FP Riffs 12: The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis
I know, this has been done before by my pals over at the TWE. Well, you know what? I’ve had this on my queue since RatherHomely took his family-related hiatus, long before the TWE was even a THING, so fuck them, I had dibs, and I’m doing it too.
Just kidding, guys. You know I still love you.
What am I talking about? Well, for those of you who can’t read titles, I’ve picked up the first story and alleged magnum opus by an individual who goes by the name of apple short. He is consistently one of the WORST AUTHORS EVER, and this story is ultimate proof of that. I still have not read it in full - I never even looked at the riff my coworkers did of it out of fear of unconsciously stealing their jokes - but what I’ve seen and heard, as well as what I’ve witnessed from the author’s other works, tell me that I am royally fucked.
So, without further ado... “The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis.”
Guys, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.
Just kidding, guys. You know I still love you.
What am I talking about? Well, for those of you who can’t read titles, I’ve picked up the first story and alleged magnum opus by an individual who goes by the name of apple short. He is consistently one of the WORST AUTHORS EVER, and this story is ultimate proof of that. I still have not read it in full - I never even looked at the riff my coworkers did of it out of fear of unconsciously stealing their jokes - but what I’ve seen and heard, as well as what I’ve witnessed from the author’s other works, tell me that I am royally fucked.
So, without further ado... “The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis.”
Guys, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.
Twilight Sparkle: And... done! Now you can do everything with your TV and video equipment that Pinkie Pie can do with hers, including making calls!
Fallen Prime: Thanks a ton, Twilight. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner. Did you also-
Twilight: Yes, I set it to make noise when it turns on so it doesn’t catch you off-guard.
Fallen: Sweet. And I know just how to test it out.
(Fallen pushes a few buttons, and Pinkie Pie appears on the TV screen.)
Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Ooh, somepony’s calling me! I can’t wait to- wait. Primey!?
Fallen: Yep. Your genius friend here rigged this baby to make calls.
Twilight: You don’t have to keep trying to flatter me.
Fallen: There’s a difference between flattery and speaking the truth. At any rate, Pinkie, I wanted to do something to celebrate this little upgrade.
Pinkie: You mean like a party? I LOVE parties!
Fallen: Yes, I’m well aware. Come over to the armory, and bring your friends.
Pinkie: You’ve got it! I’ll be right over!
(Pinkie rushes off, and her TV turns off with a blip.)
Twilight: Wow. The first thing you did with the new setup was to invite everypony over to celebrate? I didn’t think you were capable of being this nice.
Fallen: Hey, shut up! I can be nice when I want to! It just doesn’t happen that often. And I don’t think you’ll see it as nice in a little while.
Twilight: What do you mean by-
(Suddenly, the armory doors open, letting Pinkie and the rest of the crew inside.)
Pinkie: LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
Twilight: Seriously, your timing sometimes... hi, everypony!
Rainbow Dash: ‘Sup, Twilight? How did Fallen manage to talk to Pinkie to get us all over here?
Twilight: I helped a little with that, but I’m concerned about why he did it. I think he-
Fallen: Hey, Rarity! I haven’t seen you since... well, since the giant load of awful you starred in.
Rarity: It would be deceitful to say I haven’t missed this place a little. It feels odd to be here without a story to riff.
Applejack: We... ARE here without a story to riff, right? Somethin’ about this smells a mite fishy.
Rarity: Why doubt him?
Twilight: Because he’s not normally nice enough to invite us all over?
Fluttershy: He wasn’t able to before, though. How would you know that he didn’t want to for the longest time and just couldn’t?
Twilight: Because that sounds almost nothing like him.
Fallen: You’re right, it doesn’t sound like me. In fact...
(Fallen pushes a button, and the armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: ...I had a reason for bringing you here.
Rarity: You meant for us to meet you here so you could imprison us!?
Fallen: Basically. And I think you know what I want here.
Twilight: Oh no...
Fallen: Oh yeah. It’s another riff, and this time, I’M the one calling the shots!
Dash: What!? Pinkie, you can let us out, right? You have the remote for the doors!
Pinkie: I... left it back at home. Why would I need it if we were just going to have a party?
AJ: So we’re stuck here. And we’re stuck riffin’ another story.
Fallen: And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. I’ve been planning this for so long now, and I finally got off my lazy ass and set it in motion.
Fluttershy: W-what are you going to do?
Fallen: Simple. I’m going to subject you all to the terrible tale of a man named... pRince Martin Willis.
Pinkie: But that’s one of the worst stories ever!
Fallen: Why do you think I grabbed all of you to do it? I’m not an idiot; I KNOW I can’t do this alone. And I know that I probably can’t do it with just two of you. If I have to hurt, so does everyone else.
AJ: You’re outta yer mind, Fallen!
Fallen: How the hell is that news to you?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen Prime: Thanks a ton, Twilight. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner. Did you also-
Twilight: Yes, I set it to make noise when it turns on so it doesn’t catch you off-guard.
Fallen: Sweet. And I know just how to test it out.
(Fallen pushes a few buttons, and Pinkie Pie appears on the TV screen.)
Pinkie Pie: (from TV) Ooh, somepony’s calling me! I can’t wait to- wait. Primey!?
Fallen: Yep. Your genius friend here rigged this baby to make calls.
Twilight: You don’t have to keep trying to flatter me.
Fallen: There’s a difference between flattery and speaking the truth. At any rate, Pinkie, I wanted to do something to celebrate this little upgrade.
Pinkie: You mean like a party? I LOVE parties!
Fallen: Yes, I’m well aware. Come over to the armory, and bring your friends.
Pinkie: You’ve got it! I’ll be right over!
(Pinkie rushes off, and her TV turns off with a blip.)
Twilight: Wow. The first thing you did with the new setup was to invite everypony over to celebrate? I didn’t think you were capable of being this nice.
Fallen: Hey, shut up! I can be nice when I want to! It just doesn’t happen that often. And I don’t think you’ll see it as nice in a little while.
Twilight: What do you mean by-
(Suddenly, the armory doors open, letting Pinkie and the rest of the crew inside.)
Pinkie: LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!
Twilight: Seriously, your timing sometimes... hi, everypony!
Rainbow Dash: ‘Sup, Twilight? How did Fallen manage to talk to Pinkie to get us all over here?
Twilight: I helped a little with that, but I’m concerned about why he did it. I think he-
Fallen: Hey, Rarity! I haven’t seen you since... well, since the giant load of awful you starred in.
Rarity: It would be deceitful to say I haven’t missed this place a little. It feels odd to be here without a story to riff.
Applejack: We... ARE here without a story to riff, right? Somethin’ about this smells a mite fishy.
Rarity: Why doubt him?
Twilight: Because he’s not normally nice enough to invite us all over?
Fluttershy: He wasn’t able to before, though. How would you know that he didn’t want to for the longest time and just couldn’t?
Twilight: Because that sounds almost nothing like him.
Fallen: You’re right, it doesn’t sound like me. In fact...
(Fallen pushes a button, and the armory doors slam shut and lock.)
Fallen: ...I had a reason for bringing you here.
Rarity: You meant for us to meet you here so you could imprison us!?
Fallen: Basically. And I think you know what I want here.
Twilight: Oh no...
Fallen: Oh yeah. It’s another riff, and this time, I’M the one calling the shots!
Dash: What!? Pinkie, you can let us out, right? You have the remote for the doors!
Pinkie: I... left it back at home. Why would I need it if we were just going to have a party?
AJ: So we’re stuck here. And we’re stuck riffin’ another story.
Fallen: And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. I’ve been planning this for so long now, and I finally got off my lazy ass and set it in motion.
Fluttershy: W-what are you going to do?
Fallen: Simple. I’m going to subject you all to the terrible tale of a man named... pRince Martin Willis.
Pinkie: But that’s one of the worst stories ever!
Fallen: Why do you think I grabbed all of you to do it? I’m not an idiot; I KNOW I can’t do this alone. And I know that I probably can’t do it with just two of you. If I have to hurt, so does everyone else.
AJ: You’re outta yer mind, Fallen!
Fallen: How the hell is that news to you?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Martin Willis fell from earth into ponyvile by acidentlee walking into a portle meant only for ponees to get into our world so they can pretend to be non speakers and watch us secretly.
Twilight: I... I...
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, her nose is bleeding!
Fallen: Jesus. The first sentence, and she already had an aneurysm. Oh, and get used to seeing “portle.”
Dash: Is it that common?
Fallen: You have no idea. And Twi, you’ll want to do this riff with a wad of tissues in each nostril, because it only gets worse.
Twilight: ...thanks for the warning.
He accidentlee waled in it when they didnt know that he was there was to fall in and invade .
AJ: What’s it even tryin’ to say?
Pinkie: Everything. But at the same time... nothing.
Hey twilight. He yelled happily at the sexy purple mare who walked by him.
Twilight: ...sexy?
Rarity: Oh dear...
Twilight: SEXY!?
Fallen: Oh god. Twilight, just calm-
Twilight: THE HUMAN CALLED ME SEXY!?
Fluttershy: I’m scared of her right now...
Twilight: You can’t DO that, story! Interspecies relationships are just... UGH!
Fallen: What about Spike’s crush on-
Twilight: You stay out of this!
Oh hello I didn’t see you whats your name she imersoned him and leaned on his side. my name is martin willis i am orange with blue stripes
Dash: He’s... telling her what he looks like.
AJ: Eeyup.
Dash: Even though she can see him.
Rarity: Indeed.
Dash: And he probably hasn’t even seen HIMSELF yet.
Pinkie: Yep!
Dash: This is gonna HURT.
Fallen: Like a mofo.
and my cutie mark is the gun from PORTAL. (cause ifell in a portle and I am good at that game)
Rarity: He spelled “portal” correctly... then misspelled it again immediately.
Fallen: Such is the logic of Martin Willis. Also, Portal deserves much better than this.
That is awesome she asked neatly would you like to go hang at my house with my owl?
Twilight: What!? I just met him!
Fallen: This is true. And anyone who wants to add that this is crazy gets a rusty sawblade to the jugular.
I nodded excrushiatinly
Fluttershy: I’m not sure he knows what “excruciatingly” means.
Pinkie: No, silly, he said “excrushiatinly!” Totally different!
and she opened the way for us to her house.
When we got there her pet spike was off
Twilight: Did it... just call Spike my pet?
Dash: Here we go again...
Twilight: SPIKE! IS NOT! MY PET! He’s my friend and my assistant! At most, he’s like a little brother to me! BUT HE IS NOT MY PET!
Fallen: Wow, this story’s REALLY not kind to you.
(probly at raritys getting sleep) and she said in a ponder I wonder where my owl went?
AJ: What’s Owlowiscious got to do with anythin’ goin’ on?
Rarity: I suspect nothing.
I rubbed her belly casue she let me do that now
Fluttershy: You mean like a pet? But isn’t Martin a pony now too? How is that supposed to work? How is that acceptable?
and I said he probly went over to raritys so that they could betogether because he loves her and they should be married.
Fallen: How does this fuckshit not know he’s not supposed to tell the ponies that he knows everything about them?
She opened her eyes and looked at me. wow you sure now a lot martin are you sure you never meant spike or rarity before.
Pinkie: How can you even mean somepony?
No I teased happily only ive never fallen into a portle like that one in my life but I now about ponies because I love the show.
Fallen: This, my equine companions, is why I despise brony-in-Equestria stories. They know about the show, and as such, their interactions have basis in what they already know about those they interact with. It’s impossible to hide forever, and it’s creepy as hell when it finally comes out. And that’s assuming the brony tries to hide it in the first place...
Rarity: And heaven forbid the rest of us get a word in edgewise...
She questioned me annoyed and suspicious what show.
Fallen: Hey, I still never made you watch-
Twilight: And we’re keeping it that way.
I laughed and kissed her cheek its ok twilight I love you and would never do anything bad like other humans maybe.
AJ: Are the other stories like this that bad?
Fallen: What, you mean in the respect of the bronies shitting on the canon cast? Always.
Ok she said believed. Then she lifted her hooves and put my hand on her deep belly ilike it when you kiss me here she said in sexy voice.
Fluttershy: These two really don’t have any chemistry.
Twilight: They... we, I guess... go together as well as water and oil.
So I brought down my knees and kissed her lower belly and she looked contented so I moved a hand lower and touched her but you are hot I said
Dash: Wait, so... is he touching her flank and saying “You are hot,” or is he just generally touching her and saying “But you are hot?”
Pinkie: Definitely!
even hotter than I though before I fell in the hole here.
Rarity: He was attracted to Twilight... even before he was taken to Equestria?
Fallen: Every fandom has its sick fucks. Sonic and Pokémon fans have it just as bad.
She naughtily giggled and pushing my hand
Fallen: Ponies have hands now. Willis said so.
to her place parts
AJ: Ah can’t even.
said you can fall in this hole.
Fallen: No way in hell she’s that loose and gaping that much.
What the fuck twilight. I made a mock shocked look and tried to tongue ksis her and she let me.
Twilight: This is just revolting in more ways than all of them.
She was pissed secretly still att my swearing and she exploded. What the fuck do you mean what the fuck martin.
Fallen: “What the fuck do YOU mean, ‘what the fuck, Martin?’”
I wimpered so that she could see I was only joking and then I put my horse weenie in hers
Fallen: I haven’t seen erotic fanfiction this thrilling since “My Immortal.”
Rarity: Is it... implying that they both have penises?
Fallen: It’s adorable that you think questioning it solves anything.
and we made love and she forgave me.
Rarity: I never thought a story would give me the urge to stab its author in the face...
Fallen: Not even RGP?
Rarity: Oh, I have far worse plans for that author...
Spike came home and saw us in bed kissing and licking each other while sleeping.
Pinkie: Wow! I didn’t know sleep sex was a thing! At least not when they’re both asleep.
You slut puppet.
Fallen: ...did he call her a blow-up doll?
He threw a dress he had got from rarity for her and a suit he had got from rarity for me onto the ground
Fallen: He’s not a part of your system!
and came and smaked twilights head.
AJ: Now why’d he go and do that?
Pinkie: Because she’s in bed with a Gary Stu! Why else?
What the fuck spike. I was really angry and pushed him away from her to fall on his but. We love each other and she is not a slut
Fluttershy: Um... I don’t want to be mean, but... she did hook up with Martin the second he arrived...
this is natural even though I fell from earth into here from a portle because she loves me.
Rarity: He was summoned to Equestria... by the power of love.
Fallen: It’s a terrible thing when a bad story makes me hesitate to say “fuck everything.” Especially when it does it like THIS.
Dash: I don’t really see how anything about that is natural.
I don’t care I loved her first
Twilight: Spike... with a romantic interest in me!?
Fallen: Don’t even start, Twilight.
and you go fucking die and slit your wrists or hang yourself like a bitch
Dash: Okay, WHOA. Spike needs to seriously chill out.
he screamed as loud as he could and he grabbed at my foot to go and swirl me in the toilet.
Fluttershy: That’s not fun to go through...
Fallen: Oh wow. Were your bullying problems THAT bad?
I will tteach you to fuck my bestfriend fucker he brethed fire and I wanted to cry but hit his head instead.
Pinkie: I have no idea what I’d do if it came down to choosing between crying or hitting somepony in the head. Maybe I’d just pull out the party cannon!
Twilight: Okay, but what if there was no possibility of a third option?
Fallen: It’s Pinkie. She’d FIND a third option.
Fucking go asshole she loves me. just then twilight used magic and shut him outside loking the door and window
Fallen: I... THINK that’s an obligatory Loki cameo? How can that even count as obligatory...
and said don’t come back spike I love him and you are being an asshole.
Fluttershy: Why is Twilight using this kind of language?
Rarity: To quote Fallen, because of the reason.
Fallen: We’re resorting to the reason already?
He realized how bad he was and cried I didnt mean to make you mad I just loved you first and it scares me you let a human love you.
AJ: Ah’m with ya there, Spike.
Don’t be gay spike she gave him a dirty look throwing him back in.
Fluttershy: What does any of this have to do with sexual preference?
just because he is human which he isn’t here because he turned into a pony like all humans when they go to aquestrea doesn’t mean I cant have sex with him
Twilight: Actually, that’s EXACTLY what it means!
he has a massive dick.
Fallen: Seriously, fuck this guy in the eye socket.
Spike sighed relenting and sniffled I understand twilight.
Fallen: That makes one of us. I don’t get how something like that can get so popular.
Twilight: Okay, seriously, what is this series that’s apparently named after me?
Fallen: The bane of humanity’s existence. That’s all you need to know.
Just then an idea hit me and I grabbed spike and placed him on my nee.
Fallen: Suddenly, Martin Willis is Santa Claus.
Pinkie: Ooh, ooh! Tell him I want a new cookie cutter!
We can both make love to her spike cause she will let us I said.
Rarity: It’s rather callous of you to assume such a thing of her.
He smiled openly and looked at her and she nodded. So getting up we all had sex and I rubbed twilights boobs
Fluttershy: Does he mean... the teats?
Fallen: He must, unless Twilight was anthropomorphized or humanized in the last five seconds.
Twilight: ...no, neither happened. I’m still a pony.
Fallen: And don’t you ever forget it. And speaking of forgetting things, you did notice Spike’s in the sex scene, right?
Twilight: WHAT!?
and spike let me so we all had fun.
Dash: Speak for yourselves.
When we woke up after sleeping for the day spike said he was sorry again and after kissing him twilight agreed with me that he was fine
Fallen: In this context, that can only either mean good-looking or good in bed. And neither should reasonably come out of Twilight’s mouth.
and we would let him be with us sometimes but mainly no because she really loved me and only was with him because he was so upset.
Pinkie: Ohhhhhh! So it was pity sex!
Ok he smiled.
Twilight: That really needed its own paragraph.
I leaned in and whispered in his ear that if he wanted I would hel him get with rarity to have sex
Rarity: Wait. Is Spike attracted to me or to Twilight? The narrative is far too conflicted!
but only if he agreed that I could help. He did and we decided to later.
AJ: Is this gonna pay off at all?
Dash: No idea, but I really hope not.
This is my first story so please be nice I am only 15
Pinkie: Sudden author’s note! YAY!
Fallen: If you saw my essays at fifteen, they’d put this shit to SHAME. Plus, FelixDawn is just as bad at twenty-one, as is my understanding, so age is not an excuse.
an my friend edited this for me using his computer so I now there shouldnt be any bad spelling or stuff,
AJ: Two things wrong there. One, ah don’t think anyone editin’ this would have let it still exist, so he’s gotta be strikin’ out on his own.
Pinkie: Is the other thing about the spelling still being really bad?
AJ: Just about.
except maybe the name of aquestrea because he said he couldnt find it in the correcter.
Fluttershy: But isn’t it very easy for you to look up without a spell check program?
Fallen: Extremely.
Rarity: This author’s note seems to be made entirely of weak justifications and invalid excuses.
i am really sensitive and not so good at English so please no angry comments because last time I posted a story somewhere they yelled angrily
Fallen: (laughing maniacally)
Dash: I think that translates to “WAY too late, pal.”
so please don’t yell at me but just tell me whats wrong and I will fix it to be better.
Twilight: (nosebleed speeds up) Alright then! I wrote a novel-length essay about every flaw, error, plot hole, nitpick and general annoyance I could find! Take your end of the deal and FIX THEM!!!
Hope you like it all it was my first time writing sex too and I think it turned out good.
All: NO!
Next chapter will be rarity and me and spike. Later and luv
Twilight: No, no “luv.” NEVER “luv.”
Fallen: Um... you’re practically GUSHING blood. We should probably stop before you-
Twilight: (faints from blood loss)
Fallen: Oh god. We’re stopping, and we’re stopping NOW.
Twilight: I... I...
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness, her nose is bleeding!
Fallen: Jesus. The first sentence, and she already had an aneurysm. Oh, and get used to seeing “portle.”
Dash: Is it that common?
Fallen: You have no idea. And Twi, you’ll want to do this riff with a wad of tissues in each nostril, because it only gets worse.
Twilight: ...thanks for the warning.
He accidentlee waled in it when they didnt know that he was there was to fall in and invade .
AJ: What’s it even tryin’ to say?
Pinkie: Everything. But at the same time... nothing.
Hey twilight. He yelled happily at the sexy purple mare who walked by him.
Twilight: ...sexy?
Rarity: Oh dear...
Twilight: SEXY!?
Fallen: Oh god. Twilight, just calm-
Twilight: THE HUMAN CALLED ME SEXY!?
Fluttershy: I’m scared of her right now...
Twilight: You can’t DO that, story! Interspecies relationships are just... UGH!
Fallen: What about Spike’s crush on-
Twilight: You stay out of this!
Oh hello I didn’t see you whats your name she imersoned him and leaned on his side. my name is martin willis i am orange with blue stripes
Dash: He’s... telling her what he looks like.
AJ: Eeyup.
Dash: Even though she can see him.
Rarity: Indeed.
Dash: And he probably hasn’t even seen HIMSELF yet.
Pinkie: Yep!
Dash: This is gonna HURT.
Fallen: Like a mofo.
and my cutie mark is the gun from PORTAL. (cause ifell in a portle and I am good at that game)
Rarity: He spelled “portal” correctly... then misspelled it again immediately.
Fallen: Such is the logic of Martin Willis. Also, Portal deserves much better than this.
That is awesome she asked neatly would you like to go hang at my house with my owl?
Twilight: What!? I just met him!
Fallen: This is true. And anyone who wants to add that this is crazy gets a rusty sawblade to the jugular.
I nodded excrushiatinly
Fluttershy: I’m not sure he knows what “excruciatingly” means.
Pinkie: No, silly, he said “excrushiatinly!” Totally different!
and she opened the way for us to her house.
