MPPT3K Guest Submission:
Vacation is Elation, Chapter 4
Muleicious brings his riff of Vacation is Elation to it's conclusion.
So... yeah.
Enjoy!
Guess who? No seriously, guess... It’s Muleicious! (Yeah... that was bad) I’m here with the fourth and final chapter of Super Big Mac’s epic tale Vacation is Elation. I have to say, I enjoyed riffing this. It’s my first non-gore/non-clop/non-troll fic I’ve riffed, and I think it stands its own as a good story. Yeah, the grammar could use a bit of work, but it was rushed. So, here it is everypony!
Also,this riff was edited by Super Big Mac himself!
Muleicious: *Waking up* W...what happened?
Rarity: *walking in, drying her mane with a towel magically* Oh, you’re awake. You passed out there for a bit darling.
Mule: Really?
Twilight: *looks at the ceiling, blushing guiltily* Kind of.
Mule: What do you mean ‘kind of’?
Pinkie: *from the TV* No time for that! We’ve got one last chapter of this story to riff, and Dash is so pumped for this she’s doing back flips! Right Dashy?
Rainbow Dash: *sleeping in corner of the room*
Pinkie: Well... Maybe not that excited. Here it comes!
*BUZZ*
All: We’ve got story sign!
Spike was hungry, tired, and angry. But he was also determined.
Mule: He’s kind of over emotional.
Twilight: Well he is a baby.
Before him stood a door that was only just bigger than Big Macintosh, and twice as wide.
Rarity: He knew this thanks to his Big Macintosh Door Measuring Ruler.
Mule: Only three easy payments of $9.99
Spike grunted as he pulled it open. Spike got down on all fours and scuttled forward, being as silent as possible.
Hearing laughter just around the next bend, the purple scaled dragon stopped,deciding to listen in on what was going on. "Here's to another decade of life!"
"Here, here!"
"Yeah! I've got so many ideas on how we can kill them, that I don't even know where to start! I mean, really! I could totally go for bringing zombies back. Remember that? Now that was fun. We should do that again soon!"
Twilight: “I’ve got an idea! Let’s talk very loudly about our evil plans for no reason!”
Rarity: “Oh yes! And let’s do it by this megaphone!”
Mule: These guys are cockier than Discord and Chrysalis combined.
"No, Blinky. Too soon. I was thinking something more... altruistic in form.
Rarity: “We’ll paint them a nice bright burgundy, then we kill them.”
Twilight: Altruistic Rarity, not artistic.
A quick death for them, means that we get closer to finally opening the Vault sooner."
Mule: So... Instead of using their unicorn’s magic, or just trying to blow up the door, they’re killing ponies to open a Vault. A Vault, which they probably don’t even know the contents of.
Rarity: Makes sense to me.
The stallion chuckled. "But of course I understand your point. You want to have fun. You always want to have fun. Hmm..."
Twilight: For Celestia’s sake, if you’re going to tease us with clop filled lines, just make a clop fic!
"I say we skin 'em alive. Or make them fight each other. Or both."
"Pssh, an' Tha's why Ah ain't ever gonna let ya mess wit'em wittout someone else up here, Do.
Mule: Ok, I can take the bad accent, but the bad grammar is just a step too far.
Ya jus' ain't right. Killin 'em clean'll let us stretch their coats a mite bit more, an' that means-"
Twilight: That we can leave?
Rarity: Their coats are stretchy?
Mule: Jack shit?
"Ya, ya, ya. 'One less pony per us.' You say that every time, but we still have so much wall to cover before the Vault will open!
Twilight: Seriously, all this just to open a vault? Just guess the combination! I bet it’s something that crazy ponies just use like 1234.
Pinkie: *From the TV* Hey! That’s the combination to my luggage!
And Midnight, are you even sure that you read the inscriptions correctly? I mean, don't get me wrong, Immortality at the cost of a few dozen ponies that look like me is all fine and dandy, but I'm bored!
Mule: After the first hundred or so ponies I get bored too. *Twilight and Rarity stare at Mule in shock* What?
I want something exciting to happen! Hell, I'd even settle for that little ass wipe, Spades!"
"Hey, now. I'd never go anywhere near a flank that badly in need of a wash."
Daring Do looked around, eyebrows furrowed as she tried to find the source of the voice.
Rarity: We’ve been doing that for the past two chapters, and we still don’t know!
"Hey, Daring. What's black and burnt and screams like a little filly?"
Twilight: Um... Marshmallows?
Rarity: Chocolate Cake?
Mule: Poptarts?
Spike dropped down from the ceiling, landing right in front of the mare. He breathed a huge amount of flames at the pegasus. "You."
Twilight: Who said that?! Spike?
