pinkie can punch hard."
Pinkie smiled a crooked grimace at Apple Bloom,
Storiesatrandom: "Which is another alternate character idea for said McDonald's character!"
cowering beneath her. "And you are going to get an amount that's just right, because your red bow looks like a party ribbon. But you'll get your prize, which will be the most painful of all, after I take care of the other two."
All: "….."
Pinkie motioned to a dusty couch in the corner. "Now be a good little filly and wait over there for me." Apple Bloom just sat there, in shock over the whole situation.
Twilight: "Pinkie, Did you just forgot that she's chained?"
Pinkie pulled out a trumpet and played "WOMP WOMP WOMP!"
"I said move!" and Pinkie kicked her bad leg. The wounded pony screamed, causing the other two prisoners to wince sympathetically. Apple Bloom, sobbing, started dragging herpony and the chain in the direction of the couch.
Twilight: "Wow, you mean she actually could've escaped and get help the entire time and the chain wouldn't do anything?"
Storiesatrandom: "YOU'RE TELLING ME TO BELIEVE THAT! THIS IS STUPID! STUPID, STUPID, (started to fast forward in a manner similar to the Nostalgia critic for a while)
Pinkie and Twilight stepped away from Storiesatrandom till he stopped.
Storiesatrandom: "(finally stopping, sobs for a bit)"
Twilight: "Wow. Just, wow. Ordinarily, you have a stronger tolerance to extreme stupidity."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, but this is like, the tumor of stupidity!"
Inside Storiesatrandom brain:
A peter shaped Tumor: "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
Oh, Oh, Oh I'm a tumor"
"Now for Little Miss Too Much." Pinkie picked up the basket and walked over to Sweetie Belle. Reaching into the basket, she pulled out a large, bulging pastry bag and hung it on the pole over Pinkie's head. A tube dropped from the bag and twirled around her ankles.
Storiesatrandom: "It was really a snake!"
"I have to admit, I wanted Sweetie Belle to win this game, so I came up with a way for her to cheat." She picked up the tube and waved the end under her victim's nose. "What's that smell like?"
Sweetie Belle's weary face lightened. "Frosting. It smells like frosting."
Twilight (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "And maybe a touch of rubber."
"That's right! I needed a way to make sure you could eat more frosting than anybody else, but this dainty little mouth of yours," Pinkie squeezed Sweetie Belle's mouth into a perfect O, "couldn't eat nearly enough of my precious cupcakes fast enough.
Storiesatrandom: "Why not instead make them smaller?"
So all the lime-colored ponies in my head came up with a positively splendid idea."
Storiesatrandom: "COCO! COCO! COCO!"
With that, Pinkie spun her around and smashed the strengthless filly against the pole. From her vantage spot across the cellar, Apple Bloom stared in disbelief as Pinkie spit once, then twice onto her hoof and jammed it between Sweetie Belle's cheeks, making her asshole slick with saliva.
All: "…"
Storiesatrandom: "Let's agree to skip this one."
Sweetie Belle cried out in pain, surprise, and fear.
Storiesatrandom: "How the hell anyone can be all three at once?"
Apple Bloom watched with amazement and disgust as Pinkie reached down,
Storiesatrandom: "Oh for god's sake, pick an emotion! You can't be both!"
grabbed the end of the tube with her teeth and shoved it and her muzzle in the crack of Sweetie Belle's ass. Sweetie squealed and kicked as the tube searched for and penetrated her anus.
Storiesatrandom: "Now Sweetie Belle knows what the cows in the breeding facilities are going through."
The dusty white filly froze as her sodomizer forced inch after inch of tubing through her bowels into her large intestine. Pinkie stood up and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
Storiesatrandom: "Since when the hell is Pinkie Pie a bird?"
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Twilight: "Tell that to Sweetie Belle."
Storiesatrandom: "And the cows from the breeding facility."
Pinkie took a strip of cloth and tied the tube against Sweetie Belle's leg. "That's to make sure it doesn't slip out. Now, get ready for this."
"Pinkie, don't," croaked Scootaloo
Storiesatrandom: "Looks like Scootaloo went from chicken to frog in that amount of time folks."
"Don't do this."
Their torturer ignored her.
Storiesatrandom: "Gorefic tradition much?"
She grabbed the bag and gave it gave it a squeeze. A couple of seconds later Sweetie Belle's eyes got very wide. "Oh!" she exclaimed.
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "So that's what straight sex feels like!"
"What is it Sweetie?" asked Scootloo.
"Yes, dearie, tell her how you're going to win the game."
"I don't know. It feels kinda like when you eat a cupcake, but better."
Twilight (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "Admittedly though, I could've gone without the anal probing."
Pinkie gave another squeeze, and Sweetie Belle's eyes fluttered and her body gave a little shudder. "Wow. That feels like eating a whole lot of cupcakes all at once." As if in confirmation her eyes took on that glassy look of somepony who's had too much blue.
Storiesatrandom: "I'm blue, dabba di dabbi dye, dabba di dabba dye, dabba di dabba dye, dabba di dabba dye, dauble di dabba dye."
"Yes, I think that is working quite nicely. We'll just leave you and your little bag of blue happiness for a while."
All: "Is it over?"
Pinkie grabbed the basket in her teeth, pushed the cellar door open and left, without leaving anything for the other two ponies.
End of Part 1
All: "HALLIUYA!"
Storiesatrandom: "So… We're all in agreement."
Pinkie: "Yep."
Twilight: "Yes."
Storiesatrandom: 'After me…"
All: "THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST FIC EVER!'