When we got there her pet spike was off
Twilight: Did it... just call Spike my pet?
Dash: Here we go again...
Twilight: SPIKE! IS NOT! MY PET! He’s my friend and my assistant! At most, he’s like a little brother to me! BUT HE IS NOT MY PET!
Fallen: Wow, this story’s REALLY not kind to you.
(probly at raritys getting sleep) and she said in a ponder I wonder where my owl went?
AJ: What’s Owlowiscious got to do with anythin’ goin’ on?
Rarity: I suspect nothing.
I rubbed her belly casue she let me do that now
Fluttershy: You mean like a pet? But isn’t Martin a pony now too? How is that supposed to work? How is that acceptable?
and I said he probly went over to raritys so that they could betogether because he loves her and they should be married.
Fallen: How does this fuckshit not know he’s not supposed to tell the ponies that he knows everything about them?
She opened her eyes and looked at me. wow you sure now a lot martin are you sure you never meant spike or rarity before.
Pinkie: How can you even mean somepony?
No I teased happily only ive never fallen into a portle like that one in my life but I now about ponies because I love the show.
Fallen: This, my equine companions, is why I despise brony-in-Equestria stories. They know about the show, and as such, their interactions have basis in what they already know about those they interact with. It’s impossible to hide forever, and it’s creepy as hell when it finally comes out. And that’s assuming the brony tries to hide it in the first place...
Rarity: And heaven forbid the rest of us get a word in edgewise...
She questioned me annoyed and suspicious what show.
Fallen: Hey, I still never made you watch-
Twilight: And we’re keeping it that way.
I laughed and kissed her cheek its ok twilight I love you and would never do anything bad like other humans maybe.
AJ: Are the other stories like this that bad?
Fallen: What, you mean in the respect of the bronies shitting on the canon cast? Always.
Ok she said believed. Then she lifted her hooves and put my hand on her deep belly ilike it when you kiss me here she said in sexy voice.
Fluttershy: These two really don’t have any chemistry.
Twilight: They... we, I guess... go together as well as water and oil.
So I brought down my knees and kissed her lower belly and she looked contented so I moved a hand lower and touched her but you are hot I said
Dash: Wait, so... is he touching her flank and saying “You are hot,” or is he just generally touching her and saying “But you are hot?”
Pinkie: Definitely!
even hotter than I though before I fell in the hole here.
Rarity: He was attracted to Twilight... even before he was taken to Equestria?
Fallen: Every fandom has its sick fucks. Sonic and Pokémon fans have it just as bad.
She naughtily giggled and pushing my hand
Fallen: Ponies have hands now. Willis said so.
to her place parts
AJ: Ah can’t even.
said you can fall in this hole.
Fallen: No way in hell she’s that loose and gaping that much.
What the fuck twilight. I made a mock shocked look and tried to tongue ksis her and she let me.
Twilight: This is just revolting in more ways than all of them.
She was pissed secretly still att my swearing and she exploded. What the fuck do you mean what the fuck martin.
Fallen: “What the fuck do YOU mean, ‘what the fuck, Martin?’”
I wimpered so that she could see I was only joking and then I put my horse weenie in hers
Fallen: I haven’t seen erotic fanfiction this thrilling since “My Immortal.”
Rarity: Is it... implying that they both have penises?
Fallen: It’s adorable that you think questioning it solves anything.
and we made love and she forgave me.
Rarity: I never thought a story would give me the urge to stab its author in the face...
Fallen: Not even RGP?
Rarity: Oh, I have far worse plans for that author...
Spike came home and saw us in bed kissing and licking each other while sleeping.
Pinkie: Wow! I didn’t know sleep sex was a thing! At least not when they’re both asleep.
You slut puppet.
Fallen: ...did he call her a blow-up doll?
He threw a dress he had got from rarity for her and a suit he had got from rarity for me onto the ground
Fallen: He’s not a part of your system!
and came and smaked twilights head.
AJ: Now why’d he go and do that?
Pinkie: Because she’s in bed with a Gary Stu! Why else?
What the fuck spike. I was really angry and pushed him away from her to fall on his but. We love each other and she is not a slut
Fluttershy: Um... I don’t want to be mean, but... she did hook up with Martin the second he arrived...
this is natural even though I fell from earth into here from a portle because she loves me.
Rarity: He was summoned to Equestria... by the power of love.
Fallen: It’s a terrible thing when a bad story makes me hesitate to say “fuck everything.” Especially when it does it like THIS.
Dash: I don’t really see how anything about that is natural.
I don’t care I loved her first
Twilight: Spike... with a romantic interest in me!?
Fallen: Don’t even start, Twilight.
and you go fucking die and slit your wrists or hang yourself like a bitch
Dash: Okay, WHOA. Spike needs to seriously chill out.
he screamed as loud as he could and he grabbed at my foot to go and swirl me in the toilet.
Fluttershy: That’s not fun to go through...
Fallen: Oh wow. Were your bullying problems THAT bad?
I will tteach you to fuck my bestfriend fucker he brethed fire and I wanted to cry but hit his head instead.
Pinkie: I have no idea what I’d do if it came down to choosing between crying or hitting somepony in the head. Maybe I’d just pull out the party cannon!
Twilight: Okay, but what if there was no possibility of a third option?
Fallen: It’s Pinkie. She’d FIND a third option.
Fucking go asshole she loves me. just then twilight used magic and shut him outside loking the door and window
Fallen: I... THINK that’s an obligatory Loki cameo? How can that even count as obligatory...
and said don’t come back spike I love him and you are being an asshole.
Fluttershy: Why is Twilight using this kind of language?
Rarity: To quote Fallen, because of the reason.
Fallen: We’re resorting to the reason already?
He realized how bad he was and cried I didnt mean to make you mad I just loved you first and it scares me you let a human love you.
AJ: Ah’m with ya there, Spike.
Don’t be gay spike she gave him a dirty look throwing him back in.
Fluttershy: What does any of this have to do with sexual preference?
just because he is human which he isn’t here because he turned into a pony like all humans when they go to aquestrea doesn’t mean I cant have sex with him
Twilight: Actually, that’s EXACTLY what it means!
he has a massive dick.
Fallen: Seriously, fuck this guy in the eye socket.
Spike sighed relenting and sniffled I understand twilight.
Fallen: That makes one of us. I don’t get how something like that can get so popular.
Twilight: Okay, seriously, what is this series that’s apparently named after me?
Fallen: The bane of humanity’s existence. That’s all you need to know.
Just then an idea hit me and I grabbed spike and placed him on my nee.
Fallen: Suddenly, Martin Willis is Santa Claus.
Pinkie: Ooh, ooh! Tell him I want a new cookie cutter!
We can both make love to her spike cause she will let us I said.
Rarity: It’s rather callous of you to assume such a thing of her.
He smiled openly and looked at her and she nodded. So getting up we all had sex and I rubbed twilights boobs
Fluttershy: Does he mean... the teats?
Fallen: He must, unless Twilight was anthropomorphized or humanized in the last five seconds.
Twilight: ...no, neither happened. I’m still a pony.
Fallen: And don’t you ever forget it. And speaking of forgetting things, you did notice Spike’s in the sex scene, right?
Twilight: WHAT!?
and spike let me so we all had fun.
Dash: Speak for yourselves.
When we woke up after sleeping for the day spike said he was sorry again and after kissing him twilight agreed with me that he was fine
Fallen: In this context, that can only either mean good-looking or good in bed. And neither should reasonably come out of Twilight’s mouth.
and we would let him be with us sometimes but mainly no because she really loved me and only was with him because he was so upset.
Pinkie: Ohhhhhh! So it was pity sex!
Ok he smiled.
Twilight: That really needed its own paragraph.
I leaned in and whispered in his ear that if he wanted I would hel him get with rarity to have sex
Rarity: Wait. Is Spike attracted to me or to Twilight? The narrative is far too conflicted!
but only if he agreed that I could help. He did and we decided to later.
AJ: Is this gonna pay off at all?
Dash: No idea, but I really hope not.
This is my first story so please be nice I am only 15
Pinkie: Sudden author’s note! YAY!
Fallen: If you saw my essays at fifteen, they’d put this shit to SHAME. Plus, FelixDawn is just as bad at twenty-one, as is my understanding, so age is not an excuse.
an my friend edited this for me using his computer so I now there shouldnt be any bad spelling or stuff,
AJ: Two things wrong there. One, ah don’t think anyone editin’ this would have let it still exist, so he’s gotta be strikin’ out on his own.
Pinkie: Is the other thing about the spelling still being really bad?
AJ: Just about.
except maybe the name of aquestrea because he said he couldnt find it in the correcter.
Fluttershy: But isn’t it very easy for you to look up without a spell check program?
Fallen: Extremely.
Rarity: This author’s note seems to be made entirely of weak justifications and invalid excuses.
i am really sensitive and not so good at English so please no angry comments because last time I posted a story somewhere they yelled angrily
Fallen: (laughing maniacally)
Dash: I think that translates to “WAY too late, pal.”
so please don’t yell at me but just tell me whats wrong and I will fix it to be better.
Twilight: (nosebleed speeds up) Alright then! I wrote a novel-length essay about every flaw, error, plot hole, nitpick and general annoyance I could find! Take your end of the deal and FIX THEM!!!
Hope you like it all it was my first time writing sex too and I think it turned out good.
All: NO!
Next chapter will be rarity and me and spike. Later and luv
Twilight: No, no “luv.” NEVER “luv.”
Fallen: Um... you’re practically GUSHING blood. We should probably stop before you-
Twilight: (faints from blood loss)
Fallen: Oh god. We’re stopping, and we’re stopping NOW.
Fluttershy: Twilight! Are you okay?
Dash: She’s unconscious, Fluttershy. She can’t hear you.
Fallen: This is really bad. Only one chapter in, and she’s already out cold.
AJ: Why? How long’s the story?
Fallen: ...seven chapters.
Pinkie: She’s... she’s gonna be okay, right?
Rarity: I believe it depends on how much blood was lost.
Dash: Fallen, if she dies on us in this armory, it’s gonna be on you.
Fallen: You don’t know she’s actually going to-
Dash: And I promise you, if that happens, I will find everything and everyone you’ve ever loved, I will make them all suffer, and I will make you watch!
Fallen: Oh god. Uh...
Pinkie: Hey, she’s moving!
Dash: You have no idea how lucky you are.
Twilight: Ugh... I feel so light-headed...
Fallen: Your aneurysm went nuclear. You passed out for a while there. I have no idea how blood loss recovery works with ponies, but you may want to lay low for a little while.
Twilight: That’s the best idea you’ve ever had. We’re already taking a break, right?
AJ: Eeyup. And we’ve got you to thank for that, on account of you passin’ out on us.
Twilight: Well... that doesn’t usually happen to me a bunch of times in a row. I think having the one means I’m set for the rest of the story.
Fallen: I hope so, because there are six more chapters.
Twilight: WHAT!? Oh, ow, my head...
Fluttershy: Please try not to yell or stress yourself out. It’s not going to help you.
Fallen: Look, Twilight, I’m sorry about doing that to you through the story. I don’t think I’d have set this up if I knew I was going to be putting lives at risk.
Twilight: What are you talking about? A nosebleed isn’t all that bad.
Rarity: Twilight, darling, you were out cold because of the amount of blood you lost. I count that as a risk.
Twilight: ...point. At any rate, Fallen, I accept your apology. You’re probably not going to stop the riff on my account, are you?
Fallen: You said you think you’ll be fine, and it looks like you’re right so far, so there’s really no reason for it. Besides, this is one of the worst things to exist in the history of worst things to exist, and I can’t just stop getting you guys to obliterate it after only one chapter.
AJ: Well, ya COULD.
Fallen: But I won’t. This story needs to be taken down several notches, needs to be destroyed and unmade in every way we know how.
Pinkie: Wow, you’re really set on this! I’ve taught you well!
Fallen: I learn well by observation. Twilight, you ready to go again?
Twilight: I don’t know... I’m still really dizzy. I might end up starting to like it.
Fallen: I’ll be here to smack the stupid out of you if that happens.
Twilight: Thanks...?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Dash: She’s unconscious, Fluttershy. She can’t hear you.
Fallen: This is really bad. Only one chapter in, and she’s already out cold.
AJ: Why? How long’s the story?
Fallen: ...seven chapters.
Pinkie: She’s... she’s gonna be okay, right?
Rarity: I believe it depends on how much blood was lost.
Dash: Fallen, if she dies on us in this armory, it’s gonna be on you.
Fallen: You don’t know she’s actually going to-
Dash: And I promise you, if that happens, I will find everything and everyone you’ve ever loved, I will make them all suffer, and I will make you watch!
Fallen: Oh god. Uh...
Pinkie: Hey, she’s moving!
Dash: You have no idea how lucky you are.
Twilight: Ugh... I feel so light-headed...
Fallen: Your aneurysm went nuclear. You passed out for a while there. I have no idea how blood loss recovery works with ponies, but you may want to lay low for a little while.
Twilight: That’s the best idea you’ve ever had. We’re already taking a break, right?
AJ: Eeyup. And we’ve got you to thank for that, on account of you passin’ out on us.
Twilight: Well... that doesn’t usually happen to me a bunch of times in a row. I think having the one means I’m set for the rest of the story.
Fallen: I hope so, because there are six more chapters.
Twilight: WHAT!? Oh, ow, my head...
Fluttershy: Please try not to yell or stress yourself out. It’s not going to help you.
Fallen: Look, Twilight, I’m sorry about doing that to you through the story. I don’t think I’d have set this up if I knew I was going to be putting lives at risk.
Twilight: What are you talking about? A nosebleed isn’t all that bad.
Rarity: Twilight, darling, you were out cold because of the amount of blood you lost. I count that as a risk.
Twilight: ...point. At any rate, Fallen, I accept your apology. You’re probably not going to stop the riff on my account, are you?
Fallen: You said you think you’ll be fine, and it looks like you’re right so far, so there’s really no reason for it. Besides, this is one of the worst things to exist in the history of worst things to exist, and I can’t just stop getting you guys to obliterate it after only one chapter.
AJ: Well, ya COULD.
Fallen: But I won’t. This story needs to be taken down several notches, needs to be destroyed and unmade in every way we know how.
Pinkie: Wow, you’re really set on this! I’ve taught you well!
Fallen: I learn well by observation. Twilight, you ready to go again?
Twilight: I don’t know... I’m still really dizzy. I might end up starting to like it.
Fallen: I’ll be here to smack the stupid out of you if that happens.
Twilight: Thanks...?
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
people are asking me to post this
Dash: Probably just the so-bad-it’s-good crowd.
and im getting emails and comments begging it so im sorry if it offends.
Rarity: On all levels.
It is not edit since I did right it before anyone offered edit help so here it is.
Twilight: The site this was posted on... you’re able to edit published works on there, right?
Fallen: Yeah.
Twilight: So he couldn’t have had his alleged editor fix it even after he published?
Fallen: He’s too shit to consider it.
raritys house was pink frilled like a tutu dress.
AJ: No it ain’t. We’ve all been there tons of times, so ah think ah know what it looks like.
spike greeted me by her fron door which was made of oak and other things that would attract her cat to be happy there.
Pinkie: Stop trying to make Opalescence have naughty thoughts, Spike!
i am afraid she will be mad since idint call to say I was coming to try and be better friends
Fluttershy: What would he have called with? I mean, unless he can choose who he sends letters to...
Dash: Look, the point is that we don’t have phones or anything like that.
he looked sadly and I hugged him with resound.
Twilight: ...I don’t even know what word he was TRYING to use.
Fallen: Get used to that feeling. You’ll never not feel it.
do not fear spike i will help her to be happy with you I rubbed a hand down his scales. i am good with this stuff.
Fluttershy: I don’t like where that’s going...
just suddenly rarity appeared and she opened the door with magic. you must be prince willis she blushed like an apple.
AJ: PRINCE? Since when?
Pinkie: Since fifteen minutes ago from now!
I am prince willis I stated proudly and nodded that spike and I should be let into her place.
Twilight said you are amazing
Twilight: When did I have the time to talk to her?
why are you called prince willis she shrieked in merriment and I hugged her mane with a sexy hand.
Rarity: ACK! Unhand my mane, you ruffian!
because on my world i was the best person at PORTAL and the named me a prince
Rarity: Do monarchies on your world really rely on gaming prowess?
Fallen: None that I know of.
and gave me the actual gun from the game made real.
Fallen: Sucks that the AI killed them all before he had a chance to thank them HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.
she lowered herself against my side and I stroked her belly. you are fantasti.c
Dash: At least sleep with him before you say that. You have no idea how bad he could be in bed.
Fallen: ...I was just about to say that.
spike who was feeling out of the loop pouted and smacked me. fuck man you said you would help me not hog her yourself.
AJ: He’s helpin’ ya by showin’ ya what rejection’s like.
i sighed readily and told him do not worry spike i was only telling her why i was a prince and she will be easier to love because she likes princes.
Rarity: What sort of logic is this!?
Twilight: I’m going to stay on the safe side and not try to think about it.
fucking ok he yelled annoyed at me.
i used the gun and came here through a portle by accident
Fluttershy: Can a portal gun really do that?
Fallen: Not unless he was in Equestria, because he needs to shoot BOTH portals, and it has to be line-of-sight. Damn thing isn’t real, anyway.
Pinkie: Then what’s this thing?
Fallen: Somewhere that was SUPPOSED to be hidden. Put it back.
there was no way back cause the gun broke but you can see it here as my cute mark.
Fallen: Then where’s the gun itself?
Pinkie: I’m holding it, remember?
Fallen: I SAID PUT IT BACK!
i shaked my plot and she eyed the gun with love and envy and amazing.
Twilight: Okay. Fine. “Amazing” is a noun now.
you have the greatest most wonder cute mark in the whole equestria and its like diamonds.
Rarity: ...my cutie mark is a trio of diamonds.
She licked my butt and I squeeled happily
Fallen: I’d say “kinky,” but... I don’t know which one of them it’s meant to apply to.
AJ: Both of ‘em, looks like.
but spike saw and breathed fire on me burning my butt
Fluttershy: That wasn’t very nice of Spike to do!
Dash: This guy deserves it, though.
Fluttershy: How can you just make a judgment call like that?
Dash: I’m not wrong, though, am I?
Fluttershy: Well... um...
dude what the fuck we are getting laid I screeched through fire. fucking you are getting some not me and she was my lover.
Pinkie: But they’ve never slept together! Unless...
Rarity: Good heavens, no!
he ran over and grabbed her by the tit and stuck it in his mouth swirling his snake tongue through it.
Rarity: Through- did he penetrate the nipple with his tongue!?
she loves me not you he said. then he started to have sex with her
AJ: What’s even goin’ on?
Fallen: Closest approximation? Hell.
and I was really eager to help.
you canif you promise not to be a dick like before
Fallen: Let me near him and he won’t HAVE a dick!
Fluttershy: FALLEN!
Fallen: You’re thinking it too. You all are.
he moved his tail on my chest and we both groaned against rarity.
Rarity: I feel unclean.
AJ: This ain’t even real clop. How’s it makin’ ya feel unclean?
that nightafter we had all been satisfied a lot I brought him aside. we need to talk spike. we have gotten with two of the mane six we must do the rest or it will be unfair.
Dash: Is he on a mission to sleep with all of us!?
Fallen: My friends, behold the embodiment of all that is wrong with pony fanfiction.
his breath went up nose and he agreed as he spoke next to my mouth.
Pinkie: Aww! They really DO love each other!
Rarity: ...what?
We will go see fluttershy he said she loves me second best to rarity.
Twilight: I... Spike, no!
Fluttershy: It’s okay, Twilight. You know the story isn’t right
that night i sat alone and contemplated my falling through a portle and not getting back. I would be pony forever or longer.
Pinkie: You can’t go longer than forever, silly!
this was not time to making love.
Fallen: I wholly agree, horribly broken English.
i was a prince once i would be a prince here too
Dash: Not unless you’re somehow related to the princesses.
except since I already beat the game PORTAL i would do my best to be the prince of making the mane six and spike happy.
AJ: That ain’t how it works at all!
Twilight: It is now. I don’t even care anymore.
just when i closed my eye there was angel bunny. she looked mad and stamped.
Rarity: Why is Angel in my boutique?
Fluttershy: And why is he a girl?
What is it angel i asked with sleepy eyes and a yawn that i didn’t even know that she knew me since we werent visiting fluttershy till tomorrow or whenever spike thought best.
Twilight: For the sake of my own sanity, I’m pretending that made sense.
she used bunny sign languege and explaned she had a play date with opalessnse and they were loving like we were
AJ: That’s even wronger than a dragon ruttin’ a pony!
Fallen: And because apple short think Angel’s a girl, this is interspecies lesbianism.
Dash: I hate everything right now.
when he heard spikes and my plan. she wouldnt let us love her without him.
Fluttershy: And... now it can’t decide if Angel’s a boy or a girl?
Fallen: It just bothers me that they know what she’s saying. Even Fluttershy has some translation issues sometimes.
Fluttershy: Not as many anymore.
i agreed and we stamped down twice to seal it as promise
Pinkie: But can’t Angel understand us anyway? They could just tell her that they promise! If they really want to sign it, they can just make a Pinkie promise!
and then she fell asleep in my pony mane and we cuddled to bed.
Twilight: Cuddling as a description of motion? Fine, I’ll take it.
Fallen: (dope slaps Twilight) You’re getting carried away with that. Knock it off.
next chapter we will visit fluttershy
Fluttershy: I’m perfectly happy not being involved, thank you.
and angel bunny will be mean probably unless applejack stops by with fruit.
