MPPt3K Guest Submission:
Princess Molestia, Chapter 1
Ello' guvnas! RatherHomely here, taking a break from college work to post another guest submission! Today's riff is the (in)famous Princess Molestia, the first chapter.
I won't keep you too long, but let me throw in my two cents; The quality of the story really changes depending on how you approach it. If you go in expecting a serious read that stays true to the characters and such, allow me to ask you this; WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING A STORY CALLED "PRINCESS MOLESTIA" IN THE FIRST PLACE? If you're like me, however, and go into this expecting a silly, over the top reading, this story is hilarious (Much like Cupcakes.)! Not to mention the writing is fairly good, so it doesn't hurt the brain as much as a story like My Immortal would. If you're looking for something goofy, give the un-riffed version a look.
Enough of my nonsense! Enjoy!
Hello, I’m Storiesatrandom, I remember it, so you don’t have to. Today, we’re gonna look at a story about one of the Anti-Celestia Memes; Princess Molestia. Though Celestia gets off easy in this fic, it’s still loyal to the insulters to Celestia: it has her to do something not true to her character. It also portrays Molestia as a cheap horror movie monster as typical of Sci-fi movies. Really, I felt like I was watching a Sci-fi film about a rapey and horny Alicorn. Plus sides, no death for both characters, and, I admit, Molestia is the lesser evil of the Anti-Celestias: all she wants is sex. She’s not out to congure or enslaved the world, or mess with everybody, just wants some extreme cloppy love. But, there’s better and more preferred ways you can get sex without jumping the ball on it. I mean, just doing it without asking or the second partner’s consent is not cool. And that’s why I can’t stand Molestia just as much I can’t stand the other Anti-Celestias. So, without further a-dodo, here is, Princess Molestia.
Storiesatrandom: “You’re set, guys? You can always back out.”
Celestia: “There’s nothing I can’t handle. I am ready to riff this fic.”
Rarity: “Princess, I just want to state the record that you didn’t have the complete raw end of the deal in this fic.”
Twilight: “But it still mocks Celestia’s name.”
Celestia: “And that’s why I am getting involved. Rarely have I had the chance to express my feelings against Anti-Me propaganda.”
Storiesatrandom: “Well, I must warn you princess, it’ll be like watching a cheesy b-movie or horror flick.
(BUZZ!)
All: “We got story!”
Every creature has needs. Every living animal with a brain has feelings.
Storiesatrandom: “Wow, anti-micro-organism much?”
Every self-aware organism has wants. But only sentient beings can muster up the true essences of desire and passion.
Twilight: “As true as that is, that isn’t very fair to Non-sentient creatures.”
The same goes for everypony, every dragon, every zebra, and any other form of sentient life in Equestria. Earth ponies, Pegasus ponies, Unicorn ponies, even the few Alicorns still in existence, are subject to the double-edged sword effect of emotions, desires, and the ultimate bond between body, soul, and mind.
Storiesatrandom: “You forgot Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Donkeys, whatever Discord is, Goats, Moose, and Horses. Or are they not “Sentient” enough for you, self-righteous italic words?”
The same is true for the loving, caring, eternally wise and noble Princess Celestia.
Celestia: “Wow, I love the comment about me being wise and noble… then I remembered what it said before, and that I’m gonna go rapey soon, so, I can’t help but feel that those words feel empty.”
Though almost a true deity, though so godly in her appearance, her powers, her very way of life even, she too falls victim to the most pleasurable feelings any other sentient creature can find, as well as the most horrible and most greedy of them all.
Celestia: “Ok, now I know those words about me being wise and noble were just a false lead-up for that to come up.”
Storiesatrandom: “And there’s another thing: it said that she almost a true deity. Oh, so living among mortals ruins Celestia being a true on goddess? Well, not her fault she couldn’t stand letting Discord making everyone miserable.”
Twilight: “I hated the part where it said “Horrible” and “Greedy”. It’s hard to believe MSTs aren’t no longer allowed in FIMfiction, but Anti-Celestia fics aren’t banned?”
Storiesatrandom: “Much as I hate to confess, it’s because Molestia, among the other ones, are “Popular” memes. They also unbanned Gorefics and Clopfics so popular fanfictions like Cupcakes can be allowed it. Though I won’t complain too much though, as I, confess writing some adultery-rated stories on my own.”
Despite her best efforts, despite her most cunning usages of psychiatry, magic, and even at one point the elements of harmony, nothing can truly rid her of the darkest, most sinister, most vile and greedy desire she has locked away within her own heart.
Rarity: “Again with the bad talk, Italic words? You talked so wonderfully about her earlier before you started to talk like this.”
Storiesatrandom: “Where did our little Italic go wrong?”
Celestia: “We should’ve expected this that it insulted single cells and non-talking animals… And Griffins and those other things you said, S.A.R. sorry, I didn’t want to waste time saying what you said earlier before.”
Storiesatrandom: “I’ll let it slide.”
Hundreds of years have passed since the last time Celestia's deepest and most frightening side had surfaced, and now it once again threatens to overcome her and all those she cares about most.
Storiesatrandom: “Welcome to Aliens enter Equestia! Ponies vs. Aliens!”
Storiesatrandom: “See? What do you think? I just thought it up and-”
Twilight: “Uh, Storiesatrandom? Nice poster, but we got a fic to commentate.”
Storiesatrandom: “Oh, right, sorry. It was originally gonna be for a joke, but now I’m inspired to do this soon!”
Celestia, Rarity and Twilight: “S.A.R.!”
Storiesatrandom: “Moving on.”
Princess Molestia
Storiesatrandom: “Really? Just add the meme’s name and you get a title?”
Celestia: “Seemingly un-clever I admit.”
Twilight: “Not to mention an obvious indicator what we’re gonna go through.”
By: StreakTheFox
Storiesatrandom: “Long lost and 1000 times removed cousin of Fox MCcloud.”
“This was it... tonight, was going to be the best night ever...” Luna couldn't help but chuckle aloud to herself as she woke up about half an hour before sundown, when it would be her time to lower the sun completely and then bring forth the night she so loved to adorn with her most beloved stars and designs.
Storiesatrandom: “Obviously a night pony.”
However... her primary duty was not what particularly excited her tonight, it was moreover the date that had given her the giggles.
Celestia: “Tonight was the night of her birthday, and everypony, especially her wise, kind, and wonderful sister Celestia was invited.”
For weeks she had planned some sort of “revenge” against her sister, some sort of plot to make her pay for what she had done in the past...
Storiesatrandom: “What? A Lunar Republic and Celestial Empire fic? I thought we were riffing a fic based on a meme were Celestia was a rapist? Why bring what happened in the past into this?”
and once the clock turned midnight, and the calender flipped to the first day of April, all bets would be off and Luna would begin preparing her most cunning prank yet.
All: “Oh…”
Rarity: “She’s planning a prank.”
Celestia: “Well, I’m glad she doesn’t hold being banished to the moon for 1000 years TOO hard.”
“Oh Luna... you are a very sneaky mare... who else better to prank than Tia herself?”
Storiesatrandom: “Anyone that isn’t the one who allowed you back despite almost destroying the world?”
Celestia: “Oh, don’t worry; this isn’t the first time I had been “had” before. Luna’s pranks are harmless at best.”
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, giving the story, I think it’s gonna be a “Prank gone wrong” scenario.”
Twilight: “20 bits say otherwise.”
S.A.R., Celestia, and Rarity: “Deal.”
Once more, Luna found herself getting rather giddy as she trotted out of her room and out towards the designated balcony where she would help lower the sun and then start her wonderful night. Oh, it will be so wonderful... Luna thought to herself. It will be the most amazing night ever... I simply can't wait!
Storiesatrandom: “Did the Narrator say he was looking forward to it?”
^=^=^
Storiesatrandom: “What the hell is that above?”
Rarity: “An inferior replacement for the little star thingies I believe.”
All of Equestria was now long into the night, the thousands of stars above lightly sprinkling their eternal light upon the sleepy world below.
Storiesatrandom: “Depends on what city or place you’re talking about. At a big city, there’s like, a HUGE party or strip club or something. Then there’s New York, the city that never sleeps, or in your world, “Manehatten.”. Ok, I don’t get the horse puns to be honest. I mean, it’s like the smurfs saying they’re name a lot in replacement of more common words. I mean, I would kill if I see a smurf that didn’t say the name EVEN ONCE!”
Twilight: “Gees calm down.”
All the little fillies had gone to bed,
Storiesatrandom: “Expect the ones that sneaked out of home to see an R rated movie.”
the lights in the castle had almost all gone out,
Celestia: “Oops, forgot to pay the electric bill again.”
and only the sounds of crickets could be heard off in the distance, bringing a natural sort of chorus that set such a calm in everypony who listened to it.
Storiesatrandom: “Again, depends on which place your talking about.”
Twilight: “Well ponyvillie’s in the country, so it counts.”
Everypony was either asleep, relaxed, or enjoying their time out in a field enjoying the wonderful lights from above...
Storiesatrandom: “Or getting laid in Manehatten high on Alcohol.”
all, except for one dark blue, deliciously mischievous mare up in the Royal Palace in Canterlot.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna? Mischievous? Does this look like a prankster’s face to you?”
Luna worked in her room by herself, multiple spell books lay open around her as she stood in front of her desk, looking through the open book before her. The book was rare, and contained magical spells and incantations that no normal unicorn would ever be able to make sense of.
Celestia: “Then who was the author if no Unicorn can make sense of it?”
Luna, however, was more than able to read through the complex arrangement of symbols and words before her. Finally satisfied with the information gathered, Luna telekineticly closed the book and proceeded out of her room, a wild grin plastered on her face.
Celestia: “LOOK OUT, LITTLE SISTER! THERE’S A WILD SMILE ON YOUR FACE!”
As she slowly trotted through the halls, her horn was dimly lit as she once more ran the spell through her mind and began conjuring up the correct magical patterns and setting them in place for her to unleash into the casting of the spell itself.
Storiesatrandom: “….. Go on.”
As if like a delicate puzzle, her horn was filled with magic that wove together like strings of yarn, needing a precise order and amount of magical influence in order to be set properly in place for the spell's casting.
Storiesatrandom: “Go on.”
With the last bits coming into place, Luna turned a corner to a grand hallway of white marble and gold lined into the walls, ceilings, and floors with columns guiding through the hallway towards a large metal door, wonderfully decorated with an assortment of light colors and an almost shining cover. This was where her spell would be cast, this was where her ultimate prank would begin, and this... was Celestia's bedroom.
Storiesatrandom: “Go on.”
Celestia: “I believed it’s done.”
Normally there would be a few guards at the door of the room itself,
Celestia: “I know Equestia is friends with all other pony and non-pony nations, but even I don’t underestimate the fear of assassins…. Or a pranky little sister.”
but Luna had ordered them earlier that night to take watch at a post a bit further out, a post from which she could sneak by easily and gain access to her big sister's chamber of slumber.
Storiesatrandom: “Really, no night watch? Didn’t Luna have her own guards and…… Never mind.”
Slowly, quietly, she gently pushed open the large door and took a quick peak around the room, making sure all was still and unexpecting.
Storiesatrandom: “Expecting of what?”
Gradually she began to slip inside,
Celestia: “Oh, I never known Luna as clumsy.”
first her right foreleg, then her left...