Rarity: Let’s just say it was Gummy and move along.
Rainbow Dash looked away, even as she silently cheered the baby dragon on.
Mule: *clears his throat* Yay.
Those screams could have come from her... She unconsciously tightened her grip around Scootaloo's body, burying the filly's head in her neck to drown out the cries.
Twilight: Then she snapped Scootaloo’s neck. The End.
"Hey, now. Don't make me kick your hide, mister. Angel wouldn't like it if I had to kill something other than a copy." Fluttershy whimpered as her copy grinned maliciously at Spike.
All: Holy buck!
Mule: Go Fluttershy!
Twilight: Wait, how did she get out of her cage? In fact, how did she get into the fight at all?
Mule: Who cares? I’m just waiting for Fluttershy to go all Iron Will on that clone.
"Oh, puh-leeze! You're almost a bigger push over than Daring, Shutterdry. Besides."
The dragon jumped, his body disappearing from sight. "I know how to push all of your buttons." The yellow stallion looked around, fear creeping onto his face.
Rarity: So, now it’s Spike fighting again, or was Fluttershy just watching from the sidelines, or is... *eyes spin and she passes out from confusion*
Twilight: She’ll be ok.
"Oh yeah? I- I'd like to see you try!"
Fwoom! Shutterdry shrieked as a wall of flames erupted behind him. He took a step forward and found more flames in his way. Turning left and right, he found more flames. "Ha! Is that the best you've got? I-I can s-still fly!"
The stallion began to slowly rise into the air, his movements jittery. "Sorry, Shutter, but you've got a date with your Angel of Mercy." A small animal fell into the flames, shrieking soundlessly as Shutter flew upwards.
Mule: Crap, when did this fic get so dark?
Twilight: When Spike started killing evil clones. Wait... Spike killing... *her eyes grow wide* It finally happened, we’re finally getting OOC.
Mule: Wow, three chapters and we’re just now OOCing Spike. That’s got to be a Super Big Mac record.
"Angel!" His wings locked up, and he fell into the flames,joining his pet in death.
Rarity: *wakes up* What did I miss?
Twilight: Nothing good, mostly suicide and Spike killing bunnies.
Rarity: Oh... Will you excuse me? *faints again*
Prop and Midnight both got themselves ready for a fight. Prop grabbed a stick of TNT, and Midnight started casting water spells to extinguish the fires.
"Where is tha' li'l sonuva-"slam!
Mule: Bam! Thank you ma’am! *slapped by Twilight*
Prop was knocked off her hooves by a blonde-maned orange blur. Midnight turned to cast a spell before finding himself rocketing towards the ceiling surrounded in a glow of violet magic. He was barely able to pull himself out of the way of a stalactite.
Rarity: So now they’re out of the cages? When did this happen?!
Mule: Considering they were literally bragging to themselves a little while ago, I’d say the cages weren’t even locked.
"Okay, sister. I do believe that it is time for you to die." Midnight teleported back to the ground, and took a stance a few feet away from his double. He was angry, confused, and dazed. She was angry, tired, and sore.
Twilight: At least they could both agree on one emotion. By the way, who the buck is he talking to?
Mule: Either you or Rarity... Or Sweetie Belle, or Celestia, or Luna... Or anypony that can use magic!
They charged each other.
Midnight never saw the dynamite.
Mule: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Rarity: No darling, that’s dynamite.
Mule: *facepalm*
Twilight looked around, her vision blurred by dust and tears, her hearing nothing but an insistent whine
Twilight: That’s all anypony hears when they talk to Diamond Tiara. *brohoof’s Mule and Rarity*
as she looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. She was laying down near the edge of a small crater. Applejack trotted up, her mouth moving, but nothing coming out.
Rarity: What ever it was I’m sure it had a badly written accent.
Twilight just shook her head a little, feeling nauseous and dizzy. She laid her head down and closed her eyes, strength flagging.
Mule: “Foul, holding on the defense.”
"C'mon, Twi! Don't fall asleep! We need your help! Twi, c'mon, please be okay!" Rarity looked over to where Applejack was fretting over Twilight's semi-conscious
Mule: Evolved
form.
'Ohhh, all my friends are out there, fighting, and I'm just standing here doing nothing! I- I should help, but... I- There's too much dirt, and- and all that blood!' Rarity looked around nervously for her own doppelganger.
Rarity: Is... Is that what Super Big Mac really thinks I would do? I...I... *runs away crying*
Mule: Rarity! Wait! Super Big Mac didn’t mean it! *runs after her*
Twilight: Don’t you leave me here with the rest of this thing! At least say it’s break time!
***
Rarity: *sobbing* W...Well, what’s happened so far?