Storiesatrandom: "So bad Twilight and Pinkie refused to give a second opinion. So, my second opinion is what it's gonna get. It's bad. It's god awful bad! It deserves the well placed insult of being the love child of SAM and CUPCAKES! In fact, so awful, I am not even sure if I'll be able to continue this shit, because it's gonna get worse from here! This is, without a doubt, the craziest, grossest, stupidest, and just plain wrong fic the mods ever allowed into this site! I admit I wrote my fair share of questionable fics, but this, this! It's just, GEYAHHHH! It's disgusting! Drugs, child abuse, and Cupcakes rip-offs in one fic was too much man, TOO MUCH! In fact, it deserves its bad ratings, and I won't be surprised if it because the most hated fic, since SAM! I am Storiesatrandom, and they were Pinkie Pie and Twilight, we remember it so you don't have too! And I strongly advise you avoid that, fic! It's so awful, it's like, the Garbage pail kids movie of fanfics! Yeah, I went there, this fic is up there with that EVEN worse movie! (Long silence)….. Ok, for real this time. I'm Storiesatrandom, and they are Pinkie Pie and Twilight, we remember it so you don't have to."
Enjoy!
Hello, I'm Storiesatrandom, I remember it so you don't have to. We all are aware of the bazillion sequels to the infamous gorefic, Cupcakes. You know, the very sickening and violent, not to mention lacking of canon character portrayal of a gorefic? Basically, it was about Pinkie Pie suddenly capturing and murdering Rainbow Dash. The disgusting fic ended up so popular, it spawned many fan art, several videos that take a similar play on this, and, as we are painfully aware, the many, many, many, and most of the time half baked, sequels. Trust me, typed Cupcakes, heck, check fan labor wiki, and you'll find out it generated many sequels, like, Pinkie Pie attacking more victims, or being either captured or destroyed, heck, it even inspired another gorefic "Rocket to Insanity" when Rainbow became the psycho! Bottom-line, despite its obvious disgusting nature, people went nuts for it… but, clearly, after facing more and more, and often nonsensical spin-offs, it got old with us. In rare cases, there are those interesting or, half worthy sequels or spin-offs, in fact, there are gore-fics that take a similar but original take on the idea. But the lack of originally and/or other known mistakes has taken its toll on Cupcakes in fanfics, while it stay strong in fan pics and started to keep a steady pace in YouTube, if though it's rare on that place, thank god. Then there's the other gorefics that were technically inspired, but took an original, and just as disturbing approach, like the aforementioned RTI, "The rainbow factory" and the ridiculously disturbing "Sweet Apple Massacre". Now, SAM is vile because it involved child rape and death of the Cutiemark crusaders, and it bared a similar, but not entirely positive infamy in fandom. But, when I was surfing FIMFiction, I discovered something I wished I did not found: a fic called Blue Frosting. It's apparently the love child of Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre; it has the CMC suffering and dying, and a psycho Pinkie Pie. What's worse, it has many versions on how it freaken ends! Either happy but dark, or full blown Gorefic tradition ending. Also, an added insult, it involves drugs. Yes, everyone getting high and one of them gets murderous with it. Well, this will be an interesting take off of Molestia while I think for jokes for that. But this fic was so, love child of both heinous gorefics; I have to give this a beating before RatherHomely gets a whiff of this!
Small warning, this fic tends to be, expressive.
Storiesatrandom: "Ok, this is gonna be tough, we're talking about a fic that is a love child of Cupcakes and SAM."
Twilight: "Why we decided to do this, I'll never know."
Pinkie Pie: "Too bad Celestia and Rarity are missing out on this."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, trust me; they have a good reason why they won't make an appearance."
(BUZZ!)
Storiesatrandom: "ICEBURG AHEAD! BRACE FOR IMPACT!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were so proud of themselves.
Storiesatrandom: "(Gasp), did they finally get Cutiemarks?"
Pinkie Pie had promised them a "good-grades" party for each week they got straight A's in school, and this was their fourth week in a row, except this week Scootaloo had gotten one B in Math, but Pinkie had said it was okay anyway.
Twilight: "To our disappointment, no."
"It's getting real hard to concentrate on Friday afternoon," admitted Scootaloo.
Pinkie Pie (mimicking Scootaloo): "Especially since we don't have hands to write, or those that are young Unicorns can't do magic yet."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, I can imagine how having no thumbs or fingers can be a real pain in the ass."
"It's like somepony filled my head with sand instead of brains."
Twilight: "I bet it was the Sandpony again. Celestia has got to set that guy straight."
They all agreed that it was getting harder to concentrate as the week went on; all they could think of was the celebration party at Pinkie's house.
Storiesatrandom: "They even forgot their hopes and dreams about getting Cutiemarks because of the parties."
Actually, it wasn't the party that excited them,
All: "Huh?"
it was Pinkie's extra special you're-a-fabulous-student prize: blue cupcakes.
Pinkie Pie: "Well I do make fabulous Cupcakes!"
The cupcakes were delicious and made them feel so good and happy that by Friday they were tempted to skip school altogether and head straight for the cupcakes.
Twilight: "But it failed because of interfering Prefects."
Storiesatrandom: "And their pesky dog, too!"
"CUPCAKES!" screamed the trio as they burst through the front door into Sugarcube Corner.
Storiesatrandom: "PANCAKES!"
Pinkie and Twilight: "….."
Storiesatrandom: "Thought we were playing a game."
"Wowie Zowie!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Are you fillies ready for a fun, fun..."
Pinkie Pie: "That is if you got parents' permission, otherwise, you girls need to get home!"
"CUPCAKES! CUPCAKES!" screamed the trio as they ran past Pinkie.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh Jesus. They don't know any better, do they? Word of advice for Equestrians? Practice Stranger Danger!"