Storiesatrandom: “Then she shakes it all about; she does the pony-poky and turns herself around! That’s what it’s all about!”
using her wings to keep the door slightly opened... next her back legs, and finally her tail...
Celestia (mimicking Luna): “Dang it tail, you ran late! You’re supposed to run recon!”
after which she slowly closed the door behind her, making the door shut without even the slightest peep.
Twilight: “Mainly because Luna is not a baby chicken.”
Everything was going according to plan...
Storiesatrandom: “The death star was in place.”
Luna approached Celestia's bed from the side,
Storiesatrandom: “A clever tactic of the Lunaikis Ponikis, as she preys on a slumbering Celestiaikis Older sisteradon.”
a large lump under a pink comforter with Celestia's cutie mark embedded into the center.
Storiesatrandom: “Damn it, Pinkimena got to Celestia first!”
The bed itself was extraordinarily large, a real eyesight for those not used to the furniture of true royalty.
Rarity: “But really anypony can get “Alicorn sized beds” at Sleepy’s.”
This did not even register in Luna's mind
Storiesatrandom: “No sale.”
as she approached the bedside, now able to hear the light snores coming from under the covers.
Celestia: “I don’t snore.”
Her horn was still dimly covered by the soft glow of the magic she had conjured and set in place, ready to be unleashed at any moment. Luna looked around one last time, inspecting her surroundings to make sure she had not forgotten anything essential to her plans.
Storiesatrandom: “But then she remembered: she forgot to save money on car insurance by switching to Geico.”
Voice: “Geico: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more.”
Lastly, she closed her eyes and thought deeply, imaging her bedroom very clearly in her mind, hopefully enough to be able to teleport out of the room quickly once the spell was cast.
Storiesatrandom: “Caught and it’s no TV for a week convinced in her room.”
It was all ready now... it was time to pull the ultimate – and probably most embarrassing – prank that Equestria had ever seen!
Twilight: “I better warn Pinkie Pie that she may have competition.”
This spell has been one heck of a pain to finally get ready,
Storiesatrandom: “It was a very difficult child to rise.”
Luna thought to herself as she looked over her sleeping sister. But now it is time for the greatest night ever...
Storiesatrandom: “Now that makes the other nights little jealous.”
Celestia (pretending to be one of the nights): “Mommy, why do you love the next night more? Weren’t we special enough for you?”
Tia, my loving sister, I always wondered what sort of embarrassing secrets you may be keeping secret in there...
Celestia: “That’s for me to know only, Luna.”
but, it would be so selfish if I were the only one to find out about it!
Celestia: “Oh, like you knowing isn’t enough?”
No... I think that this Psychosurreliac spell shall let everyone who gazes upon you to know all the things you keep tucked away...
Storiesatrandom: “Now it’s time for: WHAT THIS STORY SHOULD’VE FOLLOWED INSTEAD OF AN ANTI-CELESTIA MEME!”
Celestia: “Oh, this is gonna be fun!”
perhaps a childish desire?
(DING)
A little stuffed pony you cuddle with every night?
(DING)
Maybe you have a craving for a rather ghastly food,
(DING)
or even... Luna gasped to herself lightly as the sudden realization hit her. ...or even a CRUSH!
(DING)
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, how many short-lived ideas that would’ve been way better then a Molestia fic were there?”
Twilight: “OH, OH! 4!”
(DING DING DING!)
Storiesatrandom: “AND TWILIGHT WINS TONIGHT’S GAME!”
Twilight: “YAY! What do I win?”
Storiesatrandom: “NOTHING!”
Twilight: “Aw.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ah, I’m kidding, I’ll do an adventure fic with only you and Spike sometime in the future.”
Twilight: “YES!”
Ooooh yes, big sister, tonight will be a night to remember...
Celestia: “if Luna could hear me, I would’ve warned her that something would go wrong.”
The spell Luna had been researching for hours and piecing together in her horn was no normal spell.
Rarity: “I believe we got the idea that it came from a book that no Unicorn could understand.”
It was a highly advanced, incredibly difficult spell that – if cast improperly – may result in side-effects such as temporary memory loss, sporadic changes in mood, “Derp” syndrome, or even mental breakdowns.
Storiesatrandom: “Celestia, why did you let Luna have a book that no unicorn can understand that also contains spells that are dangerous if done wrong?”
Celestia: “Oh sweet Creation, I don’t know what that I in this fic was thinking!”
The spell was very similar to a truth-telling spell, but instead of forcing the one the spell is cast on to only tell the truth,
Storiesatrandom: “So, it’s not too different from a truth spell?”
it forcibly brings out the hidden feelings of the pony the spell is cast on and makes them practically broadcast them out to the world around them.
Twilight: “Oh, gees, yet another idea way better then a Molestia fic.”
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, that would’ve been an awesome “Silly sisters” fic, Luna putting Celestia under a truth spell, Celestia confesses all her embarrassing secrets to the world, causing global in embarrassment. Oh, that would be an awesome Good Celestia and Luna fic, I gotta remember to-”
Celestia: “NO!”
Storiesatrandom: “Come on, please? Your cake fetish was already reveled in the real show.”
Celestia sighed.
Celestia: “This one time only should you ever get to it.”
Though the effect would only last a few hours, Luna was sure she would cherish every moment of Celestia's mindless babbling and spilling of all the beans she had stored inside of her.
Celestia: “Hmm. I’m full of beans. I learn something new about myself every day.”
Luna was completely ready to see her best prank ever come to life...
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Luna): “My creation is almost complete, Igor! (then makes a really good Igor voice) Hehe, yes master, he-he-he-he.”
but as her horn flared and the beam of light shot towards Celestia, the next few seconds would vastly change her opinions on her recent actions...
Storiesatrandom: “And crud gets real right about…….”
The spell struck perfectly, and the mind-altering magic quickly began to seep through Celestia's coat and skin, traveling deep into her body and her mind in order to see what it could unravel. All Luna had to do was channel the spell for the few short seconds it took to complete, and then teleport out before Celestia realized what happened. However... only a second into the spell, the magic hit something inside Celestia that Luna didn't expect.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
It was a barrier of some sort, a seal within her own mind, something that was artificially holding back something else inside of her older sister.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
Whether Luna wanted to find out what it was or not, the spell moved too quickly for her to make any changes in it.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
The powerful effect of the spell almost instantly broke through the hidden seal inside Celestia's mind, unleashing whatever was secluded inside it. But at that moment, the magic that was holding the seal in place suddenly expelled itself from her mind violently, pushing out Luna's own spell as Celestia herself was hit with an inward jolt up and down her spine, immediately waking her up with a heavy, dry gasp.
Celestia: “I got to remember to drink water before I sleep. I apparently dehydrated a lot quicker asleep.”
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
The spell ended that second, and Luna knew something was wrong...
All: “WELL DUH!”
the spell was cast perfectly, but something inside, some other magical effect inside of Celestia had not only stopped it, but completely expelled the effects and had even woken Celestia up!
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
Oh no, this is bad...
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, waking up sun goddesses in the middle of the night is a big holy crap moment.”
I have to go, I have to get out now! Before Luna had even taken the time to think about what may have caused the abrupt interference of the spell, she dove into her mind and brought up the image of her room, quickly conjuring up a quick teleportation spell and sending her out of the room.
Storiesatrandom: “Perfect time for a quick break.”
Storiesatrandom: “So, what did you think of the story so far?”
Rarity: “Well, it seems well put to together at least. But mainly because we haven’t encounter the worse of it yet.”
Celestia: “Well, other than the brief nice comments, Luna not trying to kill me intentionally or meaning to ruin my reputation in a non-childish way possible, and that I somehow allow her access to books even I shouldn’t touch, I agree with Rarity.”
Twilight: “I’ll say my final word when we’re finish with this.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ok. Well, me myself, I had fun making jokes on it at least. And like Twilight, my final word will be reveled soon enough.”
(BUZZ)
ALL: “BREAK OVER!”
*=*=*
Storiesatrandom: “The weird symbols again? Oh god, please tell me we don’t have to put up with more things like that.”
Rarity: “What the devil is wrong with stars or the lines?
Celestia, hearing the light Ping that is the sound of a teleportation spell, thrusted her upper body upward and looked around the room hastily. Nothing was there...
Celestia: “EEK! I BEEN ROBBED!”
the room stood dark and still, and only the sound of the wind blowing against the drapes of the windows was able to be heard.
Storiesatrandom: “Those drapes are having fun tonight.”
Celestia sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a minute to think about what may have just happened.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it…. Again.”
Was she dreaming? Did she perhaps have a nightmare
Celestia: “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have watched “Goosebumps” or “The Haunting Hour” at night.”
and her horn was on the fritz again?
Twilight: “Don’t ya mean “or”, or at least “And/or”?”
She couldn't tell, but in moments the door to her bedroom opened up as two guard ponies stepped in, looking to be as if in a rush.
Rarity: “Their wives were expecting them.”
“Princess Celestia!” The guard on the right announced. “We saw a bright flash coming from the window of your room, is everything alright!?”
Storiesatrandom: “And now, the moment we waited for folks…. In 3, 2, 1….”
“Well of course, everything's just...” a sudden jolt seemed to impact Celestia as her eyes suddenly widened, her pupils dilated harshly, and her teeth began to jitter.
Storiesatrandom: “UP! There it goes!”
Twilight (mimicking a guard): “Gee, Princess, I don’t call you having an episode fine. You need to see medical attention, stat!”
She looked down at first, her mind scrambled and her regular thought process interrupted by this strange sensation she was feeling.
Storiesatrandom: “The thought process was rather disturbed by the Strange Sensation.”
She suddenly felt dizzy,
Celestia: “From all those cakes she had. Mr. and Ms. Cake must’ve added an extra ingredient to that last cake they sent.”
her head lightly swaying side to side as something began to invade the workings of her mind.
Storiesatrandom: “MICRO PUPPET CONTROLLING ALIENS!”
The guards, seeing the apparent disarray of the princess, rushed up against the foot of the bed, seeing if the Princess was injured or perhaps giving off some sort of magical backlash, as would be the effect of most offensive spells.
Storiesatrandom: “Our first victims, ladies and, uh, more ladies, two un-named and dim-witted guards.”
Twilight: “They will be mourned.”
Yet the Princess' swaying quickly stopped, as she then looked up towards the guards, meeting each of them eye to eye.
Twilight (mimicking a guard): “Uh, we think you should still seek medical attention.”
Both guards took a step back. This... wasn't the regular gaze of Celestia. Her eyes were open wide and her pupils were now resembling tiny black dots.
Celestia: “Uh, guys, I’m trying to sleep, do you mind?”
Little streams of blood seeped into the whites of her eyes, making them seem bloodshot.
Storiesatrandom: “You have to admit, you would be more badass with bloodshot eyes, Celestia.”
Celestia: “I’ll stick to my less nightmarish gaze, thank you.”
Her face had a horribly creepy grin on it as her teeth continued to jitter and shake,
Storiesatrandom: “MIRCO PUPPET CONTROLLING ALIENS THAT LOOK LIKE PINKIE PIE THAT PARTY IN TEETH.”
as if she was freezing cold. Celestia's eyes shot to each of the guards quickly,
Twilight: “I don’t advise killing off your own Guards, Princess.”
going back and forth to meet with both of their eyes.