Mule: Well Spike’s killed a good amount of the villains, Twilight got knocked out, and somehow the ponies got out of their cages. Oh, and SBM insulted you.
Rarity: *whimpers*
Twilight: Well, this was before the Wedding Rarity, nopony knew you could fight.
Mule: That’s right Rare, nopony... Wait, Twilight, how did you know about the brony community not knowing about the wedding yet?
Twilight: Well... um... Oh fine! You found me out. *stomps her hoof on the ground and reveals that she is actually... Discord*
Rarity and Mule: What?! How?!
Discord: I offered to take Twilight’s place during the break between chapters. In her words, it was ‘too good to pass up’.
Mule: You realize that you’re stuck here with us now, right?
Discord: I... Oh horse apples!
*BUZZ*
All: Story sign!!!
Daring, Prop, Midnight,
Mule: The Professor, Mary Ann, Donner, Blitzen,
and Shutterdry were all already gone. Pinkie and Blinky were having a very curious showdown,
Discord: Pray to Celestia that it wasn’t a sing off.
consisting of cakes and other confectionery treats being thrown at each other, usually resulting in acidic effects. All that was left was... her.
Rarity: Oh my lord!
Discord: Are you really surprised that Pinkie killed a pony in a fanfiction?
Rarity: No, I just remembered I left my oven on.
Rarity's eyes widened as her own double finally made an appearance. Wearing a fashionable vest with quite a few different knives on it, she barely resembled the fashionista.
Mule: What did she look like? A cactus?
She was also heading straight for Applejack. Rarity hesitated for a moment, wishing she could lift something as heavy as the table,before setting off at a gallop at the farm filly herself. Closing her eyes, she lowered her head to but the other alabaster unicorn out of the way.
With a wet, meat sllnk, she converged on her double.
Rarity: *faints*
Mule: That’s what I call a ‘splitting head’ ache.
Discord: No... just... Just no.
When she landed, her horn was still pretty well stuck in between two ribs. Her eyes dilated as fear and shock fought inside her. Small hands gently grabbed her head and pulled her horn out slowly,
Mule: Lyra’s here?
before grabbing a cloth and wiping the gore off. Spike stood over the top of her, muttering to himself as he helped her through the daze he felt himself in.
Mule: I knew that little punk was a stoner! The .MOVs are right!
Pinkie Pie stumbled over, her hair as straight as the day she was born. "I killed her..."
Discord: You know what, I’m just going to make this easy. *insert Cupcakes joke here*
She was shaking slightly, tears welling in her eyes. Applejack pulled her into a hug, soon followed by a hollow-feeling Rarity.
Mule: Why does that sound like some sort of cookie?
Dash was still curled around Scootaloo, shivers trailing up and down her spine.
Discord: Follow the Rainbow spine road.
Spike got up and walked to the door. He sent three bursts of fire out over the canopy. After five minutes, he repeated that
Mule: Bat
signal.
He kept at it until Celestia arrived.
Rarity: *yawns as she wakes up* Well, it took her long enough.
Using a spell to shrink herself a little, the Regent of the Sun walked inside, her sister right behind her.
Discord: So, according to that last sentence, Celestia is some sort of giant that can’t fit into a cave.
Mule: Apache Celestia! EE Nay Chuck!
Discord: ... Really?
Mule: Wait, how did you...
Discord: I’m chaos, I don’t have to explain it.
There wasn't much to say. No celebration. No relief.
Rarity: No way that could’ve gone any better.
Discord: No idea how Pinkie was the only one to stay in character.
Mule: *singing* No time left for you, on my way to a better place... *slapped by Discord*
Just deadened senses and slow reactions. The group of ponies were all levitated by the two Alicornsonce
Discord: Remember kids, the space bar is your friend.
all their wounds were healed, and they were carried to the boat. Spike closed the door one last time, using his fire and tar the guards were pouring to seal the entrance. They left.
Rarity: *sarcasm* No? Really?! Because I thought they’d want to stay on the island of crazy ponies!!!
Mule: Calm down Rarity, it’s almost over.
Discord: Or is it?
Skaterate kicked at Daring Do's still form. "Get up, you ninny. You'll live."
Mule: The part of Skaterate was played by Granny Smith apparently.
Daring Do groaned, a husky chuckle emanating from her ruined throat.
Discord: I didn’t know huskies could chuckle.
Mule: And you thought my headache joke was bad?
"Good thing they decided to leave us here. I'll like using this place again." She laughed again as Velvety got to her hooves, the stab wound through her heart healing over.
Rarity: So... time does heal all wounds.
Discord: Ok, that was a good one.
Mule: I’ll give it an nine out of ten.