"Okey dokey lokie! You fillies sure are excited about my cupcakes," remarked Pinkie, who was just as excited to see the sweet young things return for a special sleepover tonight.
Twilight: "It was special because it involved sex."
"CUPCAKES CUPCAKES CUPCAKES!"
Pinkie Pie (singing): "So sweet and tasty!"
shouted the students as they skidded to a stop in front of the cooling rack, ogling the blue cupcakes. Scootaloo reached up and took one of the special creamy, blue cupcakes in her mouth.
Storiesatrandom: "They must be damn good cupcakes."
The blue cupcakes were special; special in ways the fillies could not understand.
All: "Huh?"
A year ago Pinkie had been picking flowers near the Everfree forest.
All: "Oh no."
When she got home she noticed that her lips had been stained blue by some of the flowers and she felt very, very strange but very, very, very good for the rest of the day and then she stopped breathing and started again and stopped and started again and was asleep for a long time before she finally woke up.
Storiesatrandom: "The innocence of this fic is quickly disappearing!"
Zecora was consulted and told Pinkie those were very special flowers and she should never pick them again.
Twilight: "Did Zecora ACTSELLY think Pinkie would listen to reason?"
Pinkie Pie: "HAHA, yeah. Pinkie Pie would never- HEY WAIT A MINUTE!"
When asked why she couldn't pick flowers that made her feel good, Zecora said that some ponies who ate the flowers couldn't stop eating them, and sometimes they got sick and died.
Twilight: "Yet she didn't add the warning of possible insanity."
But Pinkie was never the same after that. She heard voices and saw things that weren't there.
Storiesatrandom: "Like the audience."
She thought Twilight Sparkle was a human in a pony suit.
Twilight: "(Stuttering), WHAT?"
She thought a Fluttershy lived in Rarity's basement and ate clouds.
Storiesatrandom: "Well that's dumb!"
But most disturbingly, she became inappropriately, very inappropriately, infatuated with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
Pinkie Pie: "HEY! THAT'S NOT THE PINKIE THAT I KNOW…. IS ME?"
Through her drug-damaged brain she saw Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle as strikingly beautiful Party Ponies.
Storiesatrandom (Pretending to be Mr. Herbert): "You like Popsicles? Hmmmmmm."
In Pinkie's mind,
Twilight: "There is only darkness."
everybody wanted to be best friends with Party Ponies, because they were the bestest, most funnest, and prettiest ponies that ever went to parties.
Storiesatrandom: "In hindsight, this is the same pony that thought Gaston was an old timey movie villain, Joe a secret James Bond rip-off agent, and that female donkey a ninja."
She also knew that for all their fun nature, they were too shy to admit their strong sexual attraction to the vivacious, party-loving, and attractive Pinkamena Diane Pie.
Storiesatrandom: "Pinkie Pie, your so off your rocker."
They were so shy they pretended to be fillies so they could hide in the school all day.
Twilight: "Oh, sure, deny your inner pervert, Pinkie."
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Mr. Herbert again): "I'm gonna slap you right in your penis!"
Pinkie longed to have the soft, beautiful Party Ponies comb her mane and stroke her ears.
Storiesatrandom: "You call that a perverted fanisity? She's nothing to Mikical Jack….. son…. Oh, sorry, that was, that was in bad taste. Forget I said that."
She would lie on her back in a bed of pink party balloons and let the mares nibble her teats and lick the insides of her thighs.
Twilight: "Pinkie is not well, folks. She is not well."
One at a time they would slowly drag their tongues down to her sex, and penetrate her with their tongues. At the same time they would present themselves to Pinkie's mouth, their mare juices tasting like strawberry candy, or lime punch, or vanilla-cream cookies.
All: "…"
Pinkie would eagerly slurp them up, and the Party Ponies would ask her to party with them forever.
Pinkie Pie: "Just to set the record straight, THAT IS NOT ME AT ALL!"
Storiesatrandom (being Mr. Herbert again): "Now you behave yourself or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis."
Both Pinkie and Twilight punch Storiesatrandom in the balls!
Storiesatrandom (high-pitched): "AY!"
Before she had encountered the blue flower, she never would have thought of herpony as a fillyfooler,
Twilight: "Except in Clopfics where she is paired with either dash or others."
Storiesatrandom: "The word "Filly-fooler" always intrigued me. Like Alicorn, It just appeared from nowhere. It is not of canon, yet it's origin can't be traced or currently found in fandom. It just, appeared."
but the voices in her head told her to think and do things odd things. Wanting to be licked by other mares seemed perfectly natural now.
Storiesatrandom: "This fic would be welcomed in the 50's, back when everyone hated others for being different!"
Pinkie was sad that she couldn't make the fillies admit they were her Party Ponies,
Storiesatrandom: "Oh boy, an indicator that this story is showing the final straw."
who Pinkie just knew wanted to love her both emotionally and physically. Then Pinkie thought about the blue flowers that made you feel good. Maybe if she could just make the Party Ponies feel good with the blue flowers then the Party Ponies would like her forever.
Storiesatrandom: "Or be too damn high to process intelligent and demand sex. Either way, it's a win-win situation."
So every Friday she would play along with their ruse and invite them to Sugarcube Corner and praise their academic efforts and serve up a pile of blue-frosted cupcakes.
Twilight: "Isn't that what most parents do? Feed their kids junkfood or pastries in return for getting smarter?"
Storiesatrandom: "Hey, it may somewhat be lazy and uninventive parenting, in fact a violation of their health, but if it ain't broke."
Pinkie kept the pastries coming, until the fillies could eat no more.
Storiesatrandom: "Either getting too high or in a coma."
As time went on the fillies became addicted to the blue drug in the frosting. Eventually they could no longer fight the compulsion to come back and visit Pinkie Pie and her delicious blue cupcakes.