AJ: Ah don’t think Angel likes me much. Probably doesn’t like anypony else, for that matter.
my friend helped me again with the editing so thanks dude.
Fallen: Interesting how he’s thanking THIS alleged editor when he told his ACTUAL editor for a different story to fuck off.
Twilight: Can we stop again? I can’t take all this in one sitting.
Dash: Probably just the so-bad-it’s-good crowd.
and im getting emails and comments begging it so im sorry if it offends.
Rarity: On all levels.
It is not edit since I did right it before anyone offered edit help so here it is.
Twilight: The site this was posted on... you’re able to edit published works on there, right?
Fallen: Yeah.
Twilight: So he couldn’t have had his alleged editor fix it even after he published?
Fallen: He’s too shit to consider it.
raritys house was pink frilled like a tutu dress.
AJ: No it ain’t. We’ve all been there tons of times, so ah think ah know what it looks like.
spike greeted me by her fron door which was made of oak and other things that would attract her cat to be happy there.
Pinkie: Stop trying to make Opalescence have naughty thoughts, Spike!
i am afraid she will be mad since idint call to say I was coming to try and be better friends
Fluttershy: What would he have called with? I mean, unless he can choose who he sends letters to...
Dash: Look, the point is that we don’t have phones or anything like that.
he looked sadly and I hugged him with resound.
Twilight: ...I don’t even know what word he was TRYING to use.
Fallen: Get used to that feeling. You’ll never not feel it.
do not fear spike i will help her to be happy with you I rubbed a hand down his scales. i am good with this stuff.
Fluttershy: I don’t like where that’s going...
just suddenly rarity appeared and she opened the door with magic. you must be prince willis she blushed like an apple.
AJ: PRINCE? Since when?
Pinkie: Since fifteen minutes ago from now!
I am prince willis I stated proudly and nodded that spike and I should be let into her place.
Twilight said you are amazing
Twilight: When did I have the time to talk to her?
why are you called prince willis she shrieked in merriment and I hugged her mane with a sexy hand.
Rarity: ACK! Unhand my mane, you ruffian!
because on my world i was the best person at PORTAL and the named me a prince
Rarity: Do monarchies on your world really rely on gaming prowess?
Fallen: None that I know of.
and gave me the actual gun from the game made real.
Fallen: Sucks that the AI killed them all before he had a chance to thank them HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.
she lowered herself against my side and I stroked her belly. you are fantasti.c
Dash: At least sleep with him before you say that. You have no idea how bad he could be in bed.
Fallen: ...I was just about to say that.
spike who was feeling out of the loop pouted and smacked me. fuck man you said you would help me not hog her yourself.
AJ: He’s helpin’ ya by showin’ ya what rejection’s like.
i sighed readily and told him do not worry spike i was only telling her why i was a prince and she will be easier to love because she likes princes.
Rarity: What sort of logic is this!?
Twilight: I’m going to stay on the safe side and not try to think about it.
fucking ok he yelled annoyed at me.
i used the gun and came here through a portle by accident
Fluttershy: Can a portal gun really do that?
Fallen: Not unless he was in Equestria, because he needs to shoot BOTH portals, and it has to be line-of-sight. Damn thing isn’t real, anyway.
Pinkie: Then what’s this thing?
Fallen: Somewhere that was SUPPOSED to be hidden. Put it back.
there was no way back cause the gun broke but you can see it here as my cute mark.
Fallen: Then where’s the gun itself?
Pinkie: I’m holding it, remember?
Fallen: I SAID PUT IT BACK!
i shaked my plot and she eyed the gun with love and envy and amazing.
Twilight: Okay. Fine. “Amazing” is a noun now.
you have the greatest most wonder cute mark in the whole equestria and its like diamonds.
Rarity: ...my cutie mark is a trio of diamonds.
She licked my butt and I squeeled happily
Fallen: I’d say “kinky,” but... I don’t know which one of them it’s meant to apply to.
AJ: Both of ‘em, looks like.
but spike saw and breathed fire on me burning my butt
Fluttershy: That wasn’t very nice of Spike to do!
Dash: This guy deserves it, though.
Fluttershy: How can you just make a judgment call like that?
Dash: I’m not wrong, though, am I?
Fluttershy: Well... um...
dude what the fuck we are getting laid I screeched through fire. fucking you are getting some not me and she was my lover.
Pinkie: But they’ve never slept together! Unless...
Rarity: Good heavens, no!
he ran over and grabbed her by the tit and stuck it in his mouth swirling his snake tongue through it.
Rarity: Through- did he penetrate the nipple with his tongue!?
she loves me not you he said. then he started to have sex with her
AJ: What’s even goin’ on?
Fallen: Closest approximation? Hell.
and I was really eager to help.
you canif you promise not to be a dick like before
Fallen: Let me near him and he won’t HAVE a dick!
Fluttershy: FALLEN!
Fallen: You’re thinking it too. You all are.
he moved his tail on my chest and we both groaned against rarity.
Rarity: I feel unclean.
AJ: This ain’t even real clop. How’s it makin’ ya feel unclean?
that nightafter we had all been satisfied a lot I brought him aside. we need to talk spike. we have gotten with two of the mane six we must do the rest or it will be unfair.
Dash: Is he on a mission to sleep with all of us!?
Fallen: My friends, behold the embodiment of all that is wrong with pony fanfiction.
his breath went up nose and he agreed as he spoke next to my mouth.
Pinkie: Aww! They really DO love each other!
Rarity: ...what?
We will go see fluttershy he said she loves me second best to rarity.
Twilight: I... Spike, no!
Fluttershy: It’s okay, Twilight. You know the story isn’t right
that night i sat alone and contemplated my falling through a portle and not getting back. I would be pony forever or longer.
Pinkie: You can’t go longer than forever, silly!
this was not time to making love.
Fallen: I wholly agree, horribly broken English.
i was a prince once i would be a prince here too
Dash: Not unless you’re somehow related to the princesses.
except since I already beat the game PORTAL i would do my best to be the prince of making the mane six and spike happy.
AJ: That ain’t how it works at all!
Twilight: It is now. I don’t even care anymore.
just when i closed my eye there was angel bunny. she looked mad and stamped.
Rarity: Why is Angel in my boutique?
Fluttershy: And why is he a girl?
What is it angel i asked with sleepy eyes and a yawn that i didn’t even know that she knew me since we werent visiting fluttershy till tomorrow or whenever spike thought best.
Twilight: For the sake of my own sanity, I’m pretending that made sense.
she used bunny sign languege and explaned she had a play date with opalessnse and they were loving like we were
AJ: That’s even wronger than a dragon ruttin’ a pony!
Fallen: And because apple short think Angel’s a girl, this is interspecies lesbianism.
Dash: I hate everything right now.
when he heard spikes and my plan. she wouldnt let us love her without him.
Fluttershy: And... now it can’t decide if Angel’s a boy or a girl?
Fallen: It just bothers me that they know what she’s saying. Even Fluttershy has some translation issues sometimes.
Fluttershy: Not as many anymore.
i agreed and we stamped down twice to seal it as promise
Pinkie: But can’t Angel understand us anyway? They could just tell her that they promise! If they really want to sign it, they can just make a Pinkie promise!
and then she fell asleep in my pony mane and we cuddled to bed.
Twilight: Cuddling as a description of motion? Fine, I’ll take it.
Fallen: (dope slaps Twilight) You’re getting carried away with that. Knock it off.
next chapter we will visit fluttershy
Fluttershy: I’m perfectly happy not being involved, thank you.
and angel bunny will be mean probably unless applejack stops by with fruit.
AJ: Ah don’t think Angel likes me much. Probably doesn’t like anypony else, for that matter.
my friend helped me again with the editing so thanks dude.
Fallen: Interesting how he’s thanking THIS alleged editor when he told his ACTUAL editor for a different story to fuck off.
Twilight: Can we stop again? I can’t take all this in one sitting.
AJ: This just ain’t addin’ up. Why’s this prince guy tryin’ to mount all of us?
Fallen: Because he can.
Dash: Oh, no he can’t!
Fallen: He can. He’s a Gary Stu in a pony story. That almost always dooms at least one canon character to being their sex puppet, and in worst-case scenarios, it dooms one or all of you.
Fluttershy: But none of us would ever just have sex with a random stallion!
Fallen: You say that now, but the power of the Mary Sue and Gary Stu is infinite. There are none that they can’t get to love them inexplicably and instantly. There is nothing they can’t do without error. There are no flaws, no imperfections in their character.
Pinkie: Well, that’s boring.
Fallen: Doesn’t stop them from existing in infinite waves.
Twilight: It’s not just fanfiction that does that, either. I’ve read so many books where I just couldn’t get engaged in what was happening because the hero wasn’t challenged. There’s no effort put into their characters.
Rarity: Ugh. Such loathsome archetypes.
Twilight: I don’t hate them.
AJ: Wait, what?
Twilight: I can’t! I can’t hate them because they can’t fail because they don’t try. If they don’t engage you, they can’t get you to react, not even with rage.
Fallen: Oh, but that’s the evil of Martin Willis. He’s the Gary Stu that actually pushes your buttons.
Twilight: What makes you think that?
Fallen: It’s so obvious. Your character here is drawn to him before he can even do anything in Equestria. He instantly befriends Spike, your beloved assistant, and ropes you into a threesome with him and Spike. And it just drives you mad that you could be used like that, that your assistant could be so willfully manipulated. He sickens you, doesn’t he?
Twilight: Alright, fine. I actually do hate Prince Martin Willis.
Pinkie: Ah-ah-ah! It’s “pRince!”
Twilight: You’re still saying- you know what, never mind. But yeah, he just drives me crazy! He’s everything I shouldn’t be fazed by, but at the same time, he’s everything I hate!
Fallen: Savor that feeling. It’ll make tearing this story apart much more satisfying.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Fallen: Because he can.
Dash: Oh, no he can’t!
Fallen: He can. He’s a Gary Stu in a pony story. That almost always dooms at least one canon character to being their sex puppet, and in worst-case scenarios, it dooms one or all of you.
Fluttershy: But none of us would ever just have sex with a random stallion!
Fallen: You say that now, but the power of the Mary Sue and Gary Stu is infinite. There are none that they can’t get to love them inexplicably and instantly. There is nothing they can’t do without error. There are no flaws, no imperfections in their character.
Pinkie: Well, that’s boring.
Fallen: Doesn’t stop them from existing in infinite waves.
Twilight: It’s not just fanfiction that does that, either. I’ve read so many books where I just couldn’t get engaged in what was happening because the hero wasn’t challenged. There’s no effort put into their characters.
Rarity: Ugh. Such loathsome archetypes.
Twilight: I don’t hate them.
AJ: Wait, what?
Twilight: I can’t! I can’t hate them because they can’t fail because they don’t try. If they don’t engage you, they can’t get you to react, not even with rage.
Fallen: Oh, but that’s the evil of Martin Willis. He’s the Gary Stu that actually pushes your buttons.
Twilight: What makes you think that?
Fallen: It’s so obvious. Your character here is drawn to him before he can even do anything in Equestria. He instantly befriends Spike, your beloved assistant, and ropes you into a threesome with him and Spike. And it just drives you mad that you could be used like that, that your assistant could be so willfully manipulated. He sickens you, doesn’t he?
Twilight: Alright, fine. I actually do hate Prince Martin Willis.
Pinkie: Ah-ah-ah! It’s “pRince!”
Twilight: You’re still saying- you know what, never mind. But yeah, he just drives me crazy! He’s everything I shouldn’t be fazed by, but at the same time, he’s everything I hate!
Fallen: Savor that feeling. It’ll make tearing this story apart much more satisfying.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
i ran out of time while writing this so that only most of what i wanted to say i could.
Fallen: What poor clod even writes all their shit in one sitting? That’s just rushing it.
also i will not be editin this story until it is up sinse it is already here and people say it is better to go back after and see how much better you have gotten.
Twilight: Then... save multiple drafts of your work.
Fallen: Well... I tend to do that too. But it’s only if I notice something in the transfer from the original doc to FIMFiction, or if someone comes by with a critique or suggestion.
the next day spike and i ran acros to the library to visit with twilight and to let her know that we will be heading to fluttershy wood castle.
Fluttershy: But it’s a cottage! What would I do with a castle?
twilight i jumped and ran kissing her and hugging her mane harshly.
Dash: Why does this guy love pulling ponies’ manes so much?
AJ: Same reason he likes ponies kissin’ his cutie mark.
we need to go visit fluttershy so we will be gone today but i still love you the most because you are my favorite.
Pinkie: Just because you’re in a relationship with a mare doesn’t mean you have to ask permission to hang out with other mares!
Fallen: THANK you.
she nodded with understanding beyond my exspecshun
Twilight: But- but he’s leaving to have sex with them! And I KNOW that! Why would I be okay with that if I actually liked him!?
Fallen: What part of “Gary Stu” isn’t sinking in?
and i signaled to spike that it was a good time to go after i kissed twilight goodbye for then
spike we must hurry i have a bad feeling in my gut.
Rarity: He must realize what he’s become.
Twilight: Or what he started out as.
Dash: I’m pretty sure they’re never actually aware of how bland they are.
yes we must because i am getting tired of all this walking he gloomed.
AJ: Ha. Poor guy can’t take a bit of work.
Fluttershy: Is walking really so much work, though?
AJ: Nope. That’s why it’s sad.
grow some balls coward i snorted in anger and he flamed at my hoofs in vengance.
Dash: Why are these guys friends again?
fucking coward stop it i tried to attack him but suddenly we were at the wooden forest of fluttershys house.
Twilight: So they’re either in the Everfree Forest...
Rarity: Or Fluttershy has an elaborate network of treehouses.
Pinkie: Or she has treehouses in the Everfree Forest!
Fluttershy: Why would anypony even live there?
Fallen: Zecora.
Fluttershy: ...true.
next time you will pay i said but we had both forgotten about being angry because now we were excited.
Twilight: Are they both bipolar?
spike nocked and fluttershy appeared. Hello um prince um im fluttershy and i am here you um are amazing.
Fluttershy: How do I know who he is? And why do I think he’s amazing just from looking at him?
Pinkie: And why are you saying “um” so much?
angel bunny stamped at her foot and she cringed in distane.
Fallen: Oh, come on! She’s not Angel’s bitch all the time!
Dash: Oh, but she is SOME of the time?
Fallen: I didn’t say it, you did.
not know um angel i am um meeting with martin willis um and you will make um me appear sad um in front of him um and then i will be um and then he will um leave so please dont um.
AJ: What’s got her so nervous?
Rarity: Perhaps it is the infinite majesty of the Gary Stu before her.
Pinkie: Wow, you’re GOOD! I’d NEVER be able to say that with a straight face!
she kicked him away shakily and he was angered but said nothing only cried slightly.
Fluttershy: No. Angel Bunny is NOT that emotionally fragile.
I walked in side beside spike who was eager and i grabbed at her long mane not meanly and pulled her to me.
Twilight: He could easily be arrested for assault and abuse at this point with all this mane-pulling.
do not worry angel and i have met and he says that it is ok for us to be together so long as he can help.
Fluttershy: Sex with Angel!?
Fallen: Sadly... not a new concept in this fandom.
Fluttershy: WHAT!?
angel stamped in bunny sign language saying that he no longer wanted to help but mostly watch.
Fluttershy: He WANTED it!?
Rarity: I’m uncertain of who I should be enraged at here. Angel for this desire, or Fallen for subjecting us to this.
Fallen: Come on, Rarity. I thought the ice was thicker than that.
Rarity: It grows thinner the more you skate on it.
she turned red like a tomato and stammered fully scared but eager too. i um guess that um is ok then um.
Dash: How is she LESS okay with Angel watching than she is with Angel JOINING IN!?
i reached at her hair and suddenly she panicked and fleed to the kitchen to make some snacks.
Twilight: But she let him do it before.
spike rolled his eyes knowingly and pulled me at him with his scaled tail. she is a fucking wuss man.
AJ: Biggest lie ever. She handled that dragon AND that manticore better than all the rest of us combined!
Dash: Plus her going berserk to catch me after Discord screwed with my head.
Rarity: And her assertive awakening brought about by Iron Will proved that she has the potential to be just the opposite.
Fluttershy: Thank you, but... can we not talk about that one?
you will have to gentle fuck her or else it would not be right and she will freaking run and none of us will be fulfilled.
Pinkie: That’s not how it went in “Rarity’s Generous Plan!”
Fluttershy: Can we REALLY not talk about that one?
i agreed hastily because my goal was to be the prince of sleeping with the mane six
Fallen: I swear this guy’s just like Barney Stinson. Except way less awesome. And way less character.
Dash: Who’s Barney Stinson?
Fallen: I’ll have to show you sometime. You might like him, Rainbow.
but also because i loved twilight most and was only doing this so the others could feel good too.
Rarity: Is moral support not enough?
fucking stupid motherfucking bunny! it was fluttershy and she was in a sore rage of horror.
Fluttershy: (looking on in horror, tears streaming from her eyes)
Pinkie: ...can we skip this scene? I don’t like making Fluttershy cry.
Fallen: That’s not to say your own pranks haven’t made her cry before. We’re NOT half-assing this riff.
i looked to spike for instruction but he shrugged filled with sacredness.
Twilight: Nothing is sacred anymore. This story destroyed everything that was.
i have never heard her go this crazy he said with worriment. perhaps this is a good time to go and make love.
AJ: Wait, wait, wait. She’s goin’ crazy, so they decide-
Fallen: Yep. Fuck the crazy out of her.
i was eager and agreeing we ran to the kitchen.
she had cornered angel with a knife and was threatening him with a menace.
Fluttershy: A... a kn-knife?
Rarity: It’s not real, Fluttershy, none of this is real...
Stop fucking stamping and telling me what to do or else i will kill you she raged.
Fallen: I... I actually take serious issue with this. Yes, Angel can be demanding and stubborn, but he’s basically the assertion that Fluttershy’s often afraid to show. He’s her encouragement to stick up for herself and be a stronger mare. She would NEVER TAKE A KNIFE TO HIM FOR THAT.
angel quickly crossed to me and spike and it was time to start seducing her.
AJ: This goes against everythin’ any sane pony would do.
do not worry about the bunny i said carefully since she still had the knife. her wings sunk and she began to cry.
Twilight: That’s... actually a believable response when you’re talked out of doing something like this.
Pinkie: She really didn’t need much convincing, did she?
do not cry i said beginning to kiss her steadily but without tongue so she would not be overwhelmed like spike said not to.
Dash: Yeah, kiss the mare who just went after a bunny with a knife.
Fallen: I hope she picks it back up and cuts out his tongue.
i rubbed her belly and spike rubbed her tail with his claw.
Rarity: I had an image of him attempting to braid her tail. I cannot envision it as being a good look for her.
ok um i will not kill him um but only because you asked prince martin.
Fluttershy: (eye twitching) ONLY because he asked!?
Fallen: Oh boy.
i gave her my winning grin and i could tell she was becoming ok with being loved
Pinkie: But being loved and having friends is the best thing ever!
and so i gently touched her boobs and she moaned with exstasy.
Fallen: Horses’ teats aren’t erogenous zones, are they?
Twilight: That doesn’t even make any sense! Why would he even think they were?
Fallen: Because human breasts seem to be.
Twilight: There’s so much about your race that I just don’t want to get.
Fallen: All races are mixed bags, so don’t just knock it based on that.
you um are magnificent um. she glared with fierce passion and we began to make love and spike made love with her face and angel watched.
Fluttershy: NO!!! I would never let some random stallion I know nothing about just mount me like that, I would never let Spike’s reproductive organs anywhere near my face, and I would not let Angel watch me have sex!
AJ: Ah’m scared of her right now.
Fallen: I’d never have thought anyone would say that about Fluttershy, but I really don’t blame you.
the next morning we all woke up pleased and made love quickly.
Rarity: You realize that saying you are making love implies that there is actual love involved, do you not?
you are the best kisser she said of me and spike glared. fucking i kiss better because my tongue is longer and i am a better lover.
Dash: Why does Spike start all his sentences like that?
Twilight: I don’t know, but I have a serious urge to wash his mouth out with soap.
Pinkie: And how does better kissing mean better sex?
he was annoyed but she was more annoyed. fucking shut up spike we all make love wonderfly but he has the biggest dick so he is better.
Fallen: It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.
Pinkie: Ooh, I’ve never heard that one before! Did you make it up?
Fallen: Of course I didn’t.
Fluttershy: I just... I can’t even say anything about this.
we were about to fight when all of the sudden there was applejack with a bucket of apples.
AJ: Apples are great and all, but ah didn’t think they could just up and stop a fight.
Rarity: Fresh fruit. The ultimate mediator.
you all want some here apples you all. she sexily asked in a cowboy voice holding up apples for everyone and her cheeks blushed red to match the color.
Fluttershy: So now Applejack is in love with Martin?
AJ: What!? WHY!?
you are so hot i said and we should make love because i think you make the best apples and i am here to help you be happy.
Dash: But he hasn’t been in town long enough to even TRY her apples. Why would he just assume that?
Fallen: Flattery and pillow talk.
she agreed shyly and fluttershy rolled her eyes in pleased annoyness and we all started to have sex.
Rarity: As is the natural progression of things.
Just as i was touching applejacks boobs through my hands
Twilight: Ponies don’t have either.
and spike was lick kissing both applejack and fluttershy
Pinkie: What’s a lick kiss?
Fallen: My guess is that it’s when someone who has no idea how to use tongue starts slobbering over their partner’s face.
he began to scream with an abundant sadness. fuck and he spit flames and suddenly there was a letter.
AJ: Okay. So... he’s sad for some reason...
Twilight: And then he swears again...