"Really, though. I'd expected something a little less from that group. They didn't seem that tough. I guess it was stupid of us to keep them together."
Discord: “I mean, it’s not like they’re strong enough to use the Elements of Harmony or anything.”
The filly unicorn looked at her sister as she began to brush her mane into it's resplendent shape.
Rarity: If it’s already resplendent, why would she need to brush it?
Mule: I’m just wondering how Skaterate turned from a he to a she.
"You think? That stupid dragon was able to escape 'cause you told us not to kill him!"
The faux-farm filly helped her sister find her foreleg as the others argued. "Dumb dynamite... Fool thing to do, Props. Fool thing."
Discord: She pities the fool that uses dynamite.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, 'Blossom. Jus' gimmie mah leg."
Mule: Wonder what happened the first time she lost it.
After a few minutes of finding lost pieces or regrowing them, the group was once again standing. Not proudly, though. They looked at the wall. "Ruined. Dammit! We were so close to getting in! That stupid dragon burnt it all! THe next time a dragon comes to our island, we kill it. Ya got that?!"
Rarity: I just realized, we never got to see that Spades dragon.
Mule: Nine ponies just regrew their limbs like the T-1000, and that’s what you’re thinking?
Nopony talked. There was nothing to say.
Discord: “So... how about them sports teams?”
No way to say it in a way that would cheer anyone up. Spike was worried. He'd never seen any of them like this before.
Mule: Except Fluttershy, but she didn’t count.
The sun had finally set, and time continued. They'd been gone for less than a day, and yet it felt like forever. It was a day none of them was likely to forget, and yet...
Rarity: the entire fandom wishes they could.
Knock, knock, knock.
Mule: Woah... deja vu.
"Come in."
"Excuse me, Princess. But, I was wondering..."
Discord: “Was Super Big Mac drunk while writing this chapter?”
"Is it about what happened on the island?"
"Yes. I, uh, I was wondering if you could, I dunno, make everypony forget what happened? Take us to Canterlot and say we missed the boat, or something? I don't know, just... I can't stand to see them like this." Spike pouted.
"Don't worry, Spike. I shall take your request into consideration. But be warned. There are many things in my past that I wish I could forget, but memory is one of the strongest magics used by everyone, yet understood by no one."
Mule: Sigmund Freud is rolling in his grave right now.
The princess nodded. "Yes, I think that, with this, I can help.
Discord: Well that was fast. What happened to the moral dilemma? I swear, it’s the revolt against me all over again.
Just as they drift to sleep, I'll slip across the surface of their minds. and clean away as much as possible.
Rarity: And now I’m picturing the Princess in a maid’s outfit... *shutters*
It won't be much, but... it will have to do."
Spike smiled, tears of relief in his eyes. "Oh, thank you, Luna!
All: … AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Mule: This is what we’ve been talking about for the past three chapters! You need to make sure your audience knows who’s talking to who, otherwise this happens!
Discord: I’m the spirit of chaos, I love confusion, and even I find this frustrating as heck!
Rarity: It makes me want to strangle puppies!
Discord and Mule: *stare at Rarity in complete shock, then move one seat away from her*
You're the best!" He hugged her foreleg, and she smiled down at him.
"Don't worry, my little dragon.
Mule: Friendship is Burning.
You'll wake up tomorrow feeling as normal as you used to. That, I can promise."
Twilight yawned, looking around the small hotel room she, Spike, and Fluttershy were sharing.
Discord: I feel a disturbance in the chaos. Like millions of clop writers saw this idea, and just stole it.
'Ugh... My head hurts. I really hope I didn't drink too much last night.' She smiled as she watched the sun warm the sand on the beach below. 'I'm glad I took Celestia's advice, though. Faustralia's wonderful.'
Mule: That... is the single most amazing thing to come out of this fic. It’s canon, it has to be canon. I’m just... Someone write a fic about Faustrailia!
She made a quick call to room service before pouncing on Spike and tickling him like she used to when they were a lot younger.
Rarity: I think Luna might’ve erased too much of her memory.
She just knew that, like the rest of the week before, today was gonna be a great day on the beach.
"Hey, Daring! Another ship's pulling in to harbor!"
Daring Do smiled maliciously, all traces of her burnt flesh completely gone. "Perfect." She laughed viciously.
All: No!
Mule: No more, I’m done! *bangs on the TV* Send me home Pinkie!
Pinkie: *from the TV* But I didn’t... *Discord snaps his claws and turns towards you*
Discord: Well, that was fun wasn’t it? I’m sure we’ll see more of Mr. Muleicious soon, but for now let’s turn things back to normal. And who knows, maybe the next fic he riffs will be as well written as the first three chapters of this story... *laughs maniacally as lightning strikes behind him* See you soon, everypony. *SNAP*
So... yeah.