Pinkie Pie: "My cupcakes are the best, after all."
Apple Bloom knocked the cupcake out of Scootaloo's mouth and it rolled onto the counter. "No!" scolded Apple Bloom,
Twilight (mimicking Applebloom): "I just realized that there's something bad in the cupcakes, and Pinkie is not well!"
forcing herpony between Scootaloo and the cupcakes. "We always have to be polite and ask first."
Twilight groaned and facehoof herself.
"Don't touch my cupcake again," shouted Scootaloo "or I swear to Celestia that I will KILL YOU!"
Pinkie Pie: "It scares me when ponies fight over cupcakes."
Storiesatrandom: "Well, maybe you should've thought of that before you added drugs to them, Pinkie."
She threw a wild swing at Apple Bloom. The startled filly ducked just in time, eyes wide with surprise. "Scoot, what's gotten into you? You're all crazy-like on account of cupcakes?"
Storiesatrandom: "This is the result of over-censoring adult cartoons to kids, or making kid cartoons of today TOO kid friendly, they don't know how drug addicts or other forms of adultery work. They're being sensitized to think the world is a clean and friendly place, well, depressing articles in newspapers and other problems of the world say otherwise, and back then, cartoons are not afraid to even so much as briefly reference them. Nowadays, I don't know. I just don't freaking know. I miss the days where cartoons aren't afraid to be offensive, or at least have turned down versions of the more expressive adult shows. Now, just, well, it's upsetting at best, I mean, how else are kids gonna wake up and know there are sick and twisted things in the world, if TV is being restricted?"
Pinkie Pie: "The internet?"
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, but even that is getting picked on for many reasons. It allowed itself to be doing whatever it wants, now the government trying to restrict that more to the point to goes back being nothing but advertisements and blogs. Yes, there are souls fighting for our right to keep the internet free, but, the fact it's happening at all is, depressing. It's just, depressing, and scary, we don't know what the future will hold, will we win? Will we lose? Will America sacrifice the American dream to make a bunch of corporate fat cats that someone isn't uploading their work without prior permission? I mean, if they actually make themselves more available on the internet, and have like, a permission asking place, maybe we wouldn't even have such problems. The internet is supposed to be filled with stuff that is hard to find these days, or filled with expressed forms of opinion. Why have those if you don't want your stuff on it? I mean, what's the point picking on it for doing what comes naturally? I just don't know. It's depressing and concerning. I'm sorry for saying this on something about comedy, but, I just wanted to make you all aware of the problems the internet is facing, and that if nothing is done to keep the internet safe, well, we will be lucky if only video sites like YouTube suffer the most, in fact more focus on, cause we don't know if fan arts and fanfics will be targeted too. Look, I am not predicting dark days ahead, we are still fighting, and hopefully, like when SOPA was a problem, the Declaration of Independence will come through again, right? Its design to prevent bad and unfair laws to pass that monarchies and other non-government or democratic places would otherwise just pass them without anyone's consent. America's not perfect, it has other problems as well, but, at least our government is bonded by the Declaration of Independence thing, and hopefully, won't allow bad laws to make it, even if it meant putting up with more of the corporate media's bitching even more. If should a bad law pass, it will get bitched on like hell with riots and revulsions that the government can't ignore, and will undo the laws. Look, we don't know for sure, so let's hope for the best. Sorry for my extended rant, I just wanted to make a point; I allowed it to get too far, back to riffing a stupid gorefic."
Scootaloo shoot her head and apologized. "I'm sorry Apple Bloom, I don't know what got into me. I just saw those delicious cupcakes and..."
Twilight (mimicking Scootaloo): "I really wanna get high on the strange drug-like ingredient in the frosting."
"Hey, no arguing in Sugarcube Corner!" interjected Pinkie.
Pinkie Pie: "I should've stopped them early before, in hindsight."
"That's a rule.
Storiesatrandom: "That's a rule! And that's a-"
Twilight: "We were asked by the producers to go easy on the image jokes. To avoid this one being messed up too greatly like the second riff of Molestia."
And it's an official rule because today is the most specialist, most wonderfulest, most excitingest day in the whole world!"
Twilight: "Pinkie, you always did have a strange vocabulary."
Pinkie threw up her arms
All: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ALIEN!"
and spun around.
Storiesatrandom: "I'm getting dizzy."
This should get the Party Ponies to be nice to her!
Twilight: "Or make them think she's the weirdest pony in Equestria."
The fillies turned toward one another, puzzled.
Storiesatrandom: "Puzzle versions of the cutiemark crusaders? Looks like another advertisement idea for Hasbro."
"Is it Rain Appreciation Day?" hesitantly asked Sweetie Belle.
Storiesatrandom: "Did I ever mention that Equestria has the STRANGEST holidays in existence?"
"No, silly!"
"Did another load of crabapple jam come into town?" guessed Scootaloo.
Twilight: "And what's so special about a new shipment of a byproduct of obscure fruits, why?"
Apple Bloom glared at the pegasus pony. "Don't be stupid. Everypony knows crabapple season isn't for another two weeks." Scootaloo responded by sticking out her tongue.
Storiesatrandom: "Nice, but Gene Simmons has a cooler tongue."
"Nope. One more guess why this is a super, super, super wonderful day."
Pinkie Pie: "Or it's no cupcakes for you three dummy heads."
Storiesatrandom: "Pinkie, just what is your age exactly?"
It was Apple Bloom's turn. She was having trouble thinking today. Was it a vegetable holiday? "Is it maybe Eggplant..."
Storiesatrandom: "Eggplant what?"
"WRONG!" shouted Pinkie. "It's my birthday party!"