Storiesatrandom: “Hi, I’m Celestia’s eyes.”
Rarity: “Hello, I’m guard number 1’s eyes; these are my associates, Guard number two’s eyes.”
Twilight: “Charmed, we’re sure.”
Before another word was spoke from the guards, Celestia's horn lit up and the door behind them shut with a loud thud.
Storiesatrandom: “Won’t that just bring more attention?”
The lock on the door shined magically as it slit into place, sealing out anypony outside and trapping any others inside with what now lurked in Celestia's bed.
Celestia: “Uh, I’m sure it’s still me… or, an Anti-Celestia clone.”
The two guards looked back at the closed door, then to each other, both with obvious strikes of fear in each other's faces.
Celestia: “Not the most professional guards I have, are they?”
Storiesatrandom: “Eh, maybe they’re rookies.”
They didn't even begin to remotely understand what had happened to Celestia, what had happened in the room before they came in, but she wasn't her now... she was, something else...
Celestia (sarcastically): “Oh dear, what am I now?
the look on her face sent shivers through their bodies as her eyes seemed to pierce like the tip of a spear into each of their souls.
Storiesatrandom (mimicking a guard): “Uh, Celestia? Could you have your eyes not pierce our souls?”
Celestia: “Oh, sorry.”
Neither guard could move as Celestia gazed at each of them, her grin widening while the sheets on her bed began to slide down by her own magic.
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, they’re either gay or married if they are not looking forward of getting jiggy with a goddess.”
Rarity: “Well, we know this image isn’t true for sure.”
“My loyal, most trustworthy guards...” Celestia finally spoke, her voice piercing through the silence of the room.
Celestia: “Sorry about that, Silence.”
“Would you care to join me... tonight... in a most wonderful slumber?”
Twilight (mimics the guard): “HELL YEAH!”
The two guards once again exchanged glances, and then returned their focus to Celestia just in time to see her horn once again light up, and take hold of the armor that bound them. Almost effortlessly the gold plating slipped off their bodies, fully revealing the white coats of their bodies while the armor was flung to the side of the room.
Celestia: “Suddenly my guards look less intimidating without that armor.”
“P-princes... are you alright? You seem rather... shaken...”
Storiesatrandom: “Uh, missing the second S much?”
“Oh, I was feeling very lonely earlier... but now that you both are here, I now have something to keep me occupied...”
Storiesatrandom: “Surprise, Surprise, she’s Molestia now.”
A magical force on the rumps of both guards pushed them towards the bed a little.
Storiesatrandom: “Hey, Magical force, they aren’t even ready yet!”
“W-we really should... ya know, get b-back to... standing g-guard, ma'am...”
Rarity: “I didn’t know Scootaloo was a guard. Oh wait, she’s a young mare. That means, those guards are chickens. Better yet, gay chickens. No, no wait, gay married chickens, no, even better, gay, married, rookie chickens.”
Storiesatrandom: “Not as funny as you thought it would’ve came out.”
“Oh I think you've done a fine job tonight... but now it's time for another duty of yours...”
Celestia: “Help me find my teddy bear.”
Others: “……”
Celestia: “What?”
Storiesatrandom: “You have a teddy bear?”
Celestia: “Uh, no.”
Storiesatrandom: “Oh good, cause I plan for you to keep on a blanket. You see, I am planning a fic based on this Powerpuff Girls episode where Buttercup has this blanket and-”
Celestia: “Moving on!”
The magical force tugged their bodies closer to the bed, halving the distance from where they started.
Storiesatrandom: “Oh god, prepare for something not called for.”
“B-b-but princess! Wha... what other duty is there for us, y-your majesty?”
“Only the most important, most taxing, and most pleasurable duty of all...”
Celestia: “A SLEEP OVER! I HAVE A SLEEPOVER GUIDE AND EVERYTHING! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!”
Celestia's wings had now begun to unfurl as the magical force once more pushed the two guards even closer still.
Celestia: “Impressive wingboner I confess, even if I do say so myself.”
“P-princess Celestia of Equestria!” One guard finally cried out in a terrified yell. “What has gotten into you!?”
Storiesatrandom: “Gee, didn’t you even read the script?”
The very next moment, Celestia pushed herself off of her bed, launching her entire body down over the foot of the bed and against the two guards, sending them both falling back with their legs sprawled out and their faces stricken with fear.
Twilight: “Actselly, they could’ve been dead by now, with Celestia Alicorn frame and their body size, the impact of the pounce should’ve resulted with one hell of a mess for somepony to clean up tomorrow.”
Celestia towered over them, her hooves against the outer shoulder and outer thigh of each of the guards, as if keeping them trapped within her grasp.
Storiesatrandom: “Oh god, here it comes!”
Celestia: “Twilight, cover your eyes, this might not be pleasant.”
Twilight covers her eyes.
Her head slung down as her smile only increased with a slight drool traveling over her lip.
“It is not what has gotten into me, but instead, what is going into you!”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s the big one folks, as those guards are gonna-”
^=^=^
Storiesatrandom: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”
Twilight slowly opens her eyes.
Celestia: “I’ll tell you when it’s time to close again.”
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
All: “As of our quotes.”
Luna boasted as she paced back and forth in her room, scorning herself for messing up such an important spell and ruining a great prank. “I was soooo close to getting the ultimate revenge, and it had to screw up! I'm so stupid for not thinking this through enough... how could I be so DUMB!?”
Celestia: “There, there, Luna, you’ll get another chance.”
The constant bombardment Luna was bringing on herself continued, her rapid pacing including the stomping of her hooves, the whipping of her tail against her desk, and the occasional banging of her horn against her bed. Now, not only did she fail her prank and spoil her once chance for a good laugh, but she probably now also got Tia incredibly upset with her, and was surely in for some sort of punishment.
Celestia: “Which I like to ensure isn’t moon related.”
Luna's body flinched as the though of another year on the moon passed through her mind... or maybe another whole thousand of them.
Storiesatrandom: “Again with missing a second word?”
Celestia: “And I don’t like Luna thinking I’ll banish her to the moon just because of a prank.”
Her train of thought was cut off by a sudden shriek coming from the distance.
Storiesatrandom: “Train robbery!”
It was a colt's voice, but it seemed to come from outside. Quickly Luna ran out onto her balcony and looked around for only a few seconds before she noticed a flickering, colorful display of lights coming from the window of Celestia's bedroom.
Celestia: “I was having a good time at my slumber party.”
“That.. that light's a result of magical discharge! Oh my... Celestia!”
Storiesatrandom: “Victim number three coming in, folks.”
Without hesitation Luna burst through her bedroom door and practically flew down the hallway, taking the few turns needed to get back to the main hallway leading to Celestia's royal bedroom. Already there was a crowd of guards around the door, all of them trying desperately to break open the door and get inside to the source of the commotion.
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, make that after all those other guards. I am not gonna count all of them or we’ll be here all night.”
Quickly, Luna fed magic through her horn, and focused it under the door and up to the lock. She felt her way around it, working her magic through the bolts and slides of the lock itself before finally getting it undone.
Celestia: “Twilight, cover your eyes again, this looks serious.”
Twilight covered her eyes again.
As she flew towards the door, the guards stopped gathered behind her, knowing Luna would possibly be the most important to enter the room. In the next moment, Luna's front hooves collided with the large door and pushed it open fully revealing the scene inside which sent a gasp to each pony still in the hallway.
Celestia: “IT’S THE GOSH DARN BEST SLUMBER PARTY IN EQUESTI-”
Storiesatrandom: “Save it, we know what it’s really gonna be shown.
Both guards inside had their armor stripped, their bodies covered in sweat and other forms of wetness while panting heavily.
Twilight: “Can I see now?”
Storiesatrandom: “Keep them close, I think it’s coming soon enough.”
Their faces held expressions of fear and anguish, their figures seemed depleted as if their energy had all been taken away. Both were laid on their backs, their legs sprawled out widely with a slender, yet powerful hoof stroking up and down the chests and stomachs of each.
Storiesatrandom: “Well somebody had fun tonight.”
Before them stood Celestia herself, but different... her face had changed and become somewhat distorted, as if the wild grin she now held has been imprinted on there artificially.
Celestia: “I am Roboto Celestia. I grant sexual pleasure.”
Her pupils were tiny, her eyes bloodshot, even her mane was different as it seemed to spazz out randomly, like it had a mind of its own.
Storiesatrandom: “That mane was already moving on its own, so this doesn’t surprise me.”
Her tail was also acting strangely, whisking itself side to side like a playful cat,
Celestia: “I thought we were ponies, not cats.”
and her horn was still frizzing with magic while also being covered with some sort of clear liquid.
Storiesatrandom: “Thank god Molestia didn’t gore them. Then this would’ve been more anti Celestia then it already is.”
Celestia looked up and immediately stuck her gaze towards Luna, who looked back with a mix of shock, confusion, and fear at the sight before her.
Celestia: “Uh, I can explain. You see, they’re uh, drunk.”
A drop of drool started to slide down her lips as Celestia spoke out towards her sister while her eyes seemed to tear deep into Luna's soul.
Storiesatrandom: “Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not nice to tear your sister’s soul with your eyes?”
Celestia (blushing): “Once.”
“Luuunaaaa... My dear, loving, delicious sister...”
Celestia: “Oh, here comes my soon to be most un-favorite part: me molesting my sister. This is why I hate Molestia atad more then even Tyrantia or “Tyrant Celestia” she’s calling herself.”
This was all Luna needed to hear before she immediately turned her flank around and flew as fast as she could in the opposite direction.
Celestia: “She is spending time with Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight opens her eyes again.
She didn't know where she was going, her thoughts were too scrambled and confused by what she had saw, and she was barely able to curve and steer herself around the turns and corridors she flew through. A large crashing sound was heard behind her as the group of guards from before suddenly yelled out as if suddenly hit by something.
Storiesatrandom: “That better not be slaughter I hear over there!”
As Luna continued to fly, it became obvious by the faint, yet distinguishable glow behind her that Celestia had forced her way past the guards, and was not far behind.
Celestia: “Run sister, run from the imposter Celestia before you!”
Luna pushed forward, racing as fast as her wings could take her down each hallways and past each doorway, only to finally come to a dead end... in her own bedroom.
Storiesatrandom: “Don’t ya hate it when they always make this mistake in b movies like this.”
“Oh no, oh no oh no oh no!” She gasped to herself, desperately trying to figure out what to do next. Quickly she closed the door to her room, hoping that perhaps that would help her hide from her older sister long enough for her to find a solution. This, however, proved to be unfortunately false.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna, you can still get out of here, just fly out the window and-”
Only moments later Luna's bedroom door swung open loudly, Celestia herself prancing into the room with the same wicked grin on her face while her wings stayed completely unfurled and spread outwards around her.
All: “Too late.”
Luna's heart sank as a cold, painful shiver ran down her spine and throughout her body.
Storiesatrandom: “A billion lives were lost on the S.S. Luna’s heart.”
Twilight: “On a lighter note, the citizens of Luna’s spine had the best snow day ever.”
She turned around just in time to see Celestia's front hooves rear up and push Luna back onto her own bed, making her give off a slight shriek of pain. The door into the room shut quickly, and all the windows immediately closed with the curtains sliding over them as Celestia's horn began to flow once more with intense magic.