Enjoy!
Guess who? No seriously, guess... It’s Muleicious! (Yeah... that was bad) I’m here with the fourth and final chapter of Super Big Mac’s epic tale Vacation is Elation. I have to say, I enjoyed riffing this. It’s my first non-gore/non-clop/non-troll fic I’ve riffed, and I think it stands its own as a good story. Yeah, the grammar could use a bit of work, but it was rushed. So, here it is everypony!
Also,this riff was edited by Super Big Mac himself!
Muleicious: *Waking up* W...what happened?
Rarity: *walking in, drying her mane with a towel magically* Oh, you’re awake. You passed out there for a bit darling.
Mule: Really?
Twilight: *looks at the ceiling, blushing guiltily* Kind of.
Mule: What do you mean ‘kind of’?
Pinkie: *from the TV* No time for that! We’ve got one last chapter of this story to riff, and Dash is so pumped for this she’s doing back flips! Right Dashy?
Rainbow Dash: *sleeping in corner of the room*
Pinkie: Well... Maybe not that excited. Here it comes!
*BUZZ*
All: We’ve got story sign!
Spike was hungry, tired, and angry. But he was also determined.
Mule: He’s kind of over emotional.
Twilight: Well he is a baby.
Before him stood a door that was only just bigger than Big Macintosh, and twice as wide.
Rarity: He knew this thanks to his Big Macintosh Door Measuring Ruler.
Mule: Only three easy payments of $9.99
Spike grunted as he pulled it open. Spike got down on all fours and scuttled forward, being as silent as possible.
Hearing laughter just around the next bend, the purple scaled dragon stopped,deciding to listen in on what was going on. "Here's to another decade of life!"
"Here, here!"
"Yeah! I've got so many ideas on how we can kill them, that I don't even know where to start! I mean, really! I could totally go for bringing zombies back. Remember that? Now that was fun. We should do that again soon!"
Twilight: “I’ve got an idea! Let’s talk very loudly about our evil plans for no reason!”
Rarity: “Oh yes! And let’s do it by this megaphone!”
Mule: These guys are cockier than Discord and Chrysalis combined.
"No, Blinky. Too soon. I was thinking something more... altruistic in form.
Rarity: “We’ll paint them a nice bright burgundy, then we kill them.”
Twilight: Altruistic Rarity, not artistic.
A quick death for them, means that we get closer to finally opening the Vault sooner."
Mule: So... Instead of using their unicorn’s magic, or just trying to blow up the door, they’re killing ponies to open a Vault. A Vault, which they probably don’t even know the contents of.
Rarity: Makes sense to me.
The stallion chuckled. "But of course I understand your point. You want to have fun. You always want to have fun. Hmm..."
Twilight: For Celestia’s sake, if you’re going to tease us with clop filled lines, just make a clop fic!
"I say we skin 'em alive. Or make them fight each other. Or both."
"Pssh, an' Tha's why Ah ain't ever gonna let ya mess wit'em wittout someone else up here, Do.
Mule: Ok, I can take the bad accent, but the bad grammar is just a step too far.
Ya jus' ain't right. Killin 'em clean'll let us stretch their coats a mite bit more, an' that means-"
Twilight: That we can leave?
Rarity: Their coats are stretchy?
Mule: Jack shit?
"Ya, ya, ya. 'One less pony per us.' You say that every time, but we still have so much wall to cover before the Vault will open!
Twilight: Seriously, all this just to open a vault? Just guess the combination! I bet it’s something that crazy ponies just use like 1234.
Pinkie: *From the TV* Hey! That’s the combination to my luggage!
And Midnight, are you even sure that you read the inscriptions correctly? I mean, don't get me wrong, Immortality at the cost of a few dozen ponies that look like me is all fine and dandy, but I'm bored!
Mule: After the first hundred or so ponies I get bored too. *Twilight and Rarity stare at Mule in shock* What?
I want something exciting to happen! Hell, I'd even settle for that little ass wipe, Spades!"
"Hey, now. I'd never go anywhere near a flank that badly in need of a wash."
Daring Do looked around, eyebrows furrowed as she tried to find the source of the voice.
Rarity: We’ve been doing that for the past two chapters, and we still don’t know!
"Hey, Daring. What's black and burnt and screams like a little filly?"
Twilight: Um... Marshmallows?
Rarity: Chocolate Cake?
Mule: Poptarts?
Spike dropped down from the ceiling, landing right in front of the mare. He breathed a huge amount of flames at the pegasus. "You."
Twilight: Who said that?! Spike?
Rarity: Let’s just say it was Gummy and move along.