Pinkie Pie: "(LONG EXTENDED GASP!) YAY! HAPPY PINKIE'S BIRTHDAY DAY!"
Twilight: "Pinkie, it's just a fic, just because it said it, doesn't mean it's true."
Pinkie Pie: "Oops, sorry."
There was a long pause.
Storiesatrandom: "It was from the video-gamer that had to take a really long bathroom break."
"Wasn't your birthday last month?" asked Sweetie Belle, confused.
Storiesatrandom: "Your defense Pinkie?"
"No, that was my pre-birthday rehearsal day party. Today is the real birthday party, but only for my favorite Party Ponies." Pinkie gave them a sly wink.
Twilight: "Pinkie, the nerve you didn't invite your friends!"
Pinkie Pie: "Don't blame me; blame the guy who wrote this!"
The fillies looked at each other and gave a collective shrug. "She's acting kinda weird, even for Pinkie," whispered Scootaloo.
Storiesatrandom: "I already gave a long rant how TV has been sensitized, I don't wanna to another."
"I'm sorry we didn't get you a present," apologized the quick-thinking Apple Bloom,
Storiesatrandom: "The fastest thinker in the west."
"but we didn't know."
"That's okay, you get to spend the weekend with me while Mr. and Mrs. Cake and the baby are away. You can be my birthday presents!"
Storiesatrandom: "You mean babies; cause if memory serves me well in "Baby Cakes", the cakes had twins."
"Pinkie," interrupted Scootaloo with a little quaver in her voice, "I know it's not polite to interrupt but I was wondering if maybe we could really please have one or two cupcakes right now please before you talk any more now?" Her wings were twitching involuntarily, and she was literally drooling in anticipation. The other ponies were merely antsy but nodded their heads enthusiastically.
"Sure! Dig in!"
Pinkie Pie: "HERE'S YOUR SOVELS!"
Almost before she finished the sentence, Pinkie's guests were cramming their mouths full of cupcakes.
Storiesatrandom: "It always had me curious that your mouths can get unrealistically big in both the show and maybe some fanfics."
Their noses and chins were plastered with blue icing.
Twilight: "Left there by tiny worker elves that constructs candy houses on drug-induced fillies."
"Ah, I feel better," exclaimed Sweetie Belle about twenty minutes later.
Storiesatrandom: "Doesn't feel like 20 minutes later to me."
She let out a long, loud, un-filly-like burp and slid down to the floor.
Twilight: "Rarity would defiantly hate this part."
"So do I," said Scootaloo, who immediately burst into a fit of giggles that lasted for five minutes.
Pinkie Pie: "It didn't even felt like 1 minute!"
Apple Bloom just stared blankly at the ceiling, a very contented look on her face.
Storiesatrandom: "Because she got high, cause she high, cause she got hi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-gh!"
They laughed and joked and played for a long time,
All: "Don't feel like a long time."
until Pinkie said they should all come outside to the cellar for more fun.
Storiesatrandom: "She had her XBOX 360 all ready for them to play."
She was going to have a special party that would be so special that they would stop pretending and be real Party Ponies.
All: "(DISAPPOINTED GRUNT)"
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom waited at the door, but Scootaloo wouldn't stop racing around the kitchen.
Storiesatrandom: "And there goes Scootaloo in first place, followed by an unoriginal plotline and angry critics on her tail!"
The brain-scrambled, sugar-fueled pony was attempting acrobatic flips over the pastry tables, knocking almost every pot and pan to the floor.
Pinkie Pie: "Last time I let Scootaloo in the kitchen."
Pinkie grabbed a broom and swatted her out of the house, but not before taking a hoof to the head from the rambunctious little pony.
Pinkie Pie: "Nopony messes with Pinkie's kitchen!"
Pinkie stumbled out the door as the giggling, snorting, hiccupping, farting, and burping trio headed across the lawn to the cellar.
Storiesatrandom: "I don't think whoever wrote this has a good understanding of people in getting high time. What really occurs is them being either laughing idiots or in a coma-like state."
She swooned and tried to focus, the brain-jarring impact scrambling her already schizophrenic thoughts. She looked out toward the cellar and saw...
Storiesatrandom: "The police."
Three totally stoned fillies, dancing across the lawn.
Storiesatrandom: "GAH! Why are we even do this if the story doesn't change because we add something else to it?"
Still holding her head, she looked around frantically for the Party Ponies.
Pinkie Pie: "Oops, I forgot I made them up and that I am a kooky pedophile!"
She looked up to see if they were flying.
Storiesatrandom: "But she remembers only one of them actually is flight capable."
She looked to see if they had already gone into the cellar.
Twilight: "And I thought Pinkie from the second Chapter of Molestia was a moron."
She spun around to see if they had gone back into the house. They had left her!
Pinkie Pie: "RUDE!"
"Come back!" she screamed. "Be my friend! Come back!"
Pinkie Pie: "You're the only happiness in my life!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stopped their laughing and giggling and turned back toward the voice. They paused for a moment, then pointed at the horrified expression on Pinkie's face, laughed hysterically and continued on toward the cellar.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh boy… this must be where she snaps."
The voices in Pinkies head were very angry at the fillies who had pretended to be her Party Ponies.
Storiesatrandom: "I knew it."
The voices were very, very angry. She had worked so hard to be so nice to them and they had tricked her. Pinkie took off at full gallop toward the little ponies who had been so mean to her. The voices were telling her to do bad things, very bad things.
Twilight: "PINKIE! DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR MADNESS!"
The intoxicated ponies saw Pinkie charging at them at top speed. And she didn't look like she was in a party mood anymore.
Storiesatrandom: "This must be the violent part!
Twilight: "Seriously? It blacked out on the most suspenseful part?"