Celestia: “Ok, Twilight, close your eyes, this is the real deal.”
Twilight covers her eyes.
Twilight: “No need to tell me twice.”
“T-tia! Sister! Wha... What in all of Equestria has gotten into you!?”
Celestia: “You turned me into an Anti-Me meme, sister. What else?”
Celestia pounced onto the bed, her hooves on either side of Luna's body as she brought her head down closer towards her sister's.
Storiesatrandom: “Clearly Celestia is the one who wears the pants of this relationship.”
Celestia: “We don’t wear clothes.”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s a metaphor.”
Celestia: “Met who?”
Storiesatrandom: “Celly, after this, we’re gonna have a talk.”
“Oh Luna... I have always loved you so very much. How I've always dreamed of feeling your soft, well groomed coat...”
Celestia: “Pretty sure I don’t dream of my sister’s coat.”
Celestia's right hoof trailed up and down from luna's neck to her chest and around to her side.
Storiesatrandom: “I thought your sister was a pony, not the Grand Canyon.”
“your dazzling, wonderfully plush blue mane...”
Celestia: “You know, before Season 2 turned it into a mane in style of mine, but in a shape of stars of a blue night.”
Like a tentacle, Celestia's mane slithered down and wrapped itself around Luna's which was laid out beside her.
Celestia: “It disgusts me that even my mane is being unmorally naughty.”
“And your Exquisitely erotic body.”
Celestia: “If I didn’t know this was a film, I-”
Storiesatrandom: “Chill Celly, no point to argue with a character in the film.”
Celestia dipped her head lower and slid out her tongue, slowly bringing it against Luna's chest and up her neck and muzzle, stopping just on her bottom lip.
Storiesatrandom: “Is it that it slightly turns me on?”
Others: “YES!”
Luna's entire body was now trembling with fear,
Celestia: “First sliding, now she is tripping in fear? I think Luna needs lessons on how not to be clumsy.”
her inner most instincts about ready to force her into violent retaliation if it had to come to it, only being held back by the fact that this was Luna's older sister here, now, on top of her, feeling up her body as if she was some sort of perverted play toy.
Storiesatrandom: “At least Luna has a sort of respect to me that she would even let, “that” impersonator me do this.”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s also because you were heavier then her.”
This was not the Celestia she knew, and there was no way she could think of a way out with her mind as horrifically scrambled as it was.
Storiesatrandom: “This is your mind. This is your mind on drugs and unprotected sex. Any questions?”
Celestia: “Can I have my scrambled brain sunny-sided up?”
Celestia's tail slithered and stroked itself against Luna's, but soon began to ride up the tail and slide itself against luna's rear, exploring her figure and spreading apart her legs, splaying open her haunches obscenely while it lathered itself against Luna's coat.
Storiesatrandom: “Now your tail’s snake like? First something about a cat, now it’s a snake? Can’t your mane and tail make up their minds?”
Celestia: “Well, I guess since this me can’t think straight, neither can my mane and tail.”
The sensation that ran through Luna's body forced a small moan to escape her lips,
All: “JAILBREAK!”
Twilight screams!
Celestia: “Twilight, close your eyes!”
Twilight did just that!
pushing through Luna's best efforts to keep it held down. This only excited Celestia even more as her mane wrapped itself around Luna's and tugged her head closer, her body now lowering down and brushing up directly against Luna's while Celestia's eyes grew wider still.
Storiesatrandom: “Any wider and she can’t have a face or a 3rd of her body anymore. She’ll end up like Plucky Duck from Tiny Toons when he was stuck on giant eye mode!”
Her tongue slipped out once more
Celestia: “OH MO, MY MOUNGE MAME MOUT!”
and slid itself around luna's face and muzzle, swirling around her nose and mouth before suddenly jolting down between her lips and forcing inside Luna's saliva-coated orifice.
Storiesatrandom: “Anyone had any idea what orifice is?”
No answer.
Storiesatrandom: “I thought so. No body uses words simpler people understand.”
At that exact moment, Celestia's lower body connected with Luna's and roughly began to push and grind up and down against her, pressing with enough force to move Luna's body forward and back against the bed as well.
Storiesatrandom: “Hey, easy you rascals!”
Luna couldn't withstand this feeling coursing through her entire body.
Storiesatrandom: “It has to leave! It’s over-due on rent day!”
She was in a state of compelling fright as her older sister dominated her and used her like some sort of toy, yet at the same time the flowing sensation racing through her body was unimaginably pleasurable.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna had the secret hots for her own sister? Damn, no wonder she acted so damn moody in my story “A private meeting with the princess.”.”
Celestia: “If that’s the case, I need to have a strong talk with her why is wrong for sisters to mate with each other.”
That sensation bore through like a hot flame passing over the surface of fresh oil, reaching the endpoints of her body and then repelling back with double the force like a wave crashing against the wall and sending more waves back.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna’s an ocean now? Well, then the joke about Luna’s heart being a ship made more sense then.”
This kept up for several minutes, with each passing moment diving Luna's body into further strain of dealing with this sort of forced pleasure.
Celestia: “She personally felt it was rushed and deserved more defeliment.”
Just when Celestia had began to lose herself in the full force of her domination over her sister,
Storiesatrandom: “the Parents came in and grounded Celestia and cured her of whatever happened to her and all was forgiven. The end.”
Celestia: “Sorry, if it doesn’t work for Ratherhomely, who’s to say it’s gonna help us out?”
a sudden poof of smoke appeared before her with a magical sputter.
Celestia: “The smoke was rather awkward. Oh, Twilight, I think we’re done for the moment, you can open your eyes again.”
Twilight opens her eyes.”
Quickly, Celestia reared back – while still staying on top of Luna –
Storiesatrandom: “Cause god forbid if Luna was allowed to escape. Then again, Luna would’ve been able to stop this and this would be over quickly.”
and examined the magical cloud before her just in time to see it materialize into... a letter!
Storiesatrandom: “R to be patific, for rape. Wow, even something as disgusting as this tries to pass some education.”
Instinctively, Celestia used her magic to unravel the letter and began to read its contents.
Celestia: “Hmm, I wonder what my student wrote.”
Dear Princess Celestia...
My friends and I have all learned an important lesson today. Though it may be a lot easier to simply stand by and watch as something wrong happens to somepony else, sometimes you just need to stop and stand up for yourself. To be treated unfairly just because of a little rumor, a small white lie, or even due to some silly stereotype is a big mistake, and even if it isn't happening to you or someone you know, you should try to help make sure things right, so that everypony gets treated fairly and have equally fun experiences.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
Twilight: “Not sure if I remember even writing that message.”
Storiesatrandom: “Because there wasn’t an episode about racial problems. Your kid show characters, you tend to avoid conversel and adult stuff like that.”
Twilight Sparkle....
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, we know who “supposingly” wrote the latter.”
Twilight Sparkle...
Storiesatrandom: “Is there a broken record player here?”
“...Twilight Sparkle!”
Celestia: “I wonder who said it?”
Storiesatrandom: “I think it was supposed to be you.”
It had only taken a few moments for Celestia to read the letter, but the last two words – the name of the sender – repeated itself in her head for much longer.
Storiesatrandom: “And damn did it annoy her.”
Luna, although still trapped underneath Celestia's body, was panting as she looked up, confused at Celestia who appeared to be in mid-gasp.
Storiesatrandom: “Is there a lower and higher gasp then?”
As if like a bolt of lightening, all the memories of Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and all of ponyville suddenly darted through her mind and enveloped her thoughts.
Celestia: “I’m sure lightening doesn’t work like that.”
She looked down towards Luna,
Celestia: “Luna, why are you under me?”
who returned the gaze with a still frightened, yet confused look.
Storiesatrandom: “How can anyone be frighten and confuse at the same time?”
Luna and the guards were one thing...
Storiesatrandom: “Tecnecly more than one.”
but Twilight and her friends... oh how she had desired to feel through all of them too.
Storiesatrandom: “Not loyal to your sex slaves, are you?”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW!”
And in a few more moments, her mind was made up.
Storiesatrandom: “Well, she is tecnecly fictional.”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW! AGAIN!”
She stood up on the bed, pulling her body off of Luna's, blew open the door to the bedroom and raced out at nearly top speed, leaving a dazzling magical trail behind her that slowly faded away.
Celestia: “Apparently I sleep with racing shoes to bed.”
Luna was still laying on the bed, her legs sprawled out and her hot, sweating body exposed.
Storiesatrandom: “This is like she’s posing for a slut magazine or something.”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW! Yet again! Ok, seriously, why are you slapping me? You don’t even have hands.”
Celestia: “I have a limit how far you are allowed to go too far. And you’re beyond the safety zone.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, I’ll be sure to be careful what I say then.”
She lay on her back, panting, her horn giving off a slight magical discharge while she slowly closed her eyes, utterly exhausted both emotionally and physically, and then drifted off to sleep.
Storieatrandom: “What a way to end a story.”
End part 1
Storiesatrandom: “And that’s part 1. Oh boy, that means it’s a chapter story. Let’s agree to worry more when it’s time.”
Storiesatrandom: “Now, the final words. Ladies?”
Twilight: “Well, there were obvious spelling mistakes, some words or letters are missing, and alcourse it focuses on one of the evil Celestia fan memes.”
Rarity: “On my note, the Luna in this story is out of character by season 2 standards. Well, I supposed that can be forgiven. This was probably made before Season 2 came.”
Celestia: “Other then what you 2 formentioned, it seems like a decent read. Yes, I dislike it because it makes me into a sci-fi movie villain, and the short lived ideas that would’ve been better plot ideas for this story instead of, Molestia, then what that I did to Luna. But, at least it is a clever and witty read, I had fun making blacken lines in-between, and, I am actselly looking forward what happens next.”
Storiesatrandom: “My say on the matter? Same as the three of you, slight spelling problems, which I can forgive, it’s my problem too, some words are missing some required letters, an out of date Luna (or no longer canonly correct by season 2 standards), making Celestia look bad, sister on sister sex (but that is not even the worse of it), and my notes, Italics that bad mouth micro-organisms, non-sentient animals, Non-pony races, sweets talks princesses then trashes on them, an un-clever title, the rape, the fact Celestia allowed Luna to have a dangerous book Period, that it holds dangerous magic no Unicorn understands yet it exists anyway because, of some reason or another, cowardly and moronic guards, and finally, running on a turned down b-movie logic. And, that’s what makes is somewhat interesting. You see, it’s the obvious clichés that makes it charming ironically. I actselly read this story before I even got into the writing business, and I saw the ending… which I won’t spoil again (I may already done it before) to those that haven’t read it. Though I do not approve of making Celestia a villain or a B-movie monster, I would actselly recommend this to anyone who’s interested in excitement, or just want to know about it. We’ll set up more chapters soon and maybe even look at this story's “Alternate endings”…. I mean it; this guy literally posted his alternate endings. Boy, I seen them, and let’s just say, I’m glad those became alternate period. I’m Storiesatrandom, and they were Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Rarity, we remember it so you don’t have too.”
Twilight: “Did you have to rip off the Nostalgia Critic?”
Storiesatrandom: “………….Sorry.”