Fluttershy: And... then a letter happens?
he screeched mightily now we must return to twilight or things will be bad because this is a letter from celest
Twilight: “CELEST!?”
Fallen: I’ve seen “Celestica.” This doesn’t even register with me.
and she needs them at once. i sadly agreed and we ran off
Fallen: Thank god. Maybe now the sex can finally stop-
leaving angel to watch fluttershy and applejack make love alone not as happy as when we were there.
AJ and Fluttershy: WHAT!?
Pinkie: Heehee! It’s funny when you guys keep doing that!
in the next chapter i will make love to twilight and assure her of my love
Twilight: That’s one of the first things I’ve seen that’s made SENSE.
Dash: Wait, WHAT?
Twilight: Think about it. Martin is supposed to be in love with me, right? And yet he’s been going around Ponyville and sleeping with all my friends, AND taking Spike with him. Don’t you think I’d start doubting he really loved me?
Dash: Well, duh, but how would sex help with that?
and also we will hear the princesses letter
Fallen: What’s the point if they’re going to just grab Twilight and rush to meet her anyway?
Pinkie: They already said what the letter said anyway! Somepony named Celest wanted to see them!
and something bad with discord will be expected.
Rarity: Given the chaotic nature of this story, an appearance by Discord seems rather redundant-
(Suddenly, there’s a bright flash and a crack of lightning, and Discord appears, laughing maniacally.)
Discord: Somepony called for me?
Fallen: ...yeah, just stop it here.
Fallen: What poor clod even writes all their shit in one sitting? That’s just rushing it.
also i will not be editin this story until it is up sinse it is already here and people say it is better to go back after and see how much better you have gotten.
Twilight: Then... save multiple drafts of your work.
Fallen: Well... I tend to do that too. But it’s only if I notice something in the transfer from the original doc to FIMFiction, or if someone comes by with a critique or suggestion.
the next day spike and i ran acros to the library to visit with twilight and to let her know that we will be heading to fluttershy wood castle.
Fluttershy: But it’s a cottage! What would I do with a castle?
twilight i jumped and ran kissing her and hugging her mane harshly.
Dash: Why does this guy love pulling ponies’ manes so much?
AJ: Same reason he likes ponies kissin’ his cutie mark.
we need to go visit fluttershy so we will be gone today but i still love you the most because you are my favorite.
Pinkie: Just because you’re in a relationship with a mare doesn’t mean you have to ask permission to hang out with other mares!
Fallen: THANK you.
she nodded with understanding beyond my exspecshun
Twilight: But- but he’s leaving to have sex with them! And I KNOW that! Why would I be okay with that if I actually liked him!?
Fallen: What part of “Gary Stu” isn’t sinking in?
and i signaled to spike that it was a good time to go after i kissed twilight goodbye for then
spike we must hurry i have a bad feeling in my gut.
Rarity: He must realize what he’s become.
Twilight: Or what he started out as.
Dash: I’m pretty sure they’re never actually aware of how bland they are.
yes we must because i am getting tired of all this walking he gloomed.
AJ: Ha. Poor guy can’t take a bit of work.
Fluttershy: Is walking really so much work, though?
AJ: Nope. That’s why it’s sad.
grow some balls coward i snorted in anger and he flamed at my hoofs in vengance.
Dash: Why are these guys friends again?
fucking coward stop it i tried to attack him but suddenly we were at the wooden forest of fluttershys house.
Twilight: So they’re either in the Everfree Forest...
Rarity: Or Fluttershy has an elaborate network of treehouses.
Pinkie: Or she has treehouses in the Everfree Forest!
Fluttershy: Why would anypony even live there?
Fallen: Zecora.
Fluttershy: ...true.
next time you will pay i said but we had both forgotten about being angry because now we were excited.
Twilight: Are they both bipolar?
spike nocked and fluttershy appeared. Hello um prince um im fluttershy and i am here you um are amazing.
Fluttershy: How do I know who he is? And why do I think he’s amazing just from looking at him?
Pinkie: And why are you saying “um” so much?
angel bunny stamped at her foot and she cringed in distane.
Fallen: Oh, come on! She’s not Angel’s bitch all the time!
Dash: Oh, but she is SOME of the time?
Fallen: I didn’t say it, you did.
not know um angel i am um meeting with martin willis um and you will make um me appear sad um in front of him um and then i will be um and then he will um leave so please dont um.
AJ: What’s got her so nervous?
Rarity: Perhaps it is the infinite majesty of the Gary Stu before her.
Pinkie: Wow, you’re GOOD! I’d NEVER be able to say that with a straight face!
she kicked him away shakily and he was angered but said nothing only cried slightly.
Fluttershy: No. Angel Bunny is NOT that emotionally fragile.
I walked in side beside spike who was eager and i grabbed at her long mane not meanly and pulled her to me.
Twilight: He could easily be arrested for assault and abuse at this point with all this mane-pulling.
do not worry angel and i have met and he says that it is ok for us to be together so long as he can help.
Fluttershy: Sex with Angel!?
Fallen: Sadly... not a new concept in this fandom.
Fluttershy: WHAT!?
angel stamped in bunny sign language saying that he no longer wanted to help but mostly watch.
Fluttershy: He WANTED it!?
Rarity: I’m uncertain of who I should be enraged at here. Angel for this desire, or Fallen for subjecting us to this.
Fallen: Come on, Rarity. I thought the ice was thicker than that.
Rarity: It grows thinner the more you skate on it.
she turned red like a tomato and stammered fully scared but eager too. i um guess that um is ok then um.
Dash: How is she LESS okay with Angel watching than she is with Angel JOINING IN!?
i reached at her hair and suddenly she panicked and fleed to the kitchen to make some snacks.
Twilight: But she let him do it before.
spike rolled his eyes knowingly and pulled me at him with his scaled tail. she is a fucking wuss man.
AJ: Biggest lie ever. She handled that dragon AND that manticore better than all the rest of us combined!
Dash: Plus her going berserk to catch me after Discord screwed with my head.
Rarity: And her assertive awakening brought about by Iron Will proved that she has the potential to be just the opposite.
Fluttershy: Thank you, but... can we not talk about that one?
you will have to gentle fuck her or else it would not be right and she will freaking run and none of us will be fulfilled.
Pinkie: That’s not how it went in “Rarity’s Generous Plan!”
Fluttershy: Can we REALLY not talk about that one?
i agreed hastily because my goal was to be the prince of sleeping with the mane six
Fallen: I swear this guy’s just like Barney Stinson. Except way less awesome. And way less character.
Dash: Who’s Barney Stinson?
Fallen: I’ll have to show you sometime. You might like him, Rainbow.
but also because i loved twilight most and was only doing this so the others could feel good too.
Rarity: Is moral support not enough?
fucking stupid motherfucking bunny! it was fluttershy and she was in a sore rage of horror.
Fluttershy: (looking on in horror, tears streaming from her eyes)
Pinkie: ...can we skip this scene? I don’t like making Fluttershy cry.
Fallen: That’s not to say your own pranks haven’t made her cry before. We’re NOT half-assing this riff.
i looked to spike for instruction but he shrugged filled with sacredness.
Twilight: Nothing is sacred anymore. This story destroyed everything that was.
i have never heard her go this crazy he said with worriment. perhaps this is a good time to go and make love.
AJ: Wait, wait, wait. She’s goin’ crazy, so they decide-
Fallen: Yep. Fuck the crazy out of her.
i was eager and agreeing we ran to the kitchen.
she had cornered angel with a knife and was threatening him with a menace.
Fluttershy: A... a kn-knife?
Rarity: It’s not real, Fluttershy, none of this is real...
Stop fucking stamping and telling me what to do or else i will kill you she raged.
Fallen: I... I actually take serious issue with this. Yes, Angel can be demanding and stubborn, but he’s basically the assertion that Fluttershy’s often afraid to show. He’s her encouragement to stick up for herself and be a stronger mare. She would NEVER TAKE A KNIFE TO HIM FOR THAT.
angel quickly crossed to me and spike and it was time to start seducing her.
AJ: This goes against everythin’ any sane pony would do.
do not worry about the bunny i said carefully since she still had the knife. her wings sunk and she began to cry.
Twilight: That’s... actually a believable response when you’re talked out of doing something like this.
Pinkie: She really didn’t need much convincing, did she?
do not cry i said beginning to kiss her steadily but without tongue so she would not be overwhelmed like spike said not to.
Dash: Yeah, kiss the mare who just went after a bunny with a knife.
Fallen: I hope she picks it back up and cuts out his tongue.
i rubbed her belly and spike rubbed her tail with his claw.
Rarity: I had an image of him attempting to braid her tail. I cannot envision it as being a good look for her.
ok um i will not kill him um but only because you asked prince martin.
Fluttershy: (eye twitching) ONLY because he asked!?
Fallen: Oh boy.
i gave her my winning grin and i could tell she was becoming ok with being loved
Pinkie: But being loved and having friends is the best thing ever!
and so i gently touched her boobs and she moaned with exstasy.
Fallen: Horses’ teats aren’t erogenous zones, are they?
Twilight: That doesn’t even make any sense! Why would he even think they were?
Fallen: Because human breasts seem to be.
Twilight: There’s so much about your race that I just don’t want to get.
Fallen: All races are mixed bags, so don’t just knock it based on that.
you um are magnificent um. she glared with fierce passion and we began to make love and spike made love with her face and angel watched.
Fluttershy: NO!!! I would never let some random stallion I know nothing about just mount me like that, I would never let Spike’s reproductive organs anywhere near my face, and I would not let Angel watch me have sex!
AJ: Ah’m scared of her right now.
Fallen: I’d never have thought anyone would say that about Fluttershy, but I really don’t blame you.
the next morning we all woke up pleased and made love quickly.
Rarity: You realize that saying you are making love implies that there is actual love involved, do you not?
you are the best kisser she said of me and spike glared. fucking i kiss better because my tongue is longer and i am a better lover.
Dash: Why does Spike start all his sentences like that?
Twilight: I don’t know, but I have a serious urge to wash his mouth out with soap.
Pinkie: And how does better kissing mean better sex?
he was annoyed but she was more annoyed. fucking shut up spike we all make love wonderfly but he has the biggest dick so he is better.
Fallen: It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.
Pinkie: Ooh, I’ve never heard that one before! Did you make it up?
Fallen: Of course I didn’t.
Fluttershy: I just... I can’t even say anything about this.
we were about to fight when all of the sudden there was applejack with a bucket of apples.
AJ: Apples are great and all, but ah didn’t think they could just up and stop a fight.
Rarity: Fresh fruit. The ultimate mediator.
you all want some here apples you all. she sexily asked in a cowboy voice holding up apples for everyone and her cheeks blushed red to match the color.
Fluttershy: So now Applejack is in love with Martin?
AJ: What!? WHY!?
you are so hot i said and we should make love because i think you make the best apples and i am here to help you be happy.
Dash: But he hasn’t been in town long enough to even TRY her apples. Why would he just assume that?
Fallen: Flattery and pillow talk.
she agreed shyly and fluttershy rolled her eyes in pleased annoyness and we all started to have sex.
Rarity: As is the natural progression of things.
Just as i was touching applejacks boobs through my hands
Twilight: Ponies don’t have either.
and spike was lick kissing both applejack and fluttershy
Pinkie: What’s a lick kiss?
Fallen: My guess is that it’s when someone who has no idea how to use tongue starts slobbering over their partner’s face.
he began to scream with an abundant sadness. fuck and he spit flames and suddenly there was a letter.
AJ: Okay. So... he’s sad for some reason...
Twilight: And then he swears again...
Fluttershy: And... then a letter happens?
he screeched mightily now we must return to twilight or things will be bad because this is a letter from celest
Twilight: “CELEST!?”
Fallen: I’ve seen “Celestica.” This doesn’t even register with me.
and she needs them at once. i sadly agreed and we ran off
Fallen: Thank god. Maybe now the sex can finally stop-
leaving angel to watch fluttershy and applejack make love alone not as happy as when we were there.
AJ and Fluttershy: WHAT!?
Pinkie: Heehee! It’s funny when you guys keep doing that!
in the next chapter i will make love to twilight and assure her of my love
Twilight: That’s one of the first things I’ve seen that’s made SENSE.
Dash: Wait, WHAT?
Twilight: Think about it. Martin is supposed to be in love with me, right? And yet he’s been going around Ponyville and sleeping with all my friends, AND taking Spike with him. Don’t you think I’d start doubting he really loved me?
Dash: Well, duh, but how would sex help with that?
and also we will hear the princesses letter
Fallen: What’s the point if they’re going to just grab Twilight and rush to meet her anyway?
Pinkie: They already said what the letter said anyway! Somepony named Celest wanted to see them!
and something bad with discord will be expected.
Rarity: Given the chaotic nature of this story, an appearance by Discord seems rather redundant-
(Suddenly, there’s a bright flash and a crack of lightning, and Discord appears, laughing maniacally.)
Discord: Somepony called for me?
Fallen: ...yeah, just stop it here.
Fallen: How is it that when I build up to it, it doesn’t happen, but when the STORY mentions him, he just poofs in?
Pinkie: Hiya, Discord!
Discord: I refuse to speak to any of you ponies. Not after you imprisoned me in stone AGAIN.
Pinkie: But-
Fallen: I don’t even know why you tried, Pinkie, but you should stop. How are you even free, Discord?
Discord: Isn’t it obvious? This story you’ve found is the perfect mess! Its plot is in shambles, its characters don’t behave as they should, its hero is a fearsome force of monotony, and it may as well be written in its own imagined language! I’ve never seen such sweet chaos in all my life, and it was enough to free me once again from my bonds!
Twilight: Which we can stick you right back into!
Discord: Oh, please. I got rusty after spending millennia in that prison the first time. I still haven’t lost my touch after last time, so I doubt you could do anything. Perhaps if some new ponies collected the Elements of Harmony... but now I know how it works with the six of you. For all you know, I could have a way to counter it!
AJ: I thought ya weren’t gonna talk to us.
Discord: Did you really take me to be a man of my word?
Dash: He’s got you there.
Rarity: State your business, you foul creature.
Discord: Such hostility! What did I ever do to you?
Rarity: I could compile an extensive list for you.
Discord: Have fun with that. Well, when I first got free, I immediately figured I’d come back to take over again. I’m sure it would have been far easier. Plus, third time’s the charm, right?
Pinkie: So what happened to that?
Twilight: He never said he wasn’t still going to.
Pinkie: It was the WAY he said it! There’s a “but” there somewhere!
Discord: Indeed there is.
Fluttershy: You mean... you want to do something other than plunge the world into chaos?
Discord: It hardly seems worth it at this point. Even if you six can’t stop me this time, there will be others who can and almost certainly will. Celestia and Luna have most likely grown stronger as well in my absence.
Fallen: Well, actually-
Discord: Yes, I know, the younger sibling’s exile. The point is, they’ve both grown. They may be able to defeat me as well.
Fallen: But they didn’t even try when you came back last time.
Discord: Hm... interesting point... but even if I could and did defeat them, the Elements of Harmony would find new bearers in time and overthrow me for a third time. I’m getting SO tired of being a statue.
Rarity: So what do you intend to do?
Discord: Nothing.
Twilight: ...nothing?
Discord: Nothing. I’ll probably just head off into the Everfree Forest and make my home in the old castle there. Unpredictable weather, unregulated plant and animal life, complete lack of structure... what better place for me than there?
Dash: So... you’ll just stay there and not bother anypony?
Discord: And miss out on the opportunity to play a few tricks on the unsuspecting populace? On your precious rulers? I can refrain from causing outright chaos, but I still need a little bit of mischief.
AJ: We’re not gonna let that happen! And once we get outta here and grab the Elements, we’re gonna-
Fluttershy: Relax, Applejack.
AJ: Why should ah?
Fluttershy: You heard him. He just wants to live his life and not be bothered. Doesn’t he have the right to do that if he wants to?
Dash: But he tried to take over Equestria!
Fallen: Yeah, and you already punished him for that. Why punish him twice for the same crime?
Rarity: There is... logic in what he says.
Twilight: Alright then. Discord, if you really want to just live in the Everfree Forest without anypony else around to bother you, we won’t try to stop you. But if you make another move for the throne... we won’t think twice about trying to stop you again.
Discord: I would only dream of it, my dear.
Pinkie: OOH! Do you think you could visit me sometimes?
Twilight: Wait, why would you even WANT him to?
Fallen: Twilight... this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. She may as well be the Megatronus Prime to Discord’s Unicron.
Twilight: ...what?
Fallen: She’s just as nonsensical and, yes, chaotic as Discord sometimes, just with less manipulating reality. Really, she just... warps it a bit. They’re a match made in heaven.
Pinkie: Yep! So what do you say?
Discord: I suppose I could try. It sounds like it may be fun! For now, though, I’ll retire to Everfree and make myself at home. Have fun suffering this story, everypony!
(With a snap of his fingers, Discord vanishes.)
Fallen: I get the feeling I haven’t seen the last of him. ESPECIALLY not if he’s going to be hanging out with Pinkie.
Pinkie: Hey, yeah! He could help me with these riffs!
Fallen: And I think we’re all doomed if he does...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Pinkie: Hiya, Discord!
Discord: I refuse to speak to any of you ponies. Not after you imprisoned me in stone AGAIN.
Pinkie: But-
Fallen: I don’t even know why you tried, Pinkie, but you should stop. How are you even free, Discord?
Discord: Isn’t it obvious? This story you’ve found is the perfect mess! Its plot is in shambles, its characters don’t behave as they should, its hero is a fearsome force of monotony, and it may as well be written in its own imagined language! I’ve never seen such sweet chaos in all my life, and it was enough to free me once again from my bonds!
Twilight: Which we can stick you right back into!
Discord: Oh, please. I got rusty after spending millennia in that prison the first time. I still haven’t lost my touch after last time, so I doubt you could do anything. Perhaps if some new ponies collected the Elements of Harmony... but now I know how it works with the six of you. For all you know, I could have a way to counter it!
AJ: I thought ya weren’t gonna talk to us.
Discord: Did you really take me to be a man of my word?
Dash: He’s got you there.
Rarity: State your business, you foul creature.
Discord: Such hostility! What did I ever do to you?
Rarity: I could compile an extensive list for you.
Discord: Have fun with that. Well, when I first got free, I immediately figured I’d come back to take over again. I’m sure it would have been far easier. Plus, third time’s the charm, right?
Pinkie: So what happened to that?
Twilight: He never said he wasn’t still going to.
Pinkie: It was the WAY he said it! There’s a “but” there somewhere!
Discord: Indeed there is.
Fluttershy: You mean... you want to do something other than plunge the world into chaos?
Discord: It hardly seems worth it at this point. Even if you six can’t stop me this time, there will be others who can and almost certainly will. Celestia and Luna have most likely grown stronger as well in my absence.
Fallen: Well, actually-
Discord: Yes, I know, the younger sibling’s exile. The point is, they’ve both grown. They may be able to defeat me as well.
Fallen: But they didn’t even try when you came back last time.
Discord: Hm... interesting point... but even if I could and did defeat them, the Elements of Harmony would find new bearers in time and overthrow me for a third time. I’m getting SO tired of being a statue.
Rarity: So what do you intend to do?
Discord: Nothing.
Twilight: ...nothing?
Discord: Nothing. I’ll probably just head off into the Everfree Forest and make my home in the old castle there. Unpredictable weather, unregulated plant and animal life, complete lack of structure... what better place for me than there?
Dash: So... you’ll just stay there and not bother anypony?
Discord: And miss out on the opportunity to play a few tricks on the unsuspecting populace? On your precious rulers? I can refrain from causing outright chaos, but I still need a little bit of mischief.
AJ: We’re not gonna let that happen! And once we get outta here and grab the Elements, we’re gonna-
Fluttershy: Relax, Applejack.
AJ: Why should ah?
Fluttershy: You heard him. He just wants to live his life and not be bothered. Doesn’t he have the right to do that if he wants to?
Dash: But he tried to take over Equestria!
Fallen: Yeah, and you already punished him for that. Why punish him twice for the same crime?
Rarity: There is... logic in what he says.
Twilight: Alright then. Discord, if you really want to just live in the Everfree Forest without anypony else around to bother you, we won’t try to stop you. But if you make another move for the throne... we won’t think twice about trying to stop you again.
Discord: I would only dream of it, my dear.
Pinkie: OOH! Do you think you could visit me sometimes?
Twilight: Wait, why would you even WANT him to?
Fallen: Twilight... this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. She may as well be the Megatronus Prime to Discord’s Unicron.
Twilight: ...what?
Fallen: She’s just as nonsensical and, yes, chaotic as Discord sometimes, just with less manipulating reality. Really, she just... warps it a bit. They’re a match made in heaven.
Pinkie: Yep! So what do you say?
Discord: I suppose I could try. It sounds like it may be fun! For now, though, I’ll retire to Everfree and make myself at home. Have fun suffering this story, everypony!
(With a snap of his fingers, Discord vanishes.)
Fallen: I get the feeling I haven’t seen the last of him. ESPECIALLY not if he’s going to be hanging out with Pinkie.
Pinkie: Hey, yeah! He could help me with these riffs!
Fallen: And I think we’re all doomed if he does...
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
when we came back to the library spike was super angry pissed. and he hurld the letter thru the door.
Rarity: I cannot imagine it got very far, unless he’d crumpled it up before throwing it.
fucking here is your letter bitch i hope you are happy interrupting me and prince martin willis having good sex at fluttershys he screamed.
Dash: I thought Princess Celestia sent the letter, though.
Twilight: She’s the only one who CAN. Spike’s flames are only linked between himself and her.
Twilight stared annoyed at him then blasted hate at me because i was having sex without her.