Storiesatrandom: "Perfect time for a break."
Storiesatrandom: "Opinions, go!"
Pinkie: "I just hate it."
Twilight: "It has the typical atrocities that make gorefics un-enjoyable in anyway. Some spelling errors, we don't even know who wrote this smock, incorrect drug reactions in the later part, and that it does drugs at all."
Storiesatrandom: "Trust me, it's gonna get worse."
(BUZZ)
All: "Too soon!"
Apple Bloom's leg woke her up by loudly announcing that it was broken in three places.
Storiesatrandom: "Cool, Apple bloom’s got a talking leg! That's like that talking foot guy from Rocco’s modern life."
The pain was excruciating, just slightly more than her headache. She gently probed the right side of her head with a hoof and discovered it was caked with dirt and dried blood, most likely from what little remained of her equine ear.
Storiesatrandom: "Oh god, our first gore scene and already I are disgusted!"
She opened one eye to see she was lying in some kind of room, with sunlight spilling through cracks in the ceiling. It smelled of damp earth and mildew and rotted wood.
Storiesatrandom: "Thank god they didn't invent smell-o-vision yet."
She knew instantly it must be the Cake's cellar. In the dim light she could see the room was decorated with balloons and streamers and banners welcoming somebody called Party Pony.
Pinkie Pie: "The mark of my disappointment."
"Hello? Is anybody else here?" whispered Apple Bloom.
A low moan came from the darkness.
Storiesatrandom: "AHH! ZOMBIE PONY!"
"Apple Bloom? It's Sweetie Belle. You've to get out of here, now. She's insane! Go!" There was urgency in her voice that implied life or death.
Twilight: "Well duh!"
"I can't; my leg is broken. Besides, I'm not leaving you here."
Storiesatrandom: "The old cliché of choosing to face a horrible fate with your friends then save yourself and get help is a bit over-used, you be a bigger jerk to let them suffer period, just get out and get help, you dumb broad!"
She started to crawl in the direction of the sound but felt a tugging at her neck. It didn't take her long to discover there was a metal collar around her neck, attached to a chain. "Are you on a chain? I am. Where's Scootaloo?"
Twilight: "Did Sweetie Belle just answered herself and asked where Scootaloo is?"
"She's tied up next to me. I don't think she's doing very well. I think she needs cupcakes real bad."
Storiesatrandom: "That's like saying this won't give you cancer!"
Apple Bloom's head throbbed in sympathy. She also felt the siren call of the blue cupcakes.
Storiesatrandom: "There are two words that don't mix: Sirens, and cupcakes."
"What happened? How long have we been here? Where's Pinkie?
Twilight: "Don't waste your breath on asking for the murderer."
Scootaloo cried as she piped to answer those questions. "I don't know. Pinkie just went crazy. One minute she was our friend and the next minute she started hurting us. We were laughing and playing and then she flank-slammed Sweetie Belle down the stairs and it knocked her out cold. Then you were brave and you got between Pinkie and the cellar and told her that if she wanted to hurt any of us she would have to go through you first. I ran down the stairs behind you to help Sweetie Belle but I couldn't get her to wake up. You tried to fight Pinkie but she was just too big for any of us. We heard you scream when she broke your leg. Next thing we saw was Pinkie dragging you down the stairs by your ear, but you were unconscious before you hit the bottom of the stairs."
Storiesatrandom: "You're finished? Well, moving on-"
"Then Pinkie told me she would crush your head if I didn't help tie up Sweetie Belle. I was so scared, Apple Bloom, so I did it. Then she turned on me and she was kicking me and kicking me and she wouldn't stop kicking me and then I hurt too much to fight back and she tied me up, too. I don't remember when she put the collar on you."
Storiesatrandom: "Oh now you're finished?"
Scootaloo pulled herself together.
Twilight: "Was she ever apart?"
"Thank you for being so brave. I know it didn't help much but I'm glad you're my friend."
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Scootaloo): "Even though you failed horribly and are now deaf in one ear."
"I don't know how long we've been here," offered Sweetie Belle. "Scoot's not thinking too clearly sometimes, but from what she said and the shadows
All: "WHAT SHADOWS!"
I think it might be late afternoon on Saturday. I haven't seen Pinkie since the fight."
Pinkie: "So, I just vanished?"
Just then they were blinded as the cellar door opened and Pinkie Pie descended the steps carrying a picnic basket and a bouquet of balloons.
All: "Oh god, here we go."
Apple Bloom saw Sweetie Belle tied against a pole, front hooves over her head. Her white coat was covered with mud and dust, and she had a long gash down one flank. Next to her was Scootaloo, restrained in the same way.
All: "OH! GEEZ!"
"Apple Bloom!" chirped their captor. "You're wakey wakey!
Storiesatrandom: "stranger Pinkie dialog."
Great! We are going to have so much fun. I brought cupcakes, and a new game to go with them."
Pinkie Pie: "We're gonna play Soul Caliber 5!"
As she stepped off the steps a balloon scraped the rough ceiling and popped. "I love party games and made a new one up for all of us." Pinkie was standing over Apple Bloom and glaring down at her. "I mean all of YOU."
Pinkie Pie: "I meant to say you, but I wanted to join in but remembered that it's bad things."
"Why are you doing this, Pinkie? Please let us go," begged Sweetie Belle.
Twilight: "Why begged to the Murderers if you know they won't listen anyway?"
"Why am I doing this?" Pinkie's expression changed instantly from bubbly cherub to sadistic demon.
Storiesatrandom: "Do we really need to be that detailed?"
"Why? WHY? Because you pretended to be my Party Pony friends just to get my blue cupcakes!"