I won't keep you too long, but let me throw in my two cents; The quality of the story really changes depending on how you approach it. If you go in expecting a serious read that stays true to the characters and such, allow me to ask you this; WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING A STORY CALLED "PRINCESS MOLESTIA" IN THE FIRST PLACE? If you're like me, however, and go into this expecting a silly, over the top reading, this story is hilarious (Much like Cupcakes.)! Not to mention the writing is fairly good, so it doesn't hurt the brain as much as a story like My Immortal would. If you're looking for something goofy, give the un-riffed version a look.
Enough of my nonsense! Enjoy!
Hello, I’m Storiesatrandom, I remember it, so you don’t have to. Today, we’re gonna look at a story about one of the Anti-Celestia Memes; Princess Molestia. Though Celestia gets off easy in this fic, it’s still loyal to the insulters to Celestia: it has her to do something not true to her character. It also portrays Molestia as a cheap horror movie monster as typical of Sci-fi movies. Really, I felt like I was watching a Sci-fi film about a rapey and horny Alicorn. Plus sides, no death for both characters, and, I admit, Molestia is the lesser evil of the Anti-Celestias: all she wants is sex. She’s not out to congure or enslaved the world, or mess with everybody, just wants some extreme cloppy love. But, there’s better and more preferred ways you can get sex without jumping the ball on it. I mean, just doing it without asking or the second partner’s consent is not cool. And that’s why I can’t stand Molestia just as much I can’t stand the other Anti-Celestias. So, without further a-dodo, here is, Princess Molestia.
Storiesatrandom: “You’re set, guys? You can always back out.”
Celestia: “There’s nothing I can’t handle. I am ready to riff this fic.”
Rarity: “Princess, I just want to state the record that you didn’t have the complete raw end of the deal in this fic.”
Twilight: “But it still mocks Celestia’s name.”
Celestia: “And that’s why I am getting involved. Rarely have I had the chance to express my feelings against Anti-Me propaganda.”
Storiesatrandom: “Well, I must warn you princess, it’ll be like watching a cheesy b-movie or horror flick.
(BUZZ!)
All: “We got story!”
Every creature has needs. Every living animal with a brain has feelings.
Storiesatrandom: “Wow, anti-micro-organism much?”
Every self-aware organism has wants. But only sentient beings can muster up the true essences of desire and passion.
Twilight: “As true as that is, that isn’t very fair to Non-sentient creatures.”
The same goes for everypony, every dragon, every zebra, and any other form of sentient life in Equestria. Earth ponies, Pegasus ponies, Unicorn ponies, even the few Alicorns still in existence, are subject to the double-edged sword effect of emotions, desires, and the ultimate bond between body, soul, and mind.
Storiesatrandom: “You forgot Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Donkeys, whatever Discord is, Goats, Moose, and Horses. Or are they not “Sentient” enough for you, self-righteous italic words?”
The same is true for the loving, caring, eternally wise and noble Princess Celestia.
Celestia: “Wow, I love the comment about me being wise and noble… then I remembered what it said before, and that I’m gonna go rapey soon, so, I can’t help but feel that those words feel empty.”
Though almost a true deity, though so godly in her appearance, her powers, her very way of life even, she too falls victim to the most pleasurable feelings any other sentient creature can find, as well as the most horrible and most greedy of them all.
Celestia: “Ok, now I know those words about me being wise and noble were just a false lead-up for that to come up.”
Storiesatrandom: “And there’s another thing: it said that she almost a true deity. Oh, so living among mortals ruins Celestia being a true on goddess? Well, not her fault she couldn’t stand letting Discord making everyone miserable.”
Twilight: “I hated the part where it said “Horrible” and “Greedy”. It’s hard to believe MSTs aren’t no longer allowed in FIMfiction, but Anti-Celestia fics aren’t banned?”
Storiesatrandom: “Much as I hate to confess, it’s because Molestia, among the other ones, are “Popular” memes. They also unbanned Gorefics and Clopfics so popular fanfictions like Cupcakes can be allowed it. Though I won’t complain too much though, as I, confess writing some adultery-rated stories on my own.”
Despite her best efforts, despite her most cunning usages of psychiatry, magic, and even at one point the elements of harmony, nothing can truly rid her of the darkest, most sinister, most vile and greedy desire she has locked away within her own heart.
Rarity: “Again with the bad talk, Italic words? You talked so wonderfully about her earlier before you started to talk like this.”
Storiesatrandom: “Where did our little Italic go wrong?”
Celestia: “We should’ve expected this that it insulted single cells and non-talking animals… And Griffins and those other things you said, S.A.R. sorry, I didn’t want to waste time saying what you said earlier before.”
Storiesatrandom: “I’ll let it slide.”
Hundreds of years have passed since the last time Celestia's deepest and most frightening side had surfaced, and now it once again threatens to overcome her and all those she cares about most.
Storiesatrandom: “Welcome to Aliens enter Equestia! Ponies vs. Aliens!”
Storiesatrandom: “See? What do you think? I just thought it up and-”
Twilight: “Uh, Storiesatrandom? Nice poster, but we got a fic to commentate.”
Storiesatrandom: “Oh, right, sorry. It was originally gonna be for a joke, but now I’m inspired to do this soon!”
Celestia, Rarity and Twilight: “S.A.R.!”
Storiesatrandom: “Moving on.”
Princess Molestia
Storiesatrandom: “Really? Just add the meme’s name and you get a title?”
Celestia: “Seemingly un-clever I admit.”
Twilight: “Not to mention an obvious indicator what we’re gonna go through.”
By: StreakTheFox
Storiesatrandom: “Long lost and 1000 times removed cousin of Fox MCcloud.”
“This was it... tonight, was going to be the best night ever...” Luna couldn't help but chuckle aloud to herself as she woke up about half an hour before sundown, when it would be her time to lower the sun completely and then bring forth the night she so loved to adorn with her most beloved stars and designs.
Storiesatrandom: “Obviously a night pony.”
However... her primary duty was not what particularly excited her tonight, it was moreover the date that had given her the giggles.
Celestia: “Tonight was the night of her birthday, and everypony, especially her wise, kind, and wonderful sister Celestia was invited.”
For weeks she had planned some sort of “revenge” against her sister, some sort of plot to make her pay for what she had done in the past...
Storiesatrandom: “What? A Lunar Republic and Celestial Empire fic? I thought we were riffing a fic based on a meme were Celestia was a rapist? Why bring what happened in the past into this?”
and once the clock turned midnight, and the calender flipped to the first day of April, all bets would be off and Luna would begin preparing her most cunning prank yet.
All: “Oh…”
Rarity: “She’s planning a prank.”
Celestia: “Well, I’m glad she doesn’t hold being banished to the moon for 1000 years TOO hard.”
“Oh Luna... you are a very sneaky mare... who else better to prank than Tia herself?”
Storiesatrandom: “Anyone that isn’t the one who allowed you back despite almost destroying the world?”
Celestia: “Oh, don’t worry; this isn’t the first time I had been “had” before. Luna’s pranks are harmless at best.”
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, giving the story, I think it’s gonna be a “Prank gone wrong” scenario.”
Twilight: “20 bits say otherwise.”
S.A.R., Celestia, and Rarity: “Deal.”
Once more, Luna found herself getting rather giddy as she trotted out of her room and out towards the designated balcony where she would help lower the sun and then start her wonderful night. Oh, it will be so wonderful... Luna thought to herself. It will be the most amazing night ever... I simply can't wait!
Storiesatrandom: “Did the Narrator say he was looking forward to it?”
^=^=^
Storiesatrandom: “What the hell is that above?”
Rarity: “An inferior replacement for the little star thingies I believe.”
All of Equestria was now long into the night, the thousands of stars above lightly sprinkling their eternal light upon the sleepy world below.
Storiesatrandom: “Depends on what city or place you’re talking about. At a big city, there’s like, a HUGE party or strip club or something. Then there’s New York, the city that never sleeps, or in your world, “Manehatten.”. Ok, I don’t get the horse puns to be honest. I mean, it’s like the smurfs saying they’re name a lot in replacement of more common words. I mean, I would kill if I see a smurf that didn’t say the name EVEN ONCE!”
Twilight: “Gees calm down.”
All the little fillies had gone to bed,
Storiesatrandom: “Expect the ones that sneaked out of home to see an R rated movie.”
the lights in the castle had almost all gone out,
Celestia: “Oops, forgot to pay the electric bill again.”
and only the sounds of crickets could be heard off in the distance, bringing a natural sort of chorus that set such a calm in everypony who listened to it.
Storiesatrandom: “Again, depends on which place your talking about.”
Twilight: “Well ponyvillie’s in the country, so it counts.”
Everypony was either asleep, relaxed, or enjoying their time out in a field enjoying the wonderful lights from above...
Storiesatrandom: “Or getting laid in Manehatten high on Alcohol.”
all, except for one dark blue, deliciously mischievous mare up in the Royal Palace in Canterlot.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna? Mischievous? Does this look like a prankster’s face to you?”
Luna worked in her room by herself, multiple spell books lay open around her as she stood in front of her desk, looking through the open book before her. The book was rare, and contained magical spells and incantations that no normal unicorn would ever be able to make sense of.
Celestia: “Then who was the author if no Unicorn can make sense of it?”
Luna, however, was more than able to read through the complex arrangement of symbols and words before her. Finally satisfied with the information gathered, Luna telekineticly closed the book and proceeded out of her room, a wild grin plastered on her face.
Celestia: “LOOK OUT, LITTLE SISTER! THERE’S A WILD SMILE ON YOUR FACE!”
As she slowly trotted through the halls, her horn was dimly lit as she once more ran the spell through her mind and began conjuring up the correct magical patterns and setting them in place for her to unleash into the casting of the spell itself.
Storiesatrandom: “….. Go on.”
As if like a delicate puzzle, her horn was filled with magic that wove together like strings of yarn, needing a precise order and amount of magical influence in order to be set properly in place for the spell's casting.
Storiesatrandom: “Go on.”
With the last bits coming into place, Luna turned a corner to a grand hallway of white marble and gold lined into the walls, ceilings, and floors with columns guiding through the hallway towards a large metal door, wonderfully decorated with an assortment of light colors and an almost shining cover. This was where her spell would be cast, this was where her ultimate prank would begin, and this... was Celestia's bedroom.
Storiesatrandom: “Go on.”
Celestia: “I believed it’s done.”
Normally there would be a few guards at the door of the room itself,
Celestia: “I know Equestia is friends with all other pony and non-pony nations, but even I don’t underestimate the fear of assassins…. Or a pranky little sister.”
but Luna had ordered them earlier that night to take watch at a post a bit further out, a post from which she could sneak by easily and gain access to her big sister's chamber of slumber.
Storiesatrandom: “Really, no night watch? Didn’t Luna have her own guards and…… Never mind.”
Slowly, quietly, she gently pushed open the large door and took a quick peak around the room, making sure all was still and unexpecting.
Storiesatrandom: “Expecting of what?”
Gradually she began to slip inside,
Celestia: “Oh, I never known Luna as clumsy.”
first her right foreleg, then her left...
Storiesatrandom: “Then she shakes it all about; she does the pony-poky and turns herself around! That’s what it’s all about!”
using her wings to keep the door slightly opened... next her back legs, and finally her tail...