Rainbow Dash looked away, even as she silently cheered the baby dragon on.
Mule: *clears his throat* Yay.
Those screams could have come from her... She unconsciously tightened her grip around Scootaloo's body, burying the filly's head in her neck to drown out the cries.
Twilight: Then she snapped Scootaloo’s neck. The End.
"Hey, now. Don't make me kick your hide, mister. Angel wouldn't like it if I had to kill something other than a copy." Fluttershy whimpered as her copy grinned maliciously at Spike.
All: Holy buck!
Mule: Go Fluttershy!
Twilight: Wait, how did she get out of her cage? In fact, how did she get into the fight at all?
Mule: Who cares? I’m just waiting for Fluttershy to go all Iron Will on that clone.
"Oh, puh-leeze! You're almost a bigger push over than Daring, Shutterdry. Besides."
The dragon jumped, his body disappearing from sight. "I know how to push all of your buttons." The yellow stallion looked around, fear creeping onto his face.
Rarity: So, now it’s Spike fighting again, or was Fluttershy just watching from the sidelines, or is... *eyes spin and she passes out from confusion*
Twilight: She’ll be ok.
"Oh yeah? I- I'd like to see you try!"
Fwoom! Shutterdry shrieked as a wall of flames erupted behind him. He took a step forward and found more flames in his way. Turning left and right, he found more flames. "Ha! Is that the best you've got? I-I can s-still fly!"
The stallion began to slowly rise into the air, his movements jittery. "Sorry, Shutter, but you've got a date with your Angel of Mercy." A small animal fell into the flames, shrieking soundlessly as Shutter flew upwards.
Mule: Crap, when did this fic get so dark?
Twilight: When Spike started killing evil clones. Wait... Spike killing... *her eyes grow wide* It finally happened, we’re finally getting OOC.
Mule: Wow, three chapters and we’re just now OOCing Spike. That’s got to be a Super Big Mac record.
"Angel!" His wings locked up, and he fell into the flames,joining his pet in death.
Rarity: *wakes up* What did I miss?
Twilight: Nothing good, mostly suicide and Spike killing bunnies.
Rarity: Oh... Will you excuse me? *faints again*
Prop and Midnight both got themselves ready for a fight. Prop grabbed a stick of TNT, and Midnight started casting water spells to extinguish the fires.
"Where is tha' li'l sonuva-"slam!
Mule: Bam! Thank you ma’am! *slapped by Twilight*
Prop was knocked off her hooves by a blonde-maned orange blur. Midnight turned to cast a spell before finding himself rocketing towards the ceiling surrounded in a glow of violet magic. He was barely able to pull himself out of the way of a stalactite.
Rarity: So now they’re out of the cages? When did this happen?!
Mule: Considering they were literally bragging to themselves a little while ago, I’d say the cages weren’t even locked.
"Okay, sister. I do believe that it is time for you to die." Midnight teleported back to the ground, and took a stance a few feet away from his double. He was angry, confused, and dazed. She was angry, tired, and sore.
Twilight: At least they could both agree on one emotion. By the way, who the buck is he talking to?
Mule: Either you or Rarity... Or Sweetie Belle, or Celestia, or Luna... Or anypony that can use magic!
They charged each other.
Midnight never saw the dynamite.
Mule: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Rarity: No darling, that’s dynamite.
Mule: *facepalm*
Twilight looked around, her vision blurred by dust and tears, her hearing nothing but an insistent whine
Twilight: That’s all anypony hears when they talk to Diamond Tiara. *brohoof’s Mule and Rarity*
as she looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. She was laying down near the edge of a small crater. Applejack trotted up, her mouth moving, but nothing coming out.
Rarity: What ever it was I’m sure it had a badly written accent.
Twilight just shook her head a little, feeling nauseous and dizzy. She laid her head down and closed her eyes, strength flagging.
Mule: “Foul, holding on the defense.”
"C'mon, Twi! Don't fall asleep! We need your help! Twi, c'mon, please be okay!" Rarity looked over to where Applejack was fretting over Twilight's semi-conscious
Mule: Evolved
form.
'Ohhh, all my friends are out there, fighting, and I'm just standing here doing nothing! I- I should help, but... I- There's too much dirt, and- and all that blood!' Rarity looked around nervously for her own doppelganger.
Rarity: Is... Is that what Super Big Mac really thinks I would do? I...I... *runs away crying*
Mule: Rarity! Wait! Super Big Mac didn’t mean it! *runs after her*
Twilight: Don’t you leave me here with the rest of this thing! At least say it’s break time!
***
Rarity: *sobbing* W...Well, what’s happened so far?