Twilight: Of course I did! But that’s not even what’s bothering me. Why am I mad about him sleeping with Fluttershy and Applejack, but not about him sleeping with Rarity!?
reading the rolled scroll with magic she was struck with sadness. it is fucking terrible news twilight shouted at her highest and ran to me for a hug.
Fallen: If it’s that Martin has an STD and spread it to everypony he screwed, I will murder his entire bloodline.
i wrapped my legs around her to comfort her when suddenly before twilight could finish her thought…
Pinkie: He exploded! Twice!
celest appeared! And she was beautiful and panicked.
Fluttershy: She... panicked because she’s beautiful?
twilight we are going to be screwed someone has freed discord and he is making the world crazy again but he is leaving to get an army first to kill all of us ponies!
AJ: Wait, he’s raisin’ an army!?
Dash: I’m so glad we got him out of here before we started again. I don’t want to give him any ideas.
we wept with shock and I smacked the air with angrous intent.
yeah i know she wept loudly with terrible rel problem.
Rarity: …“terrible rel?”
Fallen: It’s better to not try and process that.
fucking basterd should learn not to come and attack us after we defeated him last time.
Twilight: Why is everypony swearing so much in this story? Especially in front of PRINCESS CELESTIA?
Pinkie: I think that WAS Princess Celestia.
Twilight: WHAT!?
i walked all concern to celest and hugged her till she was steady massaging her back while i did.
Fallen: Goddammit. He’s Stu-ing all over royalty now.
We will get him back to stone i will think of something
Dash: I already did. Elements of Harmony.
i am a prince and am probably the most powerful thing here since the portle dropped me.
Rarity: What could possibly have led to that conclusion!?
you are retarted but nice
Fluttershy: She’s half right.
Pinkie: WHOA! I never thought you’d say that, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: This story deserves it.
Dash: NOW you get it!
she wept against me because he has a secret weapon of chaos that will make us all cringe.
AJ: ‘Cuz cringin’ is worse than eternal chaos.
Fallen: Just be careful he doesn’t make you flinch too.
i kissed her to steady her and twilight let me because it was a tense situation. but without a second moment celest began to change.
Dash: If she’s turning into a fighter jet, I’m leaving.
what the fuck no it cant be! celest grew big eyes and pulling me from herself pointed into my cutie mark.
Rarity: That sounds uncomfortably painful.
Twilight: Good.
that is the PORTAL gun that is making all of these issues and that discord now has in his hands and is making weapon of.
Pinkie: You can’t use a broken portal gun, silly!
Fluttershy: So Martin’s the reason all this is happening?
Fallen: I can’t even be surprised at that.
i promise i did not free him i defended and pleaded and twilight agreed with nodding so the princess believed me after a few tense stares.
AJ: Why’d they let him off the hook that easy? Why don’t they ask him questions or somethin’ to make him prove it?
i grew concerned and hugged her again getting excited cause she was hot but secretely I was all worried once more.
Rarity: He’s... aroused by his own worry?
Pinkie: Hey, it could happen!
there was only one real working PORTAL game gun in all of my world and i had brought it with me when i fell through the portle to meet twilight by accident and it broke
Pinkie: See? It’s broken!
Dash: Does that even have anything to do with anything at this point in the game?
so i trashed it since i had the cute mark anyway.
AJ: But his cutie mark ain’t a workin’ gun!
either discord fixed my gun and brought it to life once again for evil intent
Fallen: Implying that the portal gun was ever alive in the first place.
or he was a devil dealer who sold his scary soul for another one after seeing mine trashed!
Twilight: I’m not even entirely sure Discord HAS a soul.
Fluttershy: TWILIGHT!
for now i squeezed celests plot and told her to be cool and i would stop him later when i assembled the mane six.
Rarity: He needed to reattach the heads and legs, as well as applying the cutie mark stickers...
she nodded pleased with my knowledge on the issue and we made out. then i began to lie her on her back and rub her place so we could make love.
AJ: Nopony should ever have to see that.
do not have sex with her! it was twilight and she was madder than before.
Dash: And considering her boyfriend’s been sleeping around, I can’t blame her.
Fallen: On top of it being her teacher and mentor now, yeah.
but twilight i said whimpering she is stressed and this will make her worryless i still will always love you most.
Fallen: Why do you keep talking as if Pinkie Pie ISN’T best pony?
shut the fuck up traitor!
Twilight: I would LOVE to see him get executed for treason. But we don’t have executions, so...
she raised her hoofs to the sky and cried tears exstaticly .
Fluttershy: Wait, so is she angry or happy?
everyone just chill and stop fighting cried spike with smoke and he ran to his room to sleep away from our fight with the owl if it was home.
AJ: At least he’s outta the sex scene.
Pinkie: Oh yeah, Owlowiscious is in this!
Rarity: I would have expected him to make an effort to separate the fighting parties.
twilight please i was going to continue to argue when celest broke in.
Dash: I never thought Princess Celestia would be into home invasion.
twilight i fucking order you to let us make out
Twilight: NO!!!
and dont be a bitch to willis because he is only doing this to help you and aquestria.
Fallen: Well... at least it’s closer to “Equestria” than last time?
he is going to have to fight discord later so this is nothing. twilight then nodded in understandment
Fluttershy: Everything about this story is wrong...
but with magic pushed me away selfishly and made out with celest on her own and they both touched their female horse parts and boobs.
Twilight: ALL OF MY HATE!
i got turned on so i let myself into celest and we made love.
AJ: Ah’m gettin’ tired of this.
Dash: Join the club, pal.
Pinkie: OOH! Can I join too?
i ran my hands through her silk sun mane and tickled her butt cheeks and we all had an orgasm.
Fluttershy: That’s... new...
then celest kissed twilight down there and i screwed twilight and we all had a second orgasm.
Pinkie: Why did Celestia have an orgasm if it was all Martin and Twilight?
later after everyone was satisfied i kissed twilight. i will never cheat on you i said
Fallen: Bullshit.
only that i will help your friends feel good if they need it.
Fallen: Still bullshit.
she nodded satisfied at last with my caring and we made love once more in secret while celest slept.
Pinkie: But she woke up really quickly because Twilight screams like a banshee!
Twilight: PINKIE PIE!
then she faded out to sleep.
Rarity: That almost sounds as if she’s slipping into a coma.
i stayed up deeply in a trance of thought and fear.
AJ: Looks like Zecora IS puttin’ ponies in trances.
Pinkie: Just like my song!
AJ: ...yeah, that’s what ah was gettin’ at.
i need to do what i can do to stop discord since this is my fault and i brought the gun from PORTAL through the portle
Fluttershy: I’m starting to think the author is doing that on purpose.
and trashed it in a stupid way.
Rarity: He should have taken off and nuked the site from orbit. The only way to be sure.
Fallen: Rarity, you sly dog! That was an Aliens reference!
Rarity: What can I say? It was a stellar film.
feeling myself begin to lose consciossness i quit thinking and prepared for tomorrow
Dash: Shouldn’t he be thinking even a LITTLE bit if he’s preparing?
Rarity: You still assume he is capable of thought?
and getting all the mane six here and my upcoming fight with the king of evil weird.
Twilight: Is “chaos” really that hard to say?
next chapter i will assemble
Fallen: The Avengers?
all of the mane six
Fallen: Aw. I was hoping Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo could save this thing.
Twilight: ...who?
Fallen: Oh, I HAVE to show you that movie.
and we will prepare to face discord also i will learn all of my powers.
AJ: POWERS!?
Rarity: I believe it’s time for another intermission.
Rarity: I cannot imagine it got very far, unless he’d crumpled it up before throwing it.
fucking here is your letter bitch i hope you are happy interrupting me and prince martin willis having good sex at fluttershys he screamed.
Dash: I thought Princess Celestia sent the letter, though.
Twilight: She’s the only one who CAN. Spike’s flames are only linked between himself and her.
Twilight stared annoyed at him then blasted hate at me because i was having sex without her.
Twilight: Of course I did! But that’s not even what’s bothering me. Why am I mad about him sleeping with Fluttershy and Applejack, but not about him sleeping with Rarity!?
reading the rolled scroll with magic she was struck with sadness. it is fucking terrible news twilight shouted at her highest and ran to me for a hug.
Fallen: If it’s that Martin has an STD and spread it to everypony he screwed, I will murder his entire bloodline.
i wrapped my legs around her to comfort her when suddenly before twilight could finish her thought…
Pinkie: He exploded! Twice!
celest appeared! And she was beautiful and panicked.
Fluttershy: She... panicked because she’s beautiful?
twilight we are going to be screwed someone has freed discord and he is making the world crazy again but he is leaving to get an army first to kill all of us ponies!
AJ: Wait, he’s raisin’ an army!?
Dash: I’m so glad we got him out of here before we started again. I don’t want to give him any ideas.
we wept with shock and I smacked the air with angrous intent.
yeah i know she wept loudly with terrible rel problem.
Rarity: …“terrible rel?”
Fallen: It’s better to not try and process that.
fucking basterd should learn not to come and attack us after we defeated him last time.
Twilight: Why is everypony swearing so much in this story? Especially in front of PRINCESS CELESTIA?
Pinkie: I think that WAS Princess Celestia.
Twilight: WHAT!?
i walked all concern to celest and hugged her till she was steady massaging her back while i did.
Fallen: Goddammit. He’s Stu-ing all over royalty now.
We will get him back to stone i will think of something
Dash: I already did. Elements of Harmony.
i am a prince and am probably the most powerful thing here since the portle dropped me.
Rarity: What could possibly have led to that conclusion!?
you are retarted but nice
Fluttershy: She’s half right.
Pinkie: WHOA! I never thought you’d say that, Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: This story deserves it.
Dash: NOW you get it!
she wept against me because he has a secret weapon of chaos that will make us all cringe.
AJ: ‘Cuz cringin’ is worse than eternal chaos.
Fallen: Just be careful he doesn’t make you flinch too.
i kissed her to steady her and twilight let me because it was a tense situation. but without a second moment celest began to change.
Dash: If she’s turning into a fighter jet, I’m leaving.
what the fuck no it cant be! celest grew big eyes and pulling me from herself pointed into my cutie mark.
Rarity: That sounds uncomfortably painful.
Twilight: Good.
that is the PORTAL gun that is making all of these issues and that discord now has in his hands and is making weapon of.
Pinkie: You can’t use a broken portal gun, silly!
Fluttershy: So Martin’s the reason all this is happening?
Fallen: I can’t even be surprised at that.
i promise i did not free him i defended and pleaded and twilight agreed with nodding so the princess believed me after a few tense stares.
AJ: Why’d they let him off the hook that easy? Why don’t they ask him questions or somethin’ to make him prove it?
i grew concerned and hugged her again getting excited cause she was hot but secretely I was all worried once more.
Rarity: He’s... aroused by his own worry?
Pinkie: Hey, it could happen!
there was only one real working PORTAL game gun in all of my world and i had brought it with me when i fell through the portle to meet twilight by accident and it broke
Pinkie: See? It’s broken!
Dash: Does that even have anything to do with anything at this point in the game?
so i trashed it since i had the cute mark anyway.
AJ: But his cutie mark ain’t a workin’ gun!
either discord fixed my gun and brought it to life once again for evil intent
Fallen: Implying that the portal gun was ever alive in the first place.
or he was a devil dealer who sold his scary soul for another one after seeing mine trashed!
Twilight: I’m not even entirely sure Discord HAS a soul.
Fluttershy: TWILIGHT!
for now i squeezed celests plot and told her to be cool and i would stop him later when i assembled the mane six.
Rarity: He needed to reattach the heads and legs, as well as applying the cutie mark stickers...
she nodded pleased with my knowledge on the issue and we made out. then i began to lie her on her back and rub her place so we could make love.
AJ: Nopony should ever have to see that.
do not have sex with her! it was twilight and she was madder than before.
Dash: And considering her boyfriend’s been sleeping around, I can’t blame her.
Fallen: On top of it being her teacher and mentor now, yeah.
but twilight i said whimpering she is stressed and this will make her worryless i still will always love you most.
Fallen: Why do you keep talking as if Pinkie Pie ISN’T best pony?
shut the fuck up traitor!
Twilight: I would LOVE to see him get executed for treason. But we don’t have executions, so...
she raised her hoofs to the sky and cried tears exstaticly .
Fluttershy: Wait, so is she angry or happy?
everyone just chill and stop fighting cried spike with smoke and he ran to his room to sleep away from our fight with the owl if it was home.
AJ: At least he’s outta the sex scene.
Pinkie: Oh yeah, Owlowiscious is in this!
Rarity: I would have expected him to make an effort to separate the fighting parties.
twilight please i was going to continue to argue when celest broke in.
Dash: I never thought Princess Celestia would be into home invasion.
twilight i fucking order you to let us make out
Twilight: NO!!!
and dont be a bitch to willis because he is only doing this to help you and aquestria.
Fallen: Well... at least it’s closer to “Equestria” than last time?
he is going to have to fight discord later so this is nothing. twilight then nodded in understandment
Fluttershy: Everything about this story is wrong...
but with magic pushed me away selfishly and made out with celest on her own and they both touched their female horse parts and boobs.
Twilight: ALL OF MY HATE!
i got turned on so i let myself into celest and we made love.
AJ: Ah’m gettin’ tired of this.
Dash: Join the club, pal.
Pinkie: OOH! Can I join too?
i ran my hands through her silk sun mane and tickled her butt cheeks and we all had an orgasm.
Fluttershy: That’s... new...
then celest kissed twilight down there and i screwed twilight and we all had a second orgasm.
Pinkie: Why did Celestia have an orgasm if it was all Martin and Twilight?
later after everyone was satisfied i kissed twilight. i will never cheat on you i said
Fallen: Bullshit.
only that i will help your friends feel good if they need it.
Fallen: Still bullshit.
she nodded satisfied at last with my caring and we made love once more in secret while celest slept.
Pinkie: But she woke up really quickly because Twilight screams like a banshee!
Twilight: PINKIE PIE!
then she faded out to sleep.
Rarity: That almost sounds as if she’s slipping into a coma.
i stayed up deeply in a trance of thought and fear.
AJ: Looks like Zecora IS puttin’ ponies in trances.
Pinkie: Just like my song!
AJ: ...yeah, that’s what ah was gettin’ at.
i need to do what i can do to stop discord since this is my fault and i brought the gun from PORTAL through the portle
Fluttershy: I’m starting to think the author is doing that on purpose.
and trashed it in a stupid way.
Rarity: He should have taken off and nuked the site from orbit. The only way to be sure.
Fallen: Rarity, you sly dog! That was an Aliens reference!
Rarity: What can I say? It was a stellar film.
feeling myself begin to lose consciossness i quit thinking and prepared for tomorrow
Dash: Shouldn’t he be thinking even a LITTLE bit if he’s preparing?
Rarity: You still assume he is capable of thought?
and getting all the mane six here and my upcoming fight with the king of evil weird.
Twilight: Is “chaos” really that hard to say?
next chapter i will assemble
Fallen: The Avengers?
all of the mane six
Fallen: Aw. I was hoping Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo could save this thing.
Twilight: ...who?
Fallen: Oh, I HAVE to show you that movie.
and we will prepare to face discord also i will learn all of my powers.
AJ: POWERS!?
Rarity: I believe it’s time for another intermission.
AJ: POWERS!?
Fallen: Powers. Applejack, you just read “Return of the changeling’s” not long ago. The concept of retardedly ludicrous abilities is not alien to you.
AJ: That don’t mean ah like it anymore here.
Rarity: What could this possibly entail for somepony like Martin Willis?
Fallen: I don’t know, but I doubt it’s anything worse than what I’ve seen.
Dash: Oh, really? And what HAVE you seen?
Fallen: Countless pegasi with the ability to shatter the sound barrier and create sonic booms at speeds equal to or greater than yours.
Dash: Eugh.
Fallen: A number of OCs with evil personalities.
Pinkie: Like Darkdrome7’s?
Fallen: We don’t use that name in this compound.
Pinkie: Oh, sorry.
Fallen: And that’s not even counting all the ones that are able to use weaponry.
Fluttershy: Well...
Fallen: Exception. And when the OC is a brony, you can count having prior knowledge of the world around them and the ponies they meet.
Twilight: That’s less of a power and more... just creepy.
Fallen: And you know what? I’m going to count this whole seventh-Element bullshit that’s somehow a trend.
Pinkie: Funny you should say-
Fallen: I KNOW ABOUT MARTIN WILLIS TWO. And once it’s complete, I’ll make you all read THAT too.
Fluttershy: There’s a sequel!?
Fallen: Oh, yes there is. The day of its release was a day of many stunning revelations. Some not even related to the content of the story itself.
Rarity: Like...?
Fallen: If I told you that, I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.
Dash: You don't mean that... do you?
Fallen: I don't think you want to try me.
Pinkie: Come on, Primey! Can't you even give us a hint?
Fallen: Nope. It'd ruin it.
Twilight: Well, at any rate, I think we're just about halfway done with the story. You said there were only seven chapters, right?
AJ: "Only" seven?
Fallen: Yeah, we're getting there. I still haven't really seen the last few chapters before now, but skimming the fifth tells me we're in some deep shit.
Fluttershy: You're doing this, but you haven't even read it first?
Fallen: Duh. It's more fun if you don't know what's coming. It makes my reactions more genuine.
AJ: Ah don't blame ya with this one.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!
Fallen: Powers. Applejack, you just read “Return of the changeling’s” not long ago. The concept of retardedly ludicrous abilities is not alien to you.
AJ: That don’t mean ah like it anymore here.
Rarity: What could this possibly entail for somepony like Martin Willis?
Fallen: I don’t know, but I doubt it’s anything worse than what I’ve seen.
Dash: Oh, really? And what HAVE you seen?
Fallen: Countless pegasi with the ability to shatter the sound barrier and create sonic booms at speeds equal to or greater than yours.
Dash: Eugh.
Fallen: A number of OCs with evil personalities.
Pinkie: Like Darkdrome7’s?
Fallen: We don’t use that name in this compound.
Pinkie: Oh, sorry.
Fallen: And that’s not even counting all the ones that are able to use weaponry.
Fluttershy: Well...
Fallen: Exception. And when the OC is a brony, you can count having prior knowledge of the world around them and the ponies they meet.
Twilight: That’s less of a power and more... just creepy.
Fallen: And you know what? I’m going to count this whole seventh-Element bullshit that’s somehow a trend.
Pinkie: Funny you should say-
Fallen: I KNOW ABOUT MARTIN WILLIS TWO. And once it’s complete, I’ll make you all read THAT too.
Fluttershy: There’s a sequel!?
Fallen: Oh, yes there is. The day of its release was a day of many stunning revelations. Some not even related to the content of the story itself.
Rarity: Like...?
Fallen: If I told you that, I’m afraid I’d have to kill you.
Dash: You don't mean that... do you?
Fallen: I don't think you want to try me.
Pinkie: Come on, Primey! Can't you even give us a hint?
Fallen: Nope. It'd ruin it.
Twilight: Well, at any rate, I think we're just about halfway done with the story. You said there were only seven chapters, right?
AJ: "Only" seven?
Fallen: Yeah, we're getting there. I still haven't really seen the last few chapters before now, but skimming the fifth tells me we're in some deep shit.
Fluttershy: You're doing this, but you haven't even read it first?
Fallen: Duh. It's more fun if you don't know what's coming. It makes my reactions more genuine.
AJ: Ah don't blame ya with this one.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!
celest was still cynicallee depressed when she woke us up the next day
Rarity: Because cynicism and depression are intrinsically linked.
but she was eased by my quick love.
Twilight: If I take that to mean he has pathetic stamina, I don't get as mad.
we must assemble the mane six she spoke in a very loud voice
Fluttershy: Why is Princess Celestia calling us the "mane six?"
Fallen: I'm just pissed that it's taunting me with the word "assemble." At least give us Hawkeye!
but her hoofs stayed silent on the table while she worked through the idea of our plan to defeat the discord.
Fallen: The Hellements of Armory?
Rarity: ...beg pardon?
Fallen: Nothing. Guess you had to be there.
i will magic summon them here said twilight sexily waving her plot in front of my face
Dash: I don't know how seducing him helps anything.
Twilight: And I'm pretty sure it's called teleportation.
and her horn lit up and she called to spike and dragged him across his but into the room.
Fluttershy: What was stopping her from just calling him?
Fallen: The fact that she's now a nymphomaniac with no regard for anyone around her.
fucking go get my spellbook on sumoning the mane six here so that we may let them know we are in horrible trouble!
AJ: Is she summonin' herself too?
spike rubbed at his scaled tail. fucking next time just yell bitch i was already in the fucking library and this is how you treat me!
Rarity: At least the story faults Twilight for her abusive behavior.
he breathed fire at her face to teach her a lesson and walked away mumbling.
Twilight: Can I just kill this story? In the face?
Fallen: Sawblades are by the door.
when he returned we all made love real quick to ease our fear and nervousnes
AJ: Is that all he thinks about?
Fallen: If he did it as often as the story tries to make it look like, it would be painful just to get an erection.
and twilight let me put it in her but while spike messed around with celest.
Pinkie: Talk about casual sex! These scenes are practically footnotes!
i am now going to summon them like crazy and hope for the best said twilight while running a hoof through the book and she began to chant and snort and lark at the air.
Twilight: How exactly does the author think magic works?
suddenly all the mane six were poofed to the living room and… they were naked!
Fluttershy: How is that important? We don't even wear clothing on a regular basis.
it is fucking terrible news everyone of element celest wept dearly. because discord is free and we will be screwed
Dash: USE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!