Celestia (mimicking Luna): “Dang it tail, you ran late! You’re supposed to run recon!”
after which she slowly closed the door behind her, making the door shut without even the slightest peep.
Twilight: “Mainly because Luna is not a baby chicken.”
Everything was going according to plan...
Storiesatrandom: “The death star was in place.”
Luna approached Celestia's bed from the side,
Storiesatrandom: “A clever tactic of the Lunaikis Ponikis, as she preys on a slumbering Celestiaikis Older sisteradon.”
a large lump under a pink comforter with Celestia's cutie mark embedded into the center.
Storiesatrandom: “Damn it, Pinkimena got to Celestia first!”
The bed itself was extraordinarily large, a real eyesight for those not used to the furniture of true royalty.
Rarity: “But really anypony can get “Alicorn sized beds” at Sleepy’s.”
This did not even register in Luna's mind
Storiesatrandom: “No sale.”
as she approached the bedside, now able to hear the light snores coming from under the covers.
Celestia: “I don’t snore.”
Her horn was still dimly covered by the soft glow of the magic she had conjured and set in place, ready to be unleashed at any moment. Luna looked around one last time, inspecting her surroundings to make sure she had not forgotten anything essential to her plans.
Storiesatrandom: “But then she remembered: she forgot to save money on car insurance by switching to Geico.”
Voice: “Geico: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more.”
Lastly, she closed her eyes and thought deeply, imaging her bedroom very clearly in her mind, hopefully enough to be able to teleport out of the room quickly once the spell was cast.
Storiesatrandom: “Caught and it’s no TV for a week convinced in her room.”
It was all ready now... it was time to pull the ultimate – and probably most embarrassing – prank that Equestria had ever seen!
Twilight: “I better warn Pinkie Pie that she may have competition.”
This spell has been one heck of a pain to finally get ready,
Storiesatrandom: “It was a very difficult child to rise.”
Luna thought to herself as she looked over her sleeping sister. But now it is time for the greatest night ever...
Storiesatrandom: “Now that makes the other nights little jealous.”
Celestia (pretending to be one of the nights): “Mommy, why do you love the next night more? Weren’t we special enough for you?”
Tia, my loving sister, I always wondered what sort of embarrassing secrets you may be keeping secret in there...
Celestia: “That’s for me to know only, Luna.”
but, it would be so selfish if I were the only one to find out about it!
Celestia: “Oh, like you knowing isn’t enough?”
No... I think that this Psychosurreliac spell shall let everyone who gazes upon you to know all the things you keep tucked away...
Storiesatrandom: “Now it’s time for: WHAT THIS STORY SHOULD’VE FOLLOWED INSTEAD OF AN ANTI-CELESTIA MEME!”
Celestia: “Oh, this is gonna be fun!”
perhaps a childish desire?
(DING)
A little stuffed pony you cuddle with every night?
(DING)
Maybe you have a craving for a rather ghastly food,
(DING)
or even... Luna gasped to herself lightly as the sudden realization hit her. ...or even a CRUSH!
(DING)
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, how many short-lived ideas that would’ve been way better then a Molestia fic were there?”
Twilight: “OH, OH! 4!”
(DING DING DING!)
Storiesatrandom: “AND TWILIGHT WINS TONIGHT’S GAME!”
Twilight: “YAY! What do I win?”
Storiesatrandom: “NOTHING!”
Twilight: “Aw.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ah, I’m kidding, I’ll do an adventure fic with only you and Spike sometime in the future.”
Twilight: “YES!”
Ooooh yes, big sister, tonight will be a night to remember...
Celestia: “if Luna could hear me, I would’ve warned her that something would go wrong.”
The spell Luna had been researching for hours and piecing together in her horn was no normal spell.
Rarity: “I believe we got the idea that it came from a book that no Unicorn could understand.”
It was a highly advanced, incredibly difficult spell that – if cast improperly – may result in side-effects such as temporary memory loss, sporadic changes in mood, “Derp” syndrome, or even mental breakdowns.
Storiesatrandom: “Celestia, why did you let Luna have a book that no unicorn can understand that also contains spells that are dangerous if done wrong?”
Celestia: “Oh sweet Creation, I don’t know what that I in this fic was thinking!”
The spell was very similar to a truth-telling spell, but instead of forcing the one the spell is cast on to only tell the truth,
Storiesatrandom: “So, it’s not too different from a truth spell?”
it forcibly brings out the hidden feelings of the pony the spell is cast on and makes them practically broadcast them out to the world around them.
Twilight: “Oh, gees, yet another idea way better then a Molestia fic.”
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, that would’ve been an awesome “Silly sisters” fic, Luna putting Celestia under a truth spell, Celestia confesses all her embarrassing secrets to the world, causing global in embarrassment. Oh, that would be an awesome Good Celestia and Luna fic, I gotta remember to-”
Celestia: “NO!”
Storiesatrandom: “Come on, please? Your cake fetish was already reveled in the real show.”
Celestia sighed.
Celestia: “This one time only should you ever get to it.”
Though the effect would only last a few hours, Luna was sure she would cherish every moment of Celestia's mindless babbling and spilling of all the beans she had stored inside of her.
Celestia: “Hmm. I’m full of beans. I learn something new about myself every day.”
Luna was completely ready to see her best prank ever come to life...
Storiesatrandom (mimicking Luna): “My creation is almost complete, Igor! (then makes a really good Igor voice) Hehe, yes master, he-he-he-he.”
but as her horn flared and the beam of light shot towards Celestia, the next few seconds would vastly change her opinions on her recent actions...
Storiesatrandom: “And crud gets real right about…….”
The spell struck perfectly, and the mind-altering magic quickly began to seep through Celestia's coat and skin, traveling deep into her body and her mind in order to see what it could unravel. All Luna had to do was channel the spell for the few short seconds it took to complete, and then teleport out before Celestia realized what happened. However... only a second into the spell, the magic hit something inside Celestia that Luna didn't expect.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
It was a barrier of some sort, a seal within her own mind, something that was artificially holding back something else inside of her older sister.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
Whether Luna wanted to find out what it was or not, the spell moved too quickly for her to make any changes in it.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
The powerful effect of the spell almost instantly broke through the hidden seal inside Celestia's mind, unleashing whatever was secluded inside it. But at that moment, the magic that was holding the seal in place suddenly expelled itself from her mind violently, pushing out Luna's own spell as Celestia herself was hit with an inward jolt up and down her spine, immediately waking her up with a heavy, dry gasp.
Celestia: “I got to remember to drink water before I sleep. I apparently dehydrated a lot quicker asleep.”
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
The spell ended that second, and Luna knew something was wrong...
All: “WELL DUH!”
the spell was cast perfectly, but something inside, some other magical effect inside of Celestia had not only stopped it, but completely expelled the effects and had even woken Celestia up!
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it….”
Oh no, this is bad...
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, waking up sun goddesses in the middle of the night is a big holy crap moment.”
I have to go, I have to get out now! Before Luna had even taken the time to think about what may have caused the abrupt interference of the spell, she dove into her mind and brought up the image of her room, quickly conjuring up a quick teleportation spell and sending her out of the room.
Storiesatrandom: “Perfect time for a quick break.”
Storiesatrandom: “So, what did you think of the story so far?”
Rarity: “Well, it seems well put to together at least. But mainly because we haven’t encounter the worse of it yet.”
Celestia: “Well, other than the brief nice comments, Luna not trying to kill me intentionally or meaning to ruin my reputation in a non-childish way possible, and that I somehow allow her access to books even I shouldn’t touch, I agree with Rarity.”
Twilight: “I’ll say my final word when we’re finish with this.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ok. Well, me myself, I had fun making jokes on it at least. And like Twilight, my final word will be reveled soon enough.”
(BUZZ)
ALL: “BREAK OVER!”
*=*=*
Storiesatrandom: “The weird symbols again? Oh god, please tell me we don’t have to put up with more things like that.”
Rarity: “What the devil is wrong with stars or the lines?
Celestia, hearing the light Ping that is the sound of a teleportation spell, thrusted her upper body upward and looked around the room hastily. Nothing was there...
Celestia: “EEK! I BEEN ROBBED!”
the room stood dark and still, and only the sound of the wind blowing against the drapes of the windows was able to be heard.
Storiesatrandom: “Those drapes are having fun tonight.”
Celestia sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a minute to think about what may have just happened.
Storiesatrandom: “Wait for it…. Again.”
Was she dreaming? Did she perhaps have a nightmare
Celestia: “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have watched “Goosebumps” or “The Haunting Hour” at night.”
and her horn was on the fritz again?
Twilight: “Don’t ya mean “or”, or at least “And/or”?”
She couldn't tell, but in moments the door to her bedroom opened up as two guard ponies stepped in, looking to be as if in a rush.
Rarity: “Their wives were expecting them.”
“Princess Celestia!” The guard on the right announced. “We saw a bright flash coming from the window of your room, is everything alright!?”
Storiesatrandom: “And now, the moment we waited for folks…. In 3, 2, 1….”
“Well of course, everything's just...” a sudden jolt seemed to impact Celestia as her eyes suddenly widened, her pupils dilated harshly, and her teeth began to jitter.
Storiesatrandom: “UP! There it goes!”
Twilight (mimicking a guard): “Gee, Princess, I don’t call you having an episode fine. You need to see medical attention, stat!”
She looked down at first, her mind scrambled and her regular thought process interrupted by this strange sensation she was feeling.
Storiesatrandom: “The thought process was rather disturbed by the Strange Sensation.”
She suddenly felt dizzy,
Celestia: “From all those cakes she had. Mr. and Ms. Cake must’ve added an extra ingredient to that last cake they sent.”
her head lightly swaying side to side as something began to invade the workings of her mind.
Storiesatrandom: “MICRO PUPPET CONTROLLING ALIENS!”
The guards, seeing the apparent disarray of the princess, rushed up against the foot of the bed, seeing if the Princess was injured or perhaps giving off some sort of magical backlash, as would be the effect of most offensive spells.
Storiesatrandom: “Our first victims, ladies and, uh, more ladies, two un-named and dim-witted guards.”
Twilight: “They will be mourned.”
Yet the Princess' swaying quickly stopped, as she then looked up towards the guards, meeting each of them eye to eye.
Twilight (mimicking a guard): “Uh, we think you should still seek medical attention.”
Both guards took a step back. This... wasn't the regular gaze of Celestia. Her eyes were open wide and her pupils were now resembling tiny black dots.
Celestia: “Uh, guys, I’m trying to sleep, do you mind?”
Little streams of blood seeped into the whites of her eyes, making them seem bloodshot.
Storiesatrandom: “You have to admit, you would be more badass with bloodshot eyes, Celestia.”
Celestia: “I’ll stick to my less nightmarish gaze, thank you.”
Her face had a horribly creepy grin on it as her teeth continued to jitter and shake,
Storiesatrandom: “MIRCO PUPPET CONTROLLING ALIENS THAT LOOK LIKE PINKIE PIE THAT PARTY IN TEETH.”
as if she was freezing cold. Celestia's eyes shot to each of the guards quickly,
Twilight: “I don’t advise killing off your own Guards, Princess.”
going back and forth to meet with both of their eyes.
Storiesatrandom: “Hi, I’m Celestia’s eyes.”