Pinkie Pie: "I don't handle being used well."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, the episode you turned into Pinkamena Pie from that season 1 episode demonstrated it well."
She started screaming now.
Pinkie Pie: "!"
Storiesatrandom: "Oh, thanks. I'll bill you the hearing aid I now require."
"I made those cupcakes for Party Ponies. They were MY Party Ponies and you made them go away because you were you!"
Twilight: "It's a sad sight when an addict's dream is shut down by reality checks."
She kicked a clod of dirt in Apple Bloom's face, which sent her coughing and sputtering. "Mine mine mine mine mine Party Ponies all mine but you little griffon turds
Storiesatrandom: "What? Griffin turds? Ok, I won't even attempt to make fun of that."
stole my PONIES!" She stomped her hooves at each rambling syllable. Eventually she ran out of breath and paused her ranting.
Pinkie Pie: "I have to be sure to listen to Zecora should I actually face these bad flowers."
Others: "PLEASE DO!"
"So me and the new pony friends who are in my head made up this game,
Storiesatrandom: "HAHA! YOU ADMIT THEY WERE FAKE, FAKER!"
which is possibly the most funnest game ever made up, called Too Much, Too Little, or Just Right.
Storiesatrandom: "Sounds more like a rejected nursery rhyme."
Doesn't it sound great?" she asked, bobbing her head in a way that let her captives know that they should bob their heads too, which they did.
Pinkie Pie: "I DIDN'T SAY SIMON SAYS!"
"Okay, here's how you play. It's all about the blue frosting.
Storiesatrandom: "TITLE DROP!"
Since you love it so much you are all going to die for it." Her face took on an evil grimace.
Storiesatrandom: "Which was a rejected and alternate version of the McDonald's character."
"One of you will get too much of my delicious blue frosting,
Storiesatrandom: "TITLE DROP!"
one of you will get too little, and one of you will get an amount that's just right. And I've, I mean we've, got it all figured it out.
"Your horrible death," she pointed a hoof at Sweetie Bell, "will be caused by too much frosting, because you have a sister who has a cat, and a cat sees very well in the dark. Now 'sees' rhymes with 'keys'..."
Storiesatrandom: "But it's off by a few words!"
In the background Apple Bloom made the crazy motion with her hoof, and Sweetie Belle gave a barely perceptible nod.
Storiesatrandom: "COCO! COCO! COCO!"
"and keys go in locks, and Sweetie Belle's sister has locks of beautiful purple hair.
Pinkie Pie: "But no keys to revel her beautiful bald spot!"
So all the ponies in my head, except the brown one who couldn't take even a second away from her math homework ..."
Twilight: "Pinkie, you're off your rocker."
Pinkie stopped, swatted an imaginary fly overhead,
Storiesatrandom: "I think the cast of Foster's home for imaginary friends will no doubt hate this fic for this part alone, aside from the other disgusting things about it!"
and continued. "voted, and everypony agreed that you would get too much frosting." Pinkie gave herpony a very self-satisfied, I-am-a-smart-pony smile.
Twilight: "That is not deserving of her."
"That means that the pony that kicked me in the head," she motioned toward Scootaloo, "will get too little. In fact, she won't get any at all. I asked all of the Ponies in my head, even the ones living in the apple pastries, and none of them like her."
Pinkie Pie: "Nor did the pots and pans Scoot here knocked earlier for being a loony mcloony pants!"
'Too little' was Scootaloo's dangerous predicament at the moment. The pegasus pony was in excruciating pain, with tears at the corner of her blood-shot eyes. Little Scootaloo was the first to become hooked on the blue stuff at the "good grades parties", and always ate twice as many cupcakes and got twice as stoned as the other fillies. Tonight she had made an absolute pig of herpony,
Storiesatrandom: "What is with the "Herpony" word anyway? Is that another pony word that isn't canon but trying to get known in fanon word with no traceable place of origin thing?"
and later snuck back into the kitchen and eaten all the leftover cupcakes, and devoured the leftover frosting. Tonight she had eaten almost three times as much frosting as the other fillies.
Storiesatrandom: "Rainbow Dash is disappointed in you, Scooty."
As a result she was crashing hard. Really hard. Every cell in Scootaloo's body was screaming for more blue.
Storiesatrandom: "It got tired being orange, and wanted to be just like Rainbow dash! I post an image as a joke, but this fic does not deserve it."
Her body remembered drowning in an ocean of ecstasy,
Twilight: "Where it is nothing but continuous sex."
and it wanted that feeling again more than anything else. She was trembling and twitching, and the light from the cellar door revealed she was covered in sweat, as well as huge bruises.
Storiesatrandom: "Wow, Pinkie can punch hard."
Pinkie smiled a crooked grimace at Apple Bloom,
Storiesatrandom: "Which is another alternate character idea for said McDonald's character!"
cowering beneath her. "And you are going to get an amount that's just right, because your red bow looks like a party ribbon. But you'll get your prize, which will be the most painful of all, after I take care of the other two."
All: "….."
Pinkie motioned to a dusty couch in the corner. "Now be a good little filly and wait over there for me." Apple Bloom just sat there, in shock over the whole situation.
Twilight: "Pinkie, Did you just forgot that she's chained?"
Pinkie pulled out a trumpet and played "WOMP WOMP WOMP!"
"I said move!" and Pinkie kicked her bad leg. The wounded pony screamed, causing the other two prisoners to wince sympathetically. Apple Bloom, sobbing, started dragging herpony and the chain in the direction of the couch.
Twilight: "Wow, you mean she actually could've escaped and get help the entire time and the chain wouldn't do anything?"