Pinkie: But Discord said-
Dash: He's not being evil right now. They have no excuse to not TRY to use them on the Discord in the story!
only martin has decided to help us and we might win
Fallen: Another Gary Stu warning sign. He has to take on a challenge that the Elements of Harmony and the power of the princess are inexplicably too pathetic for.
but we need to listen to him because only he knows what the weapon of chaos that the discord has is and only he can defeat it
AJ: Actually, that one kinda makes sense. Nopony else knows what a portal gun is or how it works.
Twilight: Yes, but what makes you think HE knows how it works either? He may know how to use it and not know what makes it work.
but he needs your help and the elemnts of harmony and all of your support or it will be worthless
Rarity: Although the Elements ALONE should be enough, and Princess Celestia has no reason to assume they would not.
she breathed heavily and i swatted her plot in good happiness but grave sincerity.
Fallen: How do you solemnly spank someone?
Pinkie: With effort!
rainbow dash who was now wearing a nose ring and boob rings because she had come out
Dash: That’s it! When I find this author, I’m gonna-
Twilight: Cool it, hot shot. There will be time for that when we’re finished.
spoke first freaking dude that is a sick plan she said high fiving herself and fluttershys ear.
Fluttershy: Did she just punch me in the ear!?
Pinkie: Why does this author think lesbians are mean?
we um will do our um best to um help you out um in any fucking um way fluttershy silently yelled.
AJ: Why’s she swearin’ like that? Of all ponies...
Rarity: I’ve long since filtered out all profanity. I won’t allow myself to process it.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ya! said pinkie with the giggles
Fallen: (eye twitches)
Pinkie: That doesn’t sound like me!
we will help all the way with party she played with rainbow dashes nipple rings and both ponies moaned with pleasure.
Rarity: What’s meant to be the source of Pinkie Pie’s stimulation?
only sugarcube eat this apple and how are we supposed to help you defeat discord yall.
AJ: Ah don’t sound like that! That’s what Rainbow sounds like when she’s tryin’ to sound like me!
Dash: Oh, my impression’s not THAT bad!
AJ: You’re right. It’s WORSE.
it is magnifacentlee unbelievably near hopeless swooned rarity grabbing my butt with happiness and licking my cute mark.
Rarity: My words seem to strongly contrast my actions.
Fallen: Or you’re just bipolar as hell.
i almost made out with her but twilight was still pissed at me so i instead just rubbed her boobs.
Twilight: How is that better!?
it says here in my book of the future that i got from the royal library when i time travelled secretly to the past that one time a few episodes ago
Pinkie: Ooh, so she knows too!
Twilight: Pinkie... our lives are on Netflix. I’d never say “episodes” to refer to it, but it’s there.
that a special rare pony will land through a portle and save us but we must charge him up to defet the evil.
Dash: Because that’s how it works. Seems legit.
only she said with the deepest of horrer and worst possible dispare only that it does not say how to charge him.
Fallen: Hook him up to a car battery. That worked for Jason Statham.
this is ridiculas! spike spit flames into the air
AJ: Does Spike do ANYTHIN’ other than spittin’ fire?
and the owl and angel which had come nearby ran away together to the forest. your books are week as fuck twilight.
Rarity: The book does not even belong to her. She retrieved it from the library in Canterlot.
she nodded all sadness and i ran over and kissed her neck and stared into her eyes to comfort her.
Fallen: If he’s Ghost Rider, I quit.
we are probably all fucked i said anguishness.
Pinkie: Not yet, but you will be!
Fluttershy: That’s what I was afraid of...
i have a fucking idea my students celest roared like ancient times and her voice stretched into all of them and shut their worry away!
Twilight: So... the Royal Canterlot Voice? Seriously, why can’t he just use these actual words and terms instead of making up his own?
Prince martin willis i know how to charge you she wrapped a hoof around my balls and i froze with pleasure.
Dash: Does that actually feel good? Because it sounds like it would hurt to get them crushed like that.
your gun was not destroyed when you fell through the portle but only that its powered went to your plot and cutee mark
AJ: It... it IS a workin’ gun!?
Rarity: Somehow this story is finding ways to confuse me even MORE.
and we must all screw to make its power come out and transport you to discord to defeat him and his army at yoru max awesomeness
Rarity: ...and now I’m speechless.
and you will have to use all your special skills you learned in the game PORTAL to kill him.
Fallen: If Martin’s supposed to be a stand-in for Chell, then I’m the Minister of Silly Walks.
twilight gleefully gathered the mane six in a row we must all have a massive orgy in order to power willis up
Twilight: WHAT!?
Fallen: Clop logic. I don’t question it.
she bit her lip and shook her lower parts at me and i was still hard.
Fluttershy: I didn’t want to know that...
i um will do um it fluttershy cried and began to make out with rainbow dash and twilight and i ran with celest to join them.
AJ: This fic’s gonna kill me if ah don’t kill it first.
hahahhahahahahahaha me too shrieked naked pinkie on us all and jumping up hooved all four of us with each of her fott.
Dash: I dare ANY of you to find something right about that sentence.
Fluttershy: ...he spelled “jumping” right?
i knew I brought them there apples fer a reason partner said applejack because this will take a long time then she bucked my but and sent me into twilight
Twilight: Because... physics.
and we had an instant good time.
Pinkie: Just add water!
rarity made out with celest and rainbow dash made out with pinkie who still four hooved everyone and fluttershy got angel bunnyto bring toys
Fallen: Little bunny bastard wouldn’t put the Cobra Commander figure down.
and spike joined in and we had a massive orgy that lasted two weeks nonstop.
Fallen: What's that? Discord's wreaking anarchy and all it brings? It's not important. Ignore it and orgy all over the place!
when it was over i began to get a funny feeling i feel my but glowing i shrieked and grabbed at my cutie mark!
Dash: Sorry, pal. It’s super-glued on there.
it is time for me to go portle through to the portle that discord has created and to defeat him with the power you have given me and then i can win back aquestria for the good of all ponies.
Fallen: "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys". Ah, “Full Life Consequences...”
twilight nodded with eager anten and we started chanting
All: NO MORE APPLE SHORT! NO MORE APPLE SHORT!
and… A PORTLE APPEARED IN THE GROUND AND WE JUMPED IN IT!!!!!!
Fallen: So... Martin’s ass is a warp zone.
suddenly everything was squishy and all the mane six and celest and me we stunned.
Twilight: I’m imagining them all in a giant cluster of jellyfish and getting constantly stung.
fucking show yourself coward evil freak with one nut i stamped and moaned still orgasming from the group sex.
Dash: We did NOT need to know that.
You are the stupidest pony of all prince martin willis
All: Agreed.
came a deep booming voice from everywhere and it sent chills through my spine because you have fallen into my master plan.
AJ: How do ya fall into a plan?
Pinkie: Maybe the plan is a vat of acid!
then a glow appeared and i dreadfully gripped twilight and gulped. i have discovered his plan i spoke wearily we are in his guts and we are trapped!
Fluttershy: How does he automatically know that? Is that... common for him?
there was evil laughter galore and we shook trembled.
AJ: What’s that even feel like? Bein’ inside somepony’s stomach when they’re laughin’?
next chapter i will win discord
Fluttershy: That’s not a very good prize.
and the mane six will help and we will probably go back to twilights house for some apple cider that applejack kindly made for when we defeat him.
Pinkie: Aw, now we know how the next chapter goes! You spoiled it, author's note!
Dash: That means we can quit, right?
Rarity: I fear not.
Fallen: Well, that’s the chapter. Let’s take a break and recover from this.
Rarity: Because cynicism and depression are intrinsically linked.
but she was eased by my quick love.
Twilight: If I take that to mean he has pathetic stamina, I don't get as mad.
we must assemble the mane six she spoke in a very loud voice
Fluttershy: Why is Princess Celestia calling us the "mane six?"
Fallen: I'm just pissed that it's taunting me with the word "assemble." At least give us Hawkeye!
but her hoofs stayed silent on the table while she worked through the idea of our plan to defeat the discord.
Fallen: The Hellements of Armory?
Rarity: ...beg pardon?
Fallen: Nothing. Guess you had to be there.
i will magic summon them here said twilight sexily waving her plot in front of my face
Dash: I don't know how seducing him helps anything.
Twilight: And I'm pretty sure it's called teleportation.
and her horn lit up and she called to spike and dragged him across his but into the room.
Fluttershy: What was stopping her from just calling him?
Fallen: The fact that she's now a nymphomaniac with no regard for anyone around her.
fucking go get my spellbook on sumoning the mane six here so that we may let them know we are in horrible trouble!
AJ: Is she summonin' herself too?
spike rubbed at his scaled tail. fucking next time just yell bitch i was already in the fucking library and this is how you treat me!
Rarity: At least the story faults Twilight for her abusive behavior.
he breathed fire at her face to teach her a lesson and walked away mumbling.
Twilight: Can I just kill this story? In the face?
Fallen: Sawblades are by the door.
when he returned we all made love real quick to ease our fear and nervousnes
AJ: Is that all he thinks about?
Fallen: If he did it as often as the story tries to make it look like, it would be painful just to get an erection.
and twilight let me put it in her but while spike messed around with celest.
Pinkie: Talk about casual sex! These scenes are practically footnotes!
i am now going to summon them like crazy and hope for the best said twilight while running a hoof through the book and she began to chant and snort and lark at the air.
Twilight: How exactly does the author think magic works?
suddenly all the mane six were poofed to the living room and… they were naked!
Fluttershy: How is that important? We don't even wear clothing on a regular basis.
it is fucking terrible news everyone of element celest wept dearly. because discord is free and we will be screwed
Dash: USE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY!
Pinkie: But Discord said-
Dash: He's not being evil right now. They have no excuse to not TRY to use them on the Discord in the story!
only martin has decided to help us and we might win
Fallen: Another Gary Stu warning sign. He has to take on a challenge that the Elements of Harmony and the power of the princess are inexplicably too pathetic for.
but we need to listen to him because only he knows what the weapon of chaos that the discord has is and only he can defeat it
AJ: Actually, that one kinda makes sense. Nopony else knows what a portal gun is or how it works.
Twilight: Yes, but what makes you think HE knows how it works either? He may know how to use it and not know what makes it work.
but he needs your help and the elemnts of harmony and all of your support or it will be worthless
Rarity: Although the Elements ALONE should be enough, and Princess Celestia has no reason to assume they would not.
she breathed heavily and i swatted her plot in good happiness but grave sincerity.
Fallen: How do you solemnly spank someone?
Pinkie: With effort!
rainbow dash who was now wearing a nose ring and boob rings because she had come out
Dash: That’s it! When I find this author, I’m gonna-
Twilight: Cool it, hot shot. There will be time for that when we’re finished.
spoke first freaking dude that is a sick plan she said high fiving herself and fluttershys ear.
Fluttershy: Did she just punch me in the ear!?
Pinkie: Why does this author think lesbians are mean?
we um will do our um best to um help you out um in any fucking um way fluttershy silently yelled.
AJ: Why’s she swearin’ like that? Of all ponies...
Rarity: I’ve long since filtered out all profanity. I won’t allow myself to process it.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ya! said pinkie with the giggles
Fallen: (eye twitches)
Pinkie: That doesn’t sound like me!
we will help all the way with party she played with rainbow dashes nipple rings and both ponies moaned with pleasure.
Rarity: What’s meant to be the source of Pinkie Pie’s stimulation?
only sugarcube eat this apple and how are we supposed to help you defeat discord yall.
AJ: Ah don’t sound like that! That’s what Rainbow sounds like when she’s tryin’ to sound like me!
Dash: Oh, my impression’s not THAT bad!
AJ: You’re right. It’s WORSE.
it is magnifacentlee unbelievably near hopeless swooned rarity grabbing my butt with happiness and licking my cute mark.
Rarity: My words seem to strongly contrast my actions.
Fallen: Or you’re just bipolar as hell.
i almost made out with her but twilight was still pissed at me so i instead just rubbed her boobs.
Twilight: How is that better!?
it says here in my book of the future that i got from the royal library when i time travelled secretly to the past that one time a few episodes ago
Pinkie: Ooh, so she knows too!
Twilight: Pinkie... our lives are on Netflix. I’d never say “episodes” to refer to it, but it’s there.
that a special rare pony will land through a portle and save us but we must charge him up to defet the evil.
Dash: Because that’s how it works. Seems legit.
only she said with the deepest of horrer and worst possible dispare only that it does not say how to charge him.
Fallen: Hook him up to a car battery. That worked for Jason Statham.
this is ridiculas! spike spit flames into the air
AJ: Does Spike do ANYTHIN’ other than spittin’ fire?
and the owl and angel which had come nearby ran away together to the forest. your books are week as fuck twilight.
Rarity: The book does not even belong to her. She retrieved it from the library in Canterlot.
she nodded all sadness and i ran over and kissed her neck and stared into her eyes to comfort her.
Fallen: If he’s Ghost Rider, I quit.
we are probably all fucked i said anguishness.
Pinkie: Not yet, but you will be!
Fluttershy: That’s what I was afraid of...
i have a fucking idea my students celest roared like ancient times and her voice stretched into all of them and shut their worry away!
Twilight: So... the Royal Canterlot Voice? Seriously, why can’t he just use these actual words and terms instead of making up his own?
Prince martin willis i know how to charge you she wrapped a hoof around my balls and i froze with pleasure.
Dash: Does that actually feel good? Because it sounds like it would hurt to get them crushed like that.
your gun was not destroyed when you fell through the portle but only that its powered went to your plot and cutee mark
AJ: It... it IS a workin’ gun!?
Rarity: Somehow this story is finding ways to confuse me even MORE.
and we must all screw to make its power come out and transport you to discord to defeat him and his army at yoru max awesomeness
Rarity: ...and now I’m speechless.
and you will have to use all your special skills you learned in the game PORTAL to kill him.
Fallen: If Martin’s supposed to be a stand-in for Chell, then I’m the Minister of Silly Walks.
twilight gleefully gathered the mane six in a row we must all have a massive orgy in order to power willis up
Twilight: WHAT!?
Fallen: Clop logic. I don’t question it.
she bit her lip and shook her lower parts at me and i was still hard.
Fluttershy: I didn’t want to know that...
i um will do um it fluttershy cried and began to make out with rainbow dash and twilight and i ran with celest to join them.
AJ: This fic’s gonna kill me if ah don’t kill it first.
hahahhahahahahahaha me too shrieked naked pinkie on us all and jumping up hooved all four of us with each of her fott.
Dash: I dare ANY of you to find something right about that sentence.
Fluttershy: ...he spelled “jumping” right?
i knew I brought them there apples fer a reason partner said applejack because this will take a long time then she bucked my but and sent me into twilight
Twilight: Because... physics.
and we had an instant good time.
Pinkie: Just add water!
rarity made out with celest and rainbow dash made out with pinkie who still four hooved everyone and fluttershy got angel bunnyto bring toys
Fallen: Little bunny bastard wouldn’t put the Cobra Commander figure down.
and spike joined in and we had a massive orgy that lasted two weeks nonstop.
Fallen: What's that? Discord's wreaking anarchy and all it brings? It's not important. Ignore it and orgy all over the place!
when it was over i began to get a funny feeling i feel my but glowing i shrieked and grabbed at my cutie mark!
Dash: Sorry, pal. It’s super-glued on there.
it is time for me to go portle through to the portle that discord has created and to defeat him with the power you have given me and then i can win back aquestria for the good of all ponies.
Fallen: "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys". Ah, “Full Life Consequences...”
twilight nodded with eager anten and we started chanting
All: NO MORE APPLE SHORT! NO MORE APPLE SHORT!
and… A PORTLE APPEARED IN THE GROUND AND WE JUMPED IN IT!!!!!!
Fallen: So... Martin’s ass is a warp zone.
suddenly everything was squishy and all the mane six and celest and me we stunned.
Twilight: I’m imagining them all in a giant cluster of jellyfish and getting constantly stung.
fucking show yourself coward evil freak with one nut i stamped and moaned still orgasming from the group sex.
Dash: We did NOT need to know that.
You are the stupidest pony of all prince martin willis
All: Agreed.
came a deep booming voice from everywhere and it sent chills through my spine because you have fallen into my master plan.
AJ: How do ya fall into a plan?
Pinkie: Maybe the plan is a vat of acid!
then a glow appeared and i dreadfully gripped twilight and gulped. i have discovered his plan i spoke wearily we are in his guts and we are trapped!
Fluttershy: How does he automatically know that? Is that... common for him?
there was evil laughter galore and we shook trembled.
AJ: What’s that even feel like? Bein’ inside somepony’s stomach when they’re laughin’?
next chapter i will win discord
Fluttershy: That’s not a very good prize.
and the mane six will help and we will probably go back to twilights house for some apple cider that applejack kindly made for when we defeat him.
Pinkie: Aw, now we know how the next chapter goes! You spoiled it, author's note!
Dash: That means we can quit, right?
Rarity: I fear not.
Fallen: Well, that’s the chapter. Let’s take a break and recover from this.
Fallen: I can’t believe it, but this story’s making Martin Willis WORSE than he already was.
Twilight: I know. I didn’t think it was possible, but I just... I want him to die horribly.
Dash: Took you long enough.
Fallen: Yeah, this is exactly the same issue I had with RawHavoc in “Return of the changeling’s:” he’s sucking in so many common ways AND so many new ones.
AJ: Ugh, that guy. But Martin ain’t an alicorn.
Rarity: I don’t believe the story ever detailed his race, thinking about it.
Fallen: He does still have stripes, though. Which is the most common mistake people make with their OC designs.
Fluttershy: So if that’s so common, how does he does so much NEW wrong?
Fallen: Well, remember what I said about Gary Stus loving to bed the six of you?
Twilight: Yes, unfortunately.
Fallen: This is the first time I’ve ever seen it get turned into a superpower.
Pinkie: Sex is kind of a boring superpower.
Dash: I don’t know about BORING, but it’s definitely not one he can just use whenever he needs it.
Fallen: Just... the fact that his cutie mark actually performs the talent rather than just representing it. That’s what gets me. I’ve actually only ever seen it ONCE, and it was actually in a story I LOVED. Oddly enough, it was also related to Portal. Chell, the protagonist of the games, had been ponified, and it was actually a plot point that her cutie marks were working portals. She didn’t even know it until her climactic fight with GLaDOS, and it didn’t feel stupid or forced.
Fluttershy: But... she didn’t need to power it like this, did she?
Fallen: Oh, good GOD no.
Pinkie: Martin didn’t know he had super sex portal powers either, though!
Twilight: Was that even a sentence?
Fallen: Doesn’t matter. We have an OC here whose special talent A. comes from his cutie mark, B. involves portals, and C. requires a two-week orgy to charge. Please tell me I’m not the only one bothered by that two-week thing.
Rarity: Of course not. It’s absolutely ludicrous for anypony to make love for so long without pause! Especially not in an orgy! Everypony involved would have to have impossible stamina!
Twilight: Not to mention the fact that they’d have to eat and sleep at some point.
AJ: Yeah, but it didn’t say nothin’ ‘bout us takin’ turns in the orgy.
Fluttershy: Why would any of us agree to it in the first place? Especially if Princess Celestia is involved in it?
Dash: AND if there’s no proof that doing it our only hope of beating Discord?
Fallen: You seem to be forgetting the whole Gary Stu issue. By just existing, Martin Willis serves as the death of reason and rational thought. Hence the feeling of your brain cells imploding.
Pinkie: Isn't it the greatest feeling EVER?
Fallen: I'm never going to answer "yes" to that.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!
Twilight: I know. I didn’t think it was possible, but I just... I want him to die horribly.
Dash: Took you long enough.
Fallen: Yeah, this is exactly the same issue I had with RawHavoc in “Return of the changeling’s:” he’s sucking in so many common ways AND so many new ones.
AJ: Ugh, that guy. But Martin ain’t an alicorn.
Rarity: I don’t believe the story ever detailed his race, thinking about it.
Fallen: He does still have stripes, though. Which is the most common mistake people make with their OC designs.
Fluttershy: So if that’s so common, how does he does so much NEW wrong?
Fallen: Well, remember what I said about Gary Stus loving to bed the six of you?
Twilight: Yes, unfortunately.
Fallen: This is the first time I’ve ever seen it get turned into a superpower.
Pinkie: Sex is kind of a boring superpower.
Dash: I don’t know about BORING, but it’s definitely not one he can just use whenever he needs it.
Fallen: Just... the fact that his cutie mark actually performs the talent rather than just representing it. That’s what gets me. I’ve actually only ever seen it ONCE, and it was actually in a story I LOVED. Oddly enough, it was also related to Portal. Chell, the protagonist of the games, had been ponified, and it was actually a plot point that her cutie marks were working portals. She didn’t even know it until her climactic fight with GLaDOS, and it didn’t feel stupid or forced.
Fluttershy: But... she didn’t need to power it like this, did she?
Fallen: Oh, good GOD no.
Pinkie: Martin didn’t know he had super sex portal powers either, though!
Twilight: Was that even a sentence?
Fallen: Doesn’t matter. We have an OC here whose special talent A. comes from his cutie mark, B. involves portals, and C. requires a two-week orgy to charge. Please tell me I’m not the only one bothered by that two-week thing.
Rarity: Of course not. It’s absolutely ludicrous for anypony to make love for so long without pause! Especially not in an orgy! Everypony involved would have to have impossible stamina!
Twilight: Not to mention the fact that they’d have to eat and sleep at some point.
AJ: Yeah, but it didn’t say nothin’ ‘bout us takin’ turns in the orgy.
Fluttershy: Why would any of us agree to it in the first place? Especially if Princess Celestia is involved in it?
Dash: AND if there’s no proof that doing it our only hope of beating Discord?