Rarity: “Hello, I’m guard number 1’s eyes; these are my associates, Guard number two’s eyes.”
Twilight: “Charmed, we’re sure.”
Before another word was spoke from the guards, Celestia's horn lit up and the door behind them shut with a loud thud.
Storiesatrandom: “Won’t that just bring more attention?”
The lock on the door shined magically as it slit into place, sealing out anypony outside and trapping any others inside with what now lurked in Celestia's bed.
Celestia: “Uh, I’m sure it’s still me… or, an Anti-Celestia clone.”
The two guards looked back at the closed door, then to each other, both with obvious strikes of fear in each other's faces.
Celestia: “Not the most professional guards I have, are they?”
Storiesatrandom: “Eh, maybe they’re rookies.”
They didn't even begin to remotely understand what had happened to Celestia, what had happened in the room before they came in, but she wasn't her now... she was, something else...
Celestia (sarcastically): “Oh dear, what am I now?
the look on her face sent shivers through their bodies as her eyes seemed to pierce like the tip of a spear into each of their souls.
Storiesatrandom (mimicking a guard): “Uh, Celestia? Could you have your eyes not pierce our souls?”
Celestia: “Oh, sorry.”
Neither guard could move as Celestia gazed at each of them, her grin widening while the sheets on her bed began to slide down by her own magic.
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, they’re either gay or married if they are not looking forward of getting jiggy with a goddess.”
Rarity: “Well, we know this image isn’t true for sure.”
“My loyal, most trustworthy guards...” Celestia finally spoke, her voice piercing through the silence of the room.
Celestia: “Sorry about that, Silence.”
“Would you care to join me... tonight... in a most wonderful slumber?”
Twilight (mimics the guard): “HELL YEAH!”
The two guards once again exchanged glances, and then returned their focus to Celestia just in time to see her horn once again light up, and take hold of the armor that bound them. Almost effortlessly the gold plating slipped off their bodies, fully revealing the white coats of their bodies while the armor was flung to the side of the room.
Celestia: “Suddenly my guards look less intimidating without that armor.”
“P-princes... are you alright? You seem rather... shaken...”
Storiesatrandom: “Uh, missing the second S much?”
“Oh, I was feeling very lonely earlier... but now that you both are here, I now have something to keep me occupied...”
Storiesatrandom: “Surprise, Surprise, she’s Molestia now.”
A magical force on the rumps of both guards pushed them towards the bed a little.
Storiesatrandom: “Hey, Magical force, they aren’t even ready yet!”
“W-we really should... ya know, get b-back to... standing g-guard, ma'am...”
Rarity: “I didn’t know Scootaloo was a guard. Oh wait, she’s a young mare. That means, those guards are chickens. Better yet, gay chickens. No, no wait, gay married chickens, no, even better, gay, married, rookie chickens.”
Storiesatrandom: “Not as funny as you thought it would’ve came out.”
“Oh I think you've done a fine job tonight... but now it's time for another duty of yours...”
Celestia: “Help me find my teddy bear.”
Others: “……”
Celestia: “What?”
Storiesatrandom: “You have a teddy bear?”
Celestia: “Uh, no.”
Storiesatrandom: “Oh good, cause I plan for you to keep on a blanket. You see, I am planning a fic based on this Powerpuff Girls episode where Buttercup has this blanket and-”
Celestia: “Moving on!”
The magical force tugged their bodies closer to the bed, halving the distance from where they started.
Storiesatrandom: “Oh god, prepare for something not called for.”
“B-b-but princess! Wha... what other duty is there for us, y-your majesty?”
“Only the most important, most taxing, and most pleasurable duty of all...”
Celestia: “A SLEEP OVER! I HAVE A SLEEPOVER GUIDE AND EVERYTHING! THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!”
Celestia's wings had now begun to unfurl as the magical force once more pushed the two guards even closer still.
Celestia: “Impressive wingboner I confess, even if I do say so myself.”
“P-princess Celestia of Equestria!” One guard finally cried out in a terrified yell. “What has gotten into you!?”
Storiesatrandom: “Gee, didn’t you even read the script?”
The very next moment, Celestia pushed herself off of her bed, launching her entire body down over the foot of the bed and against the two guards, sending them both falling back with their legs sprawled out and their faces stricken with fear.
Twilight: “Actselly, they could’ve been dead by now, with Celestia Alicorn frame and their body size, the impact of the pounce should’ve resulted with one hell of a mess for somepony to clean up tomorrow.”
Celestia towered over them, her hooves against the outer shoulder and outer thigh of each of the guards, as if keeping them trapped within her grasp.
Storiesatrandom: “Oh god, here it comes!”
Celestia: “Twilight, cover your eyes, this might not be pleasant.”
Twilight covers her eyes.
Her head slung down as her smile only increased with a slight drool traveling over her lip.
“It is not what has gotten into me, but instead, what is going into you!”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s the big one folks, as those guards are gonna-”
^=^=^
Storiesatrandom: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”
Twilight slowly opens her eyes.
Celestia: “I’ll tell you when it’s time to close again.”
“Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
All: “As of our quotes.”
Luna boasted as she paced back and forth in her room, scorning herself for messing up such an important spell and ruining a great prank. “I was soooo close to getting the ultimate revenge, and it had to screw up! I'm so stupid for not thinking this through enough... how could I be so DUMB!?”
Celestia: “There, there, Luna, you’ll get another chance.”
The constant bombardment Luna was bringing on herself continued, her rapid pacing including the stomping of her hooves, the whipping of her tail against her desk, and the occasional banging of her horn against her bed. Now, not only did she fail her prank and spoil her once chance for a good laugh, but she probably now also got Tia incredibly upset with her, and was surely in for some sort of punishment.
Celestia: “Which I like to ensure isn’t moon related.”
Luna's body flinched as the though of another year on the moon passed through her mind... or maybe another whole thousand of them.
Storiesatrandom: “Again with missing a second word?”
Celestia: “And I don’t like Luna thinking I’ll banish her to the moon just because of a prank.”
Her train of thought was cut off by a sudden shriek coming from the distance.
Storiesatrandom: “Train robbery!”
It was a colt's voice, but it seemed to come from outside. Quickly Luna ran out onto her balcony and looked around for only a few seconds before she noticed a flickering, colorful display of lights coming from the window of Celestia's bedroom.
Celestia: “I was having a good time at my slumber party.”
“That.. that light's a result of magical discharge! Oh my... Celestia!”
Storiesatrandom: “Victim number three coming in, folks.”
Without hesitation Luna burst through her bedroom door and practically flew down the hallway, taking the few turns needed to get back to the main hallway leading to Celestia's royal bedroom. Already there was a crowd of guards around the door, all of them trying desperately to break open the door and get inside to the source of the commotion.
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, make that after all those other guards. I am not gonna count all of them or we’ll be here all night.”
Quickly, Luna fed magic through her horn, and focused it under the door and up to the lock. She felt her way around it, working her magic through the bolts and slides of the lock itself before finally getting it undone.
Celestia: “Twilight, cover your eyes again, this looks serious.”
Twilight covered her eyes again.
As she flew towards the door, the guards stopped gathered behind her, knowing Luna would possibly be the most important to enter the room. In the next moment, Luna's front hooves collided with the large door and pushed it open fully revealing the scene inside which sent a gasp to each pony still in the hallway.
Celestia: “IT’S THE GOSH DARN BEST SLUMBER PARTY IN EQUESTI-”
Storiesatrandom: “Save it, we know what it’s really gonna be shown.
Both guards inside had their armor stripped, their bodies covered in sweat and other forms of wetness while panting heavily.
Twilight: “Can I see now?”
Storiesatrandom: “Keep them close, I think it’s coming soon enough.”
Their faces held expressions of fear and anguish, their figures seemed depleted as if their energy had all been taken away. Both were laid on their backs, their legs sprawled out widely with a slender, yet powerful hoof stroking up and down the chests and stomachs of each.
Storiesatrandom: “Well somebody had fun tonight.”
Before them stood Celestia herself, but different... her face had changed and become somewhat distorted, as if the wild grin she now held has been imprinted on there artificially.
Celestia: “I am Roboto Celestia. I grant sexual pleasure.”
Her pupils were tiny, her eyes bloodshot, even her mane was different as it seemed to spazz out randomly, like it had a mind of its own.
Storiesatrandom: “That mane was already moving on its own, so this doesn’t surprise me.”
Her tail was also acting strangely, whisking itself side to side like a playful cat,
Celestia: “I thought we were ponies, not cats.”
and her horn was still frizzing with magic while also being covered with some sort of clear liquid.
Storiesatrandom: “Thank god Molestia didn’t gore them. Then this would’ve been more anti Celestia then it already is.”
Celestia looked up and immediately stuck her gaze towards Luna, who looked back with a mix of shock, confusion, and fear at the sight before her.
Celestia: “Uh, I can explain. You see, they’re uh, drunk.”
A drop of drool started to slide down her lips as Celestia spoke out towards her sister while her eyes seemed to tear deep into Luna's soul.
Storiesatrandom: “Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not nice to tear your sister’s soul with your eyes?”
Celestia (blushing): “Once.”
“Luuunaaaa... My dear, loving, delicious sister...”
Celestia: “Oh, here comes my soon to be most un-favorite part: me molesting my sister. This is why I hate Molestia atad more then even Tyrantia or “Tyrant Celestia” she’s calling herself.”
This was all Luna needed to hear before she immediately turned her flank around and flew as fast as she could in the opposite direction.
Celestia: “She is spending time with Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight opens her eyes again.
She didn't know where she was going, her thoughts were too scrambled and confused by what she had saw, and she was barely able to curve and steer herself around the turns and corridors she flew through. A large crashing sound was heard behind her as the group of guards from before suddenly yelled out as if suddenly hit by something.
Storiesatrandom: “That better not be slaughter I hear over there!”
As Luna continued to fly, it became obvious by the faint, yet distinguishable glow behind her that Celestia had forced her way past the guards, and was not far behind.
Celestia: “Run sister, run from the imposter Celestia before you!”
Luna pushed forward, racing as fast as her wings could take her down each hallways and past each doorway, only to finally come to a dead end... in her own bedroom.
Storiesatrandom: “Don’t ya hate it when they always make this mistake in b movies like this.”
“Oh no, oh no oh no oh no!” She gasped to herself, desperately trying to figure out what to do next. Quickly she closed the door to her room, hoping that perhaps that would help her hide from her older sister long enough for her to find a solution. This, however, proved to be unfortunately false.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna, you can still get out of here, just fly out the window and-”
Only moments later Luna's bedroom door swung open loudly, Celestia herself prancing into the room with the same wicked grin on her face while her wings stayed completely unfurled and spread outwards around her.
All: “Too late.”
Luna's heart sank as a cold, painful shiver ran down her spine and throughout her body.
Storiesatrandom: “A billion lives were lost on the S.S. Luna’s heart.”
Twilight: “On a lighter note, the citizens of Luna’s spine had the best snow day ever.”
She turned around just in time to see Celestia's front hooves rear up and push Luna back onto her own bed, making her give off a slight shriek of pain. The door into the room shut quickly, and all the windows immediately closed with the curtains sliding over them as Celestia's horn began to flow once more with intense magic.
Celestia: “Ok, Twilight, close your eyes, this is the real deal.”