Storiesatrandom: "YOU'RE TELLING ME TO BELIEVE THAT! THIS IS STUPID! STUPID, STUPID, (started to fast forward in a manner similar to the Nostalgia critic for a while)
Pinkie and Twilight stepped away from Storiesatrandom till he stopped.
Storiesatrandom: "(finally stopping, sobs for a bit)"
Twilight: "Wow. Just, wow. Ordinarily, you have a stronger tolerance to extreme stupidity."
Storiesatrandom: "Yeah, but this is like, the tumor of stupidity!"
Inside Storiesatrandom brain:
A peter shaped Tumor: "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor
Oh, Oh, Oh I'm a tumor"
"Now for Little Miss Too Much." Pinkie picked up the basket and walked over to Sweetie Belle. Reaching into the basket, she pulled out a large, bulging pastry bag and hung it on the pole over Pinkie's head. A tube dropped from the bag and twirled around her ankles.
Storiesatrandom: "It was really a snake!"
"I have to admit, I wanted Sweetie Belle to win this game, so I came up with a way for her to cheat." She picked up the tube and waved the end under her victim's nose. "What's that smell like?"
Sweetie Belle's weary face lightened. "Frosting. It smells like frosting."
Twilight (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "And maybe a touch of rubber."
"That's right! I needed a way to make sure you could eat more frosting than anybody else, but this dainty little mouth of yours," Pinkie squeezed Sweetie Belle's mouth into a perfect O, "couldn't eat nearly enough of my precious cupcakes fast enough.
Storiesatrandom: "Why not instead make them smaller?"
So all the lime-colored ponies in my head came up with a positively splendid idea."
Storiesatrandom: "COCO! COCO! COCO!"
With that, Pinkie spun her around and smashed the strengthless filly against the pole. From her vantage spot across the cellar, Apple Bloom stared in disbelief as Pinkie spit once, then twice onto her hoof and jammed it between Sweetie Belle's cheeks, making her asshole slick with saliva.
All: "…"
Storiesatrandom: "Let's agree to skip this one."
Sweetie Belle cried out in pain, surprise, and fear.
Storiesatrandom: "How the hell anyone can be all three at once?"
Apple Bloom watched with amazement and disgust as Pinkie reached down,
Storiesatrandom: "Oh for god's sake, pick an emotion! You can't be both!"
grabbed the end of the tube with her teeth and shoved it and her muzzle in the crack of Sweetie Belle's ass. Sweetie squealed and kicked as the tube searched for and penetrated her anus.
Storiesatrandom: "Now Sweetie Belle knows what the cows in the breeding facilities are going through."
The dusty white filly froze as her sodomizer forced inch after inch of tubing through her bowels into her large intestine. Pinkie stood up and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
Storiesatrandom: "Since when the hell is Pinkie Pie a bird?"
"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Twilight: "Tell that to Sweetie Belle."
Storiesatrandom: "And the cows from the breeding facility."
Pinkie took a strip of cloth and tied the tube against Sweetie Belle's leg. "That's to make sure it doesn't slip out. Now, get ready for this."
"Pinkie, don't," croaked Scootaloo
Storiesatrandom: "Looks like Scootaloo went from chicken to frog in that amount of time folks."
"Don't do this."
Their torturer ignored her.
Storiesatrandom: "Gorefic tradition much?"
She grabbed the bag and gave it gave it a squeeze. A couple of seconds later Sweetie Belle's eyes got very wide. "Oh!" she exclaimed.
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "So that's what straight sex feels like!"
"What is it Sweetie?" asked Scootloo.
"Yes, dearie, tell her how you're going to win the game."
"I don't know. It feels kinda like when you eat a cupcake, but better."
Twilight (mimicking Sweetie Belle): "Admittedly though, I could've gone without the anal probing."
Pinkie gave another squeeze, and Sweetie Belle's eyes fluttered and her body gave a little shudder. "Wow. That feels like eating a whole lot of cupcakes all at once." As if in confirmation her eyes took on that glassy look of somepony who's had too much blue.
Storiesatrandom: "I'm blue, dabba di dabbi dye, dabba di dabba dye, dabba di dabba dye, dabba di dabba dye, dauble di dabba dye."
"Yes, I think that is working quite nicely. We'll just leave you and your little bag of blue happiness for a while."
All: "Is it over?"
Pinkie grabbed the basket in her teeth, pushed the cellar door open and left, without leaving anything for the other two ponies.
End of Part 1
All: "HALLIUYA!"
Storiesatrandom: "So… We're all in agreement."
Pinkie: "Yep."
Twilight: "Yes."
Storiesatrandom: 'After me…"
All: "THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST FIC EVER!'
Storiesatrandom: "So bad Twilight and Pinkie refused to give a second opinion. So, my second opinion is what it's gonna get. It's bad. It's god awful bad! It deserves the well placed insult of being the love child of SAM and CUPCAKES! In fact, so awful, I am not even sure if I'll be able to continue this shit, because it's gonna get worse from here! This is, without a doubt, the craziest, grossest, stupidest, and just plain wrong fic the mods ever allowed into this site! I admit I wrote my fair share of questionable fics, but this, this! It's just, GEYAHHHH! It's disgusting! Drugs, child abuse, and Cupcakes rip-offs in one fic was too much man, TOO MUCH! In fact, it deserves its bad ratings, and I won't be surprised if it because the most hated fic, since SAM! I am Storiesatrandom, and they were Pinkie Pie and Twilight, we remember it so you don't have too! And I strongly advise you avoid that, fic! It's so awful, it's like, the Garbage pail kids movie of fanfics! Yeah, I went there, this fic is up there with that EVEN worse movie! (Long silence)….. Ok, for real this time. I'm Storiesatrandom, and they are Pinkie Pie and Twilight, we remember it so you don't have to."