Mule: Well Spike’s killed a good amount of the villains, Twilight got knocked out, and somehow the ponies got out of their cages. Oh, and SBM insulted you.
Rarity: *whimpers*
Twilight: Well, this was before the Wedding Rarity, nopony knew you could fight.
Mule: That’s right Rare, nopony... Wait, Twilight, how did you know about the brony community not knowing about the wedding yet?
Twilight: Well... um... Oh fine! You found me out. *stomps her hoof on the ground and reveals that she is actually... Discord*
Rarity and Mule: What?! How?!
Discord: I offered to take Twilight’s place during the break between chapters. In her words, it was ‘too good to pass up’.
Mule: You realize that you’re stuck here with us now, right?
Discord: I... Oh horse apples!
*BUZZ*
All: Story sign!!!
Daring, Prop, Midnight,
Mule: The Professor, Mary Ann, Donner, Blitzen,
and Shutterdry were all already gone. Pinkie and Blinky were having a very curious showdown,
Discord: Pray to Celestia that it wasn’t a sing off.
consisting of cakes and other confectionery treats being thrown at each other, usually resulting in acidic effects. All that was left was... her.
Rarity: Oh my lord!
Discord: Are you really surprised that Pinkie killed a pony in a fanfiction?
Rarity: No, I just remembered I left my oven on.
Rarity's eyes widened as her own double finally made an appearance. Wearing a fashionable vest with quite a few different knives on it, she barely resembled the fashionista.
Mule: What did she look like? A cactus?
She was also heading straight for Applejack. Rarity hesitated for a moment, wishing she could lift something as heavy as the table,before setting off at a gallop at the farm filly herself. Closing her eyes, she lowered her head to but the other alabaster unicorn out of the way.
With a wet, meat sllnk, she converged on her double.
Rarity: *faints*
Mule: That’s what I call a ‘splitting head’ ache.
Discord: No... just... Just no.
When she landed, her horn was still pretty well stuck in between two ribs. Her eyes dilated as fear and shock fought inside her. Small hands gently grabbed her head and pulled her horn out slowly,
Mule: Lyra’s here?
before grabbing a cloth and wiping the gore off. Spike stood over the top of her, muttering to himself as he helped her through the daze he felt himself in.
Mule: I knew that little punk was a stoner! The .MOVs are right!
Pinkie Pie stumbled over, her hair as straight as the day she was born. "I killed her..."
Discord: You know what, I’m just going to make this easy. *insert Cupcakes joke here*
She was shaking slightly, tears welling in her eyes. Applejack pulled her into a hug, soon followed by a hollow-feeling Rarity.
Mule: Why does that sound like some sort of cookie?
Dash was still curled around Scootaloo, shivers trailing up and down her spine.
Discord: Follow the Rainbow spine road.
Spike got up and walked to the door. He sent three bursts of fire out over the canopy. After five minutes, he repeated that
Mule: Bat
signal.
He kept at it until Celestia arrived.
Rarity: *yawns as she wakes up* Well, it took her long enough.
Using a spell to shrink herself a little, the Regent of the Sun walked inside, her sister right behind her.
Discord: So, according to that last sentence, Celestia is some sort of giant that can’t fit into a cave.
Mule: Apache Celestia! EE Nay Chuck!
Discord: ... Really?
Mule: Wait, how did you...
Discord: I’m chaos, I don’t have to explain it.
There wasn't much to say. No celebration. No relief.
Rarity: No way that could’ve gone any better.
Discord: No idea how Pinkie was the only one to stay in character.
Mule: *singing* No time left for you, on my way to a better place... *slapped by Discord*
Just deadened senses and slow reactions. The group of ponies were all levitated by the two Alicornsonce
Discord: Remember kids, the space bar is your friend.
all their wounds were healed, and they were carried to the boat. Spike closed the door one last time, using his fire and tar the guards were pouring to seal the entrance. They left.
Rarity: *sarcasm* No? Really?! Because I thought they’d want to stay on the island of crazy ponies!!!
Mule: Calm down Rarity, it’s almost over.
Discord: Or is it?
Skaterate kicked at Daring Do's still form. "Get up, you ninny. You'll live."
Mule: The part of Skaterate was played by Granny Smith apparently.
Daring Do groaned, a husky chuckle emanating from her ruined throat.
Discord: I didn’t know huskies could chuckle.
Mule: And you thought my headache joke was bad?
"Good thing they decided to leave us here. I'll like using this place again." She laughed again as Velvety got to her hooves, the stab wound through her heart healing over.
Rarity: So... time does heal all wounds.
Discord: Ok, that was a good one.
Mule: I’ll give it an nine out of ten.
"Really, though. I'd expected something a little less from that group. They didn't seem that tough. I guess it was stupid of us to keep them together."