Twilight covers her eyes.
Twilight: “No need to tell me twice.”
“T-tia! Sister! Wha... What in all of Equestria has gotten into you!?”
Celestia: “You turned me into an Anti-Me meme, sister. What else?”
Celestia pounced onto the bed, her hooves on either side of Luna's body as she brought her head down closer towards her sister's.
Storiesatrandom: “Clearly Celestia is the one who wears the pants of this relationship.”
Celestia: “We don’t wear clothes.”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s a metaphor.”
Celestia: “Met who?”
Storiesatrandom: “Celly, after this, we’re gonna have a talk.”
“Oh Luna... I have always loved you so very much. How I've always dreamed of feeling your soft, well groomed coat...”
Celestia: “Pretty sure I don’t dream of my sister’s coat.”
Celestia's right hoof trailed up and down from luna's neck to her chest and around to her side.
Storiesatrandom: “I thought your sister was a pony, not the Grand Canyon.”
“your dazzling, wonderfully plush blue mane...”
Celestia: “You know, before Season 2 turned it into a mane in style of mine, but in a shape of stars of a blue night.”
Like a tentacle, Celestia's mane slithered down and wrapped itself around Luna's which was laid out beside her.
Celestia: “It disgusts me that even my mane is being unmorally naughty.”
“And your Exquisitely erotic body.”
Celestia: “If I didn’t know this was a film, I-”
Storiesatrandom: “Chill Celly, no point to argue with a character in the film.”
Celestia dipped her head lower and slid out her tongue, slowly bringing it against Luna's chest and up her neck and muzzle, stopping just on her bottom lip.
Storiesatrandom: “Is it that it slightly turns me on?”
Others: “YES!”
Luna's entire body was now trembling with fear,
Celestia: “First sliding, now she is tripping in fear? I think Luna needs lessons on how not to be clumsy.”
her inner most instincts about ready to force her into violent retaliation if it had to come to it, only being held back by the fact that this was Luna's older sister here, now, on top of her, feeling up her body as if she was some sort of perverted play toy.
Storiesatrandom: “At least Luna has a sort of respect to me that she would even let, “that” impersonator me do this.”
Storiesatrandom: “It’s also because you were heavier then her.”
This was not the Celestia she knew, and there was no way she could think of a way out with her mind as horrifically scrambled as it was.
Storiesatrandom: “This is your mind. This is your mind on drugs and unprotected sex. Any questions?”
Celestia: “Can I have my scrambled brain sunny-sided up?”
Celestia's tail slithered and stroked itself against Luna's, but soon began to ride up the tail and slide itself against luna's rear, exploring her figure and spreading apart her legs, splaying open her haunches obscenely while it lathered itself against Luna's coat.
Storiesatrandom: “Now your tail’s snake like? First something about a cat, now it’s a snake? Can’t your mane and tail make up their minds?”
Celestia: “Well, I guess since this me can’t think straight, neither can my mane and tail.”
The sensation that ran through Luna's body forced a small moan to escape her lips,
All: “JAILBREAK!”
Twilight screams!
Celestia: “Twilight, close your eyes!”
Twilight did just that!
pushing through Luna's best efforts to keep it held down. This only excited Celestia even more as her mane wrapped itself around Luna's and tugged her head closer, her body now lowering down and brushing up directly against Luna's while Celestia's eyes grew wider still.
Storiesatrandom: “Any wider and she can’t have a face or a 3rd of her body anymore. She’ll end up like Plucky Duck from Tiny Toons when he was stuck on giant eye mode!”
Her tongue slipped out once more
Celestia: “OH MO, MY MOUNGE MAME MOUT!”
and slid itself around luna's face and muzzle, swirling around her nose and mouth before suddenly jolting down between her lips and forcing inside Luna's saliva-coated orifice.
Storiesatrandom: “Anyone had any idea what orifice is?”
No answer.
Storiesatrandom: “I thought so. No body uses words simpler people understand.”
At that exact moment, Celestia's lower body connected with Luna's and roughly began to push and grind up and down against her, pressing with enough force to move Luna's body forward and back against the bed as well.
Storiesatrandom: “Hey, easy you rascals!”
Luna couldn't withstand this feeling coursing through her entire body.
Storiesatrandom: “It has to leave! It’s over-due on rent day!”
She was in a state of compelling fright as her older sister dominated her and used her like some sort of toy, yet at the same time the flowing sensation racing through her body was unimaginably pleasurable.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna had the secret hots for her own sister? Damn, no wonder she acted so damn moody in my story “A private meeting with the princess.”.”
Celestia: “If that’s the case, I need to have a strong talk with her why is wrong for sisters to mate with each other.”
That sensation bore through like a hot flame passing over the surface of fresh oil, reaching the endpoints of her body and then repelling back with double the force like a wave crashing against the wall and sending more waves back.
Storiesatrandom: “Luna’s an ocean now? Well, then the joke about Luna’s heart being a ship made more sense then.”
This kept up for several minutes, with each passing moment diving Luna's body into further strain of dealing with this sort of forced pleasure.
Celestia: “She personally felt it was rushed and deserved more defeliment.”
Just when Celestia had began to lose herself in the full force of her domination over her sister,
Storiesatrandom: “the Parents came in and grounded Celestia and cured her of whatever happened to her and all was forgiven. The end.”
Celestia: “Sorry, if it doesn’t work for Ratherhomely, who’s to say it’s gonna help us out?”
a sudden poof of smoke appeared before her with a magical sputter.
Celestia: “The smoke was rather awkward. Oh, Twilight, I think we’re done for the moment, you can open your eyes again.”
Twilight opens her eyes.”
Quickly, Celestia reared back – while still staying on top of Luna –
Storiesatrandom: “Cause god forbid if Luna was allowed to escape. Then again, Luna would’ve been able to stop this and this would be over quickly.”
and examined the magical cloud before her just in time to see it materialize into... a letter!
Storiesatrandom: “R to be patific, for rape. Wow, even something as disgusting as this tries to pass some education.”
Instinctively, Celestia used her magic to unravel the letter and began to read its contents.
Celestia: “Hmm, I wonder what my student wrote.”
Dear Princess Celestia...
My friends and I have all learned an important lesson today. Though it may be a lot easier to simply stand by and watch as something wrong happens to somepony else, sometimes you just need to stop and stand up for yourself. To be treated unfairly just because of a little rumor, a small white lie, or even due to some silly stereotype is a big mistake, and even if it isn't happening to you or someone you know, you should try to help make sure things right, so that everypony gets treated fairly and have equally fun experiences.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
Twilight: “Not sure if I remember even writing that message.”
Storiesatrandom: “Because there wasn’t an episode about racial problems. Your kid show characters, you tend to avoid conversel and adult stuff like that.”
Twilight Sparkle....
Storiesatrandom: “Yeah, we know who “supposingly” wrote the latter.”
Twilight Sparkle...
Storiesatrandom: “Is there a broken record player here?”
“...Twilight Sparkle!”
Celestia: “I wonder who said it?”
Storiesatrandom: “I think it was supposed to be you.”
It had only taken a few moments for Celestia to read the letter, but the last two words – the name of the sender – repeated itself in her head for much longer.
Storiesatrandom: “And damn did it annoy her.”
Luna, although still trapped underneath Celestia's body, was panting as she looked up, confused at Celestia who appeared to be in mid-gasp.
Storiesatrandom: “Is there a lower and higher gasp then?”
As if like a bolt of lightening, all the memories of Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and all of ponyville suddenly darted through her mind and enveloped her thoughts.
Celestia: “I’m sure lightening doesn’t work like that.”
She looked down towards Luna,
Celestia: “Luna, why are you under me?”
who returned the gaze with a still frightened, yet confused look.
Storiesatrandom: “How can anyone be frighten and confuse at the same time?”
Luna and the guards were one thing...
Storiesatrandom: “Tecnecly more than one.”
but Twilight and her friends... oh how she had desired to feel through all of them too.
Storiesatrandom: “Not loyal to your sex slaves, are you?”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW!”
And in a few more moments, her mind was made up.
Storiesatrandom: “Well, she is tecnecly fictional.”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW! AGAIN!”
She stood up on the bed, pulling her body off of Luna's, blew open the door to the bedroom and raced out at nearly top speed, leaving a dazzling magical trail behind her that slowly faded away.
Celestia: “Apparently I sleep with racing shoes to bed.”
Luna was still laying on the bed, her legs sprawled out and her hot, sweating body exposed.
Storiesatrandom: “This is like she’s posing for a slut magazine or something.”
Celestia slaps Storiesatrandom!
Storiesatrandom: “OW! Yet again! Ok, seriously, why are you slapping me? You don’t even have hands.”
Celestia: “I have a limit how far you are allowed to go too far. And you’re beyond the safety zone.”
Storiesatrandom: “Ok, I’ll be sure to be careful what I say then.”
She lay on her back, panting, her horn giving off a slight magical discharge while she slowly closed her eyes, utterly exhausted both emotionally and physically, and then drifted off to sleep.
Storieatrandom: “What a way to end a story.”
End part 1
Storiesatrandom: “And that’s part 1. Oh boy, that means it’s a chapter story. Let’s agree to worry more when it’s time.”
Storiesatrandom: “Now, the final words. Ladies?”
Twilight: “Well, there were obvious spelling mistakes, some words or letters are missing, and alcourse it focuses on one of the evil Celestia fan memes.”
Rarity: “On my note, the Luna in this story is out of character by season 2 standards. Well, I supposed that can be forgiven. This was probably made before Season 2 came.”
Celestia: “Other then what you 2 formentioned, it seems like a decent read. Yes, I dislike it because it makes me into a sci-fi movie villain, and the short lived ideas that would’ve been better plot ideas for this story instead of, Molestia, then what that I did to Luna. But, at least it is a clever and witty read, I had fun making blacken lines in-between, and, I am actselly looking forward what happens next.”
Storiesatrandom: “My say on the matter? Same as the three of you, slight spelling problems, which I can forgive, it’s my problem too, some words are missing some required letters, an out of date Luna (or no longer canonly correct by season 2 standards), making Celestia look bad, sister on sister sex (but that is not even the worse of it), and my notes, Italics that bad mouth micro-organisms, non-sentient animals, Non-pony races, sweets talks princesses then trashes on them, an un-clever title, the rape, the fact Celestia allowed Luna to have a dangerous book Period, that it holds dangerous magic no Unicorn understands yet it exists anyway because, of some reason or another, cowardly and moronic guards, and finally, running on a turned down b-movie logic. And, that’s what makes is somewhat interesting. You see, it’s the obvious clichés that makes it charming ironically. I actselly read this story before I even got into the writing business, and I saw the ending… which I won’t spoil again (I may already done it before) to those that haven’t read it. Though I do not approve of making Celestia a villain or a B-movie monster, I would actselly recommend this to anyone who’s interested in excitement, or just want to know about it. We’ll set up more chapters soon and maybe even look at this story's “Alternate endings”…. I mean it; this guy literally posted his alternate endings. Boy, I seen them, and let’s just say, I’m glad those became alternate period. I’m Storiesatrandom, and they were Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, and Rarity, we remember it so you don’t have too.”
Twilight: “Did you have to rip off the Nostalgia Critic?”
Storiesatrandom: “………….Sorry.”