Fallen: You seem to be forgetting the whole Gary Stu issue. By just existing, Martin Willis serves as the death of reason and rational thought. Hence the feeling of your brain cells imploding.
Pinkie: Isn't it the greatest feeling EVER?
Fallen: I'm never going to answer "yes" to that.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We've got story sign!
we will not be determined by you i screamed radically!
Dash: How can Discord even determine somepony?
my mind was stuck in the middle of scaredacity
Twilight: You didn't lose those tissues, did you, Fallen?
Fallen: I thought you said you'd be fine.
Twilight: I'm not too sure anymore.
if discords portle led straight to his guts it can only mean he chaos tampered the gun that i had owned before i fell into aquestria.
AJ: How's that even work?
Fallen: I just had a fun thought. You need both portals open in order for it to work. That would all be screwed if Discord didn't have the stomach portal open, since they wouldn't be able to go anywhere.
you will fucking regret all of this hero shit prince martin willis
Rarity: As if the readers do not already regret it immensely.
because i have a secret chaotic plan that will make you go pale like swiss cheese or a ghost BWAHAHAHAAHAHA.
Fluttershy: How does cheese work for a paleness comparison?
we all shook and we hugged each other for warmth
Pinkie: I'd have thought it'd be toasty inside his stomach!
and to become less scared of his terrifying inside.
Rarity: I imagine it must look revolting.
Prepare to be scared shitliss martin for you must now face… the stomach and heart and large intestine and short intestine and muscle of the inside of me!
Twilight: This is too nonsensical, even for Discord.
suddenly his guts appeared and they had a billion tenticles or so.
Fallen: Tentacle organs. apple short must watch some REALLY nasty hentai.
they ran like lightening and shot gut juice out of their tentacles and worst of yet they took notice of me celest and the mane six and started to attack.
Fluttershy: I'm just speechless.
sugarcube i dun like to say it but i think we will never make it out of here alive applejack cried while kissing my tail.
AJ: Dagnabbit, stop makin' us sex him up when we're freakin' out!
my but still glowed from the cute mark but i was afraid to shaking.
Fallen: What does that have to do with his ass?
we must attack like a bomb screamed celest with fierce fiery eyes and a glowing red mane that scorched everything that looked at it
Twilight: THE PRINCESS! DOES NOT! WORK THAT WAY!
because now is the time to fuck shit up students.
Fallen: Seeing that dialogue from Princess Celestia brings up fun mental images.
now heed my new order use friendship and kick these guts to death!
Pinkie: This is gonna give "internal bleeding" a whole new meaning!
huzzah everyone screamed with impenetrable will. she filled me with courage and squeezing each others plot we ran forward to kill him from the inside.
Fallen: I swear this is like something out of a Magic School Bus episode.
Dash: What's Magic School Bus?
Fallen: Childhood, my friend.
but suddenly worst than when we had imagined the tentacles began to trap us.
Fallen: You know those times when you end up being proven right, but what you were right about is one of the worst things imaginable? Yeah. That.
they wrapped around our legs and i saw my girlfriend because we made it official twilight sparkle
Twilight: Wait, when did this happen!?
Pinkie: Maybe it was during the giant orgy!
get sucked up in the air by four of them.
Rarity: Are they meant to be vacuum tentacles?
we are fucking getting screwed screamed spike appearing from out of the air with a tentacle in his mouth.
Fluttershy: Then how is he talking?
stepping on one reaching for my plot
Fallen: Is he just organ-raping anything with a heartbeat?
Twilight: How does this even make any biological sense?
i dropped my hands to my hooves
Dash: ...I'm completely lost now.
they had all the ponys tentacle tied and were raping them throung any and every hole.
Fallen: Even ears and nostrils?
pinkie was giggling but i could tell on the inside she was crying
Pinkie: Why wouldn't I just be crying?
Fallen: And how can he tell she's crying behind her laughter?
Twilight: That's not actually much of a stretch, but they say it in a way that makes him sound psychic.
rarity was feinting from the shock of being mouth but and front place raped
Rarity Choking to death on a tentacle sounds much more pleasant than sharing space with this alleged prince.
and applejack and fluttershy were being raped at the same time by the same huge tentacle
AJ: How's that even possible?
Fluttershy: I don't want to know...
and rainbow dash had three in her plot alone.
Dash: That's sick, AND it sounds like it would hurt.
fucking stay away from twilight discord this isnt funny this is rape you sick loser of weird chaos!
Fallen: Considering they're all massive nymphos, I have no idea why they're not enjoying this.
She tearily thanked me and kicked to avoid being impaled through the but.
AJ: They were gonna stab her!?
listen to martin you freak of hate she tore the air with her voice and discords guts trembled momentarily
Fluttershy: Because... organs don't like being yelled at?
because he is a fucking prince and we charged him up so he can portle out of here and kick you in the face!
Fallen: Well, he's a reality-warping lord of chaos who just recovered from petrification, so I don't think a kick to the face is all that threatening.
suddenly celest looked at me and she froze in happiness.
Rarity: Yes, stop moving during a massive confrontation with sentient internal organs. I’m all but certain it will end well for you.
martin she said kicking tentacles away let us kill the guts and you must transport to his face to kill him
AJ: And crushin’ his guts WOULDN’T kill him?
from the eyes by making a portle from his right eye to his left because that way he will be cross eyed and useless.
Twilight: How big does the author think Discord is?
AJ: Almost sounds like he'd cover up a mighty chunk of Sweet Apple Acres.
i eyed my glowing plot wearily but celest i cried with utmost anguish my plot has lost some glow getting here i probably wont have enough.
Pinkie: Just go with the tentacle orgy! It'll power you right back up!
Dash: Stop helping him!
twilight screamed and i cried as four tentacles teased her boobs and below parts.
Fallen: Is the word "pussy" where you draw the line?
fucking i will kick yoru ass if you do not stop this rape discord!
Pinkie: From inside of it? That must feel really weird!
bwahahahahaahaha was all that greete my forine ears.
Twilight: What was that even SUPPOSED to say?
if you really wish to save equestrian we have to have quick sex and power you up yelled celest into my ear.
Fluttershy: Why are you yelling at him if he’s right there?
spike help us get aroused and also hold off the tentacles while we charge him.
Fallen: Or just let them rape you, like Pinkie said. It’s sexual stimulation that fires it up, right? I don’t think his cutie marks will know the difference between rape and consent.
spike nodded grimly and started to lick celests boobs with his tongue
Rarity: As opposed to licking them with his spines?
Pinkie: And this isn’t something you do when you’re all gloomy!
and also he kept the tentacles away and me and celest made the fastest love i could.
Dash: It was over in half a second.
it is working she screamed between my tongue as we kissed and i felt my but glow in response more love she wildly attacked me
Twilight: That’s it. Princess Celestia is hearing about this.
and then yelled now think of his eyes so you get portled there! i thought hard and began having faster sex
Fallen: Gotta go fast!
and just as we kissed and finished i was in the weird evil horse corpse discords face.
Fluttershy: ...weird evil horse corpse? I never thought of it like that, and now that I am, it still sounds wrong.
noooooo he screamed! yes i replied with understanding and began to make the two portles
Fallen: Oh, so now he CAN make both? Can he even see the eyes in order to shoot the portals at them?
while spike celest twilight pinkie who had become mean and sad and turned into pinkiemeanie with the emo hair
Pinkie: ...my full name is Pinkamena.
and fluttershy and rainbow dash and rarity and applejack tore the tenacles of his body to bits and smushed his guts.
AJ: Wait, so suddenly we’re able to fight ‘em off now?
Fallen: Well, yeah. The further away Martin is from you, the more canon you’re able to be. I guess he needs to be close to you to sap your strength and will.
prepare to die like a bitch i screamed and i started to work portle magic like has never been dreamed of by anyone whos ever played the game PORTAL before.
Rarity: Except in their nightmares.
sorry all i know i said this chapter but it will have to be next chapter before we drink applejacks victory cider and also we will have defeated discord completely by then.
Fallen: Hell if I care. Also, admission to self-insertion. Baaaaaaaaad move.
Twilight: Can we stop here? I wanted to do something...
Dash: How can Discord even determine somepony?
my mind was stuck in the middle of scaredacity
Twilight: You didn't lose those tissues, did you, Fallen?
Fallen: I thought you said you'd be fine.
Twilight: I'm not too sure anymore.
if discords portle led straight to his guts it can only mean he chaos tampered the gun that i had owned before i fell into aquestria.
AJ: How's that even work?
Fallen: I just had a fun thought. You need both portals open in order for it to work. That would all be screwed if Discord didn't have the stomach portal open, since they wouldn't be able to go anywhere.
you will fucking regret all of this hero shit prince martin willis
Rarity: As if the readers do not already regret it immensely.
because i have a secret chaotic plan that will make you go pale like swiss cheese or a ghost BWAHAHAHAAHAHA.
Fluttershy: How does cheese work for a paleness comparison?
we all shook and we hugged each other for warmth
Pinkie: I'd have thought it'd be toasty inside his stomach!
and to become less scared of his terrifying inside.
Rarity: I imagine it must look revolting.
Prepare to be scared shitliss martin for you must now face… the stomach and heart and large intestine and short intestine and muscle of the inside of me!
Twilight: This is too nonsensical, even for Discord.
suddenly his guts appeared and they had a billion tenticles or so.
Fallen: Tentacle organs. apple short must watch some REALLY nasty hentai.
they ran like lightening and shot gut juice out of their tentacles and worst of yet they took notice of me celest and the mane six and started to attack.
Fluttershy: I'm just speechless.
sugarcube i dun like to say it but i think we will never make it out of here alive applejack cried while kissing my tail.
AJ: Dagnabbit, stop makin' us sex him up when we're freakin' out!
my but still glowed from the cute mark but i was afraid to shaking.
Fallen: What does that have to do with his ass?
we must attack like a bomb screamed celest with fierce fiery eyes and a glowing red mane that scorched everything that looked at it
Twilight: THE PRINCESS! DOES NOT! WORK THAT WAY!
because now is the time to fuck shit up students.
Fallen: Seeing that dialogue from Princess Celestia brings up fun mental images.
now heed my new order use friendship and kick these guts to death!
Pinkie: This is gonna give "internal bleeding" a whole new meaning!
huzzah everyone screamed with impenetrable will. she filled me with courage and squeezing each others plot we ran forward to kill him from the inside.
Fallen: I swear this is like something out of a Magic School Bus episode.
Dash: What's Magic School Bus?
Fallen: Childhood, my friend.
but suddenly worst than when we had imagined the tentacles began to trap us.
Fallen: You know those times when you end up being proven right, but what you were right about is one of the worst things imaginable? Yeah. That.
they wrapped around our legs and i saw my girlfriend because we made it official twilight sparkle
Twilight: Wait, when did this happen!?
Pinkie: Maybe it was during the giant orgy!
get sucked up in the air by four of them.
Rarity: Are they meant to be vacuum tentacles?
we are fucking getting screwed screamed spike appearing from out of the air with a tentacle in his mouth.
Fluttershy: Then how is he talking?
stepping on one reaching for my plot
Fallen: Is he just organ-raping anything with a heartbeat?
Twilight: How does this even make any biological sense?
i dropped my hands to my hooves
Dash: ...I'm completely lost now.
they had all the ponys tentacle tied and were raping them throung any and every hole.
Fallen: Even ears and nostrils?
pinkie was giggling but i could tell on the inside she was crying
Pinkie: Why wouldn't I just be crying?
Fallen: And how can he tell she's crying behind her laughter?
Twilight: That's not actually much of a stretch, but they say it in a way that makes him sound psychic.
rarity was feinting from the shock of being mouth but and front place raped
Rarity Choking to death on a tentacle sounds much more pleasant than sharing space with this alleged prince.
and applejack and fluttershy were being raped at the same time by the same huge tentacle
AJ: How's that even possible?
Fluttershy: I don't want to know...
and rainbow dash had three in her plot alone.
Dash: That's sick, AND it sounds like it would hurt.
fucking stay away from twilight discord this isnt funny this is rape you sick loser of weird chaos!
Fallen: Considering they're all massive nymphos, I have no idea why they're not enjoying this.
She tearily thanked me and kicked to avoid being impaled through the but.
AJ: They were gonna stab her!?
listen to martin you freak of hate she tore the air with her voice and discords guts trembled momentarily
Fluttershy: Because... organs don't like being yelled at?
because he is a fucking prince and we charged him up so he can portle out of here and kick you in the face!
Fallen: Well, he's a reality-warping lord of chaos who just recovered from petrification, so I don't think a kick to the face is all that threatening.
suddenly celest looked at me and she froze in happiness.
Rarity: Yes, stop moving during a massive confrontation with sentient internal organs. I’m all but certain it will end well for you.
martin she said kicking tentacles away let us kill the guts and you must transport to his face to kill him
AJ: And crushin’ his guts WOULDN’T kill him?
from the eyes by making a portle from his right eye to his left because that way he will be cross eyed and useless.
Twilight: How big does the author think Discord is?
AJ: Almost sounds like he'd cover up a mighty chunk of Sweet Apple Acres.
i eyed my glowing plot wearily but celest i cried with utmost anguish my plot has lost some glow getting here i probably wont have enough.
Pinkie: Just go with the tentacle orgy! It'll power you right back up!
Dash: Stop helping him!
twilight screamed and i cried as four tentacles teased her boobs and below parts.
Fallen: Is the word "pussy" where you draw the line?
fucking i will kick yoru ass if you do not stop this rape discord!
Pinkie: From inside of it? That must feel really weird!
bwahahahahaahaha was all that greete my forine ears.
Twilight: What was that even SUPPOSED to say?
if you really wish to save equestrian we have to have quick sex and power you up yelled celest into my ear.
Fluttershy: Why are you yelling at him if he’s right there?
spike help us get aroused and also hold off the tentacles while we charge him.
Fallen: Or just let them rape you, like Pinkie said. It’s sexual stimulation that fires it up, right? I don’t think his cutie marks will know the difference between rape and consent.
spike nodded grimly and started to lick celests boobs with his tongue
Rarity: As opposed to licking them with his spines?
Pinkie: And this isn’t something you do when you’re all gloomy!
and also he kept the tentacles away and me and celest made the fastest love i could.
Dash: It was over in half a second.
it is working she screamed between my tongue as we kissed and i felt my but glow in response more love she wildly attacked me
Twilight: That’s it. Princess Celestia is hearing about this.
and then yelled now think of his eyes so you get portled there! i thought hard and began having faster sex
Fallen: Gotta go fast!
and just as we kissed and finished i was in the weird evil horse corpse discords face.
Fluttershy: ...weird evil horse corpse? I never thought of it like that, and now that I am, it still sounds wrong.
noooooo he screamed! yes i replied with understanding and began to make the two portles
Fallen: Oh, so now he CAN make both? Can he even see the eyes in order to shoot the portals at them?
while spike celest twilight pinkie who had become mean and sad and turned into pinkiemeanie with the emo hair
Pinkie: ...my full name is Pinkamena.
and fluttershy and rainbow dash and rarity and applejack tore the tenacles of his body to bits and smushed his guts.
AJ: Wait, so suddenly we’re able to fight ‘em off now?
Fallen: Well, yeah. The further away Martin is from you, the more canon you’re able to be. I guess he needs to be close to you to sap your strength and will.
prepare to die like a bitch i screamed and i started to work portle magic like has never been dreamed of by anyone whos ever played the game PORTAL before.
Rarity: Except in their nightmares.
sorry all i know i said this chapter but it will have to be next chapter before we drink applejacks victory cider and also we will have defeated discord completely by then.
Fallen: Hell if I care. Also, admission to self-insertion. Baaaaaaaaad move.
Twilight: Can we stop here? I wanted to do something...
Fallen: What were you thinking, Twilight?
Twilight: I thought I made it clear. I’m calling Princess Celestia.
Fallen: Do we REALLY need to involve her again?
Twilight: Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.
Dash: It could be another trollfic. You know we see enough of those.
Fallen: If apple short’s a troll, he’s a damn dedicated troll. Numerous stories of only MARGINALLY better syntactical quality imply that he just sucks at writing and doesn’t want to take others’ advice. Just like our old pal Felix. This may really be the best he could do at the time. Or at any time, really.
Twilight: You know, for someone who suggested that I shouldn’t talk to her about this, you’re giving a decent reason why I SHOULD.
AJ: How’re ya gonna do that, though? The stuff for makin’ calls is at Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight: And now it’s here too. I saw to that myself.
Pinkie: That’s right! And I already know how it works, AND I know all the contact info for the princess!
Fluttershy: How did you get that, anyway?
Pinkie: Came with the whole setup! There are few enough around for all the other available numbers to just be listed, but Twilight made this one almost from scratch, so it probably doesn’t have all that fun stuff. I know it off the top of my head, though!
(Without another word, Pinkie presses a bunch of buttons, and Princess Celestia appears on the screen.)
Princess Celestia: (from TV) Hm. This is an unfamiliar contact number...
Twilight: Hello again, Princess Celestia.
Celestia: Ah! Twilight, my most faithful student! I’d ask if you managed to set this hardware up in your library, but... the visible walls are lined with weaponry.
Fallen: It’s still the one in the armory, Princess. Your little prodigy rigged this thing to send AND receive, so here we are.
Celestia: Ah! Doing me proud as always. And a fond hello to all the rest of you as well.
Rarity: Greetings, Princess. It’s been some time, for some of us more than others. I assume Twilight’s reason for calling you... may not please you.
Celestia: Why? Is it another story?
Rarity: Yes it- what? How could you possibly have known?
Fluttershy: Because she’s done this before.
Twilight: At any rate, they’re right. And they’re not entirely convinced it’s a trollfic this time, which makes the offensive remarks towards you that much worse!
Celestia: ...you’ve sparked my interest. Could you send me the story?
Twilight: Right away.
(Twilight sends over “pRince Martin Willis,” which Celestia begins to read through. Within moments, she turns completely away from the screen.)
Celestia: I can’t in good conscience keep reading this. The grammar, the story, the repeated sex... you’re certain this is a legitimate story?
Fallen: All but.
Celestia: It’s made me out to be helpless and emotionally fragile! As if I’d been ruling Equestria curled up behind a box of tissues!
Twilight: So you’ll actually banish this author and lock him in a dungeon in-
Celestia: No.
Twilight: No? After all that, just... no?
Celestia: It wouldn’t be fair. I love promoting creativity and free speech, and as much as this story pushes those boundaries, it does still rest within them. It would be narcissistic of me to just ban and punish anything that says anything negative or demeaning about me, and though I’ve never seen anything this... well, this... I’ve seen far less flattering things said about me. And done much more legibly as well.
Twilight: Darn. I was really hoping I had a chance to wipe at least one of these stories out of existence...
Fallen: You win some, you lose some.
Twilight: Well, Princess, I suppose we shouldn’t keep you much longer. I’m sure you’re very busy.
Celestia: Not at the moment, actually. I’m having a bit of a break today and allowing my sister to reacquaint herself with royal procedure and duties. I’m impressed by her progress thus far.
Princess Luna: (offscreen) With whom are you conversing, dear sister?
Celestia: Twilight Sparkle and her friends. You can quickly say hello if you’re not too busy at the moment.
(Princess Luna appears on the screen beside Celestia.)
Luna: (from TV) A curious location. I would not have expected Twilight Sparkle to associate herself with one who amasses large quantities of lethal armaments.
Fallen: I hardly remember how she found me in the first place. At any rate, your highness, my name’s Fallen Prime. I’m the guy with the guns, and I’m kind of a friend.
Luna: Any friend of Twilight’s is a friend of mine. That IS the proper phrasing, is it not?
Twilight: I’m impressed, Princess Luna! You really have a handle on the modern dialect!
Luna: It’s taken much practice, but yes, I am well acquainted with it. I am not immune to reverting to the royal “we” at times, but I feel it to be controlled and almost natural now. I believe I have you to thank partially for that.
Twilight: It was my pleasure. I’d really love to talk more, but your sister said you kind of had your hooves full.
Luna: Indeed. I am still not accustomed to being awake and alert with Celestia’s sun still looming in the sky, but if I am to interact with my subjects, I must make an effort to synchronize my sleeping patterns with theirs, at least for the time being.
Celestia: Speaking of which, you’re meant to be holding court in a few minutes.
Luna: I am mindful of the time, Celestia. I must be off now, but it was a delight to speak with you again, Twilight.
Twilight: The same to you. And you, of course, Princess Celestia.
Celestia: I’m glad we could talk again so soon. Take care, Twilight!
(The princesses’ screen turns off with a blip.)
Fallen: So that was Luna? I thought she’d be... well, louder.
Twilight: The Royal Canterlot Voice was one of the FIRST habits she kicked, actually. She never used it once at my brother’s wedding reception.
Fallen: I still want one or both of them in here someday.
Twilight: And I still say you’re getting your hopes up for nothing.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
Twilight: I thought I made it clear. I’m calling Princess Celestia.
Fallen: Do we REALLY need to involve her again?
Twilight: Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.
Dash: It could be another trollfic. You know we see enough of those.
Fallen: If apple short’s a troll, he’s a damn dedicated troll. Numerous stories of only MARGINALLY better syntactical quality imply that he just sucks at writing and doesn’t want to take others’ advice. Just like our old pal Felix. This may really be the best he could do at the time. Or at any time, really.
Twilight: You know, for someone who suggested that I shouldn’t talk to her about this, you’re giving a decent reason why I SHOULD.
AJ: How’re ya gonna do that, though? The stuff for makin’ calls is at Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight: And now it’s here too. I saw to that myself.
Pinkie: That’s right! And I already know how it works, AND I know all the contact info for the princess!