Discord: “I mean, it’s not like they’re strong enough to use the Elements of Harmony or anything.”
The filly unicorn looked at her sister as she began to brush her mane into it's resplendent shape.
Rarity: If it’s already resplendent, why would she need to brush it?
Mule: I’m just wondering how Skaterate turned from a he to a she.
"You think? That stupid dragon was able to escape 'cause you told us not to kill him!"
The faux-farm filly helped her sister find her foreleg as the others argued. "Dumb dynamite... Fool thing to do, Props. Fool thing."
Discord: She pities the fool that uses dynamite.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, 'Blossom. Jus' gimmie mah leg."
Mule: Wonder what happened the first time she lost it.
After a few minutes of finding lost pieces or regrowing them, the group was once again standing. Not proudly, though. They looked at the wall. "Ruined. Dammit! We were so close to getting in! That stupid dragon burnt it all! THe next time a dragon comes to our island, we kill it. Ya got that?!"
Rarity: I just realized, we never got to see that Spades dragon.
Mule: Nine ponies just regrew their limbs like the T-1000, and that’s what you’re thinking?
Nopony talked. There was nothing to say.
Discord: “So... how about them sports teams?”
No way to say it in a way that would cheer anyone up. Spike was worried. He'd never seen any of them like this before.
Mule: Except Fluttershy, but she didn’t count.
The sun had finally set, and time continued. They'd been gone for less than a day, and yet it felt like forever. It was a day none of them was likely to forget, and yet...
Rarity: the entire fandom wishes they could.
Knock, knock, knock.
Mule: Woah... deja vu.
"Come in."
"Excuse me, Princess. But, I was wondering..."
Discord: “Was Super Big Mac drunk while writing this chapter?”
"Is it about what happened on the island?"
"Yes. I, uh, I was wondering if you could, I dunno, make everypony forget what happened? Take us to Canterlot and say we missed the boat, or something? I don't know, just... I can't stand to see them like this." Spike pouted.
"Don't worry, Spike. I shall take your request into consideration. But be warned. There are many things in my past that I wish I could forget, but memory is one of the strongest magics used by everyone, yet understood by no one."
Mule: Sigmund Freud is rolling in his grave right now.
The princess nodded. "Yes, I think that, with this, I can help.
Discord: Well that was fast. What happened to the moral dilemma? I swear, it’s the revolt against me all over again.
Just as they drift to sleep, I'll slip across the surface of their minds. and clean away as much as possible.
Rarity: And now I’m picturing the Princess in a maid’s outfit... *shutters*
It won't be much, but... it will have to do."
Spike smiled, tears of relief in his eyes. "Oh, thank you, Luna!
All: … AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Mule: This is what we’ve been talking about for the past three chapters! You need to make sure your audience knows who’s talking to who, otherwise this happens!
Discord: I’m the spirit of chaos, I love confusion, and even I find this frustrating as heck!
Rarity: It makes me want to strangle puppies!
Discord and Mule: *stare at Rarity in complete shock, then move one seat away from her*
You're the best!" He hugged her foreleg, and she smiled down at him.
"Don't worry, my little dragon.
Mule: Friendship is Burning.
You'll wake up tomorrow feeling as normal as you used to. That, I can promise."
Twilight yawned, looking around the small hotel room she, Spike, and Fluttershy were sharing.
Discord: I feel a disturbance in the chaos. Like millions of clop writers saw this idea, and just stole it.
'Ugh... My head hurts. I really hope I didn't drink too much last night.' She smiled as she watched the sun warm the sand on the beach below. 'I'm glad I took Celestia's advice, though. Faustralia's wonderful.'
Mule: That... is the single most amazing thing to come out of this fic. It’s canon, it has to be canon. I’m just... Someone write a fic about Faustrailia!
She made a quick call to room service before pouncing on Spike and tickling him like she used to when they were a lot younger.
Rarity: I think Luna might’ve erased too much of her memory.
She just knew that, like the rest of the week before, today was gonna be a great day on the beach.
"Hey, Daring! Another ship's pulling in to harbor!"
Daring Do smiled maliciously, all traces of her burnt flesh completely gone. "Perfect." She laughed viciously.
All: No!
Mule: No more, I’m done! *bangs on the TV* Send me home Pinkie!
Pinkie: *from the TV* But I didn’t... *Discord snaps his claws and turns towards you*
Discord: Well, that was fun wasn’t it? I’m sure we’ll see more of Mr. Muleicious soon, but for now let’s turn things back to normal. And who knows, maybe the next fic he riffs will be as well written as the first three chapters of this story... *laughs maniacally as lightning strikes behind him* See you soon, everypony. *SNAP*