Fluttershy: How did you get that, anyway?
Pinkie: Came with the whole setup! There are few enough around for all the other available numbers to just be listed, but Twilight made this one almost from scratch, so it probably doesn’t have all that fun stuff. I know it off the top of my head, though!
(Without another word, Pinkie presses a bunch of buttons, and Princess Celestia appears on the screen.)
Princess Celestia: (from TV) Hm. This is an unfamiliar contact number...
Twilight: Hello again, Princess Celestia.
Celestia: Ah! Twilight, my most faithful student! I’d ask if you managed to set this hardware up in your library, but... the visible walls are lined with weaponry.
Fallen: It’s still the one in the armory, Princess. Your little prodigy rigged this thing to send AND receive, so here we are.
Celestia: Ah! Doing me proud as always. And a fond hello to all the rest of you as well.
Rarity: Greetings, Princess. It’s been some time, for some of us more than others. I assume Twilight’s reason for calling you... may not please you.
Celestia: Why? Is it another story?
Rarity: Yes it- what? How could you possibly have known?
Fluttershy: Because she’s done this before.
Twilight: At any rate, they’re right. And they’re not entirely convinced it’s a trollfic this time, which makes the offensive remarks towards you that much worse!
Celestia: ...you’ve sparked my interest. Could you send me the story?
Twilight: Right away.
(Twilight sends over “pRince Martin Willis,” which Celestia begins to read through. Within moments, she turns completely away from the screen.)
Celestia: I can’t in good conscience keep reading this. The grammar, the story, the repeated sex... you’re certain this is a legitimate story?
Fallen: All but.
Celestia: It’s made me out to be helpless and emotionally fragile! As if I’d been ruling Equestria curled up behind a box of tissues!
Twilight: So you’ll actually banish this author and lock him in a dungeon in-
Celestia: No.
Twilight: No? After all that, just... no?
Celestia: It wouldn’t be fair. I love promoting creativity and free speech, and as much as this story pushes those boundaries, it does still rest within them. It would be narcissistic of me to just ban and punish anything that says anything negative or demeaning about me, and though I’ve never seen anything this... well, this... I’ve seen far less flattering things said about me. And done much more legibly as well.
Twilight: Darn. I was really hoping I had a chance to wipe at least one of these stories out of existence...
Fallen: You win some, you lose some.
Twilight: Well, Princess, I suppose we shouldn’t keep you much longer. I’m sure you’re very busy.
Celestia: Not at the moment, actually. I’m having a bit of a break today and allowing my sister to reacquaint herself with royal procedure and duties. I’m impressed by her progress thus far.
Princess Luna: (offscreen) With whom are you conversing, dear sister?
Celestia: Twilight Sparkle and her friends. You can quickly say hello if you’re not too busy at the moment.
(Princess Luna appears on the screen beside Celestia.)
Luna: (from TV) A curious location. I would not have expected Twilight Sparkle to associate herself with one who amasses large quantities of lethal armaments.
Fallen: I hardly remember how she found me in the first place. At any rate, your highness, my name’s Fallen Prime. I’m the guy with the guns, and I’m kind of a friend.
Luna: Any friend of Twilight’s is a friend of mine. That IS the proper phrasing, is it not?
Twilight: I’m impressed, Princess Luna! You really have a handle on the modern dialect!
Luna: It’s taken much practice, but yes, I am well acquainted with it. I am not immune to reverting to the royal “we” at times, but I feel it to be controlled and almost natural now. I believe I have you to thank partially for that.
Twilight: It was my pleasure. I’d really love to talk more, but your sister said you kind of had your hooves full.
Luna: Indeed. I am still not accustomed to being awake and alert with Celestia’s sun still looming in the sky, but if I am to interact with my subjects, I must make an effort to synchronize my sleeping patterns with theirs, at least for the time being.
Celestia: Speaking of which, you’re meant to be holding court in a few minutes.
Luna: I am mindful of the time, Celestia. I must be off now, but it was a delight to speak with you again, Twilight.
Twilight: The same to you. And you, of course, Princess Celestia.
Celestia: I’m glad we could talk again so soon. Take care, Twilight!
(The princesses’ screen turns off with a blip.)
Fallen: So that was Luna? I thought she’d be... well, louder.
Twilight: The Royal Canterlot Voice was one of the FIRST habits she kicked, actually. She never used it once at my brother’s wedding reception.
Fallen: I still want one or both of them in here someday.
Twilight: And I still say you’re getting your hopes up for nothing.
(Buzzer sounds.)
All: We’ve got story sign!
i was in the discords eyes.
Dash: Not just any Discord. THE Discord!
prepare to be sucked into the worst possible lifestyle loser of a freak king
Twilight: I have absolutely no idea what he’s trying to say.
Rarity: The feeling is mutual, darling.
i screamed and doing a badass leap from his one eye time slowed like in the matrix
Fallen: I’m going to kill his next of kin if he claims to know kung fu.
till i could see his whole evil face and then i shot both the portles of orange and blue from my hooves and into each eye.
Fluttershy: The portals... come out of his hooves?
AJ: Well, ah guess he ain’t an alicorn if they ain’t comin’ from a horn.
Pinkie: And he has to jump, so he doesn’t have wings, either!
Fallen: You’re both right. apple short’s FIMFic avatar is of Martin Willis, and he’s an earth pony. If I can credit him at all for anything, it would be trading the worst possible OC race for the most underused.
motherfucker!!!!! now my eyes will be forever crossed you asshole discord cried
Fallen: Actually, the way portals work, they leave HOLES where they’re placed so people and objects can travel between them. If Martin shot them at his pupils, he should effectively be blind, not cross-eyed.
but it only shot out in random directions and was super hilarious.
Dash: Wait, how do his WORDS shoot out in random directions?
i still had some but powers left from my cutie mark so i transferred my minds idea to be portled to his guts once more
Fallen: PORTALS ARE LINE-OF-SIGHT! If you can’t see the spot you want to shoot it at, you can’t shoot it there. You know, like most guns? And portal guns can only produce two at a time, so in order to reach the guts again, he’d have to get rid of the portals in Discord’s eyes.
Twilight: For someone who claims to love the games so much, it sounds like he’s getting a lot of things wrong.
and fell in besides his writhing guts and the other heroes the mane six totally getting it on in victory while celest and spike watched all happy.
Rarity: You expect us to believe that Spike and Princess Celestia would not be happily participating?
Fallen: Like I said. The further from Martin they are, the more canon they act.
Dash: Even though we’re all in a six-mare orgy right now.
Fallen: Okay, I may have been wrong about that, but it’s fun to imagine.
martin twilight wept with more happiness than ever she had before when she saw me and i patted her head to symbolize i had won
Twilight: Or that I’m more of a pet or sex toy to him than an actual marefriend.
and we could be regular coltfriend and fillyfriend again without fear that equestria would be ruined.
Dash: Until Twilight has another panic attack.
prince martin willis as you can see his guts are dead we have won
Fluttershy: That should have been the only thing you needed to do to win.
and we are now immortalize as totally badass celest cheered giving me the thumbs up
Pinkie: Wow, Princess Celestia grew fingers!
and the whole mane six cheered. he will be stuck in a web of his own chaos i said
AJ: Or he’s just... dead. Hard to be alive without organs, ain’t it?
and we had pity sex for him then happy sex for us then charging sex for my cutie mark so we could get back to twilights house.
Rarity: Would he not have charged his portals during the first two sexual encounters?
when we arrived there was tons of barrels of cider out for us to drink
Pinkie: Alright! NOW it’s a party!
Dash: I hope it’s hard cider. Getting wasted sounds like a great idea right now.
and applejack announced that she had ordered the crusaders to bring it here from the farm in honor of our victory.
Fluttershy: If it is hard cider, the Cutie Mark Crusaders shouldn’t be anywhere near it!
AJ: And ah wouldn’t work ‘em like slaves! Ah don’t even think they’d be able to LIFT a full cider barrel, let alone carry a bunch of ‘em!
we all drank and screwed for about a year
Fallen: That sounds like the kind of thing that would make you tired of sex for the rest of your life. Even ignoring the fact that it’s physically possible to keep at it for that long.
and then celest went back to ruling equestria
Twilight: She left her royal duties for an orgy!?
the mane six went back to being friends that fought evil and i would go back to being amazing friends with spike.
Dash: Oh yeah, right. Him being friends with Spike was a thing.
together we would go out looking to screw any pony that needed help.
Pinkie: That’s nice of him! I don’t know how much help it would be, but it’s still nice of him!
and twilight being my awesome fillyfriend like she is agreed that was cool.
Twilight: Why would I ever be okay with my coltfriend sleeping with every mare that needed cheering up!?
also her owl finally came down one night and greeted me and it was the best…
Fallen: Greeted, pecked mercilessly in the eyeballs... at the end of the day, what’s the difference?
Rarity: Eyesight.
Fallen: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
or so i thought. i would soon find that that one greeting would mean something so much crazier and horrible than just a discord being loosed.
Dash: So he DOES think there’s more than one Discord!?
but for then i was happy just to be the seventh and only male pony in the mane six
Pinkie: It’s not “mane six” if there are SEVEN, silly!
getting it on with the others when they needed it being the coltfriend of twilight
Fluttershy: Those two points sound kind of contradictory.
and being prince martin willis king of portles and the game PORTAL on two worlds and saver of the pony world of equestria.
Twilight: Wow. He spelled “Equestria” right.
the end????
Fallen: Sadly not. He’s started a sequel, as I already said, and he intends to make Martin’s tale a trilogy. Plus, all the damned side stories he’s put out...
AJ: Ya mean there’s STILL more!?
Fallen: Not that we’ll get into today.
Dash: Not just any Discord. THE Discord!
prepare to be sucked into the worst possible lifestyle loser of a freak king
Twilight: I have absolutely no idea what he’s trying to say.
Rarity: The feeling is mutual, darling.
i screamed and doing a badass leap from his one eye time slowed like in the matrix
Fallen: I’m going to kill his next of kin if he claims to know kung fu.
till i could see his whole evil face and then i shot both the portles of orange and blue from my hooves and into each eye.
Fluttershy: The portals... come out of his hooves?
AJ: Well, ah guess he ain’t an alicorn if they ain’t comin’ from a horn.
Pinkie: And he has to jump, so he doesn’t have wings, either!
Fallen: You’re both right. apple short’s FIMFic avatar is of Martin Willis, and he’s an earth pony. If I can credit him at all for anything, it would be trading the worst possible OC race for the most underused.
motherfucker!!!!! now my eyes will be forever crossed you asshole discord cried
Fallen: Actually, the way portals work, they leave HOLES where they’re placed so people and objects can travel between them. If Martin shot them at his pupils, he should effectively be blind, not cross-eyed.
but it only shot out in random directions and was super hilarious.
Dash: Wait, how do his WORDS shoot out in random directions?
i still had some but powers left from my cutie mark so i transferred my minds idea to be portled to his guts once more
Fallen: PORTALS ARE LINE-OF-SIGHT! If you can’t see the spot you want to shoot it at, you can’t shoot it there. You know, like most guns? And portal guns can only produce two at a time, so in order to reach the guts again, he’d have to get rid of the portals in Discord’s eyes.
Twilight: For someone who claims to love the games so much, it sounds like he’s getting a lot of things wrong.
and fell in besides his writhing guts and the other heroes the mane six totally getting it on in victory while celest and spike watched all happy.
Rarity: You expect us to believe that Spike and Princess Celestia would not be happily participating?
Fallen: Like I said. The further from Martin they are, the more canon they act.
Dash: Even though we’re all in a six-mare orgy right now.
Fallen: Okay, I may have been wrong about that, but it’s fun to imagine.
martin twilight wept with more happiness than ever she had before when she saw me and i patted her head to symbolize i had won
Twilight: Or that I’m more of a pet or sex toy to him than an actual marefriend.
and we could be regular coltfriend and fillyfriend again without fear that equestria would be ruined.
Dash: Until Twilight has another panic attack.
prince martin willis as you can see his guts are dead we have won
Fluttershy: That should have been the only thing you needed to do to win.
and we are now immortalize as totally badass celest cheered giving me the thumbs up
Pinkie: Wow, Princess Celestia grew fingers!
and the whole mane six cheered. he will be stuck in a web of his own chaos i said
AJ: Or he’s just... dead. Hard to be alive without organs, ain’t it?
and we had pity sex for him then happy sex for us then charging sex for my cutie mark so we could get back to twilights house.
Rarity: Would he not have charged his portals during the first two sexual encounters?
when we arrived there was tons of barrels of cider out for us to drink
Pinkie: Alright! NOW it’s a party!
Dash: I hope it’s hard cider. Getting wasted sounds like a great idea right now.
and applejack announced that she had ordered the crusaders to bring it here from the farm in honor of our victory.
Fluttershy: If it is hard cider, the Cutie Mark Crusaders shouldn’t be anywhere near it!
AJ: And ah wouldn’t work ‘em like slaves! Ah don’t even think they’d be able to LIFT a full cider barrel, let alone carry a bunch of ‘em!
we all drank and screwed for about a year
Fallen: That sounds like the kind of thing that would make you tired of sex for the rest of your life. Even ignoring the fact that it’s physically possible to keep at it for that long.
and then celest went back to ruling equestria
Twilight: She left her royal duties for an orgy!?
the mane six went back to being friends that fought evil and i would go back to being amazing friends with spike.
Dash: Oh yeah, right. Him being friends with Spike was a thing.
together we would go out looking to screw any pony that needed help.
Pinkie: That’s nice of him! I don’t know how much help it would be, but it’s still nice of him!
and twilight being my awesome fillyfriend like she is agreed that was cool.
Twilight: Why would I ever be okay with my coltfriend sleeping with every mare that needed cheering up!?
also her owl finally came down one night and greeted me and it was the best…
Fallen: Greeted, pecked mercilessly in the eyeballs... at the end of the day, what’s the difference?
Rarity: Eyesight.
Fallen: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
or so i thought. i would soon find that that one greeting would mean something so much crazier and horrible than just a discord being loosed.
Dash: So he DOES think there’s more than one Discord!?
but for then i was happy just to be the seventh and only male pony in the mane six
Pinkie: It’s not “mane six” if there are SEVEN, silly!
getting it on with the others when they needed it being the coltfriend of twilight
Fluttershy: Those two points sound kind of contradictory.
and being prince martin willis king of portles and the game PORTAL on two worlds and saver of the pony world of equestria.
Twilight: Wow. He spelled “Equestria” right.
the end????
Fallen: Sadly not. He’s started a sequel, as I already said, and he intends to make Martin’s tale a trilogy. Plus, all the damned side stories he’s put out...
AJ: Ya mean there’s STILL more!?
Fallen: Not that we’ll get into today.
Fallen: And that, finally, was “The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis.” Pinkie Pie, your thoughts?
Pinkie: That was... crazy. It somehow made too little sense.
Fallen: It’s never a good thing to hear you say that. Applejack?
AJ: Ah wanna kick somethin’. Real hard. Ah ain’t gonna be happy ‘til ah hear somethin’ break.
Fallen: Okay... Rainbow Dash?
Dash: I’m on the fence about this, considering it has to compete with “The Brothel,” but this might be the worst thing ever written.
Fallen: Oh, please. Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Please tell me you have brain bleach...
Fallen: The real stuff is too expensive. Rarity?
Rarity: This story and this author must be purged from existence.
Fallen: Good answer. Twilight, since you were apparently a main character in this, what did you think?
Twilight: …
Fallen: Uh... Twi?
Twilight: Hate.
Fallen: Yeah... and?
Twilight: There really is no other word for it. Nothing else fits. Just... pure... HATE.
Fallen: Sounds like fun. Well, it’s great to know this fancy new setup works like a charm. I’m gonna have to do this again sometime.
Pinkie: You should! But not before I make sure you can’t bypass it when I try locking you in!
Fallen: Oh, right, I’d theoretically be able to do that. You realize that if I ever tried, you’re the one who put the thought in my head, right?
Pinkie: I do now!
Fallen: Well, that’s the story. I did want to show you girls something else, though, once I had you all here at once.
Twilight: Another story?
Fallen: Not this time.
Rarity: That one film you suggested you save for a moment like this? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I believe?
Fallen: Maybe next time, but I have something better. Who’s heard of The Avengers?
AJ: Nope.
Fluttershy: I’m sorry, but I can’t say I have.
Dash: Not that I know of.
Pinkie: OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH! YOU HAVE IT!?
Fallen: Had to be you, didn’t it... yes, I do have it. And it’s easily the best movie to come out this year. It may be my favorite movie EVER.
Rarity: That is quite a bold claim.
AJ: Well... ah guess ah wouldn’t awfully mind stayin’ for a good movie.
Fluttershy: What’s it about? It’s not scary, is it?
Fallen: No, it’s not. It’s the biggest and BEST superhero crossover film in cinematic history. Made more money than Titanic did in its own original theatrical run. All these heroes from movies that came out before it come together to fight off an alien invasion by Loki, god of mischief.
Pinkie: Sounds like a pretty cool guy, actually!
Fallen: Not at all. And it’s up to Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow to team up and fight him, under the command of Nick Fury.
Dash: I have no idea who any of those guys are.
Twilight: Wait. Movies that came out before it? Won’t we need to watch those before we watch this?
Fallen: Might be a good idea, in order for you to really understand it all before going into it... but the way the film’s set up, you don’t NEED to see them to enjoy this. I mean, unless you WANT to. There are five movies before it.
Fluttershy: I wouldn’t mind at all.
Dash: It actually sounds pretty awesome. Count me in!
Rarity: I may as well.
AJ: Ah didn’t have much work to do today, so ah have the time.
Pinkie: This is gonna be the greatest superhero movie marathon EVER!
Fallen: Hell yes, it will.
Twilight: I guess I’m in too. You have snacks and drinks, right?
Fallen: Plenty. Just so it doesn’t surprise you later on, though, the actor playing Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk will get replaced for The Avengers. I actually like the new guy a lot better.
Twilight: Well, now I’ll be watching for that. When do we start?
Fallen: Right now, with Iron Man. Ready?
Dash: Aw yeah!
Fallen: Then let’s- oh, wait, this thing’s still on. Hang on, let me get this first.
(Fallen pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
Pinkie: That was... crazy. It somehow made too little sense.
Fallen: It’s never a good thing to hear you say that. Applejack?
AJ: Ah wanna kick somethin’. Real hard. Ah ain’t gonna be happy ‘til ah hear somethin’ break.
Fallen: Okay... Rainbow Dash?
Dash: I’m on the fence about this, considering it has to compete with “The Brothel,” but this might be the worst thing ever written.
Fallen: Oh, please. Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Please tell me you have brain bleach...
Fallen: The real stuff is too expensive. Rarity?
Rarity: This story and this author must be purged from existence.
Fallen: Good answer. Twilight, since you were apparently a main character in this, what did you think?
Twilight: …
Fallen: Uh... Twi?
Twilight: Hate.
Fallen: Yeah... and?
Twilight: There really is no other word for it. Nothing else fits. Just... pure... HATE.
Fallen: Sounds like fun. Well, it’s great to know this fancy new setup works like a charm. I’m gonna have to do this again sometime.
Pinkie: You should! But not before I make sure you can’t bypass it when I try locking you in!
Fallen: Oh, right, I’d theoretically be able to do that. You realize that if I ever tried, you’re the one who put the thought in my head, right?
Pinkie: I do now!
Fallen: Well, that’s the story. I did want to show you girls something else, though, once I had you all here at once.
Twilight: Another story?
Fallen: Not this time.
Rarity: That one film you suggested you save for a moment like this? Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I believe?
Fallen: Maybe next time, but I have something better. Who’s heard of The Avengers?
AJ: Nope.
Fluttershy: I’m sorry, but I can’t say I have.
Dash: Not that I know of.
Pinkie: OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH! YOU HAVE IT!?
Fallen: Had to be you, didn’t it... yes, I do have it. And it’s easily the best movie to come out this year. It may be my favorite movie EVER.
Rarity: That is quite a bold claim.
AJ: Well... ah guess ah wouldn’t awfully mind stayin’ for a good movie.
Fluttershy: What’s it about? It’s not scary, is it?
Fallen: No, it’s not. It’s the biggest and BEST superhero crossover film in cinematic history. Made more money than Titanic did in its own original theatrical run. All these heroes from movies that came out before it come together to fight off an alien invasion by Loki, god of mischief.
Pinkie: Sounds like a pretty cool guy, actually!
Fallen: Not at all. And it’s up to Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow to team up and fight him, under the command of Nick Fury.
Dash: I have no idea who any of those guys are.
Twilight: Wait. Movies that came out before it? Won’t we need to watch those before we watch this?
Fallen: Might be a good idea, in order for you to really understand it all before going into it... but the way the film’s set up, you don’t NEED to see them to enjoy this. I mean, unless you WANT to. There are five movies before it.
Fluttershy: I wouldn’t mind at all.
Dash: It actually sounds pretty awesome. Count me in!
Rarity: I may as well.
AJ: Ah didn’t have much work to do today, so ah have the time.
Pinkie: This is gonna be the greatest superhero movie marathon EVER!
Fallen: Hell yes, it will.
Twilight: I guess I’m in too. You have snacks and drinks, right?
Fallen: Plenty. Just so it doesn’t surprise you later on, though, the actor playing Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk will get replaced for The Avengers. I actually like the new guy a lot better.
Twilight: Well, now I’ll be watching for that. When do we start?
Fallen: Right now, with Iron Man. Ready?
Dash: Aw yeah!
Fallen: Then let’s- oh, wait, this thing’s still on. Hang on, let me get this first.
(Fallen pushes the button, and the TV turns off with a blip.)
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